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fortune/jackbauer  view on Meta::CPAN

The FAA didn't put stronger locks on the cockpit doors, they just put a picture of Jack Bauer.
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Jack Bauer does not use condoms. He does not need to. His sperm is so fast and strong they would simultaneously fertilize and destroy any egg.  
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Marines are often refered to as Alpha Company because they begin things. Jack Bauer is known as Omega Company because he ends them.
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Jack Bauer doesn't have time to wear a seat belt. It is much more time-efficient for him to simply shoot anything that might cause an accident.
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The "Burning Bush" was Jack Bauer telling Moses what to do.
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Jack never played hide and seek as a child. Instead he played seek and afflict pain on whoever he needed to in order to get the information he wanted.  Jack still enjoys rousing rounds of this game and remains undefeated.
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Jack Bauer visited the Grim Reaper while he was on his death bed. The Grim Reaper's last words were "The student has become the master". 
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Jack Bauer went to an asian massage parlor. When the girl tried to give him a happy ending he shot her in the face because no one tries to rub out Jack Bauer.
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Jack Bauer always speaks in a whisper because his normal voice will make mortal men's heads explode.
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I have some good news, Geico just save hundreds by hiring Jack Bauer.
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7 may have ate 9, but once Jack Bauer got through threatening 7's kids and making him cry, numbers everywhere breathed easy again.

lib/Acme/24.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

    while ($tries-- > 0 && @facts < 24) {
        my %result;
        my $feed = LWP::Simple::get($url);
        XML::RSSLite::parseRSS(\%result, \$feed);
        if (exists $result{item} && UNIVERSAL::isa($result{item}, 'ARRAY'))
        {
	    for my $fact (@{ $result{item} }) {
		next if exists $seen{$fact->{title}};
		push @facts, $fact->{title};
		$seen{$fact->{title}} = undef;
	    }
        }
        sleep 1;
    }

    if (@facts && scalar(@facts) > 24) {
        splice(@facts, 24);
    }

    return(\@facts);