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Quote	Attribution Name	Attribution Source	Category	Rating
I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.	Chief Wiggum			
Sideshow Bob has no decency.  He called me Chief Piggum. (laughs) Oh wait, I get it, he's all right.	Chief Wiggum			
Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!	Chief Wiggum			
She didn't reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police. Now where did I put my badge? Hey, that duck's got it.	Chief Wiggum			
When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University.	Ralph Wiggum			
Oh boy! Sleep! That's when I'm a Viking!	Ralph Wiggum			
When i grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar.	Ralph Wiggum			
I bent my wookie.	Ralph Wiggum			
Prinskipper Skippel... Primdable Skimpsker... I found something!	Ralph Wiggum			
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.	Ralph Wiggum			
Principal Skinner, I got car sick in your office.	Ralph Wiggum			
Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!	Ralph Wiggum			
Me fail English? That's unpossible.	Ralph Wiggum			
My cat's breath smells like cat food.	Ralph Wiggum			
I dropped my popstickle in your toy chest	Ralph Wiggum			
Milhouse: Why does Bart have a comic book? Comic Book Guy: Your questions have become more redundant and annoying then the last three 'Highlander' movies.	Comic Book Guy			
But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds... Oh, I've wasted my life.	Comic Book Guy			
Bart: It's valuable, huh?! Comic Book Guy: Ooh, your powers of deduction are exceptional. I can't allow you to waste them here when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment. Go, go, for the good of the city.	Comic Book Guy			
Last night's 'Itchy and Scratchy Show' was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.	Comic Book Guy			
Stop right there! I have the only working fazer ever built. It was fired only once to keep William Shatner from making another album.	Comic Book Guy			
The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity... .	Comic Book Guy			
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.	Comic Book Guy			
That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore.	Comic Book Guy			
Hello. I am not interested in buying your house, but I would like to use your rest room, flip through your magazines, rearrange your carefully shelved items and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner. Ha! Now you know how it feels!)	Apu Na...
Hey, hey, this is not a lending library. If you're not going to buy that thing put it down or I'll blow your heads off	Apu Nahasapemapetilon			
Shiva H. Vishnu!	Apu Nahasapemapetilon			
Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by presidents 'til the cows came home! Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions!	Grandpa Simpson			
My Homer is not a communist.  He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.	Grandpa Simpson			
Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.	Grandpa Simpson