Acme-MJD

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lib/Acme/MJD.pm  view on Meta::CPAN


=head1 SEE ALSO

L<Acme::Bushisms|Acme::Bushisms>, L<Acme::Bleach|Acme::Bleach>, L<Acme::DeepThoughts|Acme::DeepThoughts>.

=cut

__DATA__
#11900 You cannot just paste code with no understanding of what is going on and expect it to work.
#11901 You can't just make shit up and expect the computer to know what you mean, Retardo!
#11902 You said it didn't work, but you didn't say what it would have done if it *had* worked.
#11903 What are you really trying to accomplish here?
#11904 Who the fuck cares which one is faster?
#11905 Now is the time in our program where you look at the manual.
#11906 Look at the error message!  Look at the error message!
#11907 Looking for a compiler bug is the strategy of LAST resort.  LAST resort.
#11908 Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
#11909 Bad programmer!  No cookie!
#11910 I see you omitted $! from the error message.   It won't tell you what went wrong if you don't ask it to.
#11911 You wrote the same thing twice here.  The cardinal rule of programming is that you never ever write the same thing twice.
#11912 Evidently it's important to you to get the wrong answer as quickly as possible.

lib/Acme/MJD.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

#11934 Because this is Perl, not C.
#11935 Because this is Perl, not Lisp.
#11936 Because that's the way it is.
#11937 Because.
#11938 If you have `some weird error', the problem is probably with your frobnitzer.
#11939 Because the computer cannot read your mind.  Guess what?  I cannot read your mind *either*.
#11940 You said `It doesn't work'.  The next violation will be punished by death.
#11941 Of course it doesn't work!  That's because you don't know what you are doing!
#11942 Sure, but you have to have some understanding also.
#11943 Ah yes, and you are the first person to have noticed this bug since 1987.  Sure.
#11944 Yes, that's what it's supposed to do when you say that.
#11945 Well, what did you expect?
#11946 Perhaps you have forgotten that this is an engineering discipline, not some sort of black magic.
#11947 You know, this sort of thing is amenable to experimental observation.
#11948 Perhaps your veeblefitzer is clogged.
#11949 What happens when you try?
#11950 Now you are just being superstitious.  
#11951 Your question has exceeded the system limit for pronouns in a single sentence.  Please dereference and try again.
#11952 In my experience that is a bad strategy, because the people who ask such questions are the ones who paste the answer into their program without understanding it and then complain that it `does not work'.
#11953 Of course, this is a heuristic, which is a fancy way of saying that it doesn't work. 
#11954 If your function is written correctly, it will handle an empty array the same way as a nonempty array.
#11955 When in doubt, use brute force.
#11956 Well, it might be more intuitive that way, but it would also be useless.
#11957 Show the code.
#11958 The bug is in you, not in Perl.
#11959 Cargo-cult.
#11960 So you threw in some random punctuation for no particular reason, and then you didn't get the result you expected.  Hmmmm.
#11961 How should I know what is wrong when I haven't even seen the code?  I am not clairvoyant.
#11962 How should I know how to do what you want when you didn't say what you wanted to do?
#11963 It's easy to get the *wrong* answer in O(1) time.
#11964 I guess this just goes to show that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it.
#11999 You are a stupid asshole.  Shut the fuck up.



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