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LICENSE  view on Meta::CPAN

PROGRAM IS WITH YOU. SHOULD THE PROGRAM PROVE DEFECTIVE,
YOU ASSUME THE COST OF ALL NECESSARY SERVICING, REPAIR OR
CORRECTION.

12. IN NO EVENT UNLESS REQUIRED BY APPLICABLE LAW OR AGREED
TO IN WRITING WILL ANY COPYRIGHT HOLDER, OR ANY OTHER PARTY
WHO MAY MODIFY AND/OR REDISTRIBUTE THE PROGRAM AS
PERMITTED ABOVE, BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR DAMAGES, INCLUDING ANY
GENERAL, SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES
ARISING OUT OF THE USE OR INABILITY TO USE THE PROGRAM
(INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO LOSS OF DATA OR DATA BEING
RENDERED INACCURATE OR LOSSES SUSTAINED BY YOU OR THIRD
PARTIES OR A FAILURE OF THE PROGRAM TO OPERATE WITH ANY
OTHER PROGRAMS), EVEN IF SUCH HOLDER OR OTHER PARTY HAS
BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.

END OF TERMS AND CONDITIONS


---------------------------------------------------------------------------

lib/Acme/DeepThoughts.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

open 0 or print "Can't open '$0'\n" and exit;
(my $thought = join "", <0>) =~ s/.*^\s*use\s+Acme::DeepThoughts\s*;\n\n(?:.*?--\s+Jack\s+Handey.*?\n)?//sm;

local $SIG{__WARN__} = \&opaque;
do {eval deflect $thought; exit} unless opaque $thought and not deep $thought;

my $DeepThought = '';
{
    my $rand = int rand 152;
    while($rand > 0){
        $DeepThought = <DATA>;
        $rand--;
    }
    close DATA;
    chomp $DeepThought;

    require Text::Wrap;
    local $Text::Wrap::columns = 72;

    my @lines = Text::Wrap::wrap('', '', $DeepThought);

    if(length $lines[-1] < 63 ){
        $lines[-1] .= "  --  Jack Handey";
    } else {

lib/Acme/DeepThoughts.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

The full text of the license can be found in the
LICENSE file included with this module.


=head1 SEE ALSO

L<Acme::Bushisms|Acme::Bushisms>, L<Acme::Bleach|Acme::Bleach>,.

=cut

__DATA__
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather did.  Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car.
I think one way the cops could make extra money would be to hold a used murder weapons sale. Many people could really use cheap a ice pick.
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet beer would shoot out of you nose.
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clo...
I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.
It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set on fire.
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.