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boss forgot system password
bank holiday - system operating credits  not recharged
virus attack, luser responsible
waste water tank overflowed onto computer
Complete Transient Lockout
bad ether in the cables
Bogon emissions
Change in Earth's rotational speed
Cosmic ray particles crashed through the hard disk platter
Smell from unhygienic janitorial staff wrecked the tape heads
Little hamster in running wheel had coronary; waiting for replacement to be Fedexed from Wyoming
Evil dogs hypnotised the night shift
Plumber mistook routing panel for decorative wall fixture
Electricians made popcorn in the power supply
Groundskeepers stole the root password
high pressure system failure
failed trials, system needs redesigned
system has been recalled
not approved by the FCC
need to wrap system in aluminum foil to fix problem
not properly grounded, please bury computer