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fortune/jackbauer  view on Meta::CPAN

When asked the significance of the number 24, Jack Bauer just points to his crotch and nods.
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Jared didn't lose weight through Subway, he lost it because Jack Bauer tortured him in his basement for half a year.
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Jack Bauer rolled doubles three times in Monopoly but didn't go to jail, he advanced to "GO". 
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The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer.
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Jack Bauer is the Macgiver of torture.
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Ryan Chappelle and George Mason filled out Jack Bauer's annual employee evaluation. CTU's evaluation forms couldn't properly reflect Jack's awesomeness. We all know what happened to Chappelle and Mason.
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If Jack Bauer were a woman, he could give birth with no anesthesia and not even wince. He may even be able to do it as a man.
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When the football game between the Chicago Bears and the Carolina Panthers delayed the fifth season premiere of 24, nobody at CTU was happy.  The next day, the "NFL on FOX" studio was discovered to be littered with bodies, one victim even missing his...
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Jack Bauer has actually killed someone just to watch them die.
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Don't come out of the closet, Jack Bauer will find you and put you back.
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Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.'  Why?  Because He's a pussy.

lib/Acme/24.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

    my $url  = URL;
    my $page = LWP::Simple::get($url);
    my $fact = '';

    if($page =~ m(<p class="fact">([^<]+)</p>))
    {
        $fact = $1;
        $fact =~ s/^\s+//;
        $fact =~ s/\s+$//;

        if(eval('use HTML::Entities'))
        {
            HTML::Entities::decode_entities($fact);
        }

        $fact .= "\n";
    }

    return($fact);

}