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API-ISPManager
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
A README file is required for CPAN modules since CPAN extracts the
README file from a module distribution so that people browsing the
archive can use it get an idea of the modules uses. It is usually a
good idea to provide version information here so that people can
decide whether fixes for the module are worth downloading.
INSTALLATION
To install this module type the following:
API-Intis
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API/Intis/LICENSE view on Meta::CPAN
property right claims or to contest validity of any such claims; this section has
the sole purpose of protecting the integrity of the free software distribution
system, which is implemented by public license practices. Many people have
made generous contributions to the wide range of software distributed through
that system in reliance on consistent application of that system; it is up to the
author/donor to decide if he or she is willing to distribute software through any
other system and a licensee cannot impose that choice.
This section is intended to make thoroughly clear what is believed to be a
consequence of the rest of this License.
API-Octopart
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
version or of any later version published by the Free Software
Foundation. If the Program does not specify a version number of the
GNU General Public License, you may choose any version ever published
by the Free Software Foundation.
If the Program specifies that a proxy can decide which future
versions of the GNU General Public License can be used, that proxy's
public statement of acceptance of a version permanently authorizes you
to choose that version for the Program.
Later license versions may give you additional or different
APP-REST-RestTestSuite
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that should be provided before the module is installed.
A README file is required for CPAN modules since CPAN extracts the README
file from a module distribution so that people browsing the archive
can use it to get an idea of the module's uses. It is usually a good idea
to provide version information here so that people can decide whether
fixes for the module are worth downloading.
INSTALLATION
APR-Emulate-PSGI
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
inc/Module/Install.pm view on Meta::CPAN
use File::Path ();
use vars qw{$VERSION $MAIN};
BEGIN {
# All Module::Install core packages now require synchronised versions.
# This will be used to ensure we don't accidentally load old or
# different versions of modules.
# This is not enforced yet, but will be some time in the next few
# releases once we can make sure it won't clash with custom
# Module::Install extensions.
$VERSION = '1.06';
ARCv2
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
lib/Arc.pod view on Meta::CPAN
Arc - Authenticated Remote Control v2
=head1 DESCRIPTION
ARC allows non-privileged users to run privileged commands on the server.
The server decides if the user is allowed to run this command through ACL.
This file is a part of the Perl ARCv2 module suite. ARCv2 is a
rewrite of ARC by R.Toebbicke, CERN, Switzerland in Perl.
=head1 ABSTRACT
ARGV-Struct
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
lib/ARGV/Struct.pm view on Meta::CPAN
=head1 STATUS
This module is quite experimental. I developed it while developing Paws (a
Perl AWS SDK). It has a commandline utility that needs to recollect all the
Attributes and Values for method calls, and lots of times, they get complex.
Since trying to pass params with Getopt was getting ugly as hell, I decided
that it would be better to do things in a different way, and eventually
thought it could be an independent module.
I'm publishing this module to get the idea out to the public so it can be worked
on.
ARSObject
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
lib/ARSObject.pm view on Meta::CPAN
}
sub entryNew { # New {field => value}
# (-form=>form, field=>value,...) -> {field=>value,...}
# ?'Incident Number'=>1 for 'HPD:Help Desk'
my ($s, %a) =@_;
my $f =$a{-schema} ||$a{-form} ||$a{-into} ||$a{-for};
delete @a{qw(-schema -form -from -into -for)};
local $_;
local $s->{-cmd} =($s->{-cmd} ? $s->{-cmd} .': ' : '') ."entryNew(-form=>'$f',"
lib/ARSObject.pm view on Meta::CPAN
? &{$s->{-metaid}->{$ff->{fieldId}}->{strOut}}($s,$f,$s->{-metaid}->{$ff->{fieldId}},$_=$a{$k})
: strOut($s, $f, $ff->{fieldId},$_=$a{$k})
if $s->{-strFields};
}
if ($f eq 'HPD:Help Desk') {
if ($a{'Incident Number'} && (length($a{'Incident Number'}) ==1)) {
$a{'Incident Number'} =$s->entryIns(-form=>'HPD:CFG Ticket Num Generator', 'DataTags'=>'za')
}
elsif (defined($a{'Incident Number'}) && !$a{'Incident Number'}) {
delete $a{'Incident Number'}
}
}
\%a
}
sub entryIns { # ars_CreateEntry
# (-form=>form, field=>value) -> id
# ?-echo=>1
# ?'Incident Number'=>1 for 'HPD:Help Desk'
my ($s, %a) =@_;
my $f =$a{-schema} ||$a{-form} ||$a{-into};
my $r;
print $s->cpcon("entryIns(-form=>'$f')\n")
if exists($a{-echo}) ? $a{-echo} : $s->{-echo};
lib/ARSObject.pm view on Meta::CPAN
}
($k => $v)
} keys %a;
delete $s->{-entryNo};
if ($f eq 'HPD:Help Desk') {
my $ii=schdn($s,$f,'Incident Number')->{fieldId};
$a{$ii} =$s->entryIns(-form=>'HPD:CFG Ticket Num Generator', 'DataTags'=>'za')
if length($a{$ii}) <2;
$s->{-entryNo} =$a{$ii};
$r =ARS::ars_CreateEntry($s->{-ctrl}, $f, %a)
}
ARSperl
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
example/GetFilter.pl view on Meta::CPAN
# SUBROUTINE
# ProcessActions
#
# DESCRIPTION
# this routine processes the list of actions for this filter,
# deciding what actions are defined and dumping the appropriate
# information.
#
# AUTHOR
# jeff murphy
ASNMTAP
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
applications/display-test.pl view on Meta::CPAN
if ($pagedirOrig =~ /^(?:index|test)$/ and -s "$APPLICATIONPATH/custom/cartography.pm") {
require "$APPLICATIONPATH/custom/cartography.pm";
createGifForCartography( $catalogID_uniqueKey, $statusOverlib );
}
$inIMW = inIncidentMonitoringWindow ($catalogID, $uniqueKey, $ref->{timeslot}, $ref->{startTime}, $ref->{endTime}, $ref->{endDate}, \%timeperiodID_days, \%catalogID_uKey_timeperiodID, $debug);
}
if ($dstatus ne 'OK' and $dstatus ne 'OFFLINE' and $dstatus ne 'NO DATA' and $dstatus ne 'NO TEST') {
$tempStatusMessage[$timeslot] = '<IMG SRC="'.$IMAGESURL.'/'.$statusIcon.'" WIDTH="16" HEIGHT="16" BORDER=0 title="'.$tstatus.'" alt="'.$tstatus.'"></TD><TD class="StatusMessage">'.$ref->{startTime}.'</TD><TD class="StatusMessage">'....
applications/display-test.pl view on Meta::CPAN
}
}
# - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
sub inIncidentMonitoringWindow {
my ($catalogID, $uniqueKey, $timeslot, $startTime, $endTime, $endDate, $timeperiodID_days, $catalogID_uKey_timeperiodID, $debug) = @_;
my $InIMW;
my ($year, $month, $day) = split (/[-\/]/, $endDate);
ASP4-PSGI
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inc/Module/Install.pm view on Meta::CPAN
use strict 'vars';
use vars qw{$VERSION};
BEGIN {
# All Module::Install core packages now require synchronised versions.
# This will be used to ensure we don't accidentally load old or
# different versions of modules.
# This is not enforced yet, but will be some time in the next few
# releases once we can make sure it won't clash with custom
# Module::Install extensions.
$VERSION = '0.79';
ASP4
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inc/Module/Install.pm view on Meta::CPAN
use strict 'vars';
use vars qw{$VERSION};
BEGIN {
# All Module::Install core packages now require synchronised versions.
# This will be used to ensure we don't accidentally load old or
# different versions of modules.
# This is not enforced yet, but will be some time in the next few
# releases once we can make sure it won't clash with custom
# Module::Install extensions.
$VERSION = '0.79';
ASP4x-Captcha-Imager
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inc/Module/Install.pm view on Meta::CPAN
use strict 'vars';
use vars qw{$VERSION};
BEGIN {
# All Module::Install core packages now require synchronised versions.
# This will be used to ensure we don't accidentally load old or
# different versions of modules.
# This is not enforced yet, but will be some time in the next few
# releases once we can make sure it won't clash with custom
# Module::Install extensions.
$VERSION = '0.79';
ASP4x-Linker
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inc/Module/Install.pm view on Meta::CPAN
use strict 'vars';
use vars qw{$VERSION};
BEGIN {
# All Module::Install core packages now require synchronised versions.
# This will be used to ensure we don't accidentally load old or
# different versions of modules.
# This is not enforced yet, but will be some time in the next few
# releases once we can make sure it won't clash with custom
# Module::Install extensions.
$VERSION = '0.79';
ASP4x-Router
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
inc/Module/Install.pm view on Meta::CPAN
use strict 'vars';
use vars qw{$VERSION};
BEGIN {
# All Module::Install core packages now require synchronised versions.
# This will be used to ensure we don't accidentally load old or
# different versions of modules.
# This is not enforced yet, but will be some time in the next few
# releases once we can make sure it won't clash with custom
# Module::Install extensions.
$VERSION = '0.79';
AUBBC
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Fixed - in do_ubbc the line breaks was invalidating HTML for List Block elements
Improvement - in do_all_ubbc changed defining $msg each time. there could have
been a bug in past versions if an undefined variable was used after a defined message was
converted. was going to allow do_all_ubbc to pass the last message but decided
other people may see that as a bug.
Improvement - in do_all_ubbc moved if $do_flag[4] for no_bypass to a better spot
Improvement - in do_all_ubbc moved if for for_links to a better spot
AWS-CLIWrapper
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lib/AWS/CLIWrapper.pm view on Meta::CPAN
sub snowball { shift->_execute('snowball', @_) }
sub sns { shift->_execute('sns', @_) }
sub sqs { shift->_execute('sqs', @_) }
sub ssm { shift->_execute('ssm', @_) }
sub ssm_contacts { shift->_execute('ssm-contacts', @_) }
sub ssm_incidents { shift->_execute('ssm-incidents', @_) }
sub ssm_sap { shift->_execute('ssm-sap', @_) }
sub sso { shift->_execute('sso', @_) }
sub sso_admin { shift->_execute('sso-admin', @_) }
sub sso_oidc { shift->_execute('sso-oidc', @_) }
sub stepfunctions { shift->_execute('stepfunctions', @_) }
lib/AWS/CLIWrapper.pm view on Meta::CPAN
=item B<ssm>($operation:Str, $param:HashRef, %opt:Hash)
=item B<ssm_contacts>($operation:Str, $param:HashRef, %opt:Hash)
=item B<ssm_incidents>($operation:Str, $param:HashRef, %opt:Hash)
=item B<ssm_sap>($operation:Str, $param:HashRef, %opt:Hash)
=item B<sso>($operation:Str, $param:HashRef, %opt:Hash)
AWS-CloudFront
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inc/Module/Install.pm view on Meta::CPAN
use strict 'vars';
use vars qw{$VERSION};
BEGIN {
# All Module::Install core packages now require synchronised versions.
# This will be used to ensure we don't accidentally load old or
# different versions of modules.
# This is not enforced yet, but will be some time in the next few
# releases once we can make sure it won't clash with custom
# Module::Install extensions.
$VERSION = '0.79';
AWS-IP
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lib/AWS/IP.pm view on Meta::CPAN
if ($aws->is_aws_ip('50.0.0.1')
{
..
}
# get a list of all AWS cidrs
my $cidrs = $aws->get_cidrs;
for (@$cidrs)
{
...
}
# create your own ip checks
use Net::CIDR::Set;
my $ec2_cidrs = $aws->get_cidrs_by_service('EC2');
my $aws_ec2_set = Net::CIDR::Set->new( @$ec2_cidrs );
if ($aws_ec2_set->contains($ip)
{
...
}
lib/AWS/IP.pm view on Meta::CPAN
{
decode_json($self->_refresh_cache);
}
}
=head2 get_cidrs
Returns an arrayref of the L<CIDRs|http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classless_Inter-Domain_Routing> in the AWS IP address data.
=cut
sub get_cidrs
{
my ($self) = @_;
[ map { $_->{ip_prefix} } @{$self->get_raw_data->{prefixes}} ];
}
=head2 get_cidrs_by_region ($region)
Returns an arrayref of CIDRs matching the provided region.
=cut
sub get_cidrs_by_region
{
my ($self, $region) = @_;
croak 'Error must provide region' unless $region;
[ map { $_->{ip_prefix} } grep { $_->{region} eq $region } @{$self->get_raw_data->{prefixes}} ];
}
=head2 get_cidrs_by_service ($service)
Returns an arrayref of CIDRs matching the provided service (AMAZON|EC2|CLOUDFRONT|ROUTE53|ROUTE53_HEALTHCHECKS).
=cut
sub get_cidrs_by_service
{
my ($self, $service) = @_;
croak 'Error must provide service' unless $service;
[ map { $_->{ip_prefix} } grep { $_->{service} eq $service } @{$self->get_raw_data->{prefixes}} ];
AWS-Lambda-Quick
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lib/AWS/Lambda/Quick.pm view on Meta::CPAN
=head3 Create a new method
Each Lambda function we create gets its own method, which is where
AWS specifies what HTTP method it accepts (C<GET>,C<POST>,C<PUT>,
etc.) and how it decides who can access it.
This module always sets the type of method to C<ANY> (i.e. we always
call the lambda function and let it figure out what it wants to accept
or not.)
We setup the C<NONE> authentication, meaning anyone can call the API
over the internet - i.e. it's configured as a public API.
=head3 Create a new integration
Integrations are how AWS decides both where a request is routed to
and what extracted from that HTTP request is passed on and how.
We configure an AWS_PROXY integration routing to our new Lambda
function. This essentially means everything is passed "as is"
through to our handler as the first argument.
AWS-Networks
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lib/AWS/Networks.pm view on Meta::CPAN
sync_token => $self->sync_token,
networks => [ grep { $_->{ service } eq $service } @{ $self->networks } ]
);
}
has cidrs => (
is => 'ro',
isa => 'ArrayRef',
default => sub {
my ($self) = @_;
return [ map { $_->{ ip_prefix } } @{ $self->networks } ];
lib/AWS/Networks.pm view on Meta::CPAN
my $nets = AWS::Networks->new();
say $nets->sync_token->iso8601;
foreach my $cidr (@{ $nets->cidrs }){
say $cidr
}
=head1 DESCRIPTION
This module parses the official public IP network information published by Amazon Web Services at https://ip-ranges.amazonaws.com/ip-ranges.json
lib/AWS/Networks.pm view on Meta::CPAN
=head2 regions
Returns an ArrayRef of the different regions present in the current dataset
=head2 cidrs
Returns an ArrayRef with the CIDR blocks in the dataset
=head2 by_region($region)
AWS-XRay
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"version" : "0.12",
"x_authority" : "cpan:FUJIWARA",
"x_contributors" : [
"Ichinose Shogo <shogo82148@gmail.com>",
"Mohammad S Anwar <mohammad.anwar@yahoo.com>",
"Pedro Melo <melo@simplicidade.org>",
"hitode909 <hitode909@gmail.com>",
"moznion <moznion@gmail.com>",
"mutsutoshi.yoshimoto <mutsutoshi.yoshimoto@20202759n.guest.mixi.co.jp>",
"papix <mail@papix.net>"
],
AXL-Client-Simple
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inc/Module/Install.pm view on Meta::CPAN
use File::Path ();
use vars qw{$VERSION $MAIN};
BEGIN {
# All Module::Install core packages now require synchronised versions.
# This will be used to ensure we don't accidentally load old or
# different versions of modules.
# This is not enforced yet, but will be some time in the next few
# releases once we can make sure it won't clash with custom
# Module::Install extensions.
$VERSION = '1.16';
Abilities
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
lib/Abilities.pm view on Meta::CPAN
where the administrator might wish to create roles with certain actions
and associate users with the roles (more commonly called 'user groups');
for example, the admin can create an 'editor' role, giving users of this
role the ability to edit and delete posts, but not any other administrative
action. So in essence, this type of access control relieves the developer
of deciding who gets to do what and passes these decisions to the
end-user, which might actually be necessary in certain situations.
The C<Abilities> module is implemented as a L<Moo role|Moo::Role> (which makes
it compatible with L<Moose> code). In order to be able to use this mechanism,
applications must implement a user management system that will consume this role.
Ac_me-Local
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that should be provided before the module is installed.
A README file is required for CPAN modules since CPAN extracts the README
file from a module distribution so that people browsing the archive
can use it to get an idea of the module's uses. It is usually a good idea
to provide version information here so that people can decide whether
fixes for the module are worth downloading.
INSTALLATION
AcePerl
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acelib/helpsubs.c view on Meta::CPAN
}
helpFilename = helpSubjectGetFilename(subject);
/* may be NULL if file could not be found,
the registered helpOnRoutine has to cope
with this case and may decide to display an
index instead */
if (helpOnRoutine)
return ((*helpOnRoutine)(helpFilename));
Acme-123
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
property right claims or to contest validity of any such claims; this section has
the sole purpose of protecting the integrity of the free software distribution
system, which is implemented by public license practices. Many people have
made generous contributions to the wide range of software distributed through
that system in reliance on consistent application of that system; it is up to the
author/donor to decide if he or she is willing to distribute software through any
other system and a licensee cannot impose that choice.
This section is intended to make thoroughly clear what is believed to be a
consequence of the rest of this License.
Acme-24
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
%
Kim is proof that "it skips a generation".
%
When God cries, it rains. When Jack Bauer cries, acid falls from the sky.
%
When the president runs out of options he says: "Get me Jack Bauer, immediately."
%
Jack Bauer can't go behind enemy lines. The enemies are behind Jack Bauer's line.
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
Jack Bauer turns left on red.
%
Jack Bauer is the reason snakes don't have legs.
%
Jack Bauer has caused more suicides than extacy.
%
Edgar styles once gave Jack Bauer the wrong coordinates. Jack Bauer slapped him so hard he now has a lisp. Edgar Styles never gives the wrong coordinates anymore.
%
Jack Bauer's hands are illegal in every state except for one: the State of Emergency.
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
There's only one real reason why Jack Bauer is going after his family in Season 6: It is time to purify the bloodline.
%
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's in English, thank Jack Bauer... for not killing your teacher.
%
Jack Bauer pours water into acids.
%
If you shoot Jack Bauer in a dream, you'd better wake up and apologize.
%
Jack Bauer didn't quit smoking. He just quit smoking cigarettes. Non-filtered wasn't strong enough, so he moved on to exhaust pipes.
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
If Jack Bauer needs backup, he looks in a mirror.
%
Jack Bauer's action figure has slept with more women than most men.
%
Withholding information from Jack Bauer is now classified as a suicide attempt.
%
Crosswalks weren't made for Jack Bauer, if a car doesn't stop for him, the car loses.
%
By Season 8 of 24, Jack Bauer will have taken more human lives than he has saved. Whoever's left will throw a party to commemorate the occasion.
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
When the kids born in the twenty first century grow up they will not have heroes, but rather Jack Bauers. Jack Bauer is the only hero.
%
When Jack Bauer plays dodgeball, the ball dodges Jack Bauer.
%
The original line in "Gladiator" was "Unleash Jack Bauer," but Ridley Scott decided that audiences could not handle that kind of mayhem, so they toned it down to "Unleash Hell."
%
Bauerize (also Bauerise) v.
1. The act destroying someone or something in a dramatic fashion in order to save the country or the world. "The terrorist was Bauerized."
%
Jack Bauer is the reason the housewives are desperate.
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
Jack Bauer got all the Noble Gases to bond together.
%
Jack Bauer saved money on his car insurance by torturing the gecko.
%
CTU was originally comprised of one man: Jack Bauer. He decided to let other people work there too, but only because he wanted to help lower unemployment rates. He doesn't need the help, thank you very much.
%
Jack Bauer is a complicated man, and no one understands him but his woman. Thanks to Nina Meyers, no one understands him.
%
Quetin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent.
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
Jack Bauer had sex with every woman in Africa and still didn't get AIDS.
%
Jack Bauer thinks protocol means "To kill". Now it does.
%
In the Season 5 prequel on the Season 4 DVD, Jack Bauer has long, Jesus like hair. Coincidence? I think not.
%
Jack Bauer can drink a beer and piss it simultaneously.
%
7/11's are open 24 hours a day just in case Jack Bauer stops by for a microwave burrito.
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
There are a few phrases that Jack Bauer can utter to you that mean death. They are "You have to trust me" and "You are the only one who can do this." While death isn't instant, it is inevitable.
%
Jack Bauer was only wrong once, and that was when he thought he was wrong, but he was actually right.
%
Jack Bauer is better at killing terrorists than suicide bombers.
%
Jack Bauer could side with terrorists almost as smart as him and take over the world, but that would be to easy. He'd rather work for a bunch of retards and still manage to save the world.
%
Whenever your electricity goes off its not because there has been a power cut, its because Jack Bauer is torturing someone.
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
Jack Bauer once met Jason, Micheal Myers, and Freddy Kruger in a dark ally. They killed themselves before Jack did it for them.
%
Jack Bauer invented Everclear because Listerine wasn't good enough to gargle.
%
When Jack Bauer was born, terrorists began suicide bombing.
%
When Jack Bauer eats Taco Bell, he feels fine and the entire country of Mexico has violent diarrhea.
%
After having sex with your wife, apologize for not being Jack Bauer.
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
If Jack Bauer had been on Oceanic 815 there would no Lost.
%
Whenever Jack Bauer, Tony Almeida and David Palmer are all
in Los Angeles at the same time, something goes wrong.
%
The Raiders moved back to Oakland because Jack Bauer decided that the L. A. Coliseum would be better used for a gunfight with terrorists.
%
A man once said "Give me liberty or give me death." Jack Bauer gave him death.
%
Jack Bauer signs his autograph with bullets. So don't ask him to sign any part of your body.
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
Radiation needs a Jack Bauer suit.
%
Jack Bauer doesn't need a kevlar vest to stop bullets. That's what key witnesses are for.
%
The original cut of Peter Jackson's King Kong included a scene where Jack Bauer body slams King Kong through the Empire State Building. Peter Jackson later decided to cut this scene because it made Kong look "weak." Jack Bauer is on his way to go v...
%
Jack Bauer doesn't hide and go seek. He seeks and destroys.
%
When Jack Bauer is in your dream they are wet dreams... but after these dreams you don't wake up, you are found in a pool of blood.
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jack Bauer thought they were fetching nukes so he killed them both and assumed the other Jack's identity.
%
The producers of 24 force Jack Bauer to use a stunt double. Not to ensure Jack's safety but to ensure the safety of the set and it's actors.
%
Jack Bauer got his ear pierced once not because he though it was cool, but because he decided it was cool.
%
Jack Bauer's buddylist contains the name and location of every known terrorist, but rather than getting online, he likes to figure it out on his own.
%
Paul Revere's message was actually a secret code for "Jack Bauer is coming! Jack Bauer is coming!"
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
If Jack Bauer were to screw hot babes (ex. Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Anniston, and Paris Hilton.) I can assure you that that their acting careers will no longer prosper due to the fact that they will spend the rest of t...
%
Contrary to popular belief, the clock noise on "24" isn't recorded. It's a live feed from Jack Bauer's heart.
%
Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer.
%
To prove a point, Jack Bauer lit Schindler’s actual list on fire.
%
70% of the Earth is covered by land. The other 30% is covered by Jack Bauer.
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
Instead of tickling Elmo, Jack Bauer shot him.
%
Consenting to be Jack Bauer's partner automatically makes your life insurance null and void.
%
James Bond commited suicide once he realized he had the same initials as Jack Bauer. He took the easy way out.
%
In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life?
%
A country song about Jack Bauer would still kick ass.
%
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
%
Jack Bauer does not use condoms. He does not need to. His sperm is so fast and strong they would simultaneously fertilize and destroy any egg.
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Marines are often refered to as Alpha Company because they begin things. Jack Bauer is known as Omega Company because he ends them.
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Jack Bauer doesn't have time to wear a seat belt. It is much more time-efficient for him to simply shoot anything that might cause an accident.
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The "Burning Bush" was Jack Bauer telling Moses what to do.
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Jack never played hide and seek as a child. Instead he played seek and afflict pain on whoever he needed to in order to get the information he wanted. Jack still enjoys rousing rounds of this game and remains undefeated.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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While imprisoned in China, they made him play Russian Roulette with a shot gun. Jack won.
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After each day of saving the world, Jack visits the cemetery to leave a bouquet of flowers at Teri's grave and empty a clip into Nina's.
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Every guy that dates Jack's daughter Kim looses a limb. Coincidence? I think not.
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Never use the phrase, "I feel half dead," around Jack Bauer; he never leaves a job unfinished.
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If Jack Bauer was at your party, it would be the longest day of your life.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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When Jack Bauer deals blackjack, he doesn't have to stand on 17.
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When Jack Bauer took a stress test, the test failed.
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If you're comtemplating suicide, instead of shooting yourself, fuck with Tony Almaeda and let Jack Bauer solve your problems.
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When Jack Bauer eats at Hooters, he takes his waitress home - for dessert.
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When 24: The Game is released, thousands of terrorists will buy it just to learn Jack Bauer's weaknesses. Fortunately for Jack, he is always invincible. They wanted to make the game life-like.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Did you ever see the documentary of when Jack Bauer took a day off? It's called "Black Hawk Down".
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Jack Bauer doesn't need to say goodbye when he hangs up. Everyone knows when he's finished talking.
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George Mason once called Jack Bauer a "stupid chump." Years later he died in a nuclear blast. This is no coincidence.
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Jack Bauer's hotness is responsible for global warming.
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The islamic word for death is "shamalamahmohammadjihad." The literal english translation of this is "Jack Bauer."
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Executing your boss, cutting off your partner's hand with an axe and torturing your girlfriend's husband are just some of the perks Jack loves about his job.
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Jack Bauer really enjoys a good steak. When he is asked how he wants it prepared, Jack simply walks into the kitchen and takes a bite out of the cow. He then returns to his seat and dabs his face with the napkin. This is usually followed by a Snapple...
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After 20 months of excruciating Chinese captivity, a 15-hour plane ride and 5 minutes of being handcuffed to a metal grate, a car holding a murderous terrorist leader who wanted revenge on Jack appeared, with a legion of suicide bombers and an arsena...
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A Zen student once asked his master: "Does Jack Bauer seek enlightenment?" To which the Zen master replied "No, enlightenment seeks Jack Bauer." At that moment, the student became enlightened.
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Thomas Jefferson once said, "An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his fellow citizens". He never met Jack Bauer.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Jack Bauer once grew a beard to rival that of Chuck Norris. In the only episode of 24 where Jack has that beard, he shot a man through his heart and cut his head off. He then shaved that beard to show up Chuck. What has your beard done lately, Norris...
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What an ego. Donald Sutherland claims to be the father of Jack Bauer.
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Jack decided to make Dirty Harry's day.
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Jack Bauer's first job was as a waiter, he was fired soon after. Jack Bauer takes orders from no one.
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Jack Bauer didn't really need a hacksaw.
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If you sit at a poker game with Jack Bauer, look around the table, and can't decide who the sucker is, you're probably dead now.
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Jack Bauer can eat 7 Saltines in a minute and then wash them down with a gallon of milk.
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Jack Bauer kills more people per day than cancer.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Jack Bauer tortured and killed Winnie The Pooh because he hid his honey in a tree that was next door to the place where the friend of a daughter of a coworker of a terrorist had her car washed. Jack just wanted to be thorough.
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Jack Bauer wanted a pet, so he borrowed Seigfried and Roy's.
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Its no coincidence that Jack Bauer rhymes with power.
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Jack Bauer’s healing factor is so powerful he doesn’t brush his teeth at night. Jack Bauer just punches all his teeth out his mouth and grows a new set by next morning.
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At age 7, Jack Bauer grew tired of urinating. After several hours of torture, Jack's bladder decided that it would be best to never be heard from again.
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Jack Bauer always wins Pong in one move.
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Jack Bauer makes Chuck Norris look like he belongs hosting The View.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Jack Bauer cried in his car like a little girl. However he killed 782 people before this and therefore is a man.
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Jack Bauer saved Private Ryan.
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When humans trip on acid, it alters their perceptions of reality. When Jack Bauer trips on acid, it alters reality.
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If you're Jack Bauer's boss, you probably won't be when the day is over.
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When Jack Bauer sees a crime, he doesn't call for backup; he calls a coroner.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Having sex with Jack Bauer has also been called "Lethal Injection."
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Jack Bauer's hairline is registered as a deadly weapon.
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In 2003, the suicide rate for dentists reached 45.9%, an all time high. That's because in 2003, Jack Bauer had a cavity.
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Vampires dress up as Jack Bauer for Halloween.
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Ashton Kutcher got Punk'd by Jack Bauer.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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When 24 airs on the Spanish channel everyones lines are translated except for Jack's. The reason for this, nobody speaks for Jack Bauer.
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Why negotiate with terrorists when you can send Jack Bauer after them?
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If Jack Bauer shot you while quail hunting, it wouldn't be an accident.
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You know Jesus is really mad at you when he says "Jack Damnit!"
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Jack Bauer once stared down his own image in a mirror.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Altoids aren't too strong for Jack Bauer, he's too strong for them.
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Why does Jack Bauer run through firefights standing completely erect? Because God will not let his greatest creation die...Jack Bauer knows this.
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If Brett Favre decides to retire from Football, Jack Bauer will convince him to come back.
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Jack Bauer is on a freighter bound for China. 17 terrorists attempt to attack the US from Toronto. Coincidence?
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Jack Bauer went to the Bermuda triangle once. It disappeared.
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Jack Bauer invented a time machine for a seventh grade science fair. Why the hell else do you think dinosaurs are extinct.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Jack Bauer once stepped into quicksand. The quicksand couldn't escape and nearly drowned.
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GWB wasnt lying about the war with Iraq, it was to find the weapons of mass destruction. It was to retrieve Jack Bauer from Iraq, the war was a cover up for all the destruction he left behind.
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When Jack learned that Audrey was killed in a car accident in China, one billion asians crapped their pants.
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Jack Bauer once went hunting. Alabama is now mounted on his wall.
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The cartoon that the Muslims are so angry about is really a drawing of Jack Bauer.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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When she was 5, Kim Bauer was stung by a bee. Jack Bauer spent the next 24 hours tracking down the bee and infiltrating the hive. After stuffing a towel down the throat of the perpetrator, he shot up the entire hive and murdered the queen.
This scene was later recreated during Season One of 24. The bee was played by Dennis Hopper.
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A long time ago a man disrespected Jack Bauer; coincidentally, that man was found dead the next day with two bullets in his chest, his hand chopped off, and a towel lodged deep down his throat.
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Jack Bauer wouldnt need a hydrolic press, he could kill a terminator with his bare hands.
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Contrary to popular belief, Kobe Bryant did not get Shaquille O'Neal traded to the Miami Heat. In fact, Shaq asked to be traded as far away from L.A. as possible, fearing that Jack Bauer will see the movie "Kazaam" and think that O'Neal is Middle Eas...
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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For most people, a red light means stop. To Jack Bauer, it means go faster.
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Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.
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Had the US decided to drop Jack Bauer on Hiroshima or Nagasaki instead of the nukes, the Japanese would have had no chance to surrender, as they would have all been killed in the initial blast. The Japanese should consider themselves lucky.
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When given the choice, Japan chose the A-Bomb over Jack Bauer.
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In a fight against Vin Diesel, Jack Bauer would win with 23 hours & 59 minutes to spare.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Jack Bauer doesn't require a whole group of men to perform bukkake on you, just himself.
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If Jack Bauer says "your constitutional rights no longer apply," not even the President can overturn his decision.
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Police label anyone attacking Jack Bauer as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
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Jack Bauer regularly rips the tags off of matresses.
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Sony had Jack Bauer beta-test the 24 video game. As soon as he had Chloe widen the parameters, the game was beaten in 60 minutes.
fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
When Jack Bauer graduated from college, his parents told him he needed to get a job. After four months working at the local Sonic, Jack got fed up, quit, and created terrorism. He has had steady work at CTU ever since.
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In the last episode of fear factor, the final challenge involved a one on one stare down with Jack bauer.. Joe Rogan is still missing.
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The alphabet originally had thirty letters - until Jack Bauer decided there was "no time" for more than twenty-six.
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Jack Bauer taught Jesus how to die and then come back to life.
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When you sneeze, it's Jack Bauer's spirit punching you in the face.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are not created equal to Jack Bauer.
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Jack Bauer doesn't need a map. All roads lead to Jack Bauer.
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Jack Bauer doesn't contemplate suicide, he just does it. Every season.
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Most pilots need 5,000 feet of runway to land a plane. Jack Bauer needs 100 feet and a gun.
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Jack Bauer wears his sunglasses at night.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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When Jack Bauer says "DAMN IT," God actually damns someone.
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Jack Bauer once won a game of chess against Bobby Fischer. In one move.
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876 students got perfect scores on their SAT. Also, there are exactly 876 people in the country named Jack Bauer. Coincidence or not? You decide.
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Jack Bauer can make a man-purse look cool.
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When Jack Bauer plays Hold'em in Vegas, his pocket cards are always "bullets".
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Arnold Schwarzenegger thought he could take Jack Bauer in a fight. He ended up pregnant and they made a shitty movie about it.
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Jack Bauer once wiped out an entire Chinese restaurant because he thought there was a bomb in his fortune cookie.
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Jack Bauer didn't temporarily die from being tortured, he was getting bored of the terrorists antics and decided to take a nap before killing them.
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The real reason women love Jack Bauer: He can find the Clitoris. Always.
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It took this website's admin up to a week to post this fact. Jack Bauer would've had it up in 24 hours.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Someone once tried to stab Jack Bauer with a knife. The knife bled to death.
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Jack Bauer's penis is 3 inches, from the ground.
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Three terrorists committed suicide at Guantanamo Bay when they heard Jack Bauer was coming to interrogate the prisoners.
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If Jack Bauer were a soup, it would be called "Cream of Death"
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If Jack Bauer is in love with you, and you're married, be prepared to bury your spouse in the name of National Security.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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On the Price is Right, you can win up to $50,000 playing Plinko. Jack Bauer on the other hand, won $350,000 from Plinko.
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When Jack Bauer graduated UCLA, UCLA got a degree in Criminology and Law.
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Jack Bauer could easily stop terrorists from the minute he gets the call. He just decides to give them 24 hours from the goodness of his heart.
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Jack was trained as an anaesthetist, but failed his finals because he preferred the rapid effectiveness of the "knock-out punch".
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At the end of his life, Jack Bauer will have died a minimum of three times.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Jack Bauer sends an ambulance after he shoots your innocent wife above the kneecap. Jack Bauer has morals.
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Jack Bauer doesn't have a firewall on his PC. He has a Bauerwall. It's basically just a JPEG of Jack Bauer. No virus has ever attacked Jack Bauer's PC. Ever.
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Initially, the 2007 budget for the US Military covered Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition. After episode one of season six, it was decided the pistols and ammunition were obviously superfluous, and replaced by one travel si...
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Daylight savings time was created to give Jack Bauer an extra hour one day a year with which to kill terrorists
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If Jack Bauer was still working on the oil crew, you can be damn sure he'd be drilling in ANWR.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Jack Bauer's blood type is testosterone.
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Jack Bauer doesn't use a stunt double. Stunt doubles use Jack Bauer.
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Jack Bauer showers in acid rain.
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Jack Bauer doesn't take a dump. He leaves it.
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Jack's favorite game show is Jeopardy, because they give him the answers before he even has to ask the questions.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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Jack Bauer can tie his own straight jacket.
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Because of Jack Bauer, car dealers now offer customers an optional handle in which terrorists can be tied to while being tortured.
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Jack Bauer got in a car accident and protected his air bag.
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Jack Bauer stole lunch money from the bully.
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No matter how or when you die, the last thing you see will be Jack Bauer.
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fortune/jackbauer view on Meta::CPAN
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When Chuck Norris files his taxes, he sends in a blank return and a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes. This year, however, the IRS sent him back a picture of Jack Bauer wearing his dark sunglas...
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Jack Bauer once poked the Pillsbury Doughboy, it died.
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Mya Driscoll didn't commit suicide. The lesson: Don't fire Jack Bauer.
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Jack Bauer shaves the sights off his guns, they get in his way when he is trying to shoot.
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Acme-ARUHI-Utils
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
that should be provided before the module is installed.
A README file is required for CPAN modules since CPAN extracts the README
file from a module distribution so that people browsing the archive
can use it to get an idea of the module's uses. It is usually a good idea
to provide version information here so that people can decide whether
fixes for the module are worth downloading.
INSTALLATION
( run in 1.214 second using v1.01-cache-2.11-cpan-4505f990765 )