Acme-ConspiracyTheory-Random
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
Please report any bugs to
<https://github.com/tobyink/p5-acme-conspiracytheory-random/issues>.
SEE ALSO
REDACTED
AUTHOR
Toby Inkster <tobyink@cpan.org>.
CONTRIBUTORS
Alex Jones discovered that there are secretly other people who have
contributed to this module but Toby Inkster is working with Microsoft and
the Illuminati to cover it up. I tried to blog about it but all my posts
keep getting taken down from Tumblr. There are hidden clues on GitHub
<https://github.com/tobyink/p5-acme-conspiracytheory-random/graphs/contrib
utors>. You don't want to know how deep this rabbit hole goes!
COPYRIGHT AND LICENCE
This software is copyright (c) 2021 by Toby Inkster.
This is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify it under the
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
);
_MERGE_( $redstring, artifact => $artifact );
return $artifact;
}
sub bad_place {
my $redstring = shift // {};
my $bad_place = _RANDOM_(
'a secret Antarctic base',
'Area 51',
'Langley, Virginia',
'Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp',
'Windsor Castle',
'The Pentagon',
'Denver International Airport',
'the basement of the Vatican',
sub { myth_place( $redstring ) },
sub {
my $p = random_place( $redstring );
"a series of tunnels underneath $p";
},
sub {
my $p = random_place( $redstring );
"a secret base in $p";
},
'a facility inside the hollow Earth',
);
_MERGE_( $redstring, bad_place => $bad_place );
return $bad_place;
}
sub random_place {
my $redstring = shift // {};
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
"$art must be somewhere",
"$art is out there",
"$art can be found with GPS",
);
}
if ( my $proj = $redstring->{shady_project} ) {
push @x, (
"everybody knows $proj is happening soon",
"$proj is well-funded",
"$proj is an open secret",
"there is so much evidence for $proj",
);
}
if ( my $dl = $redstring->{dark_lord} ) {
push @x, (
"$dl is known to be growing in power",
"$dl has never seemed more powerful",
"$dl needs to be getting power from somewhere",
"$dl told me",
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
"$v died too young",
"$v sent a letter containing the truth before dying",
sub {
my $clone = clone( $redstring );
"when they did an autopsy on $v it turned out it was $clone",
},
"they never did an autopsy on $v",
"$v wrote a will",
sub {
my $g = shady_group( $redstring );
"$v was secretly one of $g";
},
sub {
my $animal = real_animal( $redstring );
"when they did an autopsy on $v it turned out they were secretly a $animal in a human suit";
},
);
}
if ( my $v = $redstring->{physicist} // $redstring->{biologist} ) {
push @x, (
"$v isn't mentioned in Aristotle's writing",
"$v hasn't given a lecture in months",
"$v isn't taken seriously by TRUE SCIENTISTS",
);
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
push @x, (
"you can't trust men",
"he said so on his Twitter",
);
}
}
if ( my $f = $redstring->{fiction} ) {
push @x, (
$f->{title} . " has secret messages encoded in it with numerology",
$f->{title} . " is satanic",
sub {
my $g = shady_group( $redstring );
my $has = splural( $redstring->{shady_group} ) ? 'have' : 'has';
$f->{author} . " $has ties to $g";
},
sub {
my $b = bad_place( $redstring );
$f->{author} . " got taken to $b for questioning";
},
);
if ( my $p = $redstring->{random_place} ) {
push @x, (
$f->{author} . " had a secret home in $p",
$f->{author} . " was secretly born in $p",
);
}
}
if ( my $animal = $redstring->{real_animal} // $redstring->{fake_animal} ) {
push @x, (
"the $animal wasn't mentioned in the Bible",
"the $animal was mentioned in the Satanic Verses",
"the $animal looks kind of weird",
"nobody has ever seen a $animal in real life",
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
$redstring->{shady_group}{name} or shady_group( $redstring );
foreach ( qw/ antagonist protagonist shady_group / ) {
if ( $redstring->{$_}{name} ) {
$bad = $redstring->{$_}{name};
$are = $redstring->{$_}{plural} ? 'are' : 'is';
$r_are = ($r =~ /s$/) ? 'are' : 'is';
}
}
push @x, (
"the Wikipedia entry for $r keeps getting edited by $bad",
"$bad keeps buying $r secretly on the stock market",
"the global supply of $r is at an all time low",
"have you ever seen $r for real with your own eyes",
"$r $r_are so damn expensive",
"$r $r_are really rare",
"Alex Jones says $bad $are linked to $r",
);
}
if ( my $topic = $redstring->{topic} ) {
my $topicname = $topic->{name};
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
"the '$fbname Exposed' website says so",
"$name even admit$s it",
"$name den$ies it but that is $lies",
);
if ( my $animal = $redstring->{real_animal} // $redstring->{fake_animal} ) {
push @x, "$name $have a picture of the $animal on their Wikipedia entry";
}
if ( my $place = $redstring->{random_place} ) {
push @x, "$name $have a secret base in $place";
}
if ( my $topic = $redstring->{topic} ) {
my $topicname = $topic->{name};
push @x, (
"$name ${( $redstring->{$actor}{plural} ? \'keep' : \'keeps' )} editing the Wikipedia page about $topicname",
"$name $are known to have ties to $topicname",
"'$name' is almost an anagram of '$topicname'",
"'$name' is the Hebrew word for '$topicname'",
"'$name' is an anagram of '$topicname' (if you spell it wrong)",
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
"$resource is a source of free energy";
},
sub {
my $mythplace = myth_place( $redstring );
my $place = random_place( $redstring );
"$mythplace is in $place";
},
sub {
my $victim = victim( $redstring );
my $mythplace = myth_place( $redstring );
"$victim discovered $mythplace and was killed to keep it a secret";
},
sub {
my $resource = precious_resource( $redstring );
my $disease = disease( $redstring );
"$resource can cure $disease";
},
sub {
my $animal = real_animal( $redstring );
my $group = shady_group( $redstring );
"the $animal is a fake animal, engineered by $group";
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
},
sub {
my $truth = hidden_truth();
my $pro = $redstring->{protagonists}{shortname} // $protagonists;
my $ant = $redstring->{antagonists}{shortname} // $antagonists;
my $want = splural( $redstring->{protagonists} ) ? 'want' : 'wants';
_UCFIRST_ "$pro $want to expose the truth that $truth and $ant will do whatever they can to stop them";
},
);
_UCFIRST_ "$protagonists and $antagonists have been in a secret war with each other $time. $war_reason."
},
sub {
my $group = shady_group( $redstring );
$redstring->{protagonists} = $redstring->{shady_group};
my $victim = victim( $redstring );
my $truth = hidden_truth( $redstring );
my $explanation = _UCFIRST_ _RANDOM_(
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
sub {
my $clone = clone( $redstring );
"$pronoun has been replaced by $clone";
},
sub {
my $place = bad_place( $redstring );
"$pronoun has been imprisoned in $place";
},
);
_UCFIRST_ "$celeb found out that $truth1 and $silence. " . _UCFIRST_ "$group $are protecting this secret.";
},
sub {
my $celeb = celebrity( $redstring );
my $pronoun = $redstring->{celebrity}{female} ? 'she' : 'he';
my $group = shady_group( $redstring );
$redstring->{protagonists} = $redstring->{shady_group};
_UCFIRST_ _RANDOM_(
"$celeb is a member of $group.",
"$celeb is a former member of $group.",
"$celeb was thrown out of $group.",
"$celeb infiltrated $group.",
"$celeb is the leader of $group.",
"$celeb is secretly worshipped by $group.",
);
},
);
if ( $redstring->{protagonists} and not $redstring->{antagonists} and _RANDOM_(0..1) ) {
my $group1 = $redstring->{protagonists}{shortname} // $redstring->{protagonists}{name};
my $group2 = shady_group( $redstring );
$redstring->{antagonists} = $redstring->{shady_group};
my $know = splural ($redstring->{antagonists}) ? 'know' : 'knows';
$theory .= " " . _UCFIRST_ _RANDOM_(
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
=head1 SEE ALSO
REDACTED
=head1 AUTHOR
Toby Inkster E<lt>tobyink@cpan.orgE<gt>.
=head1 CONTRIBUTORS
Alex Jones discovered that there are secretly other people who have contributed
to this module but Toby Inkster is working with Microsoft and the Illuminati to
cover it up. I tried to blog about it but all my posts keep getting taken down
from Tumblr. There are hidden clues on L<GitHub|https://github.com/tobyink/p5-acme-conspiracytheory-random/graphs/contributors>.
You don't want to know how deep this rabbit hole goes!
=head1 COPYRIGHT AND LICENCE
This software is copyright (c) 2021 by Toby Inkster.
This is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify it under
( run in 0.779 second using v1.01-cache-2.11-cpan-39bf76dae61 )