Acme-ConspiracyTheory-Random
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SEE ALSOREDACTEDAUTHORToby Inkster <tobyink@cpan.org>.CONTRIBUTORSAlex Jones discovered that there are secretly other people who havecontributed to this module but Toby Inkster is workingwithMicrosoft andthe Illuminati to cover it up. I tried to blog about it but allmypostskeep getting taken down from Tumblr. There are hidden clues on GitHubutors>. You don't want to know how deep this rabbit hole goes!COPYRIGHT AND LICENCEThis software is copyright (c) 2021 by Toby Inkster.This is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify it under thesame terms as the Perl 5 programming languagesystemitself.
@prefixdc: <http://purl.org/dc/terms/> .@prefixfoaf: <http://xmlns.com/foaf/0.1/> .dc:title"the same terms as the perl 5 programming language system itself".a doap:Project;dc:contributor <http://purl.org/NET/cpan-uri/person/tobyink>;
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
}subinvention {my$redstring=shift// {};my$invention= _RANDOM_(['the internet', 0],['cryptocurrencies', 1],['smartphones', 1],['bitcoin', 0],['blockchain technology', 0],['ChatGPT', 0],);_MERGE_($redstring,invention=>$invention->[0],invention_plural=>$invention->[1], );return$invention->[0];}subshady_project {my$redstring=shift// {};my$x= _RANDOM_('Project Blue Beam','The Plan','the Global Warming Hoax','the New Chronology','the Great Replacement','the Great Reset','the LGBT Agenda','the Kalergi Plan','Eurabia','the moon-landing hoax','the LGBT+ agenda',);_MERGE_($redstring,shady_project=>$x);
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
'Albert Einstein','Isaac Newton','Stephen Hawking','Henry Cavendish',);_MERGE_($redstring,physicist=>$x);return$x;}subbiologist {# and medicsmy$redstring=shift// {};my$x= _RANDOM_('Charles Darwin','Edward Jenner','Robert Koch','Carl Linneaus','Alexander Fleming','Dr Fauci',);_MERGE_($redstring,biologist=>$x);return$x;}subwebsite {my$redstring=shift// {};my$x= _RANDOM_('Tumblr','Pinterest','Youtube',
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
subclone {my$redstring=shift// {};my$x= _RANDOM_('an actor','an alien','an avatar','a CGI replica','a clone','a cyborg','a hologram','an impersonator','a look-alike','a robot','a shapeshifter',);_MERGE_($redstring,clone=>$x);return$x;}
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
if(my$dl=$redstring->{dark_lord} ) {push@x, ("$dl is known to be growing in power","$dl has never seemed more powerful","$dl needs to be getting power from somewhere","$dl told me","I have seen signs from $dl",);}if(my$v=$redstring->{victim} //$redstring->{physicist} //$redstring->{biologist} ) {push@x, ("$v died too young","$v sent a letter containing the truth before dying",sub{my$clone= clone($redstring);"when they did an autopsy on $v it turned out it was $clone",},"they never did an autopsy on $v","$v wrote a will",sub{my$g= shady_group($redstring);"$v was secretly one of $g";},sub{my$animal= real_animal($redstring);"when they did an autopsy on $v it turned out they were secretly a $animal in a human suit";},);}if(my$v=$redstring->{physicist} //$redstring->{biologist} ) {push@x, ("$v isn't mentioned in Aristotle's writing","$v hasn't given a lecture in months","$v isn't taken seriously by TRUE SCIENTISTS",);}if(my$c=$redstring->{celebrity} ) {if($c->{female} ) {push@x, (
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
push@x, ("you can't trust men","he said so on his Twitter",);}}if(my$f=$redstring->{fiction} ) {push@x, ($f->{title} ." has secret messages encoded in it with numerology",$f->{title} ." is satanic",sub{my$g= shady_group($redstring);my$has= splural($redstring->{shady_group} ) ?'have':'has';$f->{author} ." $has ties to $g";},sub{my$b= bad_place($redstring);$f->{author} ." got taken to $b for questioning";},
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
"Alex Jones says $bad $are linked to $r",);}if(my$topic=$redstring->{topic} ) {my$topicname=$topic->{name};my$have=$topic->{plural} ?'have':'has';push@x, ("there's hidden clues in the Wikipedia page about $topicname","THEY let it slip during an edit war in a Wikipedia page about $topicname","Bible numerology has clues about $topicname","the Voynich manuscript has clues about $topicname","$topicname $have always been suspicious","$topicname $have connections to THEM","nobody really understands $topicname","all my posts about $topicname keep getting taken down by Tumblr",);}if(my$p=$redstring->{random_place} //$redstring->{bad_place} ) {my$bad=$redstring->{antagonist}{name}
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
);}subhidden_truth {my$redstring=shift// {};my$truth= _RANDOM_(sub{# wrap classics in a sub so they don't come up too often_RANDOM_(sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'geology',plural=> 0 };'the Earth is flat';},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'Inner Space (1987)',plural=> 0 };'space is fake';},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'theology',plural=> 0 };'God is real';},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'Buddhism',plural=> 0 };'reincarnation is true';},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'germs',plural=> 1 };"germs aren't real";},
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
);$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'false flag operations',plural=> 1 };"$badevent was orchestrated by the US government";},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'glaciers',plural=> 1 };$redstring->{random_place} //='Greenland';"global warming is a hoax";},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'geology',plural=> 0 };'the US government knows exactly when Yellowstone will erupt';},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'cloud seeding',plural=> 0 };"the government controls the weather";},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'Snapple',plural=> 0 };"Snapple is owned by the KKK";},sub{my$disease= disease($redstring);$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'biological warfare',plural=> 0 };"$disease was developed as a bioweapon";},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'gas chambers',plural=> 1 };$redstring->{random_place} //='Germany';"the holocaust never happened";},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'fascism',plural=> 0 };$redstring->{random_place} //='Australia';
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
"the $animal originally comes from another planet";},sub{my$animal= real_animal($redstring);my$group= shady_group($redstring);my$stupid= _RANDOM_('people in costumes','animatronics','CGI','highly coordinated swarms of bees','holograms','a mirage',);"the $animal is a fake animal and is just $stupid";},sub{my$animal= fake_animal($redstring);"the $animal is a real animal";},sub{my$time= future_time($redstring);
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'water',plural=> 0 };'water is its own element';},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'geocentrism',plural=> 0 };'the sun goes round the Earth';},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'the moon',plural=> 0 };'the moon is a hologram';},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'camembert',plural=> 0 };'the moon is made of cheese';},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'the man in the moon',plural=> 0 };'the man in the moon is a real man';},sub{
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'the firmament',plural=> 0 };"there is a dome over the flat Earth";},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'Satan',plural=> 0 };'the axis of evil in the cosmic microwave background was put there by Satan';},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'the zodiac',plural=> 0 };'astrology has been scientifically verified';},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'the year of the dragon',plural=> 0 };'the Chinese zodiac can predict the future';},);my$solution= _UCFIRST_ _RANDOM_("They paid $group to kill him.","$group helped cover up the truth.",
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
"the Big Bang 'theory'","Einstein's theory of relativity",);_UCFIRST_"$physicist discovered that $fact but the scientific establishment is suppressing it because it would destroy $destruction. $solution";},sub{my$group= shady_group($redstring);$redstring->{protagonists} =$redstring->{shady_group};my$biologist= biologist($redstring);my$fact= _RANDOM_(sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'pandas',plural=> 1 };'pandas are really just fat raccoons';},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'spaghetti',plural=> 1 };"spaghetti is a type of worm";},
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'vaccines',plural=> 1 };"essential oils cure autism";},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'anger management',plural=> 0 };"wasps are just angry bees";},sub{$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'oncology',plural=> 0 };"windmills cause cancer";},sub{my$chem= chemicals($redstring);$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'honey',plural=> 0 };"$chem is killing all the bees";},sub{my$animal= real_animal($redstring);$redstring->{topic} = {name=>'space flight',plural=> 0 };
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
);my$destruction= _RANDOM_("the 'theory' of evolution",'modern medicine',"the germ theory of disease","our understanding of DNA",'creation science',);_UCFIRST_"$biologist discovered that $fact but the scientific establishment is suppressing it because it would destroy $destruction. $solution";},sub{my$group= shady_group($redstring);$redstring->{protagonists} =$redstring->{shady_group};my$have=$redstring->{protagonists}->{plural} ?'have':'has';my$place= random_place($redstring);my$how= _RANDOM_("by diverting flights to $place to a Hollywood studio",'using mirrors','by paying the UN','by talking with funny accents','by hacking satellites',);_UCFIRST_"$place is just a hologram created by $group who $have been hiding it for years $how.";},sub{my$place= random_place($redstring);my$truth1= hidden_truth($redstring);_UCFIRST_ _RANDOM_("It is common knowledge in $place that $truth1.","They teach $truth1 at schools in $place.","Everybody in $place knows that $truth1.","People in $place found out that $truth1.",
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
"$group2 were originally opposed to this but they're now in on it.","$group2 are trying to get evidence to prove it.",);}_MERGE_($redstring,base_theory=>$theory);my$evidence= evidence($redstring);$theory.=" $evidence"if$evidence;my$numerology= numerology($redstring);$theory.=" $numerology"if$numerology;_MERGE_($redstring,theory=>$theory);return$theory;}my%special_numbers= (19=> [qr/COVID/,'19 is the coronavirus number'],24=> [qr/TINTIN/,'There are 24 Tintin comics'],33=> [qr/MASON/,'33 is associated with the masons'],
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
63=> [qr/JFK|OSWALD/,'JFK was shot in 1963'],79=> [qr/GOLD/,'Gold has the atomic number 79'],81=> [qr/HIV/,'AIDS was discovered in 1981'],82=> [qr/COKE/,'Diet Coke first came out in 1982'],86=> [qr/RADON/,'The atomic number for radon is 86'],92=> [qr/URANIUM/,'The atomic number for uranium is 92'],322=> [qr/SKULL/,'Skull and Bones is Order 322'],666=> [qr/DEVIL|DEMON|SATAN/,'666 is the number of the beast'],);subnumerology {my$redstring=shift// {};my@strings= List::Util::uniq(grep{length}map{my$letters=uc($_);$letters=~ s/[^A-Z0-9]//g;$letters}map{/^(the )(.+)$/i ? $2 :$_}map{ref($_) ?grep(defined,$_->{name},$_->{shortname},$_->{title},$_->{author} ) :$_
lib/Acme/ConspiracyTheory/Random.pm view on Meta::CPAN
REDACTED=head1 AUTHORToby Inkster E<lt>tobyink@cpan.orgE<gt>.=head1 CONTRIBUTORSAlex Jones discovered that there are secretly other people who have contributedto this module but Toby Inkster is working with Microsoft and the Illuminati tocover it up. I tried to blog about it but all my posts keep getting taken downfrom Tumblr. There are hidden clues on L<GitHub|https://github.com/tobyink/p5-acme-conspiracytheory-random/graphs/contributors>.You don't want to know how deep this rabbit hole goes!=head1 COPYRIGHT AND LICENCEThis software is copyright (c) 2021 by Toby Inkster.This is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify it underthe same terms as the Perl 5 programming language system itself.
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