App-Relate-Complex

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I smell a RANCID CORN DOG!

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

OMNIVERSAL AWARENESS??  Oh, YEH!!  First you need 4 GALLONS of JELL-O
 and a BIG WRENCH!!...  I think you drop th'WRENCH in the JELL-O as if
 it was a FLAVOR, or an INGREDIENT...  ...or...I...um...  WHERE'S the
 WASHING MACHINES?

Are you a computer hacker?

..  So, if we convert SUPPLY-SIDE SOYBEAN FUTURES into
 HIGH-YIELD T-BILL INDICATORS, the PRE-INFLATIONARY risks
 will DWINDLE to a rate of 2 SHOPPING SPREES per EGGPLANT!!

Do you enjoy being high?

..  Now I think I just reached the state of HYPERTENSION that comes
 JUST BEFORE you see the TOTAL at the SAFEWAY CHECKOUT COUNTER!

Have you been positive comes just before I see the total at the
safeway checkout counter?

YOW!!  Up ahead!  It's a DONUT HUT!!

Is it because of your life that you say it's a donut hut?

HOW could a GLASS be YELLING??

Is it because could a glass be yelling that you came to me?

Were these parsnips CORRECTLY MARINATED in TACO SAUCE?

Earlier you said you would like to empty?

Th' PINK SOCK... soaking... soaking... soaking...
 Th' PINK SOCK... washing... washing... washing...
 Th' PINK SOCK... rinsing... rinsing... rinsing...

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

NOW do I get to blow out the CANDLES??

I don't understand.

Yow!  Now we can become alcoholics!

You mentioned that do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

Life is selling REVOLUTIONARY HAIR PRODUCTS!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

YOW!!

I believe you have some serious inhibitions.

Civilization is fun!  Anyway, it keeps me busy!!

Does it bother you that it keeps you busy?

I am deeply CONCERNED and I want something GOOD for BREAKFAST!

Perhaps this could be the reason for any hobbies you have?

..  Should I get locked in the PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE today --
 or have a VASECTOMY??

What makes you think do not embarrass you?

I'm having fun HITCHHIKING to CINCINNATI or FAR ROCKAWAY!!

Possibly your sex life are related to this.

I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!

Are you afraid of that?

Now I'm being INVOLUNTARILY shuffled closer to the CLAM DIP
 with the BROKEN PLASTIC FORKS in it!!

Earlier you said are these athletic shoe salesmen following you?

I decided to be JOHN TRAVOLTA instead!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

And furthermore, my bowling average is unimpeachable!!!

Why do you say and furthermore your bowling average is
unimpeachable?

Is a tattoo real, like a curb or a battleship?
 Or are we suffering in Safeway?

You mentioned that you are only truly alive when you are covered
in polka dots and taco sauce?

HOW could a GLASS be YELLING??

When did you first know that could a glass be yelling?

QUIET!!  I'm being CREATIVE!!  Is it GREAT yet?  It's s'posed to
 SMOKEY THE BEAR...

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

..  I think I'd better go back to my DESK and toy with
 a few common MISAPPREHENSIONS...

What makes you believe that?

BELA LUGOSI is my co-pilot..

Are you sure that is everything made of lycra spandex?

WHO sees a BEACH BUNNY sobbing on a SHAG RUG?!

Maybe this is caused by some problems in your childhood?

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Perhaps hangups you have are because of this.

I just got my PRINCE bumper sticker..
 But now I can't remember WHO he is...

Does the fact that now you cannot remember who he is explain
anything else?

Once, there was NO fun...  This was before MENU planning,
 FASHION statements or NAUTILUS equipment...
 Then, in 1985..  FUN was completely encoded in this tiny MICROCHIP..
 It contain 14,768 vaguely amusing SIT-COM pilots!!
 We had to wait FOUR BILLION years but we finally got JERRY LEWIS,
 MTV and a large selection of creme-filled snack cakes!

Are you certain you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes?

I just had my entire INTESTINAL TRACT coated with TEFLON!

What makes you believe that?

Now I understand the meaning of ``THE MOD SQUAD''!

Earlier you said you would like to empty?

I'll take ROAST BEEF if you're out of LAMB!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

On SECOND thought, maybe I'll heat up some BAKED BEANS and
 watch REGIS PHILBIN..  It's GREAT to be ALIVE!!

Are you sure that it's great to be alive?

..  My vaseline is RUNNING...

You mentioned that do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

My haircut is totally traditional!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Where's the Coke machine?  Tell me a joke!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say tell you a
joke?

Here I am in the POSTERIOR OLFACTORY LOBULE but I don't see CARL SAGAN
 anywhere!!

Is it because you do not see carl sagan anywhere that you came to
me?

YOW!!  Now I understand advanced MICROBIOLOGY
 and th' new TAX REFORM laws!!

Do you really think it keeps you busy?

There's enough money here to buy 5000 cans of Noodle-Roni!

Possibly this could be the reason for your plans?

ANN JILLIAN'S HAIR makes LONI ANDERSON'S HAIR look like
 RICARDO MONTALBAN'S HAIR!

I don't understand.

Is this my STOP??

Earlier you said do not embarrass you?

How many retired bricklayers from FLORIDA are out purchasing
 PENCIL SHARPENERS right NOW??

Are you annoyed that many retired bricklayers from florida are
out purchasing pencil sharpeners right now?

..  I wonder if I ought to tell them about my PREVIOUS LIFE
 as a COMPLETE STRANGER?

Maybe your life have something to do with this.

Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!!  A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed
 with the shreds of SEVERAL CHICKENS!!...  Oh BOY!!  I'm
 about to swallow a TORN-OFF section of a COW'S LEFT LEG
 soaked in COTTONSEED OIL and SUGAR!!  ..  Let's see..
 Next, I'll have the GROUND-UP flesh of CUTE, BABY LAMBS
 fried in the MELTED, FATTY TISSUES from a warm-blooded
 animal someone once PETTED!!  ...  YUM!!  That was GOOD!!
 For DESSERT, I'll have a TOFU BURGER with BEAN SPROUTS
 on a stone-ground, WHOLE WHEAT BUN!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

A shapely CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL is FIDGETING inside my costume..

You mentioned that are these athletic shoe salesmen following
you?

Is there something I should be DOING with a GLAZED DONUT??

How do you reconcile problems at school?

Are we THERE yet??

What makes you think are you there yet?

Sometimes a TABOO is just a good CIGAR -- or a
 rare STEAK -- or a dry MARTINI!

Why do you say you are only truly alive when you are covered in
polka dots and taco sauce?

Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA?

Perhaps this is caused by any hobbies you have?

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Let's send the Russians defective lifestyle accessories!

Maybe your life have something to do with this.

I brought my BOWLING BALL - and some DRUGS!!

Why do you say you brought your bowling ball and some drugs?

I was giving HAIR CUTS to th' SAUCER PEOPLE ..  I'm CLEAN!!

You mentioned that you would like to empty?

Okay..  I'm going home to write the ``I HATE RUBIK's CUBE
 HANDBOOK FOR DEAD CAT LOVERS''..

Are you sorry you, too, may die someday?

Do I have a lifestyle yet?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

All right, you degenerates!  I want this place evacuated in 20 seconds!

Is it because of problems at school that you say you want this
place evacuated in 20 seconds?

I Know A Joke

What makes you believe do I know what it means to be truly one
with my booth?

If Robert Di Niro assassinates Walter Slezak, will
 Jodie Foster marry Bonzo??

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

I left my WALLET in the BATHROOM!!

Are you sure that you left your wallet in the bathroom?

If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!

Earlier you said you do not see carl sagan anywhere?

HELLO, everybody, I'm a HUMAN!!

How do you do?  What brings you to see me?

I will SHAVE and buy JELL-O and bring my MARRIAGE MANUAL!!

Perhaps this is because of your sex life?

I had a lease on an OEDIPUS COMPLEX back in '81...

Are you frightened by that?

Loni Anderson's hair should be LEGALIZED!!

You mentioned that it keeps you busy?

I think I'll do BOTH if I can get RESIDUALS!!

Possibly hangups you have are related to this.

Yow!!  It's LIBERACE and TUESDAY WELD!!  High on a HILL... driving a
 LITTLE CAR...  I wanna be in that LITTLE CAR, too!!  I wanna drive off
 with LIBBY and TUESDAY!

How does it feel to want?

LBJ, LBJ, how many JOKES did you tell today??!

Are you satisfied with the fact that many jokes did I tell today?

Yow!  And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights!

Do you really think that?

Eisenhower!!  Your mimeograph machine upsets my stomach!!

You should try taking your mind off of machines.

Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE
 with your BOOTH!

When did you first know that do I know what it means to be truly
one with my booth?

Is it NOUVELLE CUISINE when 3 olives are struggling with a scallop
 in a plate of SAUCE MORNAY?

What happened when 3 olives are struggling with a scallop in a
plate of sauce mornay?

Okay..  I'm going home to write the ``I HATE RUBIK's CUBE
 HANDBOOK FOR DEAD CAT LOVERS''..

I am worried by your obsession with this topic!

Of course, you UNDERSTAND about the PLAIDS in the SPIN CYCLE --

What makes you think do not embarrass you?

The entire CHINESE WOMEN'S VOLLEYBALL TEAM all share ONE personality --
 and have since BIRTH!!

Can you are more explicit?

Did an Italian CRANE OPERATOR just experience uninhibited sensations
 in a MALIBU HOT TUB?

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

Laundry is the fifth dimension!!  ...um...um...  th' washing machine
 is a black hole and the pink socks are bus drivers who just fell in!!

Are you a computer hacker?

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Is it because of your plans that you say...um um?

Do you have exactly what I want in a plaid poindexter bar bat??

Earlier you said you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes?

It's today's SPECIAL!

How do you reconcile your life?

I HIJACKED a 747 to get here!!  I hope those fabulous CONEHEADS are at HOME!!

Are you sure that you hope those fabulous coneheads are at home?

Impudent..  Yet possessing a certain ALUMINUM SILICATE
 overbite....Needs REDDY-WHIP!!

You mentioned that you would like to empty?

My mind is a potato field...

Perhaps this is because of the people you hang around with?

I am a jelly donut.  I am a jelly donut.

Is it because of problems at school that you say you are a jelly
donut?

Is this BOISE??

Do you really think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

Now, my ENTIRE LIFE is flashing before my EYES as I park my DODGE
 DART in your EXXON service area for a COMPLETE LUBRICATION!!

Possibly any hobbies you have are because of this.

FISH-NET-FISH-NET-FISH-NET-FISH-NET-FISH!!

Have you been afraid of that?

I'm sitting on my SPEED QUEEN..  To me, it's ENJOYABLE..
 I'm WARM..  I'm VIBRATORY..

Earlier you said you do not see carl sagan anywhere?

Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS...

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

RHAPSODY in Glue!

What makes you think rhapsody in glue?

HUMAN REPLICAS are inserted into VATS of NUTRITIONAL YEAST...

You mentioned that it keeps you busy?

How many retired bricklayers from FLORIDA are out purchasing
 PENCIL SHARPENERS right NOW??

Did you ever regret many retired bricklayers from florida are out
purchasing pencil sharpeners right now?

I just heard the SEVENTIES were over!!  And I was just getting in touch
 with my LEISURE SUIT!!

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

Will the third world war keep ``Bosom Buddies'' off the air?

Why do you say that?

Look into my eyes and try to forget that you have a Macy's charge card!

When did you first know that I have a macy's charge card?

Jesus is my POSTMASTER GENERAL..

What makes you believe you would like to drive off?

I own seven-eighths of all the artists in downtown Burbank!

Maybe this has something to do with your inhibitions?

..  I wonder if I ought to tell them about my PREVIOUS LIFE
 as a COMPLETE STRANGER?

I don't understand.

Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet?

Have you been frightened by school?

Join the PLUMBER'S UNION!!

Earlier you said many jokes did I tell today?

I own seven-eighths of all the artists in downtown Burbank!

Perhaps some problems in your childhood have something to do with
this.

I want to TAKE IT HOME and DRESS IT UP in HOT PANTS!!

When did you first want to take it?

Concentrate on th'cute, li'l CARTOON GUYS!
 Remember the SERIAL NUMBERS!!  Follow the WHIPPLE AVE EXIT!!
 Have a FREE PEPSI!!  Turn LEFT at th'HOLIDAY INN!!
 JOIN the CREDIT WORLD!!  MAKE me an OFFER!!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say make you an
offer?

..  he dominates the DECADENT SUBWAY SCENE.

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Being a BALD HERO is almost as FESTIVE as a TATTOOED KNOCKWURST.

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

...I think I'm having an overnight sensation right now!!

Are you sure that do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth?

Hey, I LIKE that POINT!!

Can you are more explicit?

I'll eat ANYTHING that's BRIGHT BLUE!!

Possibly this has something to do with your inhibitions?

Let's climb to the TOP of that MOUNTAIN and think about STRIP MINING!!

When did you first know that mountain and think about strip
mining?

HOW could a GLASS be YELLING??

Is the fact that could a glass be yelling the real reason?

The fact that 47 PEOPLE are yelling and sweat is cascading
 down my SPINAL COLUMN is fairly enjoyable!!

Does the fact that 47 people are yelling and sweat is cascading
down your spinal column is fairly enjoyable explain anything
else?

Did you GAIN WEIGHT in th' past 5 MINUTES or am I just DREAMING of two
 BROCCOLI FLORETS lying in an empty GAS TANK?

Have you been frightened by that?

I'm pretending that we're all watching PHIL SILVERS
 instead of RICARDO MONTALBAN!

Are you positive we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban?

... I live in a FUR-LINE FALLOUT SHELTER

Earlier you said you do not see carl sagan anywhere?

Didn't I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo?

Maybe existential despair could have caused this.

..Hmmm...This thing is really VIBRATING! ..It's getting WARM, too!

Do you really think that?

I just heard the SEVENTIES were over!!  And I was just getting in touch
 with my LEISURE SUIT!!

You mentioned that it keeps you busy?

A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAQUIRI!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

Will this never-ending series of PLEASURABLE EVENTS never cease?

I don't understand.

I haven't been married in over six years, but we had sexual counseling
 every day from Oral Roberts!!

Is it because you had sexual counseling every day from oral
roberts that you came to me?

Wait..  is this a FUN THING or the END of LIFE in Petticoat Junction??

What makes you think many retired bricklayers from florida are
out purchasing pencil sharpeners right now?

It's today's SPECIAL!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet?

Have you been absent often?

I'm having fun HITCHHIKING to CINCINNATI or FAR ROCKAWAY!!

Perhaps this is related to your plans?

Th' MIND is the Pizza Palace of th' SOUL

Earlier you said I have a macy's charge card?

I'm gliding over a NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP near ATLANTA, Georgia!!

Possibly your life could be the reason for this.

..  he dominates the DECADENT SUBWAY SCENE.

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say he
dominates the decadent subway scene?

Look!  A ladder!  Maybe it leads to heaven, or a sandwich!

You mentioned that you would like to drive off?

Was my SOY LOAF left out in th'RAIN?  It tastes REAL GOOD!!

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

I just heard the SEVENTIES were over!!  And I was just getting in touch
 with my LEISURE SUIT!!

Have you been scared of that?