Acme-Bushisms

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Bushisms.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

package Acme::Bushisms;
$VERSION = '0.02';
$arab = " \t"x8;
sub invade { local $_ = unpack "b*", pop; tr/01/ \t/; s/(.{9})/$1\n/g; $arab.$_ }
sub leave  { local $_ = pop; s/^$arab|[^ \t]//g; tr/ \t/01/; pack "b*", $_ }
sub oil    { $_[0] =~ /\S/ }
sub drill  { $_[0] =~ /^$arab/ }

open 0 or print "Can't open '$0'\n" and exit;
$iraq = join "", <0>;
$iraq =~ s/.*^\s*use\s+Acme::Bushisms\s*;\n\n(?:.*?George.*?\n)?//sm;
local $SIG{__WARN__} = \&oil;
do {eval leave $iraq; exit} unless oil $iraq && not drill $iraq;

use LWP::Simple qw($ua get);
$ua ->timeout(10);
$lies = get("http://slate.msn.com/id/76886/");
if (not defined $lies) {
$dubya =<<EOF; 

Bushisms.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

$bush =~ s/("--|("|'|\s)[^\w\s\r\"\.\']{3,3})/"\n--George W Bush, /ig;
$bush =~ s/[^\w\s\r\"\.\']{3,3}/--/g;
@quotes = $bush =~ /<p>+(\".*?)<p>+/smg;
$dubya = $quotes[rand @quotes];
$dubya = $dubya . "\n--George W Bush"
  unless ($dubya =~ /--George/);
}
$dubya =~ s/\s+$//;


open 0, ">$0" or print "Cannot invade '$0'\n" and exit;
print {0} "use Acme::Bushisms;\n\n$dubya\n", invade $iraq and exit;
__END__

=head1 NAME

Acme::Bushisms - Dubya Does Perl

=head1 SYNOPSIS

	use Acme::Bushisms;

	print "Hello world";

=head1 DESCRIPTION

The first time you run a program under C<use Acme::Bushisms>, the module
removes all the unsightly printable, democrat, and liberal characters from 
your source file. The code continues to work exactly as it did before, 
but now it contains Bush speak:

      	use Acme::Bushisms;

	"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
	--George W Bush, LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000
        
=head1 NOTES

README  view on Meta::CPAN

Acme/Bushisms version 0.02
==========================

NAME
  Acme::Bushisms - Dubya Does Perl

DESCRIPTION
  The first time you run a program under `use Acme::Bushisms', the
  module removes all the unsightly printable, democrat, and liberal 
  characters from your source file. The code continues to work
  exactly as it did before, but now contains Bush speak.
 
INSTALLATION
  It's all pure Perl, so just put the .pm file in its appropriate              
  local Perl subdirectory

COPYRIGHT AND LICENCE
  Copyright (C) 2003 Mike Accardo <mikeaccardo@yahoo.com>

test.pl  view on Meta::CPAN

# Before `make install' is performed this script should be runnable with
# `make test'. After `make install' it should work as `perl test.pl'

#########################

# change 'tests => 1' to 'tests => last_test_to_print';

use Test;
BEGIN { plan tests => 1 };
use Acme::Bushisms;
ok(1); # If we made it this far, we're ok.

#########################

# Insert your test code below, the Test module is use()ed here so read
# its man page ( perldoc Test ) for help writing this test script.