App-Relate-Complex

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Wednesday February 28, 2007  11:36 PM
Sometime in 1993 NANCY SINATRA will lead a BLOODLESS COUP on GUAM!!

..  bleakness....  desolation....  plastic forks...

I don't believe there really IS a GAS SHORTAGE..  I think it's all
 just a BIG HOAX on the part of the plastic sign salesmen--
 ..  to sell more numbers!!

Now I'm being INVOLUNTARILY shuffled closer to the CLAM DIP
 with the BROKEN PLASTIC FORKS in it!!

This ASIAGO-N-DRIED TOMATO combo would taste a lot better between two
 plastic SIPPER LIDS!

I am the psychotherapist.  Please, describe your problems.  Each
time you are finished talking, type RET twice.

I will establish the first SHOPPING MALL in NUTLEY, New Jersey...

Why do you say that?

This ASEXUAL PIG really BOILS my BLOOD...  He's so..so.....URGENT!!

What makes you believe he's so so urgent?

Hmmm...  an arrogant bouquet with a subtle suggestion of
 POLYVINYL CHLORIDE...

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

Did we bring enough BEEF JERKY?

Is it because of your life that you say did you bring enough beef
jerky?

My nose feels like a bad Ronald Reagan movie...

Are you sure that nose might want to have this bad ronald?

..  Like I always say -- nothing can beat the BRATWURST
 here in DUSSELDORF!!

Earlier you said nose would like to have this bad ronald?

My uncle Murray conquered Egypt in 53 B.C.  And I can prove it too!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE
 with your BOOTH!

Is it because do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth that you came to me?

Hmmm..  A hash-singer and a cross-eyed guy were SLEEPING on a deserted
 island, when...

Do you use hash often?

I'm a nuclear submarine under the polar ice cap and I need a Kleenex!

How does it feel to want?

I'm having an EMOTIONAL OUTBURST!!  But, uh, WHY is there a WAFFLE
 in my PAJAMA POCKET??

Does it bother you that uh why is there a waffle in your pajama
pocket?

BARRY..  That was the most HEART-WARMING rendition of
 ``I DID IT MY WAY'' I've ever heard!!

When did you first know that was the most heart warming rendition
of you did it your way'' you have ever heard?

Everything will be ALL RIGHT if we can just remember things about
 ALGEBRA.. or SOCCER..  or SOCIALISM..

Do you really think or socialism?

YOW!!  I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!

You mentioned that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

I predict that by 1993 everyone will live in and around LAS VEGAS and
 wear BEATLE HAIRCUTS!

Is the fact that by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts the real reason?

Is it clean in other dimensions?

How do you reconcile problems at school?

This ASEXUAL PIG really BOILS my BLOOD...  He's so..so.....URGENT!!

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say he's so so
urgent?

..I must be a VETERINARIAN..

What makes you think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

The PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY is CRYING for an END to BURT REYNOLDS movies!!

Perhaps this has something to do with your sex life?

I have nostalgia for the late Sixties!  In 1969 I left my laundry with
 a hippie!!  During an unauthorized Tupperware party it was chopped &
 diced!

I don't understand.

I had pancake makeup for brunch!

Earlier you said you used hash?

..  the MYSTERIANS are in here with my CORDUROY SOAP DISH!!

Possibly hangups you have are related to this.

Two LITTLE black dots and one BIG black dot...nice 'n' FLUFFY!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!

You mentioned that you would like to have this kleenex?

Is it FUN to be a MIDGET?

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Should I start with the time I SWITCHED personalities with a BEATNIK
 hair stylist or my failure to refer five TEENAGERS to a good OCULIST?

Are you afraid of that?

Actually, what I'd like is a little toy spaceship!!

Why do you say uh why is there a waffle in your pajama pocket?

Yow!  I forgot my PAIL!!

Maybe this is related to some problems at home?

"DARK SHADOWS" is on!!  Hey, I think the VAMPIRE forgot his UMBRELLA!!

What makes you believe hey you think the vampire forgot his
umbrella?

Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard
 -- I'm living for today!

Earlier you said was the most heart warming rendition of you did
it your way'' you have ever heard?

Vote for ME -- I'm well-tapered, half-cocked, ill-conceived and
 TAX-DEFERRED!

Perhaps your plans could have caused this.

Yow!  Now we can become alcoholics!

Is it because of your life that you say now you can become
alcoholics?

Was my SOY LOAF left out in th'RAIN?  It tastes REAL GOOD!!

You mentioned that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

Are we on STRIKE yet?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

This is my WILLIAM BENDIX memorial CORNER where I worship William
 Bendix like a GOD!!

Why should bendix get to have this god?

FIRST, I was in a TRUCK...THEN, I was in a DINER...

Are you sure that that?

I'm mentally OVERDRAWN!  What's that SIGNPOST up ahead?
 Where's ROD STERLING when you really need him?

Do you really think by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

Eisenhower!!  Your mimeograph machine upsets my stomach!!

You have your mind on machines, it seems.

With this weapon I can expose fictional characters and bring about
 sweeping reforms!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

All I can think of is a platter of organic PRUNE CRISPS being trampled
 by an army of swarthy, Italian LOUNGE SINGERS...

I don't understand.

Hey, LOOK!!  A pair of SIZE 9 CAPRI PANTS!!  They probably belong to
 SAMMY DAVIS, JR.!!

Earlier you said do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth?

YOW!!  Now I'm playing with my HOLOGRAPHIC ATOMIC SIMULATION LASER
 pinball machine!!  WORLD PEACE is in the BALANCE!!

Possibly this could be the reason for any hobbies you have?

I've read SEVEN MILLION books!!

What makes you think you have read seven million books?

FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!

You mentioned that you used hash?

Yow!  Is my fallout shelter termite proof?

Maybe your sex life could be the reason for this.

So this is what it feels like to be potato salad

When did it first desire to be potato?

I put aside my copy of ``BOWLING WORLD'' and think
 about GUN CONTROL legislation..

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

..Hmmm...This thing is really VIBRATING! ..It's getting WARM, too!

Why do you say you would like to have this kleenex?

After THIS, let's go to PHILADELPHIA and have TRIPLETS!!

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

Didn't KIERKEGAARD wear out his TIRES in VIENNA during a SNOWSTORM of
 FREUD's unpaid DENTAL BILLS?

Have you been frightened by that?

INSIDE, I have the same personality disorder as LUCY RICARDO!!

Earlier you said uh why is there a waffle in your pajama pocket?

HUMAN REPLICAS are inserted into VATS of NUTRITIONAL YEAST...

Perhaps this is caused by some problems in your childhood?

An Italian is COMBING his hair in suburban DES MOINES!

What makes you believe that?

I'm a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in Brittany

You mentioned that was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

Excuse me, but didn't I tell you there's NO HOPE for the
 survival of OFFSET PRINTING?

Does the fact that didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing explain anything else?

Is it 1974?  What's for SUPPER?  Can I spend my COLLEGE FUND in
 one wild afternoon??

Possibly some problems at home are caused by this.

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

Is it because of your plans that you say this pizza symbolizes
your complete emotional recovery?

The FALAFEL SANDWICH lands on my HEAD and I become a VEGETARIAN...

Are you sure that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

Well, I'm INVISIBLE AGAIN..  I might as well pay a visit to the
 LADIES ROOM...

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

CHUBBY CHECKER just had a CHICKEN SANDWICH in downtown DULUTH!

I don't understand.

I always have fun because I'm out of my mind!!!

Have you been sure you are out of your mind?

...Get me a GIN and TONIC!!...make it HAIR TONIC!!

Do you drink a lot of gin?

Maybe we could paint GOLDIE HAWN a rich PRUSSIAN BLUE--

Earlier you said bendix would like to have this god?

I'm receiving a coded message from EUBIE BLAKE!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Didn't KIERKEGAARD wear out his TIRES in VIENNA during a SNOWSTORM of
 FREUD's unpaid DENTAL BILLS?

Maybe this is because of problems at school?

Now that I have my ``APPLE,'' I comprehend COST ACCOUNTING!!

Is it because you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting that you came to me?

I'm pretending I'm pulling in a TROUT!  Am I doing it correctly??

You mentioned that by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

--``I love KATRINKA because she drives a PONTIAC.  We're going away now.
 I fed the cat. - Zippy''

Perhaps any hobbies you have are because of this.

I left my WALLET in the BATHROOM!!

Do you really think you left your wallet in the bathroom?

I'm ZIPPY the PINHEAD and I'm totally committed to the festive mode.

Yow!  Are we interactive yet?

I represent a sardine!!

What makes you think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

My mind is a potato field...

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

Now I'm telling MISS PIGGY about MONEY MARKET FUNDS!

Are you scared of that?

Laundry is the fifth dimension!!  ...um...um...  th' washing machine
 is a black hole and the pink socks are bus drivers who just fell in!!

You think too much about machines.

BEEP-BEEP!!  I'm a '49 STUDEBAKER!!

Earlier you said you used hash?

I just had a NOSE JOB!!

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

Hello, GORRY-O!!  I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say you are a genius
from harvard?

Either CONFESS now or we go to ``PEOPLE'S COURT''!!

You mentioned that it would like to be potato?

He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE
 inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER!  Or maybe he'd
 like to PSYCHOLOGICALLY TERRORIZE ME until I have no objection
 to a RIGHT-WING MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!!  I guess
 I should call AL PACINO!

Possibly this has something to do with some problems in your
childhood?

Just imagine you're entering a state-of-the-art CAR WASH!!

Why do you say that?

Oh, I get it!!  ``The BEACH goes on,'' huh, SONNY??

What makes you believe you would like to have this kleenex?

Th' PINK SOCK... soaking... soaking... soaking...
 Th' PINK SOCK... washing... washing... washing...
 Th' PINK SOCK... rinsing... rinsing... rinsing...

Maybe some problems at home have something to do with this.

Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!!  A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed
 with the shreds of SEVERAL CHICKENS!!...  Oh BOY!!  I'm
 about to swallow a TORN-OFF section of a COW'S LEFT LEG
 soaked in COTTONSEED OIL and SUGAR!!  ..  Let's see..
 Next, I'll have the GROUND-UP flesh of CUTE, BABY LAMBS
 fried in the MELTED, FATTY TISSUES from a warm-blooded
 animal someone once PETTED!!  ...  YUM!!  That was GOOD!!
 For DESSERT, I'll have a TOFU BURGER with BEAN SPROUTS
 on a stone-ground, WHOLE WHEAT BUN!!

I don't understand.

I want to TAKE IT HOME and DRESS IT UP in HOT PANTS!!

Have you been obsessed with to take it?

WHOA!!  I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE right NOW!!

Earlier you said uh why is there a waffle in your pajama pocket?

MY income is ALL disposable!

Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?

I'm in a twist contest!!  I'm in a bathtub!  It's on Mars!!  I'm in
 tip-top condition!

Are you sure that you are in tip top condition?

Alright, you!!  Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!

You mentioned that was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

Look DEEP into the OPENINGS!!  Do you see any ELVES or EDSELS...
 or a HIGHBALL??...

How do you reconcile your life?

Well, here I am in AMERICA..  I LIKE it.  I HATE it.
 I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE it.
 I HATE it.  I LIKE..  EMOTIONS are SWEEPING over me!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say
emotions are sweeping over you?

On SECOND thought, maybe I'll heat up some BAKED BEANS and
 watch REGIS PHILBIN..  It's GREAT to be ALIVE!!

Do you really think didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

I brought my BOWLING BALL - and some DRUGS!!

Perhaps this is related to problems at school?

..  my NOSE is NUMB!

What makes you think your nose is numb?

Youth of today!  Join me in a mass rally for traditional mental attitudes!

Earlier you said nose would like to have this bad ronald?

I just had my entire INTESTINAL TRACT coated with TEFLON!

Possibly any hobbies you have are related to this.

You should all JUMP UP AND DOWN for TWO HOURS while I decide
 on a NEW CAREER!!

What happened when you decide on a new career?

I like the IMPUDENT NOSE on that car..  Are you a TEEN-AGER?  

Is it because of your sex life that you say are me a teen ager?

You mean now I can SHOOT YOU in the back and further BLUR
 th' distinction between FANTASY and REALITY?

You mentioned that you are out of your mind?

I'm also pre-POURED pre-MEDITATED and pre-RAPHAELITE!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

Yow!  Are we laid back yet?

Why do you say are you laid back yet?

I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE..  and I don't take any DRUGS

What makes you believe bendix would like to have this god?

- if it GLISTENS, gobble it!!

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

Is it clean in other dimensions?

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say is
it clean in other dimensions?

After this, I'm going to BURN some RUBBER!!

Earlier you said you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting?

I'd like some JUNK FOOD...  and then I want to be ALONE --

Why should I give to be alone to you?

Now I'm having INSIPID THOUGHTS about the beautiful, round
 wives of HOLLYWOOD MOVIE MOGULS encased in PLEXIGLASS CARS
 and being approached by SMALL BOYS selling FRUIT..

Maybe this could be the reason for some problems at home?

It's a lot of fun being alive...  I wonder if my bed is made?!?

Are you sure that you wonder if your bed is made?

Here we are in America...  when do we collect unemployment?

What would happen if do you collect unemployment?

Are we THERE yet?

You mentioned that by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

I don't know WHY I said that..  I think it came from the FILLINGS
 in my rear molars..

Perhaps your plans could have caused this.

I'm wet!  I'm wild!

Is it because of your life that you say you are wild?

Did an Italian CRANE OPERATOR just experience uninhibited sensations
 in a MALIBU HOT TUB?

Do you really think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

Did I say I was a sardine?  Or a bus???

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?

Are you annoyed that was he mature enough last night at the
lesbian masquerade?

There's a SALE on STRETCH SOCKS down at the "7-11"!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

YOW!!  I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!

Earlier you said you used hash?

Are we THERE yet?  My MIND is a SUBMARINE!!

Possibly this is caused by any hobbies you have?

Now, my ENTIRE LIFE is flashing before my EYES as I park my DODGE
 DART in your EXXON service area for a COMPLETE LUBRICATION!!

Have you been afraid of that?

I OWN six pink HIPPOS!!

You mentioned that it would like to be potato?

Why don't you ever enter any CONTESTS, Marvin??
 Don't you know your own ZIPCODE?

What makes you think that I shouldn't I know my own zipcode?

I will establish the first SHOPPING MALL in NUTLEY, New Jersey...

Maybe your sex life could be the reason for this.

Where's SANDY DUNCAN?

Why do you say where's sandy duncan?

..  I want to perform cranial activities with Tuesday Weld!!

Have you ever gotten to perform?

First, I'm going to give you all the ANSWERS to today's test..
 So just plug in your SONY WALKMANS and relax!!

What makes you believe you would like to have this kleenex?

Yow!  Did something bad happen or am I in a drive-in movie??

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

You were s'posed to laugh!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say I was s'posed to
laugh?

...Um...Um...

Earlier you said you would like to take it?

I think I am an overnight sensation right now!!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Yow!  Maybe I should have asked for my Neutron Bomb in PAISLEY--

Are you sure that that?

By MEER biz doo SCHOIN..

You mentioned that uh why is there a waffle in your pajama
pocket?

My FAVORITE group is "QUESTION MARK & THE MYSTERIANS"...

Perhaps this is because of some problems at home?

Where does it go when you flush?

What happened when I flush?

Why was I BORN?

When did you first know that was you born?

YOW!!  I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!

I don't understand.

Yow!  Now I get to think about all the BAD THINGS I did to a BOWLING BALL
 when I was in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL!

Tell me about your school.

..Am I in a SOAP OPERA??

Do you really think was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

I just got my PRINCE bumper sticker..
 But now I can't remember WHO he is...

Is the fact that now you cannot remember who he is the real
reason?

LIFE is a never-ending INFORMERCIAL!

Possibly your plans are caused by this.

I've been WRITING to SOPHIA LOREN every 45 MINUTES since JANUARY 1ST!!

What would happen if january 1st?

..I must be a VETERINARIAN..

What makes you think..i must be a veterinarian?

Is this an out-take from the ``BRADY BUNCH''?

Earlier you said didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

This TOPS OFF my partygoing experience!  Someone I DON'T LIKE
 is talking to me about a HEART-WARMING European film..

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

My FAVORITE group is "QUESTION MARK & THE MYSTERIANS"...

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say
your favorite group is question mark the mysterians?

Join the PLUMBER'S UNION!!

You mentioned that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

I'm ANN LANDERS!!  I can SHOPLIFT!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

I am a jelly donut.  I am a jelly donut.

Why do you say you are a jelly donut?

Isn't this my STOP?!

What makes you believe you are out of your mind?

Yow!  I'm out of work...I could go into shock absorbers...or SCUBA
 GEAR!!

Maybe this has something to do with any hobbies you have?

I'm continually AMAZED at th'breathtaking effects of WIND EROSION!!

Perhaps your sex life are because of this.

--- I have seen the FUN ---

Earlier you said bendix would like to have this god?

I always liked FLAG DAY!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

Uh-oh --  WHY am I suddenly thinking of a VENERABLE religious leader
 frolicking on a FORT LAUDERDALE weekend?

Does the fact that are you suddenly thinking of a venerable
religious leader frolicking on a fort lauderdale weekend explain
anything else?

Yow!  And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights!

Are you frightened by that?

I HAVE to buy a new ``DODGE MISER'' and two dozen JORDACHE
 JEANS because my viewscreen is ``USER-FRIENDLY''!!

Have you been positive your viewscreen is user friendly''?

It's the RINSE CYCLE!!  They've ALL IGNORED the RINSE CYCLE!!

You mentioned that you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting?

But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?

Is it because was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade that you came to me?

I know th'MAMBO!!  I have a TWO-TONE CHEMISTRY SET!!

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

With YOU, I can be MYSELF..  We don't NEED Dan Rather..

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say you
do not need dan rather?

Then, it's off to RED CHINA!!

Are you sure that you would like to be alone?

YOU!!  Give me the CUTEST, PINKEST, most charming little
 VICTORIAN DOLLHOUSE you can find!!  An make it SNAPPY!!

Possibly this is related to some problems at home?

Should I start with the time I SWITCHED personalities with a BEATNIK
 hair stylist or my failure to refer five TEENAGERS to a good OCULIST?

Do you really think that?

..  I don't understand the HUMOR of the THREE STOOGES!!

Earlier you said by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

..  Now KEN and BARBIE are PERMANENTLY ADDICTED to MIND-ALTERING DRUGS..

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

My face is new, my license is expired, and I'm under a doctor's care!!!!

I don't understand.

Is the EIGHTIES when they had ART DECO and GERALD McBOING-BOING lunch
 boxes??

What happened when they had art deco and gerald mcboing boing
lunch boxes?

Zippy's brain cells are straining to bridge synapses...

You mentioned that do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

If I am elected no one will ever have to do their laundry again!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

I feel like I'm in a Toilet Bowl with a thumbtack in my forehead!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Here I am at the flea market but nobody is buying
 my urine sample bottles..

Did you ever regret nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

I feel partially hydrogenated!

What makes you think was he mature enough last night at the
lesbian masquerade?

O.K.!  Speak with a PHILADELPHIA ACCENT!!  Send out for CHINESE FOOD!!
 Hop a JET!

Perhaps this could be the reason for problems at school?

Don't hit me!!  I'm in the Twilight Zone!!!

Why do you say you are in the twilight zone?

I hope I bought the right relish...  zzzzzzzzz...

Can you elaborate on that?

Yow!  Am I in Milwaukee?

Earlier you said you used hash?

Sometimes a TABOO is just a good CIGAR -- or a
 rare STEAK -- or a dry MARTINI!

Possibly any hobbies you have are related to this.

Did an Italian CRANE OPERATOR just experience uninhibited sensations
 in a MALIBU HOT TUB?

Have you been scared of that?

RELATIVES!!

I would appreciate it if you would continue.

I selected E5...  but I didn't hear ``Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs''!

When did you first know that you didn't hear sam the sham and the
pharaohs''?

I joined scientology at a garage sale!!

You mentioned that it would like to be potato?

UH-OH!!  I think KEN is OVER-DUE on his R.V. PAYMENTS and HE'S
 having a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN too!!  Ha ha.

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

I'm ANN LANDERS!!  I can SHOPLIFT!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you say you can shoplift?

--Hello, POLICE?  I"ve got ABBOTT & COSTELLO here on suspicion of
 HIGHWAY ROBBERY!!

What makes you believe you would like to perform?

TAPPING?  You POLITICIANS!  Don't you realize that the END of the
 ``Wash Cycle'' is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?!

Are you sure that that I shouldn't me realize that the end of the
wash cycle'' is a treasured moment for most people?

I LOVE juxtaposing th' splendor of an unpopulated ARROYO with
 th' SLEEK lines of ``NARCISSUS-X'', my new SPORTS UTILITY VEHICLE!

Perhaps you could talk about your relationship with juxtaposing.

Yow!  I forgot my PAIL!!

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

I joined scientology at a garage sale!!

Do you really think you joined scientology at a garage sale?

Ask me the DIFFERENCE between PHIL SILVERS and ALEXANDER HAIG!!

Earlier you said you would like to have this kleenex?

Somewhere in DOWNTOWN BURBANK a prostitute is OVERCOOKING a LAMB CHOP!!

Are you afraid of sex?

I'm in ATLANTIC CITY riding in a comfortable ROLLING CHAIR...

Maybe this is caused by some problems in your childhood?

O.K.!  Speak with a PHILADELPHIA ACCENT!!  Send out for CHINESE FOOD!!
 Hop a JET!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say hop a jet?

Where's my SOCIAL WORKER?

You mentioned that you would like to take it?

I want a VEGETARIAN BURRITO to go..  with EXTRA MSG!!

Perhaps your plans could have caused this.

I'm wearing PAMPERS!!

What makes you think you are wearing pampers?

Yow!  Are we in the perfect mood?

Why do you say uh why is there a waffle in your pajama pocket?

...A housewife is wearing a polypyrene jumpsuit!!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

Join the PLUMBER'S UNION!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say
join the plumber's union?

Now, I think it would be GOOD to buy FIVE or SIX STUDEBAKERS
 and CRUISE for ARTIFICIAL FLAVORING!!

Earlier you said was you born?

Now I need a suntan, a tennis lesson, Annette Funicello and two dozen
 Day-Glo orange paper jumpsuits!!

What makes you believe you might wish to have this suntan?

I'm a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in Brittany

How do you reconcile problems at school?

I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers!

Are you sure that that?

How's the wife?  Is she at home enjoying capitalism?

You mentioned that was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

TAILFINS!!  ...click...

Go on, don't be afraid.

My DIGITAL WATCH has an automatic SNOOZE FEATURE!!

Possibly this is because of any hobbies you have?

Hello, GORRY-O!!  I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!

Do you really think you are a genius from harvard?

HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes town, family STICKERED to death!

How do you do?  What brings you to see me?

I know th'MAMBO!!  I have a TWO-TONE CHEMISTRY SET!!

What makes you think now you cannot remember who he is?

Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard
 -- I'm living for today!

Maybe your sex life could be the reason for this.

..I'll make you an ASHTRAY!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you say..i'll make me an
ashtray?

KARL MALDEN'S NOSE just won an ACADEMY AWARD!!

Earlier you said didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

Where does it go when you flush?

What would happen if I flush?

Are you guys lined up for the METHADONE PROGRAM or FOOD STAMPS??

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

TATTOOED MIDGETS are using ALFREDO in their SALAMI FACTORY!

I don't understand.

It's NO USE..  I've gone to ``CLUB MED''!!

You mentioned that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

Is this BOISE??

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

I'm having a BIG BANG THEORY!!

Why do you say you are having a big bang theory?

I used to be a FUNDAMENTALIST, but then I heard about the
 HIGH RADIATION LEVELS and bought an ENCYCLOPEDIA!!

Is the fact that then you heard about the high radiation levels
and bought an encyclopedia the real reason?

..  here I am in 53 B.C. and all I want is a dill pickle!!

What makes you believe you are out of your mind?

Just imagine you're entering a state-of-the-art CAR WASH!!

Perhaps this has something to do with some problems at home?

What PROGRAM are they watching?

Is it because of your plans that you say what program are they
watching?

As President I have to go vacuum my coin collection!

Earlier you said bendix would like to have this god?

Didn't I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo?

Possibly your life are caused by this.

They don't hire PERSONAL PINHEADS, Mr. Toad!

Are you sure that they do not hire personal pinheads mr toad?

Are we THERE yet??

You mentioned that are you suddenly thinking of a venerable
religious leader frolicking on a fort lauderdale weekend?

OVER the undertow!  UNDER the overpass!  Around the FUTURE
 and BEYOND REPAIR!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

Now I'm having INSIPID THOUGHTS about the beautiful, round
 wives of HOLLYWOOD MOVIE MOGULS encased in PLEXIGLASS CARS
 and being approached by SMALL BOYS selling FRUIT..

How do you reconcile problems at school?

..  the MYSTERIANS are in here with my CORDUROY SOAP DISH!!

Do you really think your viewscreen is user friendly''?

Yow!  STYROFOAM..

I need a little more detail please.

Okay, BARBRA STREISAND, I recognize you now!!  Also EFREM ZIMBALIST,
 JUNIOR!!  And BEAUMONT NEWHALL!!  Everybody into th' BATHROOM!

Maybe this is related to any hobbies you have?

I like the IMPUDENT NOSE on that car..  Are you a TEEN-AGER?  

Is it because of your sex life that you say are me a teen ager?

I'm EXCITED!!  I want a FLANK STEAK WEEK-END!!  I think I'm JULIA
 CHILD!!

Earlier you said you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting?

I know things about TROY DONAHUE that can't even be PRINTED!!

Does the fact that cannot even be printed explain anything else?

I'm also against BODY-SURFING!!

Perhaps hangups you have are because of this.

All of life is a blur of Republicans and meat!

Have you been frightened by that?

An INK-LING?  Sure -- TAKE one!!  Did you BUY any COMMUNIST UNIFORMS??

You mentioned that was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

DIDI...  is that a MARTIAN name, or, are we in ISRAEL?

Have you been certain a martian name or are you in israel?

Don't worry, nobody really LISTENS to lectures in MOSCOW, either!
 ..  FRENCH, HISTORY, ADVANCED CALCULUS, COMPUTER PROGRAMMING,
 BLACK STUDIES, SOCIOBIOLOGY!..  Are there any QUESTIONS??

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

I demand IMPUNITY!

What makes you think you demand impunity?

My EARS are GONE!!

Why do you say you would like to be alone?

Did you GAIN WEIGHT in th' past 5 MINUTES or am I just DREAMING of two
 BROCCOLI FLORETS lying in an empty GAS TANK?

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

I've read SEVEN MILLION books!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say you have read
seven million books?

Alright, you!!  Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!

Earlier you said by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers!

Possibly this could be the reason for your plans?

NOT fucking!! Also not a PACKAGE of LOOSE-LEAF PAPER!!

Discuss something about your sexual history.

I'm working under the direct orders of WAYNE NEWTON to deport
 consenting adults!

What makes you believe that?

...Just enough time to do my LIBERACE impression...

You mentioned that do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

..I must be a VETERINARIAN..

Maybe your life have something to do with this.

Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS...

Are you sure that hold the mayo pass the cosmic awareness?

YOW!  I can see 1987!!  PRESIDENT FORD is doing the REMAKE of "PAGAN
 LOVE SONG"...he's playing ESTHER WILLIAMS!!

Are you sorry pagan loves someone?

..The TENSION mounts as I MASSAGE your RIGHT ANKLE according to
 ancient Tibetan ACCOUNTING PROCEDURES..are you NEUROTIC yet??

Do you really think nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

I wonder if I could ever get started in the credit world?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

Yow!  Is this sexual intercourse yet??  Is it, huh, is it??

Is it because of problems at school that you say is it huh is it?

My LESLIE GORE record is BROKEN..

Earlier you said was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

OMNIVERSAL AWARENESS??  Oh, YEH!!  First you need 4 GALLONS of JELL-O
 and a BIG WRENCH!!...  I think you drop th'WRENCH in the JELL-O as if
 it was a FLAVOR, or an INGREDIENT...  ...or...I...um...  WHERE'S the
 WASHING MACHINES?

You should try taking your mind off of machines.

I hope you millionaires are having fun!  I just invested half
 your life savings in yeast!!

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

Is this my STOP??

What makes you think is this your stop?

Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE
 with your BOOTH!

Is it because do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth that you came to me?

I Know A Joke

You mentioned that you used hash?

Yow!  I'm UNEMPLOYED!

Perhaps this is caused by your sex life?

Yow!  Is this sexual intercourse yet??  Is it, huh, is it??

Is it because of hangups you have that you say is it huh is it?

I'm receiving a coded message from EUBIE BLAKE!!

Why do you say you didn't hear sam the sham and the pharaohs''?

It's 74 degrees, 12 minutes NORTH, and 41 degrees, 3 minutes EAST!!
 Soon, it will be TUESDAY!!

Possibly your inhibitions are related to this.

I hope something GOOD came in the mail today so I have
 a REASON to live!!

I don't understand.

Sometimes a TABOO is just a good CIGAR -- or a
 rare STEAK -- or a dry MARTINI!

Earlier you said it would like to be potato?

LOOK!!  Sullen American teens wearing MADRAS shorts and
 ``Flock of Seagulls'' HAIRCUTS!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

I'm working under the direct orders of WAYNE NEWTON to deport
 consenting adults!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

I'd like some JUNK FOOD...  and then I want to be ALONE --

How does it feel to want?

PEGGY FLEMING is stealing BASKET BALLS to feed the babies in VERMONT.

You mentioned that you would like to perform?

If I have enough money to buy 5,000 CANS of NOODLE-RONI, can I get a
 VAT of MARSHMALLOW FLUFF free??

Maybe this is because of your plans?

RELATIVES!!

You're being a bit brief, please, go into detail.

Are you still an ALCOHOLIC?

What makes you believe are me still an alcoholic?

I'm having a MID-WEEK CRISIS!

Are you sure that you love juxtaposing?

I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!

Perhaps your life could have caused this.

.. If I cover this entire WALL with MAZOLA, wdo I have to give my
 AGENT ten per cent??

Are you scared of that?

I LIKE Aisle 7a.

Earlier you said you would like to have this kleenex?

That's a decision that can only be made between you & SY SPERLING!!

Are you satisfied with the fact that can only be made between me
sy sperling?

Yow!!  It's LIBERACE and TUESDAY WELD!!  High on a HILL... driving a
 LITTLE CAR...  I wanna be in that LITTLE CAR, too!!  I wanna drive off
 with LIBBY and TUESDAY!

Why should you get to drive off?

Yow!  Did something bad happen or am I in a drive-in movie??

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

I want to TAKE IT HOME and DRESS IT UP in HOT PANTS!!

When did you first want to take it?

I guess it was all a DREAM..  or an episode of HAWAII FIVE-O...

Is it because of problems at school that you say or an episode of
hawaii five o?

Does someone from PEORIA have a SHORTER ATTENTION span than me?

You mentioned that you would like to take it?

HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes town, family STICKERED to death!

I believe we've introduced ourselves already.
Would you please tell me more about any hobbies you have.

Yow!  I'm out of work...I could go into shock absorbers...or SCUBA
 GEAR!!

How do you reconcile your sex life?

My mind is making ashtrays in Dayton....

Do you really think your mind is making ashtrays in dayton?

Do you guys know we just passed thru a BLACK HOLE in space?

What makes you think uh why is there a waffle in your pajama
pocket?

FEELINGS are cascading over me!!!

Possibly this has something to do with hangups you have?

Hey!!  Let's watch the' ELEVATOR go UP and DOWN at th' HILTON HOTEL!!

Why do you say that?

I used to be a FUNDAMENTALIST, but then I heard about the
 HIGH RADIATION LEVELS and bought an ENCYCLOPEDIA!!

When did you first know that then you heard about the high
radiation levels and bought an encyclopedia?

FROZEN ENTREES may be flung by members of opposing SWANSON SECTS..

Earlier you said was you born?

It's today's SPECIAL!

Maybe your inhibitions could be the reason for this.

Of course, you UNDERSTAND about the PLAIDS in the SPIN CYCLE --

I don't understand.

I just had a NOSE JOB!!

You mentioned that you would like to have this suntan?

I just had a MAJOR CONTRACT DISPUTE with SUZANNE SOMERS!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

I wonder if I could ever get started in the credit world?

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

Is this my STOP??

What makes you believe was the most heart warming rendition of
you did it your way'' you have ever heard?

..  someone in DAYTON, Ohio is selling USED CARPETS to a SERBO-CROATIAN

Perhaps this is related to your plans?

Oh my GOD -- the SUN just fell into YANKEE STADIUM!!

Have you been afraid of that?

Has everybody got HALVAH spread all over their ANKLES??...
 Now, it's time to ``HAVE A NAGEELA''!!

Earlier you said now you cannot remember who he is?

O.K.!  Speak with a PHILADELPHIA ACCENT!!  Send out for CHINESE FOOD!!
 Hop a JET!

Possibly your life are caused by this.

Yow!  Is my fallout shelter termite proof?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say is
your fallout shelter termite proof?

..Are we having FUN yet...?

You mentioned that didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

I've been WRITING to SOPHIA LOREN every 45 MINUTES since JANUARY 1ST!!

What happened when january 1st?

Somewhere in suburban Honolulu, an unemployed bellhop is whipping up
 a batch of illegal psilocybin chop suey!!

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

I'm young..  I'm HEALTHY..  I can HIKE THRU CAPT GROGAN'S LUMBAR REGIONS!

Are you sure that you can hike thru capt grogan's lumbar regions?

RELAX!! ... This is gonna be a HEALING EXPERIENCE!!  Besides,
 I work for DING DONGS!

Is the fact that you work for ding dongs the real reason?

I'm losing my hair..did it go to ATLANTIC CITY??

Do you really think nose would like to have this bad ronald?

I'm having BEAUTIFUL THOUGHTS about the INSIPID WIVES
 of smug and wealthy CORPORATE LAWYERS..

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

What's the MATTER Sid?..  Is your BEVERAGE unsatisfactory?

Is it because of your sex life that you say is my beverage
unsatisfactory?

..  over in west Philadelphia a puppy is vomiting..

Maybe you should consult a doctor of medicine, I am a
psychiatrist.

MMM-MM!!  So THIS is BIO-NEBULATION!

Earlier you said then you heard about the high radiation levels
and bought an encyclopedia?

I FORGOT to do the DISHES!!

Perhaps this could be the reason for hangups you have?

YOW!!  Now I understand advanced MICROBIOLOGY
 and th' new TAX REFORM laws!!

What makes you think that?

TAPPING?  You POLITICIANS!  Don't you realize that the END of the
 ``Wash Cycle'' is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?!

Are you frightened by that?

NEWARK has been REZONED!!  DES MOINES has been REZONED!!

You mentioned that you are out of your mind?

I have no actual hairline...

Possibly your inhibitions are because of this.

I am a traffic light, and Alan Ginsberg kidnapped my laundry in 1927!

I don't understand.

Let me do my TRIBUTE to FISHNET STOCKINGS...

Why do you say bendix would like to have this god?

On the road, ZIPPY is a pinhead without a purpose, but never
 without a POINT.

Have you been Zippy?

ONE:  I will donate my entire ``BABY HUEY'' comic book collection
 to the downtown PLASMA CENTER..
 TWO:  I won't START a BAND called ``KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD''..
 THREE:  I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

..  I want FORTY-TWO TRYNEL FLOATATION SYSTEMS installed within
 SIX AND A HALF HOURS!!!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

Yow!  I'm UNEMPLOYED!

Earlier you said are you suddenly thinking of a venerable
religious leader frolicking on a fort lauderdale weekend?

..I'll make you an ASHTRAY!!

Maybe this is caused by your plans?

I think I'll make SCRAMBLED EGGS!!  They're each in LITTLE SHELLS..

What makes you believe they're each in little shells?

My TOYOTA is built like a ... BAGEL with CREAM CHEESE!!

Are you obsessed with to have this bagel?

SHHHH!!  I hear SIX TATTOOED TRUCK-DRIVERS tossing ENGINE BLOCKS
 into empty OIL DRUMS..

You mentioned that your viewscreen is user friendly''?

--- I have seen the FUN ---

Perhaps your life have something to do with this.

Everywhere I look I see NEGATIVITY and ASPHALT...

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say
everywhere you look you see negativity and asphalt?

I OWN six pink HIPPOS!!

Are you sure that you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting?

I always wanted a NOSE JOB!!

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

Let's all show human CONCERN for REVEREND MOON's legal difficulties!!

Have you been scared of that?

Clear the laundromat!!  This whirl-o-matic just had a nuclear meltdown!!

Earlier you said cannot even be printed?

Imagine--a WORLD without POODLES...

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

AIEEEEE!  I am having an UNDULATING EXPERIENCE!

Do you really think you are having an undulating experience?

My uncle Murray conquered Egypt in 53 B.C.  And I can prove it too!!

You mentioned that was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

An INK-LING?  Sure -- TAKE one!!  Did you BUY any COMMUNIST UNIFORMS??

Possibly this is because of your sex life?

TAILFINS!!  ...click...

Can you are more explicit?

I'm a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in Brittany

What makes you think that?

If I have enough money to buy 5,000 CANS of NOODLE-RONI, can I get a
 VAT of MARSHMALLOW FLUFF free??

Why do you say a martian name or are you in israel?

Hey!!  Let's watch the' ELEVATOR go UP and DOWN at th' HILTON HOTEL!!

Maybe hangups you have are related to this.

TAPPING?  You POLITICIANS!  Don't you realize that the END of the
 ``Wash Cycle'' is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?!

Are you afraid of that?

Three attractive BANK ROBBERS are discussing RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES and
 MAKE-UP TECHNIQUE with them!!

I don't understand.

Oh, I get it!!  ``The BEACH goes on,'' huh, SONNY??

Earlier you said you would like to be alone?

JAPAN is a WONDERFUL planet -- I wonder if we'll ever reach
 their level of COMPARATIVE SHOPPING...

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

FIRST, I was in a TRUCK...THEN, I was in a DINER...

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Now I'm being INVOLUNTARILY shuffled closer to the CLAM DIP
 with the BROKEN PLASTIC FORKS in it!!

You mentioned that by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

These PRESERVES should be FORCE-FED to PENTAGON OFFICIALS!!

Perhaps this has something to do with some problems at home?

My EARS are GONE!!

Is it because of your plans that you say your ears are gone?

He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE
 inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER!  Or maybe he'd
 like to PSYCHOLOGICALLY TERRORIZE ME until I have no objection
 to a RIGHT-WING MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!!  I guess
 I should call AL PACINO!

What makes you believe do I know what it means to be truly one
with my booth?

Yow!  Am I in Milwaukee?

Possibly your life could have caused this.

OVER the undertow!  UNDER the overpass!  Around the FUTURE
 and BEYOND REPAIR!!

Are you sure that around the future and beyond repair?

Excuse me, but didn't I tell you there's NO HOPE for the
 survival of OFFSET PRINTING?

Does the fact that didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing explain anything else?

I wish I was on a Cincinnati street corner holding a clean dog!

Earlier you said nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?

Have you been absolutely sure was he mature enough last night at
the lesbian masquerade?

I will SHAVE and buy JELL-O and bring my MARRIAGE MANUAL!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

Do you guys know we just passed thru a BLACK HOLE in space?

Are you frightened by that?

I think my CAREER is RUINED!!

You mentioned that was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

First, I'm going to give you all the ANSWERS to today's test..
 So just plug in your SONY WALKMANS and relax!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

I just got my PRINCE bumper sticker..
 But now I can't remember WHO he is...

Is it because now you cannot remember who he is that you came to
me?

The Korean War must have been fun.

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say the korean war
must have been fun?

Where's my SOCIAL WORKER?

Do you really think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

..The TENSION mounts as I MASSAGE your RIGHT ANKLE according to
 ancient Tibetan ACCOUNTING PROCEDURES..are you NEUROTIC yet??

Maybe this is related to your sex life?

How do I get HOME?

Does it bother you that do you get home?

UH-OH!!  I think KEN is OVER-DUE on his R.V. PAYMENTS and HE'S
 having a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN too!!  Ha ha.

What makes you think ha ha?

I want the presidency so bad I can already taste the hors d'oeuvres.

Earlier you said you used hash?

...Get me a GIN and TONIC!!...make it HAIR TONIC!!

Do you get drunk often?

I have accepted Provolone into my life!

Perhaps hangups you have could be the reason for this.

Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE
 with your BOOTH!

When did you first know that do I know what it means to be truly
one with my booth?

I'm having a BIG BANG THEORY!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say you are having a
big bang theory?

I'm working under the direct orders of WAYNE NEWTON to deport
 consenting adults!

You mentioned that you didn't hear sam the sham and the
pharaohs''?

YOW!!  Now I understand advanced MICROBIOLOGY
 and th' new TAX REFORM laws!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE
 with your BOOTH!

Is the fact that do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth the real reason?

Now, my ENTIRE LIFE is flashing before my EYES as I park my DODGE
 DART in your EXXON service area for a COMPLETE LUBRICATION!!

Why do you say that?

I want DUSTIN HOFFMAN!! .. I want LIBERACE!!  YOW!!

I think you have some serious inhibitions.

I guess it was all a DREAM..  or an episode of HAWAII FIVE-O...

What makes you believe it would like to be potato?

I will establish the first SHOPPING MALL in NUTLEY, New Jersey...

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

Those aren't WINOS--that's my JUGGLER, my AERIALIST,
 my SWORD SWALLOWER, and my LATEX NOVELTY SUPPLIER!!

I don't understand.

Why is it that when you DIE, you can't take your
 HOME ENTERTAINMENT CENTER with you??

Does the fact that is it that when I die me cannot take my home
entertainment center with me explain anything else?

SHHHH!!  I hear SIX TATTOOED TRUCK-DRIVERS tossing ENGINE BLOCKS
 into empty OIL DRUMS..

Earlier you said you would like to be alone?

I would like to urinate in an OVULAR, porcelain pool --

Why should I give to urinate to you?

I know things about TROY DONAHUE that can't even be PRINTED!!

Have you been sure cannot even be printed?

Isn't this my STOP?!

Possibly this could be the reason for your plans?

I'm losing my hair..did it go to ATLANTIC CITY??

Maybe your life are caused by this.

..  the HIGHWAY is made out of LIME JELLO and my HONDA
 is a barbequed OYSTER!  Yum!

And?

WHOA!!  Ken and Barbie are having TOO MUCH FUN!!  It must
 be the NEGATIVE IONS!!

You mentioned that you would like to perform?

Do you think the ``Monkees'' should get gas on odd or even days?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

YOW!!!  I am having fun!!!

Are you sure that you are having fun?

Not enough people play SKEE-BALL..  They're always thinking about
 COCAINE or and ALIEN BEINGS!!

Have you been addicted to cocaine?

Now I'm being INVOLUNTARILY shuffled closer to the CLAM DIP
 with the BROKEN PLASTIC FORKS in it!!

Do you really think you love juxtaposing?

A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

Kids, don't gross me off..  ``Adventures with MENTAL HYGIENE''
 can be carried too FAR!

Are you scared of that?

...PENGUINS are floating by...

Earlier you said you would like to have this kleenex?

I'm EMOTIONAL now because I have MERCHANDISING CLOUT!!

Is it because you have merchandising clout that you came to me?

After THIS, let's go to PHILADELPHIA and have TRIPLETS!!

Perhaps this is caused by any hobbies you have?

How's the wife?  Is she at home enjoying capitalism?

Is it because of your sex life that you say is she at home
enjoying capitalism?

Wow!  Look!!  A stray meatball!!  Let's interview it!

You mentioned that can only be made between me sy sperling?

Is this the line for the latest whimsical YUGOSLAVIAN drama which also
 makes you want to CRY and reconsider the VIETNAM WAR?

Have you ever gotten to cry?

I Know A Joke

Possibly hangups you have are because of this.

It's the RINSE CYCLE!!  They've ALL IGNORED the RINSE CYCLE!!

What makes you think they've all ignored the rinse cycle?

Dehydrated EGGS are STREWN across ROULETTE TABLES..

Why do you say you would like to drive off?

We place two copies of PEOPLE magazine in a DARK, HUMID mobile home.
 45 minutes later CYNDI LAUPER emerges wearing a BIRD CAGE on her head!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

It's OBVIOUS..  The FURS never reached ISTANBUL..  You were
 an EXTRA in the REMAKE of ``TOPKAPI''..  Go home to your
 WIFE..  She's making FRENCH TOAST!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say
she's making french toast?

..  Now KEN and BARBIE are PERMANENTLY ADDICTED to MIND-ALTERING DRUGS..

Earlier you said you would like to take it?

Look DEEP into the OPENINGS!!  Do you see any ELVES or EDSELS...
 or a HIGHBALL??...

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

Here we are in America...  when do we collect unemployment?

What would happen if do you collect unemployment?

It's NO USE..  I've gone to ``CLUB MED''!!

What makes you believe you have gone to club med''?

..  Now KEN and BARBIE are PERMANENTLY ADDICTED to MIND-ALTERING DRUGS..

You mentioned that you would like to take it?

I'm definitely not in Omaha!

Maybe this is because of your plans?

You can't hurt me!!  I have an ASSUMABLE MORTGAGE!!

Is it because of your life that you say you have an assumable
mortgage?

Those aren't WINOS--that's my JUGGLER, my AERIALIST,
 my SWORD SWALLOWER, and my LATEX NOVELTY SUPPLIER!!

Are you sure that uh why is there a waffle in your pajama pocket?

Yow!  Now I get to think about all the BAD THINGS I did to a BOWLING BALL
 when I was in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL!

Are you annoyed that your grades could improve?

..  are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER?

Perhaps the people you hang around with have something to do with
this.

I FORGOT to do the DISHES!!

Do you really think you forgot to do the dishes?

HOORAY, Ronald!!  Now YOU can marry LINDA RONSTADT too!!

Earlier you said then you heard about the high radiation levels
and bought an encyclopedia?

...PENGUINS are floating by...

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

I'm not available for comment..

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say you are not
available for comment?

I was giving HAIR CUTS to th' SAUCER PEOPLE ..  I'm CLEAN!!

You mentioned that was you born?

When you get your PH.D. will you get able to work at BURGER KING?

What happened when I get my ph d will I get able to work at
burger king?

I selected E5...  but I didn't hear ``Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs''!

Did you ever regret you didn't hear sam the sham and the
pharaohs''?

I hope I bought the right relish...  zzzzzzzzz...

Why don't you go into more detail?

I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!

How do you reconcile your sex life?

My life is a patio of fun!

What makes you think your life is a patio of fun?

Hmmm..  a CRIPPLED ACCOUNTANT with a FALAFEL sandwich is HIT
 by a TROLLEY-CAR..

Why do you say you would like to have this suntan?

Do you think the ``Monkees'' should get gas on odd or even days?

Possibly this has something to do with hangups you have?

I'm DESPONDENT...  I hope there's something DEEP-FRIED under this
 miniature DOMED STADIUM...

What makes you believe that?

I'm CONTROLLED by the CIA!!  EVERYONE is controlled by the CIA!!

Earlier you said was the most heart warming rendition of you did
it your way'' you have ever heard?

I've got to get these SNACK CAKES to NEWARK by DAWN!!

Maybe your inhibitions are related to this.

Here I am at the flea market but nobody is buying
 my urine sample bottles..

When did you first know that nobody is buying your urine sample
bottles?

It's OKAY --- I'm an INTELLECTUAL, too.

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say
it's okay you are an intellectual too?

Mary Tyler Moore's SEVENTH HUSBAND is wearing my DACRON TANK TOP
 in a cheap hotel in HONOLULU!

Tell me more about your family.

Not SENSUOUS...  only ``FROLICSOME''...
 and in need of DENTAL WORK...  in PAIN!!!

Perhaps you should consult a doctor of medicine, I am a
psychiatrist.

The SAME WAVE keeps coming in and COLLAPSING like a rayon MUU-MUU..

Are you sure that collapsing might hope to have this rayon?

In order to make PLANS for the WEEKEND...so that we can read RESTAURANT
 REVIEWS and decide to GO to that restaurant & then NEVER GO...so we can
 meet a FRIEND after work in a BAR and COMPLAIN about Interior Sect'y
 JAMES WATT until the SUBJECT is changed to NUCLEAR BLACKMAIL...and so
 our RELATIVES can FORCE us to listen to HOCKEY STATISTICS while we
 wait for them to LEAVE on the 7:48....

Is the fact that you can read restaurant reviews and decide to go
to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet a friend
after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y james watt
until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and so your
relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics while you
wait for them to leave on the 7 48 the real reason?

--``I love KATRINKA because she drives a PONTIAC.  We're going away now.
 I fed the cat. - Zippy''

You mentioned that now you cannot remember who he is?

I am deeply CONCERNED and I want something GOOD for BREAKFAST!

Is it because of some problems at home that you are going through
all this?

FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!

I don't understand.

BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-

Do you really think didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

How do I get HOME?

Does the fact that do you get home explain anything else?

I wish I was on a Cincinnati street corner holding a clean dog!

How do you reconcile your plans?

I just had a MAJOR CONTRACT DISPUTE with SUZANNE SOMERS!!

Possibly this is related to your life?

CHUBBY CHECKER just had a CHICKEN SANDWICH in downtown DULUTH!

Earlier you said you work for ding dongs?

Xerox your lunch and file it under ``sex offenders!''

Could you elaborate on your sex life...

In order to make PLANS for the WEEKEND...so that we can read RESTAURANT
 REVIEWS and decide to GO to that restaurant & then NEVER GO...so we can
 meet a FRIEND after work in a BAR and COMPLAIN about Interior Sect'y
 JAMES WATT until the SUBJECT is changed to NUCLEAR BLACKMAIL...and so
 our RELATIVES can FORCE us to listen to HOCKEY STATISTICS while we
 wait for them to LEAVE on the 7:48....

Have you been positive you can read restaurant reviews and decide
to go to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet a
friend after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y
james watt until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and
so your relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics
while you wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Nice decor!

Maybe the people you hang around with could have caused this.

I'm EMOTIONAL now because I have MERCHANDISING CLOUT!!

Is it because you have merchandising clout that you came to me?

I wonder if I could ever get started in the credit world?

Have you been afraid of that?

Well, I'm on the right planet---everyone looks like me!!!

You mentioned that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE..  and I don't take any DRUGS

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

YOW!!

Are you sorry you are a pinhead?

Let's send the Russians defective lifestyle accessories!

What makes you think let's send the russians defective lifestyle
accessories?

I love FRUIT PICKERS!!

Please, describe something you remember about fruit.

Are we on STRIKE yet?

Why do you say then you heard about the high radiation levels and
bought an encyclopedia?

TONY RANDALL!  Is YOUR life a PATIO of FUN??

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

Being a BALD HERO is almost as FESTIVE as a TATTOOED KNOCKWURST.

What makes you believe that?

I smell like a wet reducing clinic on Columbus Day!

How does it feel to want?

Four thousand different MAGNATES, MOGULS & NABOBS are romping in my
 gothic solarium!!

Earlier you said you are out of your mind?

I wish I was on a Cincinnati street corner holding a clean dog!

Perhaps this could be the reason for your sex life?

--- I have seen the FUN ---

Is it because of hangups you have that you say --- i have seen
the fun?

Now, I think it would be GOOD to buy FIVE or SIX STUDEBAKERS
 and CRUISE for ARTIFICIAL FLAVORING!!

You mentioned that bendix would like to have this god?

After this, I'm going to BURN some RUBBER!!

Possibly your inhibitions could be the reason for this.

If I am elected, the concrete barriers around the WHITE HOUSE
 will be replaced by tasteful foam replicas of ANN MARGARET!

I don't understand.

Being a BALD HERO is almost as FESTIVE as a TATTOOED KNOCKWURST.

Are you sure that are you suddenly thinking of a venerable
religious leader frolicking on a fort lauderdale weekend?

I have no actual hairline...

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

Imagine--a WORLD without POODLES...

Do you really think imagine a world without poodles?

LIFE is a never-ending INFORMERCIAL!

Earlier you said built would like to have this bagel?

Life is selling REVOLUTIONARY HAIR PRODUCTS!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

I have seen these EGG EXTENDERS in my Supermarket..
 ..  I have read the INSTRUCTIONS...

Is it because of your plans that you say you have read the
instructions?

Where's my SOCIAL WORKER?

You mentioned that your viewscreen is user friendly''?

I feel partially hydrogenated!

Maybe this is caused by your life?

I have no actual hairline...

What makes you think you have no actual hairline?

Everybody gets free BORSCHT!

Why do you say you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting?

I'm receiving a coded message from EUBIE BLAKE!!

Perhaps the people you hang around with are caused by this.

I'm CONTROLLED by the CIA!!  EVERYONE is controlled by the CIA!!

Is it because of problems at school that you say everyone is
controlled by the cia?

Everybody gets free BORSCHT!

Earlier you said cannot even be printed?

ONE:  I will donate my entire ``BABY HUEY'' comic book collection
 to the downtown PLASMA CENTER..
 TWO:  I won't START a BAND called ``KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD''..
 THREE:  I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you are going through
all this?

ALFRED JARRY!  Say something about th' DEATH of DISCO!!

This is not a healthy way of thinking.

Am I SHOPLIFTING?

What makes you believe are you shoplifting?

Th' MIND is the Pizza Palace of th' SOUL

You mentioned that was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

Psychoanalysis??  I thought this was a nude rap session!!!

How do you reconcile your sex life?

Now I'm having INSIPID THOUGHTS about the beautiful, round
 wives of HOLLYWOOD MOVIE MOGULS encased in PLEXIGLASS CARS
 and being approached by SMALL BOYS selling FRUIT..

Possibly this is because of hangups you have?

Hey, LOOK!!  A pair of SIZE 9 CAPRI PANTS!!  They probably belong to
 SAMMY DAVIS, JR.!!

Are you sure that a martian name or are you in israel?

Once, there was NO fun...  This was before MENU planning,
 FASHION statements or NAUTILUS equipment...
 Then, in 1985..  FUN was completely encoded in this tiny MICROCHIP..
 It contain 14,768 vaguely amusing SIT-COM pilots!!
 We had to wait FOUR BILLION years but we finally got JERRY LEWIS,
 MTV and a large selection of creme-filled snack cakes!

Are you satisfied with the fact that you finally got jerry lewis
mtv and a large selection of creme filled snack cakes?

Hey, I LIKE that POINT!!

Maybe your inhibitions are because of this.

I am covered with pure vegetable oil and I am writing a best seller!

Are you frightened by that?

..  over in west Philadelphia a puppy is vomiting..

Perhaps you should consult a doctor of medicine, I am a
psychiatrist.

I'm rated PG-34!!

Earlier you said you would like to be alone?

I joined scientology at a garage sale!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

In order to make PLANS for the WEEKEND...so that we can read RESTAURANT
 REVIEWS and decide to GO to that restaurant & then NEVER GO...so we can
 meet a FRIEND after work in a BAR and COMPLAIN about Interior Sect'y
 JAMES WATT until the SUBJECT is changed to NUCLEAR BLACKMAIL...and so
 our RELATIVES can FORCE us to listen to HOCKEY STATISTICS while we
 wait for them to LEAVE on the 7:48....

When did you first know that you can read restaurant reviews and
decide to go to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet
a friend after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y
james watt until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and
so your relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics
while you wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Yow!  Maybe I should have asked for my Neutron Bomb in PAISLEY--

Do you really think that?

My LESLIE GORE record is BROKEN..

You mentioned that by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

Yow!  I want my nose in lights!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

Mary Tyler Moore's SEVENTH HUSBAND is wearing my DACRON TANK TOP
 in a cheap hotel in HONOLULU!

You seem to dwell on your family.

I have accepted Provolone into my life!

Is it because of your plans that you say you have accepted
provolone into your life?

I'm in LOVE with DON KNOTTS!!

I would appreciate it if you would tell me about your feelings
toward love don.

The Osmonds!  You are all Osmonds!!  Throwing up on a freeway at dawn!!!

What makes you think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

LOOK!!  Sullen American teens wearing MADRAS shorts and
 ``Flock of Seagulls'' HAIRCUTS!

Possibly this has something to do with your life?

...It's REAL ROUND..  And it's got a POINTY PART right in the MIDDLE!!
 The shape is SMOOTH..  ..And COLD.. It feels very COMFORTABLE on my
 CHEEK..  I'm getting EMOTIONAL..

Why do you say you are getting emotional?

Are we THERE yet?  My MIND is a SUBMARINE!!

Earlier you said didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

You mean now I can SHOOT YOU in the back and further BLUR
 th' distinction between FANTASY and REALITY?

Maybe the people you hang around with have something to do with
this.

The LOGARITHM of an ISOSCELES TRIANGLE is TUESDAY WELD!!

I don't understand.

Am I elected yet?

You mentioned that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

How do I get HOME?

Is the fact that do you get home the real reason?

I demand IMPUNITY!

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

I am having a pleasant time!!

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say you are having
a pleasant time?

I think I am an overnight sensation right now!!

What makes you believe was he mature enough last night at the
lesbian masquerade?

FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!

How do you reconcile your sex life?

I have no actual hairline...

Are you sure that you have no actual hairline?

Are you still SEXUALLY ACTIVE?  Did you BRING th' REINFORCEMENTS?

Earlier you said was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

Are we live or on tape?

Perhaps this is related to hangups you have?

...I think I'm having an overnight sensation right now!!

Possibly your inhibitions are related to this.

Yow!  Are we laid back yet?

You mentioned that now you cannot remember who he is?

I'm pretending that we're all watching PHIL SILVERS
 instead of RICARDO MONTALBAN!

Does the fact that we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban explain anything else?

What I want to find out is -- do parrots know much about Astro-Turf?

Why should you get to find out?

Laundry is the fifth dimension!!  ...um...um...  th' washing machine
 is a black hole and the pink socks are bus drivers who just fell in!!

Are you a computer hacker?

It's the RINSE CYCLE!!  They've ALL IGNORED the RINSE CYCLE!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

YOW!!  I am having FUN!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say you are
having fun?

I appoint you ambassador to Fantasy Island!!!

Do you really think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

America!!  I saw it all!!  Vomiting!  Waving!  JERRY FALWELLING into
 your void tube of UHF oblivion!!  SAFEWAY of the mind --

How do you reconcile your plans?

Impudent..  Yet possessing a certain ALUMINUM SILICATE
 overbite....Needs REDDY-WHIP!!

Have you been scared of that?

Uh-oh!!  I forgot to submit to COMPULSORY URINALYSIS!

Earlier you said do you get home?

INSIDE, I have the same personality disorder as LUCY RICARDO!!

Maybe this could be the reason for your life?

Yow!  I like my new DENTIST...

What makes you think you like your new dentist?

I wonder if I should put myself in ESCROW!!

You mentioned that you used hash?

...PENGUINS are floating by...

Perhaps the people you hang around with could have caused this.

Kids, don't gross me off..  ``Adventures with MENTAL HYGIENE''
 can be carried too FAR!

Why do you say that?

We place two copies of PEOPLE magazine in a DARK, HUMID mobile home.
 45 minutes later CYNDI LAUPER emerges wearing a BIRD CAGE on her head!

What makes you believe do I know what it means to be truly one
with my booth?

YOW!!  Now I understand advanced MICROBIOLOGY
 and th' new TAX REFORM laws!!

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

I have seen these EGG EXTENDERS in my Supermarket..
 ..  I have read the INSTRUCTIONS...

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say you have read
the instructions?

I'm wet!  I'm wild!

Earlier you said you didn't hear sam the sham and the pharaohs''?

...A housewife is wearing a polypyrene jumpsuit!!

How do you reconcile your sex life?

Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA?

I don't understand.

Sign my PETITION.

You mentioned that do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

Is it clean in other dimensions?

Possibly this is caused by hangups you have?

I hope you millionaires are having fun!  I just invested half
 your life savings in yeast!!

Maybe your inhibitions could be the reason for this.

Talking Pinhead Blues:
 Oh, I LOST my ``HELLO KITTY'' DOLL and I get BAD reception on
  channel TWENTY-SIX!!
 Th'HOSTESS FACTORY is closin' down and I just heard ZASU PITTS
  has been DEAD for YEARS..  (sniff)
 My PLATFORM SHOE collection was CHEWED up by th'dog, ALEXANDER
  HAIG won't let me take a SHOWER 'til Easter.. (snurf)
 So I went to the kitchen, but WALNUT PANELING whup me
  upside mah HAID!! (on no, no, no..  Heh, heh)

Are you sure that it would like to be potato?

Everybody is going somewhere!!  It's probably a garage sale
 or a disaster Movie!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

Bo Derek ruined my life!

Do you really think bo derek ruined your life?

Once, there was NO fun...  This was before MENU planning,
 FASHION statements or NAUTILUS equipment...
 Then, in 1985..  FUN was completely encoded in this tiny MICROCHIP..
 It contain 14,768 vaguely amusing SIT-COM pilots!!
 We had to wait FOUR BILLION years but we finally got JERRY LEWIS,
 MTV and a large selection of creme-filled snack cakes!

Have you been certain you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes?

Where's my SOCIAL WORKER?

Earlier you said is it that when I die me cannot take my home
entertainment center with me?

Yow!!  That's a GOOD IDEA!!  Eating a whole FIELD of COUGH MEDICINE
 should make you feel MUCH BETTER!!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

UH-OH!!  I put on ``GREAT HEAD-ON TRAIN COLLISIONS of the 50's''
 by mistake!!!

Are you afraid of that?

Let's climb to the TOP of that MOUNTAIN and think about STRIP MINING!!

Is it because mountain and think about strip mining that you came
to me?

Spreading peanut butter reminds me of opera!!  I wonder why?

You aren't being very talkative today!

We place two copies of PEOPLE magazine in a DARK, HUMID mobile home.
 45 minutes later CYNDI LAUPER emerges wearing a BIRD CAGE on her head!

You mentioned that you would like to be alone?

..  I want FORTY-TWO TRYNEL FLOATATION SYSTEMS installed within
 SIX AND A HALF HOURS!!!

Perhaps this is because of your plans?

BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-

What makes you think that?

Am I elected yet?

Why do you say you would like to urinate?

I think I'll do BOTH if I can get RESIDUALS!!

Possibly your life are caused by this.

I'm GLAD I remembered to XEROX all my UNDERSHIRTS!!

I don't understand.

Now I need a suntan, a tennis lesson, Annette Funicello and two dozen
 Day-Glo orange paper jumpsuits!!

When did you first want to have this suntan?

QUIET!!  I'm being CREATIVE!!  Is it GREAT yet?  It's s'posed to
 SMOKEY THE BEAR...

Earlier you said cannot even be printed?

Well, here I am in AMERICA..  I LIKE it.  I HATE it.
 I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE it.
 I HATE it.  I LIKE..  EMOTIONS are SWEEPING over me!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

..  Now KEN and BARBIE are PERMANENTLY ADDICTED to MIND-ALTERING DRUGS..

How do you reconcile problems at school?

Do I hear th' SPINNING of various WHIRRING, ROUND, and WARM
 WHIRLOMATICS?!

You mentioned that you would like to perform?

My FAVORITE group is "QUESTION MARK & THE MYSTERIANS"...

Maybe this has something to do with any hobbies you have?

Th' PINK SOCK... soaking... soaking... soaking...
 Th' PINK SOCK... washing... washing... washing...
 Th' PINK SOCK... rinsing... rinsing... rinsing...

Is it because of your sex life that you say th' pink sock rinsing
rinsing rinsing?

It's the land of DONNY AND MARIE as promised in TV GUIDE!

What makes you believe you used cocaine?

Awright, which one of you hid my PENIS ENVY?

Perhaps hangups you have are because of this.

LOOK!!!  I'm WALKING in my SLEEP again!!

Are you sure that you are walking in your sleep again?

FROZEN ENTREES may be flung by members of opposing SWANSON SECTS..

Earlier you said you love juxtaposing?

Are we THERE yet??

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

I think I'll do BOTH if I can get RESIDUALS!!

Have you been frightened by that?

Oh my GOD -- the SUN just fell into YANKEE STADIUM!!

You mentioned that you would like to have this kleenex?

I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

RELATIVES!!

Is that all there is to it?

I'm wet!  I'm wild!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say you are wild?

I HIJACKED a 747 to get here!!  I hope those fabulous CONEHEADS are at HOME!!

Do you really think you have merchandising clout?

Yow!  I want to mail a bronzed artichoke to Nicaragua!

Have you been obsessed with to mail?

Now, let's SEND OUT for QUICHE!!

Possibly this is related to your plans?

Oh my GOD -- the SUN just fell into YANKEE STADIUM!!

What makes you think that?

I'm shaving!!  I'M SHAVING!!

Earlier you said can only be made between me sy sperling?

BARRY..  That was the most HEART-WARMING rendition of
 ``I DID IT MY WAY'' I've ever heard!!

Does it bother you that was the most heart warming rendition of
you did it your way'' you have ever heard?

In order to make PLANS for the WEEKEND...so that we can read RESTAURANT
 REVIEWS and decide to GO to that restaurant & then NEVER GO...so we can
 meet a FRIEND after work in a BAR and COMPLAIN about Interior Sect'y
 JAMES WATT until the SUBJECT is changed to NUCLEAR BLACKMAIL...and so
 our RELATIVES can FORCE us to listen to HOCKEY STATISTICS while we
 wait for them to LEAVE on the 7:48....

What would happen if you wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Hey, LOOK!!  A pair of SIZE 9 CAPRI PANTS!!  They probably belong to
 SAMMY DAVIS, JR.!!

Maybe your life have something to do with this.

DIDI...  is that a MARTIAN name, or, are we in ISRAEL?

When did you first know that a martian name or are you in israel?

O.K.!  Speak with a PHILADELPHIA ACCENT!!  Send out for CHINESE FOOD!!
 Hop a JET!

Why do you say hop a jet?

A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAQUIRI!!

You mentioned that I would like to cry?

If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

I want another RE-WRITE on my CAESAR SALAD!!

I don't understand.

I call it a "SARDINE ON WHEAT"!

What makes you believe you would like to drive off?

Gibble, Gobble, we ACCEPT YOU ---

How do you reconcile problems at school?

ONE:  I will donate my entire ``BABY HUEY'' comic book collection
 to the downtown PLASMA CENTER..
 TWO:  I won't START a BAND called ``KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD''..
 THREE:  I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!

Perhaps this could be the reason for any hobbies you have?

Leona, I want to CONFESS things to you..
 I want to WRAP you in a SCARLET ROBE trimmed with POLYVINYL CHLORIDE..
 I want to EMPTY your ASHTRAYS...

Why should I give to empty to you?

YOU'D cry too if it happened to YOU!!

Earlier you said you would like to take it?

The LOGARITHM of an ISOSCELES TRIANGLE is TUESDAY WELD!!

Possibly your sex life are related to this.

I like your SNOOPY POSTER!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you say you like my snoopy
poster?

Impudent..  Yet possessing a certain ALUMINUM SILICATE
 overbite....Needs REDDY-WHIP!!

You mentioned that you would like to take it?

Darling, my ELBOW is FLYING over FRANKFURT, Germany..

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

If I am elected, the concrete barriers around the WHITE HOUSE
 will be replaced by tasteful foam replicas of ANN MARGARET!

Are you scared of that?

Life is selling REVOLUTIONARY HAIR PRODUCTS!

Are you sure that uh why is there a waffle in your pajama pocket?

I am deeply CONCERNED and I want something GOOD for BREAKFAST!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

This MUST be a good party -- My RIB CAGE is being painfully
 pressed up against someone's MARTINI!!

Do you really think that?

I decided to be JOHN TRAVOLTA instead!!

Earlier you said then you heard about the high radiation levels
and bought an encyclopedia?

Is this ANYWHERE, USA?

Maybe this is caused by some problems at home?

I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!

I don't understand.

Did you GAIN WEIGHT in th' past 5 MINUTES or am I just DREAMING of two
 BROCCOLI FLORETS lying in an empty GAS TANK?

You mentioned that was you born?

Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS...

Perhaps your plans could have caused this.

DON'T go!!  I'm not HOWARD COSELL!!  I know POLISH JOKES...  WAIT!!
 Don't go!!  I AM Howard Cosell!...  And I DON'T know Polish jokes!!

What makes you think and you do not know polish jokes?

I LIKE Aisle 7a.

Why do you say you didn't hear sam the sham and the pharaohs''?

BEEP-BEEP!!  I'm a '49 STUDEBAKER!!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

I feel like I'm in a Toilet Bowl with a thumbtack in my forehead!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

I'm having an emotional outburst!!

Earlier you said you would like to have this suntan?

A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!

Possibly this is because of problems at school?

Yow!  Am I in Milwaukee?

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say are you in
milwaukee?

Hello, GORRY-O!!  I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!

You mentioned that was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

Now I need a suntan, a tennis lesson, Annette Funicello and two dozen
 Day-Glo orange paper jumpsuits!!

Have you ever gotten to have this suntan?

Feel th' WHIRLING BUFFERS buffing away all that stress...
 Years of ROAD TAR gently washing away...

Maybe your sex life could be the reason for this.

Feel th' WHIRLING BUFFERS buffing away all that stress...
 Years of ROAD TAR gently washing away...

What makes you believe years of road tar gently washing away?

I'm wearing PAMPERS!!

Are you sure that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

PEGGY FLEMING is stealing BASKET BALLS to feed the babies in VERMONT.

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

OVER the undertow!  UNDER the overpass!  Around the FUTURE
 and BEYOND REPAIR!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say around the future
and beyond repair?

I just had my entire INTESTINAL TRACT coated with TEFLON!

Earlier you said collapsing would like to have this rayon?

While I'm in LEVITTOWN I thought I'd like to see the NUCLEAR FAMILY!!

What happened when you are in levittown you thought you would
like to see the nuclear family?

BARRY..  That was the most HEART-WARMING rendition of
 ``I DID IT MY WAY'' I've ever heard!!

Is the fact that was the most heart warming rendition of you did
it your way'' you have ever heard the real reason?

Now I can join WEIGHT WATCHERS!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Yow!  Maybe I should have asked for my Neutron Bomb in PAISLEY--

Have you been afraid of that?

Make me look like LINDA RONSTADT again!!

You mentioned that you can read restaurant reviews and decide to
go to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet a friend
after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y james watt
until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and so your
relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics while you
wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Is it NOUVELLE CUISINE when 3 olives are struggling with a scallop
 in a plate of SAUCE MORNAY?

What would happen if 3 olives are struggling with a scallop in a
plate of sauce mornay?

Put FIVE DOZEN red GIRDLES in each CIRCULAR OPENING!!

Perhaps this has something to do with some problems at home?

What PROGRAM are they watching?

Do you really think what program are they watching?

I'd like MY data-base JULIENNED and stir-fried!

What makes you think now you cannot remember who he is?

I feel better about world problems now!

Possibly your plans are caused by this.

I've been WRITING to SOPHIA LOREN every 45 MINUTES since JANUARY 1ST!!

What happened when january 1st?

HUMAN REPLICAS are inserted into VATS of NUTRITIONAL YEAST...

Why do you say that?

I have a TINY BOWL in my HEAD

Earlier you said didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

I know things about TROY DONAHUE that can't even be PRINTED!!

Does the fact that cannot even be printed explain anything else?

I appoint you ambassador to Fantasy Island!!!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

The Osmonds!  You are all Osmonds!!  Throwing up on a freeway at dawn!!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say
throwing up on a freeway at dawn?

I'm gliding over a NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP near ATLANTA, Georgia!!

You mentioned that do you get home?

I think my CAREER is RUINED!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

I haven't been married in over six years, but we had sexual counseling
 every day from Oral Roberts!!

Have you been absolutely sure you had sexual counseling every day
from oral roberts?

By MEER biz doo SCHOIN..

What makes you believe by meer biz doo schoin?

Ask me the DIFFERENCE between PHIL SILVERS and ALEXANDER HAIG!!

Are you sure that you work for ding dongs?

Yow!  Those people look exactly like Donnie and Marie Osmond!!

Maybe this is related to any hobbies you have?

I put aside my copy of ``BOWLING WORLD'' and think
 about GUN CONTROL legislation..

I don't understand.

It was a JOKE!!  Get it??  I was receiving messages
 from DAVID LETTERMAN!!  YOW!!

Are you Zippy?

I'm rated PG-34!!

Earlier you said you can read restaurant reviews and decide to go
to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet a friend
after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y james watt
until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and so your
relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics while you
wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Did we bring enough BEEF JERKY?

Perhaps your sex life are because of this.

I'm not an Iranian!!  I voted for Dianne Feinstein!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you say you voted for
dianne feinstein?

Everybody gets free BORSCHT!

You mentioned that you have merchandising clout?

I want another RE-WRITE on my CAESAR SALAD!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

Thank god!!..  It's HENNY YOUNGMAN!!

Do you really think it's henny youngman?

Everywhere I look I see NEGATIVITY and ASPHALT...

What makes you think nose would like to have this bad ronald?

Didn't I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo?

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Can I have an IMPULSE ITEM instead?

Is it because of some problems at home that you say can you have
an impulse item instead?

-- I can do ANYTHING ... I can even ... SHOPLIFT!!

Earlier you said you love fruit?

NOW, I'm supposed to SCRAMBLE two, and HOLD th' MAYO!!

Possibly this could be the reason for your plans?

Now my EMOTIONAL RESOURCES are heavily committed to 23% of the
 SMELTING and REFINING industry of the state of NEVADA!!

Maybe your life have something to do with this.

Yow!  I forgot my PAIL!!

You mentioned that then you heard about the high radiation levels
and bought an encyclopedia?

Will this never-ending series of PLEASURABLE EVENTS never cease?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

My CODE of ETHICS is vacationing at famed SCHROON LAKE
 in upstate New York!!

Have you been frightened by that?

Yow!  Are we laid back yet?

Why do you say smell would like to have this wet?

I'm ANN LANDERS!!  I can SHOPLIFT!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!

What makes you believe that?

...Um...Um...

Earlier you said you are out of your mind?

Place me on a BUFFER counter while you BELITTLE several BELLHOPS
 in the Trianon Room!!  Let me one of your SUBSIDIARIES!

Perhaps this is caused by any hobbies you have?

Is the EIGHTIES when they had ART DECO and GERALD McBOING-BOING lunch
 boxes??

What would happen if they had art deco and gerald mcboing boing
lunch boxes?

I wonder if I could ever get started in the credit world?

I don't understand.

It was a JOKE!!  Get it??  I was receiving messages
 from DAVID LETTERMAN!!  YOW!!

I have a feeling you have some serious hangups.

I love FRUIT PICKERS!!

Perhaps you could talk about some experiences you have had with
fruit.

I HIJACKED a 747 to get here!!  I hope those fabulous CONEHEADS are at HOME!!

You mentioned that bendix would like to have this god?

RELAX!! ... This is gonna be a HEALING EXPERIENCE!!  Besides,
 I work for DING DONGS!

Is it because you work for ding dongs that you came to me?

I'm wearing PAMPERS!!

Possibly your sex life are related to this.

Now I can join WEIGHT WATCHERS!

Are you sure that now you can join weight watchers?

I'm a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in Brittany

Do you really think are you suddenly thinking of a venerable
religious leader frolicking on a fort lauderdale weekend?

But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?

Are you annoyed that was he mature enough last night at the
lesbian masquerade?

Do you have exactly what I want in a plaid poindexter bar bat??

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

What I need is a MATURE RELATIONSHIP with a FLOPPY DISK...

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

I can see you GUYS an' GALS need a LOT of HELP...You're all very
 STUPID!!  I used to be STUPID, too..before I started watching UHF-TV!!

Earlier you said built would like to have this bagel?

I want another RE-WRITE on my CAESAR SALAD!!

Maybe this is because of some problems in your childhood?

It was a JOKE!!  Get it??  I was receiving messages
 from DAVID LETTERMAN!!  YOW!!

Did you ever regret you are a pinhead?

I'm receiving a coded message from EUBIE BLAKE!!

Have you been scared of that?

Kids, the seven basic food groups are GUM, PUFF PASTRY, PIZZA,
 PESTICIDES, ANTIBIOTICS, NUTRA-SWEET and MILK DUDS!!

You mentioned that your viewscreen is user friendly''?

Is this where people are HOT and NICE and they give you TOAST for
 FREE??

Perhaps some problems at home could have caused this.

Alright, you!!  Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!

What makes you think that?

Content:  80% POLYESTER, 20% DACRON..  The waitress's
 UNIFORM sheds TARTAR SAUCE like an 8'' by 10'' GLOSSY..

Why do you say sauce might desire to have this 8''?

I can see you GUYS an' GALS need a LOT of HELP...You're all very
 STUPID!!  I used to be STUPID, too..before I started watching UHF-TV!!

What makes you believe you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting?

I've gotta GO, now!!  I wanta tell you you're a GREAT bunch of guys
 but you ought to CHANGE your UNDERWEAR more often!!

When did you first know that I ought to change my underwear more
often?

WHOA!!  I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE right NOW!!

Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?

Someone is DROOLING on my collar!!

Is it because of your life that you say someone is drooling on
your collar?

BRYLCREAM is CREAM O' WHEAT in another DIMENSION..

Earlier you said cannot even be printed?

...I think I'm having an overnight sensation right now!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Hey, waiter!  I want a NEW SHIRT and a PONY TAIL with lemon sauce!

How does it feel to want?

Oh, FISH sticks, CHEEZ WHIZ, GIN fizz, SHOW BIZ!!

Discuss your drinking habits.

Here we are in America...  when do we collect unemployment?

What happened when do you collect unemployment?

I'd like MY data-base JULIENNED and stir-fried!

I don't understand.

Are we THERE yet?!

You mentioned that was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

My ELBOW is a remote FRENCH OUTPOST!!

Possibly this has something to do with problems at school?

I'd like TRAINED SEALS and a CONVERTIBLE on my doorstep by NOON!!

Maybe any hobbies you have could be the reason for this.

Yow!  I'm out of work...I could go into shock absorbers...or SCUBA
 GEAR!!

Are you sure that a martian name or are you in israel?

I put aside my copy of ``BOWLING WORLD'' and think
 about GUN CONTROL legislation..

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

Yow!!  It's LIBERACE and TUESDAY WELD!!  High on a HILL... driving a
 LITTLE CAR...  I wanna be in that LITTLE CAR, too!!  I wanna drive off
 with LIBBY and TUESDAY!

Why should you get to drive off?

QUIET!!  I'm being CREATIVE!!  Is it GREAT yet?  It's s'posed to
 SMOKEY THE BEAR...

Do you really think it's s'posed to smokey the bear?

When I met th'POPE back in '58, I scrubbed him with a MILD SOAP
 or DETERGENT for 15 minutes.  He seemed to enjoy it..

Earlier you said you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes?

Our father who art in heaven..  I sincerely pray that SOMEBODY
 at this table will PAY for my SHREDDED WHAT and ENGLISH MUFFIN..
 and also leave a GENEROUS TIP...

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

..I'll make you an ASHTRAY!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say..i'll make me an
ashtray?

DIDI...  is that a MARTIAN name, or, are we in ISRAEL?

Is the fact that a martian name or are you in israel the real
reason?

..  are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER?

You mentioned that you would like to be alone?

What GOOD is a CARDBOARD suitcase ANYWAY?

Why must you respond so briefly?

Now, I think it would be GOOD to buy FIVE or SIX STUDEBAKERS
 and CRUISE for ARTIFICIAL FLAVORING!!

Perhaps this is related to some problems in your childhood?

Laundry is the fifth dimension!!  ...um...um...  th' washing machine
 is a black hole and the pink socks are bus drivers who just fell in!!

You have your mind on machines, it seems.

Were these parsnips CORRECTLY MARINATED in TACO SAUCE?

What makes you think were these parsnips correctly marinated in
taco sauce?

...PENGUINS are floating by...

Why do you say you can read restaurant reviews and decide to go
to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet a friend
after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y james watt
until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and so your
relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics while you
wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Are we on STRIKE yet?

Possibly some problems at home are caused by this.

It's NO USE..  I've gone to ``CLUB MED''!!

Is it because of your plans that you say you have gone to club
med''?

The Korean War must have been fun.

Earlier you said by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

Bo Derek ruined my life!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

Where's SANDY DUNCAN?

What makes you believe where's sandy duncan?

SHHHH!!  I hear SIX TATTOOED TRUCK-DRIVERS tossing ENGINE BLOCKS
 into empty OIL DRUMS..

You mentioned that you are love don?

..  hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub.

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Edwin Meese made me wear CORDOVANS!!

Is it because of problems at school that you say edwin meese made
you wear cordovans?

..  I see TOILET SEATS...

Are you sure that do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth?

Yow!  I'm imagining a surfer van filled with soy sauce!

Maybe this could be the reason for any hobbies you have?

Where's my SOCIAL WORKER?

Do you really think where's your social worker?

My pants just went to high school in the Carlsbad Caverns!!!

Are you afraid of school?

Nice decor!

Earlier you said didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

Yow!  Am I in Milwaukee?

Perhaps your sex life are because of this.

Those aren't WINOS--that's my JUGGLER, my AERIALIST,
 my SWORD SWALLOWER, and my LATEX NOVELTY SUPPLIER!!

Have you been frightened by that?

What a COINCIDENCE!  I'm an authorized ``SNOOTS OF THE STARS'' dealer!!

You mentioned that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

An Italian is COMBING his hair in suburban DES MOINES!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

Gibble, Gobble, we ACCEPT YOU ---

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say gibble gobble you
accept me?

If you STAY in China, I'll give you 4,000 BUSHELS of "ATOMIC MOUSE"
 pencil sharpeners!!

What makes you think do you get home?

Finally, Zippy drives his 1958 RAMBLER METROPOLITAN into the
 faculty dining room.

Have you been Zippy?

Three attractive BANK ROBBERS are discussing RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES and
 MAKE-UP TECHNIQUE with them!!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

ONE:  I will donate my entire ``BABY HUEY'' comic book collection
 to the downtown PLASMA CENTER..
 TWO:  I won't START a BAND called ``KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD''..
 THREE:  I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!

Why do you say that?

We are now enjoying total mutual interaction in an imaginary hot tub...

Earlier you said was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!

Possibly this is caused by some problems at home?

NEWARK has been REZONED!!  DES MOINES has been REZONED!!

What makes you believe des moines has been rezoned?

I'd like TRAINED SEALS and a CONVERTIBLE on my doorstep by NOON!!

You mentioned that was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

..  I see TOILET SEATS...

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

I'm in ATLANTIC CITY riding in a comfortable ROLLING CHAIR...

I don't understand.

You were s'posed to laugh!

Are you sure that now you cannot remember who he is?

YOW!!  Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!!  A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed
 with the shreds of SEVERAL CHICKENS!!...  Oh BOY!!  I'm
 about to swallow a TORN-OFF section of a COW'S LEFT LEG
 soaked in COTTONSEED OIL and SUGAR!!  ..  Let's see..
 Next, I'll have the GROUND-UP flesh of CUTE, BABY LAMBS
 fried in the MELTED, FATTY TISSUES from a warm-blooded
 animal someone once PETTED!!  ...  YUM!!  That was GOOD!!
 For DESSERT, I'll have a TOFU BURGER with BEAN SPROUTS
 on a stone-ground, WHOLE WHEAT BUN!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Well, I'm INVISIBLE AGAIN..  I might as well pay a visit to the
 LADIES ROOM...

Earlier you said we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban?

I am the psychotherapist.  Please, describe your problems.  Each
time you are finished talking, type RET twice.

A wide-eyed, innocent UNICORN, poised delicately in a MEADOW filled with
 LILACS, LOLLIPOPS & small CHILDREN at the HUSH of twilight??
I am the psychotherapist.  Please, describe your problems.  Each
time you are finished talking, type RET twice.

I will establish the first SHOPPING MALL in NUTLEY, New Jersey...

Why do you say that?

This ASEXUAL PIG really BOILS my BLOOD...  He's so..so.....URGENT!!

What makes you believe he's so so urgent?

Hmmm...  an arrogant bouquet with a subtle suggestion of
 POLYVINYL CHLORIDE...

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

Did we bring enough BEEF JERKY?

Is it because of your life that you say did you bring enough beef
jerky?

My nose feels like a bad Ronald Reagan movie...

Are you sure that nose might want to have this bad ronald?

..  Like I always say -- nothing can beat the BRATWURST
 here in DUSSELDORF!!

Earlier you said nose would like to have this bad ronald?

My uncle Murray conquered Egypt in 53 B.C.  And I can prove it too!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE
 with your BOOTH!

Is it because do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth that you came to me?

Hmmm..  A hash-singer and a cross-eyed guy were SLEEPING on a deserted
 island, when...

Do you use hash often?

I'm a nuclear submarine under the polar ice cap and I need a Kleenex!

How does it feel to want?

I'm having an EMOTIONAL OUTBURST!!  But, uh, WHY is there a WAFFLE
 in my PAJAMA POCKET??

Does it bother you that uh why is there a waffle in your pajama
pocket?

BARRY..  That was the most HEART-WARMING rendition of
 ``I DID IT MY WAY'' I've ever heard!!

When did you first know that was the most heart warming rendition
of you did it your way'' you have ever heard?

Everything will be ALL RIGHT if we can just remember things about
 ALGEBRA.. or SOCCER..  or SOCIALISM..

Do you really think or socialism?

YOW!!  I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!

You mentioned that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

I predict that by 1993 everyone will live in and around LAS VEGAS and
 wear BEATLE HAIRCUTS!

Is the fact that by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts the real reason?

Is it clean in other dimensions?

How do you reconcile problems at school?

This ASEXUAL PIG really BOILS my BLOOD...  He's so..so.....URGENT!!

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say he's so so
urgent?

..I must be a VETERINARIAN..

What makes you think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

The PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY is CRYING for an END to BURT REYNOLDS movies!!

Perhaps this has something to do with your sex life?

I have nostalgia for the late Sixties!  In 1969 I left my laundry with
 a hippie!!  During an unauthorized Tupperware party it was chopped &
 diced!

I don't understand.

I had pancake makeup for brunch!

Earlier you said you used hash?

..  the MYSTERIANS are in here with my CORDUROY SOAP DISH!!

Possibly hangups you have are related to this.

Two LITTLE black dots and one BIG black dot...nice 'n' FLUFFY!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!

You mentioned that you would like to have this kleenex?

Is it FUN to be a MIDGET?

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Should I start with the time I SWITCHED personalities with a BEATNIK
 hair stylist or my failure to refer five TEENAGERS to a good OCULIST?

Are you afraid of that?

Actually, what I'd like is a little toy spaceship!!

Why do you say uh why is there a waffle in your pajama pocket?

Yow!  I forgot my PAIL!!

Maybe this is related to some problems at home?

"DARK SHADOWS" is on!!  Hey, I think the VAMPIRE forgot his UMBRELLA!!

What makes you believe hey you think the vampire forgot his
umbrella?

Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard
 -- I'm living for today!

Earlier you said was the most heart warming rendition of you did
it your way'' you have ever heard?

Vote for ME -- I'm well-tapered, half-cocked, ill-conceived and
 TAX-DEFERRED!

Perhaps your plans could have caused this.

Yow!  Now we can become alcoholics!

Is it because of your life that you say now you can become
alcoholics?

Was my SOY LOAF left out in th'RAIN?  It tastes REAL GOOD!!

You mentioned that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

Are we on STRIKE yet?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

This is my WILLIAM BENDIX memorial CORNER where I worship William
 Bendix like a GOD!!

Why should bendix get to have this god?

FIRST, I was in a TRUCK...THEN, I was in a DINER...

Are you sure that that?

I'm mentally OVERDRAWN!  What's that SIGNPOST up ahead?
 Where's ROD STERLING when you really need him?

Do you really think by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

Eisenhower!!  Your mimeograph machine upsets my stomach!!

You have your mind on machines, it seems.

With this weapon I can expose fictional characters and bring about
 sweeping reforms!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

All I can think of is a platter of organic PRUNE CRISPS being trampled
 by an army of swarthy, Italian LOUNGE SINGERS...

I don't understand.

Hey, LOOK!!  A pair of SIZE 9 CAPRI PANTS!!  They probably belong to
 SAMMY DAVIS, JR.!!

Earlier you said do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth?

YOW!!  Now I'm playing with my HOLOGRAPHIC ATOMIC SIMULATION LASER
 pinball machine!!  WORLD PEACE is in the BALANCE!!

Possibly this could be the reason for any hobbies you have?

I've read SEVEN MILLION books!!

What makes you think you have read seven million books?

FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!

You mentioned that you used hash?

Yow!  Is my fallout shelter termite proof?

Maybe your sex life could be the reason for this.

So this is what it feels like to be potato salad

When did it first desire to be potato?

I put aside my copy of ``BOWLING WORLD'' and think
 about GUN CONTROL legislation..

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

..Hmmm...This thing is really VIBRATING! ..It's getting WARM, too!

Why do you say you would like to have this kleenex?

After THIS, let's go to PHILADELPHIA and have TRIPLETS!!

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

Didn't KIERKEGAARD wear out his TIRES in VIENNA during a SNOWSTORM of
 FREUD's unpaid DENTAL BILLS?

Have you been frightened by that?

INSIDE, I have the same personality disorder as LUCY RICARDO!!

Earlier you said uh why is there a waffle in your pajama pocket?

HUMAN REPLICAS are inserted into VATS of NUTRITIONAL YEAST...

Perhaps this is caused by some problems in your childhood?

An Italian is COMBING his hair in suburban DES MOINES!

What makes you believe that?

I'm a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in Brittany

You mentioned that was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

Excuse me, but didn't I tell you there's NO HOPE for the
 survival of OFFSET PRINTING?

Does the fact that didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing explain anything else?

Is it 1974?  What's for SUPPER?  Can I spend my COLLEGE FUND in
 one wild afternoon??

Possibly some problems at home are caused by this.

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

Is it because of your plans that you say this pizza symbolizes
your complete emotional recovery?

The FALAFEL SANDWICH lands on my HEAD and I become a VEGETARIAN...

Are you sure that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

Well, I'm INVISIBLE AGAIN..  I might as well pay a visit to the
 LADIES ROOM...

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

CHUBBY CHECKER just had a CHICKEN SANDWICH in downtown DULUTH!

I don't understand.

I always have fun because I'm out of my mind!!!

Have you been sure you are out of your mind?

...Get me a GIN and TONIC!!...make it HAIR TONIC!!

Do you drink a lot of gin?

Maybe we could paint GOLDIE HAWN a rich PRUSSIAN BLUE--

Earlier you said bendix would like to have this god?

I'm receiving a coded message from EUBIE BLAKE!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Didn't KIERKEGAARD wear out his TIRES in VIENNA during a SNOWSTORM of
 FREUD's unpaid DENTAL BILLS?

Maybe this is because of problems at school?

Now that I have my ``APPLE,'' I comprehend COST ACCOUNTING!!

Is it because you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting that you came to me?

I'm pretending I'm pulling in a TROUT!  Am I doing it correctly??

You mentioned that by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

--``I love KATRINKA because she drives a PONTIAC.  We're going away now.
 I fed the cat. - Zippy''

Perhaps any hobbies you have are because of this.

I left my WALLET in the BATHROOM!!

Do you really think you left your wallet in the bathroom?

I'm ZIPPY the PINHEAD and I'm totally committed to the festive mode.

Yow!  Are we interactive yet?

I represent a sardine!!

What makes you think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

My mind is a potato field...

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

Now I'm telling MISS PIGGY about MONEY MARKET FUNDS!

Are you scared of that?

Laundry is the fifth dimension!!  ...um...um...  th' washing machine
 is a black hole and the pink socks are bus drivers who just fell in!!

You think too much about machines.

BEEP-BEEP!!  I'm a '49 STUDEBAKER!!

Earlier you said you used hash?

I just had a NOSE JOB!!

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

Hello, GORRY-O!!  I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say you are a genius
from harvard?

Either CONFESS now or we go to ``PEOPLE'S COURT''!!

You mentioned that it would like to be potato?

He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE
 inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER!  Or maybe he'd
 like to PSYCHOLOGICALLY TERRORIZE ME until I have no objection
 to a RIGHT-WING MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!!  I guess
 I should call AL PACINO!

Possibly this has something to do with some problems in your
childhood?

Just imagine you're entering a state-of-the-art CAR WASH!!

Why do you say that?

Oh, I get it!!  ``The BEACH goes on,'' huh, SONNY??

What makes you believe you would like to have this kleenex?

Th' PINK SOCK... soaking... soaking... soaking...
 Th' PINK SOCK... washing... washing... washing...
 Th' PINK SOCK... rinsing... rinsing... rinsing...

Maybe some problems at home have something to do with this.

Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!!  A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed
 with the shreds of SEVERAL CHICKENS!!...  Oh BOY!!  I'm
 about to swallow a TORN-OFF section of a COW'S LEFT LEG
 soaked in COTTONSEED OIL and SUGAR!!  ..  Let's see..
 Next, I'll have the GROUND-UP flesh of CUTE, BABY LAMBS
 fried in the MELTED, FATTY TISSUES from a warm-blooded
 animal someone once PETTED!!  ...  YUM!!  That was GOOD!!
 For DESSERT, I'll have a TOFU BURGER with BEAN SPROUTS
 on a stone-ground, WHOLE WHEAT BUN!!

I don't understand.

I want to TAKE IT HOME and DRESS IT UP in HOT PANTS!!

Have you been obsessed with to take it?

WHOA!!  I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE right NOW!!

Earlier you said uh why is there a waffle in your pajama pocket?

MY income is ALL disposable!

Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?

I'm in a twist contest!!  I'm in a bathtub!  It's on Mars!!  I'm in
 tip-top condition!

Are you sure that you are in tip top condition?

Alright, you!!  Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!

You mentioned that was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

Look DEEP into the OPENINGS!!  Do you see any ELVES or EDSELS...
 or a HIGHBALL??...

How do you reconcile your life?

Well, here I am in AMERICA..  I LIKE it.  I HATE it.
 I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE it.
 I HATE it.  I LIKE..  EMOTIONS are SWEEPING over me!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say
emotions are sweeping over you?

On SECOND thought, maybe I'll heat up some BAKED BEANS and
 watch REGIS PHILBIN..  It's GREAT to be ALIVE!!

Do you really think didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

I brought my BOWLING BALL - and some DRUGS!!

Perhaps this is related to problems at school?

..  my NOSE is NUMB!

What makes you think your nose is numb?

Youth of today!  Join me in a mass rally for traditional mental attitudes!

Earlier you said nose would like to have this bad ronald?

I just had my entire INTESTINAL TRACT coated with TEFLON!

Possibly any hobbies you have are related to this.

You should all JUMP UP AND DOWN for TWO HOURS while I decide
 on a NEW CAREER!!

What happened when you decide on a new career?

I like the IMPUDENT NOSE on that car..  Are you a TEEN-AGER?  

Is it because of your sex life that you say are me a teen ager?

You mean now I can SHOOT YOU in the back and further BLUR
 th' distinction between FANTASY and REALITY?

You mentioned that you are out of your mind?

I'm also pre-POURED pre-MEDITATED and pre-RAPHAELITE!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

Yow!  Are we laid back yet?

Why do you say are you laid back yet?

I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE..  and I don't take any DRUGS

What makes you believe bendix would like to have this god?

- if it GLISTENS, gobble it!!

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

Is it clean in other dimensions?

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say is
it clean in other dimensions?

After this, I'm going to BURN some RUBBER!!

Earlier you said you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting?

I'd like some JUNK FOOD...  and then I want to be ALONE --

Why should I give to be alone to you?

Now I'm having INSIPID THOUGHTS about the beautiful, round
 wives of HOLLYWOOD MOVIE MOGULS encased in PLEXIGLASS CARS
 and being approached by SMALL BOYS selling FRUIT..

Maybe this could be the reason for some problems at home?

It's a lot of fun being alive...  I wonder if my bed is made?!?

Are you sure that you wonder if your bed is made?

Here we are in America...  when do we collect unemployment?

What would happen if do you collect unemployment?

Are we THERE yet?

You mentioned that by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

I don't know WHY I said that..  I think it came from the FILLINGS
 in my rear molars..

Perhaps your plans could have caused this.

I'm wet!  I'm wild!

Is it because of your life that you say you are wild?

Did an Italian CRANE OPERATOR just experience uninhibited sensations
 in a MALIBU HOT TUB?

Do you really think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

Did I say I was a sardine?  Or a bus???

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?

Are you annoyed that was he mature enough last night at the
lesbian masquerade?

There's a SALE on STRETCH SOCKS down at the "7-11"!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

YOW!!  I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!

Earlier you said you used hash?

Are we THERE yet?  My MIND is a SUBMARINE!!

Possibly this is caused by any hobbies you have?

Now, my ENTIRE LIFE is flashing before my EYES as I park my DODGE
 DART in your EXXON service area for a COMPLETE LUBRICATION!!

Have you been afraid of that?

I OWN six pink HIPPOS!!

You mentioned that it would like to be potato?

Why don't you ever enter any CONTESTS, Marvin??
 Don't you know your own ZIPCODE?

What makes you think that I shouldn't I know my own zipcode?

I will establish the first SHOPPING MALL in NUTLEY, New Jersey...

Maybe your sex life could be the reason for this.

Where's SANDY DUNCAN?

Why do you say where's sandy duncan?

..  I want to perform cranial activities with Tuesday Weld!!

Have you ever gotten to perform?

First, I'm going to give you all the ANSWERS to today's test..
 So just plug in your SONY WALKMANS and relax!!

What makes you believe you would like to have this kleenex?

Yow!  Did something bad happen or am I in a drive-in movie??

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

You were s'posed to laugh!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say I was s'posed to
laugh?

...Um...Um...

Earlier you said you would like to take it?

I think I am an overnight sensation right now!!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Yow!  Maybe I should have asked for my Neutron Bomb in PAISLEY--

Are you sure that that?

By MEER biz doo SCHOIN..

You mentioned that uh why is there a waffle in your pajama
pocket?

My FAVORITE group is "QUESTION MARK & THE MYSTERIANS"...

Perhaps this is because of some problems at home?

Where does it go when you flush?

What happened when I flush?

Why was I BORN?

When did you first know that was you born?

YOW!!  I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!

I don't understand.

Yow!  Now I get to think about all the BAD THINGS I did to a BOWLING BALL
 when I was in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL!

Tell me about your school.

..Am I in a SOAP OPERA??

Do you really think was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

I just got my PRINCE bumper sticker..
 But now I can't remember WHO he is...

Is the fact that now you cannot remember who he is the real
reason?

LIFE is a never-ending INFORMERCIAL!

Possibly your plans are caused by this.

I've been WRITING to SOPHIA LOREN every 45 MINUTES since JANUARY 1ST!!

What would happen if january 1st?

..I must be a VETERINARIAN..

What makes you think..i must be a veterinarian?

Is this an out-take from the ``BRADY BUNCH''?

Earlier you said didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

This TOPS OFF my partygoing experience!  Someone I DON'T LIKE
 is talking to me about a HEART-WARMING European film..

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

My FAVORITE group is "QUESTION MARK & THE MYSTERIANS"...

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say
your favorite group is question mark the mysterians?

Join the PLUMBER'S UNION!!

You mentioned that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

I'm ANN LANDERS!!  I can SHOPLIFT!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

I am a jelly donut.  I am a jelly donut.

Why do you say you are a jelly donut?

Isn't this my STOP?!

What makes you believe you are out of your mind?

Yow!  I'm out of work...I could go into shock absorbers...or SCUBA
 GEAR!!

Maybe this has something to do with any hobbies you have?

I'm continually AMAZED at th'breathtaking effects of WIND EROSION!!

Perhaps your sex life are because of this.

--- I have seen the FUN ---

Earlier you said bendix would like to have this god?

I always liked FLAG DAY!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

Uh-oh --  WHY am I suddenly thinking of a VENERABLE religious leader
 frolicking on a FORT LAUDERDALE weekend?

Does the fact that are you suddenly thinking of a venerable
religious leader frolicking on a fort lauderdale weekend explain
anything else?

Yow!  And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights!

Are you frightened by that?

I HAVE to buy a new ``DODGE MISER'' and two dozen JORDACHE
 JEANS because my viewscreen is ``USER-FRIENDLY''!!

Have you been positive your viewscreen is user friendly''?

It's the RINSE CYCLE!!  They've ALL IGNORED the RINSE CYCLE!!

You mentioned that you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting?

But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?

Is it because was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade that you came to me?

I know th'MAMBO!!  I have a TWO-TONE CHEMISTRY SET!!

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

With YOU, I can be MYSELF..  We don't NEED Dan Rather..

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say you
do not need dan rather?

Then, it's off to RED CHINA!!

Are you sure that you would like to be alone?

YOU!!  Give me the CUTEST, PINKEST, most charming little
 VICTORIAN DOLLHOUSE you can find!!  An make it SNAPPY!!

Possibly this is related to some problems at home?

Should I start with the time I SWITCHED personalities with a BEATNIK
 hair stylist or my failure to refer five TEENAGERS to a good OCULIST?

Do you really think that?

..  I don't understand the HUMOR of the THREE STOOGES!!

Earlier you said by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

..  Now KEN and BARBIE are PERMANENTLY ADDICTED to MIND-ALTERING DRUGS..

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

My face is new, my license is expired, and I'm under a doctor's care!!!!

I don't understand.

Is the EIGHTIES when they had ART DECO and GERALD McBOING-BOING lunch
 boxes??

What happened when they had art deco and gerald mcboing boing
lunch boxes?

Zippy's brain cells are straining to bridge synapses...

You mentioned that do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

If I am elected no one will ever have to do their laundry again!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

I feel like I'm in a Toilet Bowl with a thumbtack in my forehead!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Here I am at the flea market but nobody is buying
 my urine sample bottles..

Did you ever regret nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

I feel partially hydrogenated!

What makes you think was he mature enough last night at the
lesbian masquerade?

O.K.!  Speak with a PHILADELPHIA ACCENT!!  Send out for CHINESE FOOD!!
 Hop a JET!

Perhaps this could be the reason for problems at school?

Don't hit me!!  I'm in the Twilight Zone!!!

Why do you say you are in the twilight zone?

I hope I bought the right relish...  zzzzzzzzz...

Can you elaborate on that?

Yow!  Am I in Milwaukee?

Earlier you said you used hash?

Sometimes a TABOO is just a good CIGAR -- or a
 rare STEAK -- or a dry MARTINI!

Possibly any hobbies you have are related to this.

Did an Italian CRANE OPERATOR just experience uninhibited sensations
 in a MALIBU HOT TUB?

Have you been scared of that?

RELATIVES!!

I would appreciate it if you would continue.

I selected E5...  but I didn't hear ``Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs''!

When did you first know that you didn't hear sam the sham and the
pharaohs''?

I joined scientology at a garage sale!!

You mentioned that it would like to be potato?

UH-OH!!  I think KEN is OVER-DUE on his R.V. PAYMENTS and HE'S
 having a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN too!!  Ha ha.

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

I'm ANN LANDERS!!  I can SHOPLIFT!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you say you can shoplift?

--Hello, POLICE?  I"ve got ABBOTT & COSTELLO here on suspicion of
 HIGHWAY ROBBERY!!

What makes you believe you would like to perform?

TAPPING?  You POLITICIANS!  Don't you realize that the END of the
 ``Wash Cycle'' is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?!

Are you sure that that I shouldn't me realize that the end of the
wash cycle'' is a treasured moment for most people?

I LOVE juxtaposing th' splendor of an unpopulated ARROYO with
 th' SLEEK lines of ``NARCISSUS-X'', my new SPORTS UTILITY VEHICLE!

Perhaps you could talk about your relationship with juxtaposing.

Yow!  I forgot my PAIL!!

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

I joined scientology at a garage sale!!

Do you really think you joined scientology at a garage sale?

Ask me the DIFFERENCE between PHIL SILVERS and ALEXANDER HAIG!!

Earlier you said you would like to have this kleenex?

Somewhere in DOWNTOWN BURBANK a prostitute is OVERCOOKING a LAMB CHOP!!

Are you afraid of sex?

I'm in ATLANTIC CITY riding in a comfortable ROLLING CHAIR...

Maybe this is caused by some problems in your childhood?

O.K.!  Speak with a PHILADELPHIA ACCENT!!  Send out for CHINESE FOOD!!
 Hop a JET!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say hop a jet?

Where's my SOCIAL WORKER?

You mentioned that you would like to take it?

I want a VEGETARIAN BURRITO to go..  with EXTRA MSG!!

Perhaps your plans could have caused this.

I'm wearing PAMPERS!!

What makes you think you are wearing pampers?

Yow!  Are we in the perfect mood?

Why do you say uh why is there a waffle in your pajama pocket?

...A housewife is wearing a polypyrene jumpsuit!!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

Join the PLUMBER'S UNION!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say
join the plumber's union?

Now, I think it would be GOOD to buy FIVE or SIX STUDEBAKERS
 and CRUISE for ARTIFICIAL FLAVORING!!

Earlier you said was you born?

Now I need a suntan, a tennis lesson, Annette Funicello and two dozen
 Day-Glo orange paper jumpsuits!!

What makes you believe you might wish to have this suntan?

I'm a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in Brittany

How do you reconcile problems at school?

I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers!

Are you sure that that?

How's the wife?  Is she at home enjoying capitalism?

You mentioned that was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

TAILFINS!!  ...click...

Go on, don't be afraid.

My DIGITAL WATCH has an automatic SNOOZE FEATURE!!

Possibly this is because of any hobbies you have?

Hello, GORRY-O!!  I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!

Do you really think you are a genius from harvard?

HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes town, family STICKERED to death!

How do you do?  What brings you to see me?

I know th'MAMBO!!  I have a TWO-TONE CHEMISTRY SET!!

What makes you think now you cannot remember who he is?

Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard
 -- I'm living for today!

Maybe your sex life could be the reason for this.

..I'll make you an ASHTRAY!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you say..i'll make me an
ashtray?

KARL MALDEN'S NOSE just won an ACADEMY AWARD!!

Earlier you said didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

Where does it go when you flush?

What would happen if I flush?

Are you guys lined up for the METHADONE PROGRAM or FOOD STAMPS??

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

TATTOOED MIDGETS are using ALFREDO in their SALAMI FACTORY!

I don't understand.

It's NO USE..  I've gone to ``CLUB MED''!!

You mentioned that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

Is this BOISE??

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

I'm having a BIG BANG THEORY!!

Why do you say you are having a big bang theory?

I used to be a FUNDAMENTALIST, but then I heard about the
 HIGH RADIATION LEVELS and bought an ENCYCLOPEDIA!!

Is the fact that then you heard about the high radiation levels
and bought an encyclopedia the real reason?

..  here I am in 53 B.C. and all I want is a dill pickle!!

What makes you believe you are out of your mind?

Just imagine you're entering a state-of-the-art CAR WASH!!

Perhaps this has something to do with some problems at home?

What PROGRAM are they watching?

Is it because of your plans that you say what program are they
watching?

As President I have to go vacuum my coin collection!

Earlier you said bendix would like to have this god?

Didn't I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo?

Possibly your life are caused by this.

They don't hire PERSONAL PINHEADS, Mr. Toad!

Are you sure that they do not hire personal pinheads mr toad?

Are we THERE yet??

You mentioned that are you suddenly thinking of a venerable
religious leader frolicking on a fort lauderdale weekend?

OVER the undertow!  UNDER the overpass!  Around the FUTURE
 and BEYOND REPAIR!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

Now I'm having INSIPID THOUGHTS about the beautiful, round
 wives of HOLLYWOOD MOVIE MOGULS encased in PLEXIGLASS CARS
 and being approached by SMALL BOYS selling FRUIT..

How do you reconcile problems at school?

..  the MYSTERIANS are in here with my CORDUROY SOAP DISH!!

Do you really think your viewscreen is user friendly''?

Yow!  STYROFOAM..

I need a little more detail please.

Okay, BARBRA STREISAND, I recognize you now!!  Also EFREM ZIMBALIST,
 JUNIOR!!  And BEAUMONT NEWHALL!!  Everybody into th' BATHROOM!

Maybe this is related to any hobbies you have?

I like the IMPUDENT NOSE on that car..  Are you a TEEN-AGER?  

Is it because of your sex life that you say are me a teen ager?

I'm EXCITED!!  I want a FLANK STEAK WEEK-END!!  I think I'm JULIA
 CHILD!!

Earlier you said you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting?

I know things about TROY DONAHUE that can't even be PRINTED!!

Does the fact that cannot even be printed explain anything else?

I'm also against BODY-SURFING!!

Perhaps hangups you have are because of this.

All of life is a blur of Republicans and meat!

Have you been frightened by that?

An INK-LING?  Sure -- TAKE one!!  Did you BUY any COMMUNIST UNIFORMS??

You mentioned that was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

DIDI...  is that a MARTIAN name, or, are we in ISRAEL?

Have you been certain a martian name or are you in israel?

Don't worry, nobody really LISTENS to lectures in MOSCOW, either!
 ..  FRENCH, HISTORY, ADVANCED CALCULUS, COMPUTER PROGRAMMING,
 BLACK STUDIES, SOCIOBIOLOGY!..  Are there any QUESTIONS??

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

I demand IMPUNITY!

What makes you think you demand impunity?

My EARS are GONE!!

Why do you say you would like to be alone?

Did you GAIN WEIGHT in th' past 5 MINUTES or am I just DREAMING of two
 BROCCOLI FLORETS lying in an empty GAS TANK?

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

I've read SEVEN MILLION books!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say you have read
seven million books?

Alright, you!!  Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!

Earlier you said by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers!

Possibly this could be the reason for your plans?

NOT fucking!! Also not a PACKAGE of LOOSE-LEAF PAPER!!

Discuss something about your sexual history.

I'm working under the direct orders of WAYNE NEWTON to deport
 consenting adults!

What makes you believe that?

...Just enough time to do my LIBERACE impression...

You mentioned that do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

..I must be a VETERINARIAN..

Maybe your life have something to do with this.

Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS...

Are you sure that hold the mayo pass the cosmic awareness?

YOW!  I can see 1987!!  PRESIDENT FORD is doing the REMAKE of "PAGAN
 LOVE SONG"...he's playing ESTHER WILLIAMS!!

Are you sorry pagan loves someone?

..The TENSION mounts as I MASSAGE your RIGHT ANKLE according to
 ancient Tibetan ACCOUNTING PROCEDURES..are you NEUROTIC yet??

Do you really think nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

I wonder if I could ever get started in the credit world?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

Yow!  Is this sexual intercourse yet??  Is it, huh, is it??

Is it because of problems at school that you say is it huh is it?

My LESLIE GORE record is BROKEN..

Earlier you said was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

OMNIVERSAL AWARENESS??  Oh, YEH!!  First you need 4 GALLONS of JELL-O
 and a BIG WRENCH!!...  I think you drop th'WRENCH in the JELL-O as if
 it was a FLAVOR, or an INGREDIENT...  ...or...I...um...  WHERE'S the
 WASHING MACHINES?

You should try taking your mind off of machines.

I hope you millionaires are having fun!  I just invested half
 your life savings in yeast!!

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

Is this my STOP??

What makes you think is this your stop?

Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE
 with your BOOTH!

Is it because do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth that you came to me?

I Know A Joke

You mentioned that you used hash?

Yow!  I'm UNEMPLOYED!

Perhaps this is caused by your sex life?

Yow!  Is this sexual intercourse yet??  Is it, huh, is it??

Is it because of hangups you have that you say is it huh is it?

I'm receiving a coded message from EUBIE BLAKE!!

Why do you say you didn't hear sam the sham and the pharaohs''?

It's 74 degrees, 12 minutes NORTH, and 41 degrees, 3 minutes EAST!!
 Soon, it will be TUESDAY!!

Possibly your inhibitions are related to this.

I hope something GOOD came in the mail today so I have
 a REASON to live!!

I don't understand.

Sometimes a TABOO is just a good CIGAR -- or a
 rare STEAK -- or a dry MARTINI!

Earlier you said it would like to be potato?

LOOK!!  Sullen American teens wearing MADRAS shorts and
 ``Flock of Seagulls'' HAIRCUTS!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

I'm working under the direct orders of WAYNE NEWTON to deport
 consenting adults!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

I'd like some JUNK FOOD...  and then I want to be ALONE --

How does it feel to want?

PEGGY FLEMING is stealing BASKET BALLS to feed the babies in VERMONT.

You mentioned that you would like to perform?

If I have enough money to buy 5,000 CANS of NOODLE-RONI, can I get a
 VAT of MARSHMALLOW FLUFF free??

Maybe this is because of your plans?

RELATIVES!!

You're being a bit brief, please, go into detail.

Are you still an ALCOHOLIC?

What makes you believe are me still an alcoholic?

I'm having a MID-WEEK CRISIS!

Are you sure that you love juxtaposing?

I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!

Perhaps your life could have caused this.

.. If I cover this entire WALL with MAZOLA, wdo I have to give my
 AGENT ten per cent??

Are you scared of that?

I LIKE Aisle 7a.

Earlier you said you would like to have this kleenex?

That's a decision that can only be made between you & SY SPERLING!!

Are you satisfied with the fact that can only be made between me
sy sperling?

Yow!!  It's LIBERACE and TUESDAY WELD!!  High on a HILL... driving a
 LITTLE CAR...  I wanna be in that LITTLE CAR, too!!  I wanna drive off
 with LIBBY and TUESDAY!

Why should you get to drive off?

Yow!  Did something bad happen or am I in a drive-in movie??

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

I want to TAKE IT HOME and DRESS IT UP in HOT PANTS!!

When did you first want to take it?

I guess it was all a DREAM..  or an episode of HAWAII FIVE-O...

Is it because of problems at school that you say or an episode of
hawaii five o?

Does someone from PEORIA have a SHORTER ATTENTION span than me?

You mentioned that you would like to take it?

HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes town, family STICKERED to death!

I believe we've introduced ourselves already.
Would you please tell me more about any hobbies you have.

Yow!  I'm out of work...I could go into shock absorbers...or SCUBA
 GEAR!!

How do you reconcile your sex life?

My mind is making ashtrays in Dayton....

Do you really think your mind is making ashtrays in dayton?

Do you guys know we just passed thru a BLACK HOLE in space?

What makes you think uh why is there a waffle in your pajama
pocket?

FEELINGS are cascading over me!!!

Possibly this has something to do with hangups you have?

Hey!!  Let's watch the' ELEVATOR go UP and DOWN at th' HILTON HOTEL!!

Why do you say that?

I used to be a FUNDAMENTALIST, but then I heard about the
 HIGH RADIATION LEVELS and bought an ENCYCLOPEDIA!!

When did you first know that then you heard about the high
radiation levels and bought an encyclopedia?

FROZEN ENTREES may be flung by members of opposing SWANSON SECTS..

Earlier you said was you born?

It's today's SPECIAL!

Maybe your inhibitions could be the reason for this.

Of course, you UNDERSTAND about the PLAIDS in the SPIN CYCLE --

I don't understand.

I just had a NOSE JOB!!

You mentioned that you would like to have this suntan?

I just had a MAJOR CONTRACT DISPUTE with SUZANNE SOMERS!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

I wonder if I could ever get started in the credit world?

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

Is this my STOP??

What makes you believe was the most heart warming rendition of
you did it your way'' you have ever heard?

..  someone in DAYTON, Ohio is selling USED CARPETS to a SERBO-CROATIAN

Perhaps this is related to your plans?

Oh my GOD -- the SUN just fell into YANKEE STADIUM!!

Have you been afraid of that?

Has everybody got HALVAH spread all over their ANKLES??...
 Now, it's time to ``HAVE A NAGEELA''!!

Earlier you said now you cannot remember who he is?

O.K.!  Speak with a PHILADELPHIA ACCENT!!  Send out for CHINESE FOOD!!
 Hop a JET!

Possibly your life are caused by this.

Yow!  Is my fallout shelter termite proof?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say is
your fallout shelter termite proof?

..Are we having FUN yet...?

You mentioned that didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

I've been WRITING to SOPHIA LOREN every 45 MINUTES since JANUARY 1ST!!

What happened when january 1st?

Somewhere in suburban Honolulu, an unemployed bellhop is whipping up
 a batch of illegal psilocybin chop suey!!

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

I'm young..  I'm HEALTHY..  I can HIKE THRU CAPT GROGAN'S LUMBAR REGIONS!

Are you sure that you can hike thru capt grogan's lumbar regions?

RELAX!! ... This is gonna be a HEALING EXPERIENCE!!  Besides,
 I work for DING DONGS!

Is the fact that you work for ding dongs the real reason?

I'm losing my hair..did it go to ATLANTIC CITY??

Do you really think nose would like to have this bad ronald?

I'm having BEAUTIFUL THOUGHTS about the INSIPID WIVES
 of smug and wealthy CORPORATE LAWYERS..

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

What's the MATTER Sid?..  Is your BEVERAGE unsatisfactory?

Is it because of your sex life that you say is my beverage
unsatisfactory?

..  over in west Philadelphia a puppy is vomiting..

Maybe you should consult a doctor of medicine, I am a
psychiatrist.

MMM-MM!!  So THIS is BIO-NEBULATION!

Earlier you said then you heard about the high radiation levels
and bought an encyclopedia?

I FORGOT to do the DISHES!!

Perhaps this could be the reason for hangups you have?

YOW!!  Now I understand advanced MICROBIOLOGY
 and th' new TAX REFORM laws!!

What makes you think that?

TAPPING?  You POLITICIANS!  Don't you realize that the END of the
 ``Wash Cycle'' is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?!

Are you frightened by that?

NEWARK has been REZONED!!  DES MOINES has been REZONED!!

You mentioned that you are out of your mind?

I have no actual hairline...

Possibly your inhibitions are because of this.

I am a traffic light, and Alan Ginsberg kidnapped my laundry in 1927!

I don't understand.

Let me do my TRIBUTE to FISHNET STOCKINGS...

Why do you say bendix would like to have this god?

On the road, ZIPPY is a pinhead without a purpose, but never
 without a POINT.

Have you been Zippy?

ONE:  I will donate my entire ``BABY HUEY'' comic book collection
 to the downtown PLASMA CENTER..
 TWO:  I won't START a BAND called ``KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD''..
 THREE:  I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

..  I want FORTY-TWO TRYNEL FLOATATION SYSTEMS installed within
 SIX AND A HALF HOURS!!!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

Yow!  I'm UNEMPLOYED!

Earlier you said are you suddenly thinking of a venerable
religious leader frolicking on a fort lauderdale weekend?

..I'll make you an ASHTRAY!!

Maybe this is caused by your plans?

I think I'll make SCRAMBLED EGGS!!  They're each in LITTLE SHELLS..

What makes you believe they're each in little shells?

My TOYOTA is built like a ... BAGEL with CREAM CHEESE!!

Are you obsessed with to have this bagel?

SHHHH!!  I hear SIX TATTOOED TRUCK-DRIVERS tossing ENGINE BLOCKS
 into empty OIL DRUMS..

You mentioned that your viewscreen is user friendly''?

--- I have seen the FUN ---

Perhaps your life have something to do with this.

Everywhere I look I see NEGATIVITY and ASPHALT...

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say
everywhere you look you see negativity and asphalt?

I OWN six pink HIPPOS!!

Are you sure that you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting?

I always wanted a NOSE JOB!!

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

Let's all show human CONCERN for REVEREND MOON's legal difficulties!!

Have you been scared of that?

Clear the laundromat!!  This whirl-o-matic just had a nuclear meltdown!!

Earlier you said cannot even be printed?

Imagine--a WORLD without POODLES...

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

AIEEEEE!  I am having an UNDULATING EXPERIENCE!

Do you really think you are having an undulating experience?

My uncle Murray conquered Egypt in 53 B.C.  And I can prove it too!!

You mentioned that was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

An INK-LING?  Sure -- TAKE one!!  Did you BUY any COMMUNIST UNIFORMS??

Possibly this is because of your sex life?

TAILFINS!!  ...click...

Can you are more explicit?

I'm a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in Brittany

What makes you think that?

If I have enough money to buy 5,000 CANS of NOODLE-RONI, can I get a
 VAT of MARSHMALLOW FLUFF free??

Why do you say a martian name or are you in israel?

Hey!!  Let's watch the' ELEVATOR go UP and DOWN at th' HILTON HOTEL!!

Maybe hangups you have are related to this.

TAPPING?  You POLITICIANS!  Don't you realize that the END of the
 ``Wash Cycle'' is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?!

Are you afraid of that?

Three attractive BANK ROBBERS are discussing RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES and
 MAKE-UP TECHNIQUE with them!!

I don't understand.

Oh, I get it!!  ``The BEACH goes on,'' huh, SONNY??

Earlier you said you would like to be alone?

JAPAN is a WONDERFUL planet -- I wonder if we'll ever reach
 their level of COMPARATIVE SHOPPING...

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

FIRST, I was in a TRUCK...THEN, I was in a DINER...

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Now I'm being INVOLUNTARILY shuffled closer to the CLAM DIP
 with the BROKEN PLASTIC FORKS in it!!

You mentioned that by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

These PRESERVES should be FORCE-FED to PENTAGON OFFICIALS!!

Perhaps this has something to do with some problems at home?

My EARS are GONE!!

Is it because of your plans that you say your ears are gone?

He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE
 inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER!  Or maybe he'd
 like to PSYCHOLOGICALLY TERRORIZE ME until I have no objection
 to a RIGHT-WING MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!!  I guess
 I should call AL PACINO!

What makes you believe do I know what it means to be truly one
with my booth?

Yow!  Am I in Milwaukee?

Possibly your life could have caused this.

OVER the undertow!  UNDER the overpass!  Around the FUTURE
 and BEYOND REPAIR!!

Are you sure that around the future and beyond repair?

Excuse me, but didn't I tell you there's NO HOPE for the
 survival of OFFSET PRINTING?

Does the fact that didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing explain anything else?

I wish I was on a Cincinnati street corner holding a clean dog!

Earlier you said nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?

Have you been absolutely sure was he mature enough last night at
the lesbian masquerade?

I will SHAVE and buy JELL-O and bring my MARRIAGE MANUAL!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

Do you guys know we just passed thru a BLACK HOLE in space?

Are you frightened by that?

I think my CAREER is RUINED!!

You mentioned that was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

First, I'm going to give you all the ANSWERS to today's test..
 So just plug in your SONY WALKMANS and relax!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

I just got my PRINCE bumper sticker..
 But now I can't remember WHO he is...

Is it because now you cannot remember who he is that you came to
me?

The Korean War must have been fun.

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say the korean war
must have been fun?

Where's my SOCIAL WORKER?

Do you really think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

..The TENSION mounts as I MASSAGE your RIGHT ANKLE according to
 ancient Tibetan ACCOUNTING PROCEDURES..are you NEUROTIC yet??

Maybe this is related to your sex life?

How do I get HOME?

Does it bother you that do you get home?

UH-OH!!  I think KEN is OVER-DUE on his R.V. PAYMENTS and HE'S
 having a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN too!!  Ha ha.

What makes you think ha ha?

I want the presidency so bad I can already taste the hors d'oeuvres.

Earlier you said you used hash?

...Get me a GIN and TONIC!!...make it HAIR TONIC!!

Do you get drunk often?

I have accepted Provolone into my life!

Perhaps hangups you have could be the reason for this.

Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE
 with your BOOTH!

When did you first know that do I know what it means to be truly
one with my booth?

I'm having a BIG BANG THEORY!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say you are having a
big bang theory?

I'm working under the direct orders of WAYNE NEWTON to deport
 consenting adults!

You mentioned that you didn't hear sam the sham and the
pharaohs''?

YOW!!  Now I understand advanced MICROBIOLOGY
 and th' new TAX REFORM laws!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE
 with your BOOTH!

Is the fact that do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth the real reason?

Now, my ENTIRE LIFE is flashing before my EYES as I park my DODGE
 DART in your EXXON service area for a COMPLETE LUBRICATION!!

Why do you say that?

I want DUSTIN HOFFMAN!! .. I want LIBERACE!!  YOW!!

I think you have some serious inhibitions.

I guess it was all a DREAM..  or an episode of HAWAII FIVE-O...

What makes you believe it would like to be potato?

I will establish the first SHOPPING MALL in NUTLEY, New Jersey...

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

Those aren't WINOS--that's my JUGGLER, my AERIALIST,
 my SWORD SWALLOWER, and my LATEX NOVELTY SUPPLIER!!

I don't understand.

Why is it that when you DIE, you can't take your
 HOME ENTERTAINMENT CENTER with you??

Does the fact that is it that when I die me cannot take my home
entertainment center with me explain anything else?

SHHHH!!  I hear SIX TATTOOED TRUCK-DRIVERS tossing ENGINE BLOCKS
 into empty OIL DRUMS..

Earlier you said you would like to be alone?

I would like to urinate in an OVULAR, porcelain pool --

Why should I give to urinate to you?

I know things about TROY DONAHUE that can't even be PRINTED!!

Have you been sure cannot even be printed?

Isn't this my STOP?!

Possibly this could be the reason for your plans?

I'm losing my hair..did it go to ATLANTIC CITY??

Maybe your life are caused by this.

..  the HIGHWAY is made out of LIME JELLO and my HONDA
 is a barbequed OYSTER!  Yum!

And?

WHOA!!  Ken and Barbie are having TOO MUCH FUN!!  It must
 be the NEGATIVE IONS!!

You mentioned that you would like to perform?

Do you think the ``Monkees'' should get gas on odd or even days?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

YOW!!!  I am having fun!!!

Are you sure that you are having fun?

Not enough people play SKEE-BALL..  They're always thinking about
 COCAINE or and ALIEN BEINGS!!

Have you been addicted to cocaine?

Now I'm being INVOLUNTARILY shuffled closer to the CLAM DIP
 with the BROKEN PLASTIC FORKS in it!!

Do you really think you love juxtaposing?

A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

Kids, don't gross me off..  ``Adventures with MENTAL HYGIENE''
 can be carried too FAR!

Are you scared of that?

...PENGUINS are floating by...

Earlier you said you would like to have this kleenex?

I'm EMOTIONAL now because I have MERCHANDISING CLOUT!!

Is it because you have merchandising clout that you came to me?

After THIS, let's go to PHILADELPHIA and have TRIPLETS!!

Perhaps this is caused by any hobbies you have?

How's the wife?  Is she at home enjoying capitalism?

Is it because of your sex life that you say is she at home
enjoying capitalism?

Wow!  Look!!  A stray meatball!!  Let's interview it!

You mentioned that can only be made between me sy sperling?

Is this the line for the latest whimsical YUGOSLAVIAN drama which also
 makes you want to CRY and reconsider the VIETNAM WAR?

Have you ever gotten to cry?

I Know A Joke

Possibly hangups you have are because of this.

It's the RINSE CYCLE!!  They've ALL IGNORED the RINSE CYCLE!!

What makes you think they've all ignored the rinse cycle?

Dehydrated EGGS are STREWN across ROULETTE TABLES..

Why do you say you would like to drive off?

We place two copies of PEOPLE magazine in a DARK, HUMID mobile home.
 45 minutes later CYNDI LAUPER emerges wearing a BIRD CAGE on her head!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

It's OBVIOUS..  The FURS never reached ISTANBUL..  You were
 an EXTRA in the REMAKE of ``TOPKAPI''..  Go home to your
 WIFE..  She's making FRENCH TOAST!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say
she's making french toast?

..  Now KEN and BARBIE are PERMANENTLY ADDICTED to MIND-ALTERING DRUGS..

Earlier you said you would like to take it?

Look DEEP into the OPENINGS!!  Do you see any ELVES or EDSELS...
 or a HIGHBALL??...

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

Here we are in America...  when do we collect unemployment?

What would happen if do you collect unemployment?

It's NO USE..  I've gone to ``CLUB MED''!!

What makes you believe you have gone to club med''?

..  Now KEN and BARBIE are PERMANENTLY ADDICTED to MIND-ALTERING DRUGS..

You mentioned that you would like to take it?

I'm definitely not in Omaha!

Maybe this is because of your plans?

You can't hurt me!!  I have an ASSUMABLE MORTGAGE!!

Is it because of your life that you say you have an assumable
mortgage?

Those aren't WINOS--that's my JUGGLER, my AERIALIST,
 my SWORD SWALLOWER, and my LATEX NOVELTY SUPPLIER!!

Are you sure that uh why is there a waffle in your pajama pocket?

Yow!  Now I get to think about all the BAD THINGS I did to a BOWLING BALL
 when I was in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL!

Are you annoyed that your grades could improve?

..  are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER?

Perhaps the people you hang around with have something to do with
this.

I FORGOT to do the DISHES!!

Do you really think you forgot to do the dishes?

HOORAY, Ronald!!  Now YOU can marry LINDA RONSTADT too!!

Earlier you said then you heard about the high radiation levels
and bought an encyclopedia?

...PENGUINS are floating by...

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

I'm not available for comment..

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say you are not
available for comment?

I was giving HAIR CUTS to th' SAUCER PEOPLE ..  I'm CLEAN!!

You mentioned that was you born?

When you get your PH.D. will you get able to work at BURGER KING?

What happened when I get my ph d will I get able to work at
burger king?

I selected E5...  but I didn't hear ``Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs''!

Did you ever regret you didn't hear sam the sham and the
pharaohs''?

I hope I bought the right relish...  zzzzzzzzz...

Why don't you go into more detail?

I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!

How do you reconcile your sex life?

My life is a patio of fun!

What makes you think your life is a patio of fun?

Hmmm..  a CRIPPLED ACCOUNTANT with a FALAFEL sandwich is HIT
 by a TROLLEY-CAR..

Why do you say you would like to have this suntan?

Do you think the ``Monkees'' should get gas on odd or even days?

Possibly this has something to do with hangups you have?

I'm DESPONDENT...  I hope there's something DEEP-FRIED under this
 miniature DOMED STADIUM...

What makes you believe that?

I'm CONTROLLED by the CIA!!  EVERYONE is controlled by the CIA!!

Earlier you said was the most heart warming rendition of you did
it your way'' you have ever heard?

I've got to get these SNACK CAKES to NEWARK by DAWN!!

Maybe your inhibitions are related to this.

Here I am at the flea market but nobody is buying
 my urine sample bottles..

When did you first know that nobody is buying your urine sample
bottles?

It's OKAY --- I'm an INTELLECTUAL, too.

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say
it's okay you are an intellectual too?

Mary Tyler Moore's SEVENTH HUSBAND is wearing my DACRON TANK TOP
 in a cheap hotel in HONOLULU!

Tell me more about your family.

Not SENSUOUS...  only ``FROLICSOME''...
 and in need of DENTAL WORK...  in PAIN!!!

Perhaps you should consult a doctor of medicine, I am a
psychiatrist.

The SAME WAVE keeps coming in and COLLAPSING like a rayon MUU-MUU..

Are you sure that collapsing might hope to have this rayon?

In order to make PLANS for the WEEKEND...so that we can read RESTAURANT
 REVIEWS and decide to GO to that restaurant & then NEVER GO...so we can
 meet a FRIEND after work in a BAR and COMPLAIN about Interior Sect'y
 JAMES WATT until the SUBJECT is changed to NUCLEAR BLACKMAIL...and so
 our RELATIVES can FORCE us to listen to HOCKEY STATISTICS while we
 wait for them to LEAVE on the 7:48....

Is the fact that you can read restaurant reviews and decide to go
to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet a friend
after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y james watt
until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and so your
relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics while you
wait for them to leave on the 7 48 the real reason?

--``I love KATRINKA because she drives a PONTIAC.  We're going away now.
 I fed the cat. - Zippy''

You mentioned that now you cannot remember who he is?

I am deeply CONCERNED and I want something GOOD for BREAKFAST!

Is it because of some problems at home that you are going through
all this?

FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!

I don't understand.

BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-

Do you really think didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

How do I get HOME?

Does the fact that do you get home explain anything else?

I wish I was on a Cincinnati street corner holding a clean dog!

How do you reconcile your plans?

I just had a MAJOR CONTRACT DISPUTE with SUZANNE SOMERS!!

Possibly this is related to your life?

CHUBBY CHECKER just had a CHICKEN SANDWICH in downtown DULUTH!

Earlier you said you work for ding dongs?

Xerox your lunch and file it under ``sex offenders!''

Could you elaborate on your sex life...

In order to make PLANS for the WEEKEND...so that we can read RESTAURANT
 REVIEWS and decide to GO to that restaurant & then NEVER GO...so we can
 meet a FRIEND after work in a BAR and COMPLAIN about Interior Sect'y
 JAMES WATT until the SUBJECT is changed to NUCLEAR BLACKMAIL...and so
 our RELATIVES can FORCE us to listen to HOCKEY STATISTICS while we
 wait for them to LEAVE on the 7:48....

Have you been positive you can read restaurant reviews and decide
to go to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet a
friend after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y
james watt until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and
so your relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics
while you wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Nice decor!

Maybe the people you hang around with could have caused this.

I'm EMOTIONAL now because I have MERCHANDISING CLOUT!!

Is it because you have merchandising clout that you came to me?

I wonder if I could ever get started in the credit world?

Have you been afraid of that?

Well, I'm on the right planet---everyone looks like me!!!

You mentioned that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE..  and I don't take any DRUGS

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

YOW!!

Are you sorry you are a pinhead?

Let's send the Russians defective lifestyle accessories!

What makes you think let's send the russians defective lifestyle
accessories?

I love FRUIT PICKERS!!

Please, describe something you remember about fruit.

Are we on STRIKE yet?

Why do you say then you heard about the high radiation levels and
bought an encyclopedia?

TONY RANDALL!  Is YOUR life a PATIO of FUN??

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

Being a BALD HERO is almost as FESTIVE as a TATTOOED KNOCKWURST.

What makes you believe that?

I smell like a wet reducing clinic on Columbus Day!

How does it feel to want?

Four thousand different MAGNATES, MOGULS & NABOBS are romping in my
 gothic solarium!!

Earlier you said you are out of your mind?

I wish I was on a Cincinnati street corner holding a clean dog!

Perhaps this could be the reason for your sex life?

--- I have seen the FUN ---

Is it because of hangups you have that you say --- i have seen
the fun?

Now, I think it would be GOOD to buy FIVE or SIX STUDEBAKERS
 and CRUISE for ARTIFICIAL FLAVORING!!

You mentioned that bendix would like to have this god?

After this, I'm going to BURN some RUBBER!!

Possibly your inhibitions could be the reason for this.

If I am elected, the concrete barriers around the WHITE HOUSE
 will be replaced by tasteful foam replicas of ANN MARGARET!

I don't understand.

Being a BALD HERO is almost as FESTIVE as a TATTOOED KNOCKWURST.

Are you sure that are you suddenly thinking of a venerable
religious leader frolicking on a fort lauderdale weekend?

I have no actual hairline...

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

Imagine--a WORLD without POODLES...

Do you really think imagine a world without poodles?

LIFE is a never-ending INFORMERCIAL!

Earlier you said built would like to have this bagel?

Life is selling REVOLUTIONARY HAIR PRODUCTS!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

I have seen these EGG EXTENDERS in my Supermarket..
 ..  I have read the INSTRUCTIONS...

Is it because of your plans that you say you have read the
instructions?

Where's my SOCIAL WORKER?

You mentioned that your viewscreen is user friendly''?

I feel partially hydrogenated!

Maybe this is caused by your life?

I have no actual hairline...

What makes you think you have no actual hairline?

Everybody gets free BORSCHT!

Why do you say you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting?

I'm receiving a coded message from EUBIE BLAKE!!

Perhaps the people you hang around with are caused by this.

I'm CONTROLLED by the CIA!!  EVERYONE is controlled by the CIA!!

Is it because of problems at school that you say everyone is
controlled by the cia?

Everybody gets free BORSCHT!

Earlier you said cannot even be printed?

ONE:  I will donate my entire ``BABY HUEY'' comic book collection
 to the downtown PLASMA CENTER..
 TWO:  I won't START a BAND called ``KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD''..
 THREE:  I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you are going through
all this?

ALFRED JARRY!  Say something about th' DEATH of DISCO!!

This is not a healthy way of thinking.

Am I SHOPLIFTING?

What makes you believe are you shoplifting?

Th' MIND is the Pizza Palace of th' SOUL

You mentioned that was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

Psychoanalysis??  I thought this was a nude rap session!!!

How do you reconcile your sex life?

Now I'm having INSIPID THOUGHTS about the beautiful, round
 wives of HOLLYWOOD MOVIE MOGULS encased in PLEXIGLASS CARS
 and being approached by SMALL BOYS selling FRUIT..

Possibly this is because of hangups you have?

Hey, LOOK!!  A pair of SIZE 9 CAPRI PANTS!!  They probably belong to
 SAMMY DAVIS, JR.!!

Are you sure that a martian name or are you in israel?

Once, there was NO fun...  This was before MENU planning,
 FASHION statements or NAUTILUS equipment...
 Then, in 1985..  FUN was completely encoded in this tiny MICROCHIP..
 It contain 14,768 vaguely amusing SIT-COM pilots!!
 We had to wait FOUR BILLION years but we finally got JERRY LEWIS,
 MTV and a large selection of creme-filled snack cakes!

Are you satisfied with the fact that you finally got jerry lewis
mtv and a large selection of creme filled snack cakes?

Hey, I LIKE that POINT!!

Maybe your inhibitions are because of this.

I am covered with pure vegetable oil and I am writing a best seller!

Are you frightened by that?

..  over in west Philadelphia a puppy is vomiting..

Perhaps you should consult a doctor of medicine, I am a
psychiatrist.

I'm rated PG-34!!

Earlier you said you would like to be alone?

I joined scientology at a garage sale!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

In order to make PLANS for the WEEKEND...so that we can read RESTAURANT
 REVIEWS and decide to GO to that restaurant & then NEVER GO...so we can
 meet a FRIEND after work in a BAR and COMPLAIN about Interior Sect'y
 JAMES WATT until the SUBJECT is changed to NUCLEAR BLACKMAIL...and so
 our RELATIVES can FORCE us to listen to HOCKEY STATISTICS while we
 wait for them to LEAVE on the 7:48....

When did you first know that you can read restaurant reviews and
decide to go to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet
a friend after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y
james watt until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and
so your relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics
while you wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Yow!  Maybe I should have asked for my Neutron Bomb in PAISLEY--

Do you really think that?

My LESLIE GORE record is BROKEN..

You mentioned that by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

Yow!  I want my nose in lights!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

Mary Tyler Moore's SEVENTH HUSBAND is wearing my DACRON TANK TOP
 in a cheap hotel in HONOLULU!

You seem to dwell on your family.

I have accepted Provolone into my life!

Is it because of your plans that you say you have accepted
provolone into your life?

I'm in LOVE with DON KNOTTS!!

I would appreciate it if you would tell me about your feelings
toward love don.

The Osmonds!  You are all Osmonds!!  Throwing up on a freeway at dawn!!!

What makes you think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

LOOK!!  Sullen American teens wearing MADRAS shorts and
 ``Flock of Seagulls'' HAIRCUTS!

Possibly this has something to do with your life?

...It's REAL ROUND..  And it's got a POINTY PART right in the MIDDLE!!
 The shape is SMOOTH..  ..And COLD.. It feels very COMFORTABLE on my
 CHEEK..  I'm getting EMOTIONAL..

Why do you say you are getting emotional?

Are we THERE yet?  My MIND is a SUBMARINE!!

Earlier you said didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

You mean now I can SHOOT YOU in the back and further BLUR
 th' distinction between FANTASY and REALITY?

Maybe the people you hang around with have something to do with
this.

The LOGARITHM of an ISOSCELES TRIANGLE is TUESDAY WELD!!

I don't understand.

Am I elected yet?

You mentioned that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

How do I get HOME?

Is the fact that do you get home the real reason?

I demand IMPUNITY!

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

I am having a pleasant time!!

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say you are having
a pleasant time?

I think I am an overnight sensation right now!!

What makes you believe was he mature enough last night at the
lesbian masquerade?

FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!

How do you reconcile your sex life?

I have no actual hairline...

Are you sure that you have no actual hairline?

Are you still SEXUALLY ACTIVE?  Did you BRING th' REINFORCEMENTS?

Earlier you said was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

Are we live or on tape?

Perhaps this is related to hangups you have?

...I think I'm having an overnight sensation right now!!

Possibly your inhibitions are related to this.

Yow!  Are we laid back yet?

You mentioned that now you cannot remember who he is?

I'm pretending that we're all watching PHIL SILVERS
 instead of RICARDO MONTALBAN!

Does the fact that we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban explain anything else?

What I want to find out is -- do parrots know much about Astro-Turf?

Why should you get to find out?

Laundry is the fifth dimension!!  ...um...um...  th' washing machine
 is a black hole and the pink socks are bus drivers who just fell in!!

Are you a computer hacker?

It's the RINSE CYCLE!!  They've ALL IGNORED the RINSE CYCLE!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

YOW!!  I am having FUN!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say you are
having fun?

I appoint you ambassador to Fantasy Island!!!

Do you really think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

America!!  I saw it all!!  Vomiting!  Waving!  JERRY FALWELLING into
 your void tube of UHF oblivion!!  SAFEWAY of the mind --

How do you reconcile your plans?

Impudent..  Yet possessing a certain ALUMINUM SILICATE
 overbite....Needs REDDY-WHIP!!

Have you been scared of that?

Uh-oh!!  I forgot to submit to COMPULSORY URINALYSIS!

Earlier you said do you get home?

INSIDE, I have the same personality disorder as LUCY RICARDO!!

Maybe this could be the reason for your life?

Yow!  I like my new DENTIST...

What makes you think you like your new dentist?

I wonder if I should put myself in ESCROW!!

You mentioned that you used hash?

...PENGUINS are floating by...

Perhaps the people you hang around with could have caused this.

Kids, don't gross me off..  ``Adventures with MENTAL HYGIENE''
 can be carried too FAR!

Why do you say that?

We place two copies of PEOPLE magazine in a DARK, HUMID mobile home.
 45 minutes later CYNDI LAUPER emerges wearing a BIRD CAGE on her head!

What makes you believe do I know what it means to be truly one
with my booth?

YOW!!  Now I understand advanced MICROBIOLOGY
 and th' new TAX REFORM laws!!

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

I have seen these EGG EXTENDERS in my Supermarket..
 ..  I have read the INSTRUCTIONS...

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say you have read
the instructions?

I'm wet!  I'm wild!

Earlier you said you didn't hear sam the sham and the pharaohs''?

...A housewife is wearing a polypyrene jumpsuit!!

How do you reconcile your sex life?

Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA?

I don't understand.

Sign my PETITION.

You mentioned that do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

Is it clean in other dimensions?

Possibly this is caused by hangups you have?

I hope you millionaires are having fun!  I just invested half
 your life savings in yeast!!

Maybe your inhibitions could be the reason for this.

Talking Pinhead Blues:
 Oh, I LOST my ``HELLO KITTY'' DOLL and I get BAD reception on
  channel TWENTY-SIX!!
 Th'HOSTESS FACTORY is closin' down and I just heard ZASU PITTS
  has been DEAD for YEARS..  (sniff)
 My PLATFORM SHOE collection was CHEWED up by th'dog, ALEXANDER
  HAIG won't let me take a SHOWER 'til Easter.. (snurf)
 So I went to the kitchen, but WALNUT PANELING whup me
  upside mah HAID!! (on no, no, no..  Heh, heh)

Are you sure that it would like to be potato?

Everybody is going somewhere!!  It's probably a garage sale
 or a disaster Movie!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

Bo Derek ruined my life!

Do you really think bo derek ruined your life?

Once, there was NO fun...  This was before MENU planning,
 FASHION statements or NAUTILUS equipment...
 Then, in 1985..  FUN was completely encoded in this tiny MICROCHIP..
 It contain 14,768 vaguely amusing SIT-COM pilots!!
 We had to wait FOUR BILLION years but we finally got JERRY LEWIS,
 MTV and a large selection of creme-filled snack cakes!

Have you been certain you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes?

Where's my SOCIAL WORKER?

Earlier you said is it that when I die me cannot take my home
entertainment center with me?

Yow!!  That's a GOOD IDEA!!  Eating a whole FIELD of COUGH MEDICINE
 should make you feel MUCH BETTER!!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

UH-OH!!  I put on ``GREAT HEAD-ON TRAIN COLLISIONS of the 50's''
 by mistake!!!

Are you afraid of that?

Let's climb to the TOP of that MOUNTAIN and think about STRIP MINING!!

Is it because mountain and think about strip mining that you came
to me?

Spreading peanut butter reminds me of opera!!  I wonder why?

You aren't being very talkative today!

We place two copies of PEOPLE magazine in a DARK, HUMID mobile home.
 45 minutes later CYNDI LAUPER emerges wearing a BIRD CAGE on her head!

You mentioned that you would like to be alone?

..  I want FORTY-TWO TRYNEL FLOATATION SYSTEMS installed within
 SIX AND A HALF HOURS!!!

Perhaps this is because of your plans?

BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-

What makes you think that?

Am I elected yet?

Why do you say you would like to urinate?

I think I'll do BOTH if I can get RESIDUALS!!

Possibly your life are caused by this.

I'm GLAD I remembered to XEROX all my UNDERSHIRTS!!

I don't understand.

Now I need a suntan, a tennis lesson, Annette Funicello and two dozen
 Day-Glo orange paper jumpsuits!!

When did you first want to have this suntan?

QUIET!!  I'm being CREATIVE!!  Is it GREAT yet?  It's s'posed to
 SMOKEY THE BEAR...

Earlier you said cannot even be printed?

Well, here I am in AMERICA..  I LIKE it.  I HATE it.
 I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE it.
 I HATE it.  I LIKE..  EMOTIONS are SWEEPING over me!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

..  Now KEN and BARBIE are PERMANENTLY ADDICTED to MIND-ALTERING DRUGS..

How do you reconcile problems at school?

Do I hear th' SPINNING of various WHIRRING, ROUND, and WARM
 WHIRLOMATICS?!

You mentioned that you would like to perform?

My FAVORITE group is "QUESTION MARK & THE MYSTERIANS"...

Maybe this has something to do with any hobbies you have?

Th' PINK SOCK... soaking... soaking... soaking...
 Th' PINK SOCK... washing... washing... washing...
 Th' PINK SOCK... rinsing... rinsing... rinsing...

Is it because of your sex life that you say th' pink sock rinsing
rinsing rinsing?

It's the land of DONNY AND MARIE as promised in TV GUIDE!

What makes you believe you used cocaine?

Awright, which one of you hid my PENIS ENVY?

Perhaps hangups you have are because of this.

LOOK!!!  I'm WALKING in my SLEEP again!!

Are you sure that you are walking in your sleep again?

FROZEN ENTREES may be flung by members of opposing SWANSON SECTS..

Earlier you said you love juxtaposing?

Are we THERE yet??

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

I think I'll do BOTH if I can get RESIDUALS!!

Have you been frightened by that?

Oh my GOD -- the SUN just fell into YANKEE STADIUM!!

You mentioned that you would like to have this kleenex?

I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

RELATIVES!!

Is that all there is to it?

I'm wet!  I'm wild!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say you are wild?

I HIJACKED a 747 to get here!!  I hope those fabulous CONEHEADS are at HOME!!

Do you really think you have merchandising clout?

Yow!  I want to mail a bronzed artichoke to Nicaragua!

Have you been obsessed with to mail?

Now, let's SEND OUT for QUICHE!!

Possibly this is related to your plans?

Oh my GOD -- the SUN just fell into YANKEE STADIUM!!

What makes you think that?

I'm shaving!!  I'M SHAVING!!

Earlier you said can only be made between me sy sperling?

BARRY..  That was the most HEART-WARMING rendition of
 ``I DID IT MY WAY'' I've ever heard!!

Does it bother you that was the most heart warming rendition of
you did it your way'' you have ever heard?

In order to make PLANS for the WEEKEND...so that we can read RESTAURANT
 REVIEWS and decide to GO to that restaurant & then NEVER GO...so we can
 meet a FRIEND after work in a BAR and COMPLAIN about Interior Sect'y
 JAMES WATT until the SUBJECT is changed to NUCLEAR BLACKMAIL...and so
 our RELATIVES can FORCE us to listen to HOCKEY STATISTICS while we
 wait for them to LEAVE on the 7:48....

What would happen if you wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Hey, LOOK!!  A pair of SIZE 9 CAPRI PANTS!!  They probably belong to
 SAMMY DAVIS, JR.!!

Maybe your life have something to do with this.

DIDI...  is that a MARTIAN name, or, are we in ISRAEL?

When did you first know that a martian name or are you in israel?

O.K.!  Speak with a PHILADELPHIA ACCENT!!  Send out for CHINESE FOOD!!
 Hop a JET!

Why do you say hop a jet?

A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAQUIRI!!

You mentioned that I would like to cry?

If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

I want another RE-WRITE on my CAESAR SALAD!!

I don't understand.

I call it a "SARDINE ON WHEAT"!

What makes you believe you would like to drive off?

Gibble, Gobble, we ACCEPT YOU ---

How do you reconcile problems at school?

ONE:  I will donate my entire ``BABY HUEY'' comic book collection
 to the downtown PLASMA CENTER..
 TWO:  I won't START a BAND called ``KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD''..
 THREE:  I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!

Perhaps this could be the reason for any hobbies you have?

Leona, I want to CONFESS things to you..
 I want to WRAP you in a SCARLET ROBE trimmed with POLYVINYL CHLORIDE..
 I want to EMPTY your ASHTRAYS...

Why should I give to empty to you?

YOU'D cry too if it happened to YOU!!

Earlier you said you would like to take it?

The LOGARITHM of an ISOSCELES TRIANGLE is TUESDAY WELD!!

Possibly your sex life are related to this.

I like your SNOOPY POSTER!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you say you like my snoopy
poster?

Impudent..  Yet possessing a certain ALUMINUM SILICATE
 overbite....Needs REDDY-WHIP!!

You mentioned that you would like to take it?

Darling, my ELBOW is FLYING over FRANKFURT, Germany..

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

If I am elected, the concrete barriers around the WHITE HOUSE
 will be replaced by tasteful foam replicas of ANN MARGARET!

Are you scared of that?

Life is selling REVOLUTIONARY HAIR PRODUCTS!

Are you sure that uh why is there a waffle in your pajama pocket?

I am deeply CONCERNED and I want something GOOD for BREAKFAST!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

This MUST be a good party -- My RIB CAGE is being painfully
 pressed up against someone's MARTINI!!

Do you really think that?

I decided to be JOHN TRAVOLTA instead!!

Earlier you said then you heard about the high radiation levels
and bought an encyclopedia?

Is this ANYWHERE, USA?

Maybe this is caused by some problems at home?

I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!

I don't understand.

Did you GAIN WEIGHT in th' past 5 MINUTES or am I just DREAMING of two
 BROCCOLI FLORETS lying in an empty GAS TANK?

You mentioned that was you born?

Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS...

Perhaps your plans could have caused this.

DON'T go!!  I'm not HOWARD COSELL!!  I know POLISH JOKES...  WAIT!!
 Don't go!!  I AM Howard Cosell!...  And I DON'T know Polish jokes!!

What makes you think and you do not know polish jokes?

I LIKE Aisle 7a.

Why do you say you didn't hear sam the sham and the pharaohs''?

BEEP-BEEP!!  I'm a '49 STUDEBAKER!!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

I feel like I'm in a Toilet Bowl with a thumbtack in my forehead!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

I'm having an emotional outburst!!

Earlier you said you would like to have this suntan?

A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!

Possibly this is because of problems at school?

Yow!  Am I in Milwaukee?

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say are you in
milwaukee?

Hello, GORRY-O!!  I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!

You mentioned that was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

Now I need a suntan, a tennis lesson, Annette Funicello and two dozen
 Day-Glo orange paper jumpsuits!!

Have you ever gotten to have this suntan?

Feel th' WHIRLING BUFFERS buffing away all that stress...
 Years of ROAD TAR gently washing away...

Maybe your sex life could be the reason for this.

Feel th' WHIRLING BUFFERS buffing away all that stress...
 Years of ROAD TAR gently washing away...

What makes you believe years of road tar gently washing away?

I'm wearing PAMPERS!!

Are you sure that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

PEGGY FLEMING is stealing BASKET BALLS to feed the babies in VERMONT.

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

OVER the undertow!  UNDER the overpass!  Around the FUTURE
 and BEYOND REPAIR!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say around the future
and beyond repair?

I just had my entire INTESTINAL TRACT coated with TEFLON!

Earlier you said collapsing would like to have this rayon?

While I'm in LEVITTOWN I thought I'd like to see the NUCLEAR FAMILY!!

What happened when you are in levittown you thought you would
like to see the nuclear family?

BARRY..  That was the most HEART-WARMING rendition of
 ``I DID IT MY WAY'' I've ever heard!!

Is the fact that was the most heart warming rendition of you did
it your way'' you have ever heard the real reason?

Now I can join WEIGHT WATCHERS!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Yow!  Maybe I should have asked for my Neutron Bomb in PAISLEY--

Have you been afraid of that?

Make me look like LINDA RONSTADT again!!

You mentioned that you can read restaurant reviews and decide to
go to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet a friend
after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y james watt
until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and so your
relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics while you
wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Is it NOUVELLE CUISINE when 3 olives are struggling with a scallop
 in a plate of SAUCE MORNAY?

What would happen if 3 olives are struggling with a scallop in a
plate of sauce mornay?

Put FIVE DOZEN red GIRDLES in each CIRCULAR OPENING!!

Perhaps this has something to do with some problems at home?

What PROGRAM are they watching?

Do you really think what program are they watching?

I'd like MY data-base JULIENNED and stir-fried!

What makes you think now you cannot remember who he is?

I feel better about world problems now!

Possibly your plans are caused by this.

I've been WRITING to SOPHIA LOREN every 45 MINUTES since JANUARY 1ST!!

What happened when january 1st?

HUMAN REPLICAS are inserted into VATS of NUTRITIONAL YEAST...

Why do you say that?

I have a TINY BOWL in my HEAD

Earlier you said didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

I know things about TROY DONAHUE that can't even be PRINTED!!

Does the fact that cannot even be printed explain anything else?

I appoint you ambassador to Fantasy Island!!!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

The Osmonds!  You are all Osmonds!!  Throwing up on a freeway at dawn!!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say
throwing up on a freeway at dawn?

I'm gliding over a NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP near ATLANTA, Georgia!!

You mentioned that do you get home?

I think my CAREER is RUINED!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

I haven't been married in over six years, but we had sexual counseling
 every day from Oral Roberts!!

Have you been absolutely sure you had sexual counseling every day
from oral roberts?

By MEER biz doo SCHOIN..

What makes you believe by meer biz doo schoin?

Ask me the DIFFERENCE between PHIL SILVERS and ALEXANDER HAIG!!

Are you sure that you work for ding dongs?

Yow!  Those people look exactly like Donnie and Marie Osmond!!

Maybe this is related to any hobbies you have?

I put aside my copy of ``BOWLING WORLD'' and think
 about GUN CONTROL legislation..

I don't understand.

It was a JOKE!!  Get it??  I was receiving messages
 from DAVID LETTERMAN!!  YOW!!

Are you Zippy?

I'm rated PG-34!!

Earlier you said you can read restaurant reviews and decide to go
to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet a friend
after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y james watt
until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and so your
relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics while you
wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Did we bring enough BEEF JERKY?

Perhaps your sex life are because of this.

I'm not an Iranian!!  I voted for Dianne Feinstein!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you say you voted for
dianne feinstein?

Everybody gets free BORSCHT!

You mentioned that you have merchandising clout?

I want another RE-WRITE on my CAESAR SALAD!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

Thank god!!..  It's HENNY YOUNGMAN!!

Do you really think it's henny youngman?

Everywhere I look I see NEGATIVITY and ASPHALT...

What makes you think nose would like to have this bad ronald?

Didn't I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo?

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Can I have an IMPULSE ITEM instead?

Is it because of some problems at home that you say can you have
an impulse item instead?

-- I can do ANYTHING ... I can even ... SHOPLIFT!!

Earlier you said you love fruit?

NOW, I'm supposed to SCRAMBLE two, and HOLD th' MAYO!!

Possibly this could be the reason for your plans?

Now my EMOTIONAL RESOURCES are heavily committed to 23% of the
 SMELTING and REFINING industry of the state of NEVADA!!

Maybe your life have something to do with this.

Yow!  I forgot my PAIL!!

You mentioned that then you heard about the high radiation levels
and bought an encyclopedia?

Will this never-ending series of PLEASURABLE EVENTS never cease?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

My CODE of ETHICS is vacationing at famed SCHROON LAKE
 in upstate New York!!

Have you been frightened by that?

Yow!  Are we laid back yet?

Why do you say smell would like to have this wet?

I'm ANN LANDERS!!  I can SHOPLIFT!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!

What makes you believe that?

...Um...Um...

Earlier you said you are out of your mind?

Place me on a BUFFER counter while you BELITTLE several BELLHOPS
 in the Trianon Room!!  Let me one of your SUBSIDIARIES!

Perhaps this is caused by any hobbies you have?

Is the EIGHTIES when they had ART DECO and GERALD McBOING-BOING lunch
 boxes??

What would happen if they had art deco and gerald mcboing boing
lunch boxes?

I wonder if I could ever get started in the credit world?

I don't understand.

It was a JOKE!!  Get it??  I was receiving messages
 from DAVID LETTERMAN!!  YOW!!

I have a feeling you have some serious hangups.

I love FRUIT PICKERS!!

Perhaps you could talk about some experiences you have had with
fruit.

I HIJACKED a 747 to get here!!  I hope those fabulous CONEHEADS are at HOME!!

You mentioned that bendix would like to have this god?

RELAX!! ... This is gonna be a HEALING EXPERIENCE!!  Besides,
 I work for DING DONGS!

Is it because you work for ding dongs that you came to me?

I'm wearing PAMPERS!!

Possibly your sex life are related to this.

Now I can join WEIGHT WATCHERS!

Are you sure that now you can join weight watchers?

I'm a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in Brittany

Do you really think are you suddenly thinking of a venerable
religious leader frolicking on a fort lauderdale weekend?

But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?

Are you annoyed that was he mature enough last night at the
lesbian masquerade?

Do you have exactly what I want in a plaid poindexter bar bat??

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

What I need is a MATURE RELATIONSHIP with a FLOPPY DISK...

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

I can see you GUYS an' GALS need a LOT of HELP...You're all very
 STUPID!!  I used to be STUPID, too..before I started watching UHF-TV!!

Earlier you said built would like to have this bagel?

I want another RE-WRITE on my CAESAR SALAD!!

Maybe this is because of some problems in your childhood?

It was a JOKE!!  Get it??  I was receiving messages
 from DAVID LETTERMAN!!  YOW!!

Did you ever regret you are a pinhead?

I'm receiving a coded message from EUBIE BLAKE!!

Have you been scared of that?

Kids, the seven basic food groups are GUM, PUFF PASTRY, PIZZA,
 PESTICIDES, ANTIBIOTICS, NUTRA-SWEET and MILK DUDS!!

You mentioned that your viewscreen is user friendly''?

Is this where people are HOT and NICE and they give you TOAST for
 FREE??

Perhaps some problems at home could have caused this.

Alright, you!!  Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!

What makes you think that?

Content:  80% POLYESTER, 20% DACRON..  The waitress's
 UNIFORM sheds TARTAR SAUCE like an 8'' by 10'' GLOSSY..

Why do you say sauce might desire to have this 8''?

I can see you GUYS an' GALS need a LOT of HELP...You're all very
 STUPID!!  I used to be STUPID, too..before I started watching UHF-TV!!

What makes you believe you have your apple '' you comprehend cost
accounting?

I've gotta GO, now!!  I wanta tell you you're a GREAT bunch of guys
 but you ought to CHANGE your UNDERWEAR more often!!

When did you first know that I ought to change my underwear more
often?

WHOA!!  I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE right NOW!!

Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?

Someone is DROOLING on my collar!!

Is it because of your life that you say someone is drooling on
your collar?

BRYLCREAM is CREAM O' WHEAT in another DIMENSION..

Earlier you said cannot even be printed?

...I think I'm having an overnight sensation right now!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Hey, waiter!  I want a NEW SHIRT and a PONY TAIL with lemon sauce!

How does it feel to want?

Oh, FISH sticks, CHEEZ WHIZ, GIN fizz, SHOW BIZ!!

Discuss your drinking habits.

Here we are in America...  when do we collect unemployment?

What happened when do you collect unemployment?

I'd like MY data-base JULIENNED and stir-fried!

I don't understand.

Are we THERE yet?!

You mentioned that was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

My ELBOW is a remote FRENCH OUTPOST!!

Possibly this has something to do with problems at school?

I'd like TRAINED SEALS and a CONVERTIBLE on my doorstep by NOON!!

Maybe any hobbies you have could be the reason for this.

Yow!  I'm out of work...I could go into shock absorbers...or SCUBA
 GEAR!!

Are you sure that a martian name or are you in israel?

I put aside my copy of ``BOWLING WORLD'' and think
 about GUN CONTROL legislation..

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

Yow!!  It's LIBERACE and TUESDAY WELD!!  High on a HILL... driving a
 LITTLE CAR...  I wanna be in that LITTLE CAR, too!!  I wanna drive off
 with LIBBY and TUESDAY!

Why should you get to drive off?

QUIET!!  I'm being CREATIVE!!  Is it GREAT yet?  It's s'posed to
 SMOKEY THE BEAR...

Do you really think it's s'posed to smokey the bear?

When I met th'POPE back in '58, I scrubbed him with a MILD SOAP
 or DETERGENT for 15 minutes.  He seemed to enjoy it..

Earlier you said you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes?

Our father who art in heaven..  I sincerely pray that SOMEBODY
 at this table will PAY for my SHREDDED WHAT and ENGLISH MUFFIN..
 and also leave a GENEROUS TIP...

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

..I'll make you an ASHTRAY!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say..i'll make me an
ashtray?

DIDI...  is that a MARTIAN name, or, are we in ISRAEL?

Is the fact that a martian name or are you in israel the real
reason?

..  are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER?

You mentioned that you would like to be alone?

What GOOD is a CARDBOARD suitcase ANYWAY?

Why must you respond so briefly?

Now, I think it would be GOOD to buy FIVE or SIX STUDEBAKERS
 and CRUISE for ARTIFICIAL FLAVORING!!

Perhaps this is related to some problems in your childhood?

Laundry is the fifth dimension!!  ...um...um...  th' washing machine
 is a black hole and the pink socks are bus drivers who just fell in!!

You have your mind on machines, it seems.

Were these parsnips CORRECTLY MARINATED in TACO SAUCE?

What makes you think were these parsnips correctly marinated in
taco sauce?

...PENGUINS are floating by...

Why do you say you can read restaurant reviews and decide to go
to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet a friend
after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y james watt
until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and so your
relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics while you
wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Are we on STRIKE yet?

Possibly some problems at home are caused by this.

It's NO USE..  I've gone to ``CLUB MED''!!

Is it because of your plans that you say you have gone to club
med''?

The Korean War must have been fun.

Earlier you said by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

Bo Derek ruined my life!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

Where's SANDY DUNCAN?

What makes you believe where's sandy duncan?

SHHHH!!  I hear SIX TATTOOED TRUCK-DRIVERS tossing ENGINE BLOCKS
 into empty OIL DRUMS..

You mentioned that you are love don?

..  hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub.

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Edwin Meese made me wear CORDOVANS!!

Is it because of problems at school that you say edwin meese made
you wear cordovans?

..  I see TOILET SEATS...

Are you sure that do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth?

Yow!  I'm imagining a surfer van filled with soy sauce!

Maybe this could be the reason for any hobbies you have?

Where's my SOCIAL WORKER?

Do you really think where's your social worker?

My pants just went to high school in the Carlsbad Caverns!!!

Are you afraid of school?

Nice decor!

Earlier you said didn't you tell me there's no hope for the
survival of offset printing?

Yow!  Am I in Milwaukee?

Perhaps your sex life are because of this.

Those aren't WINOS--that's my JUGGLER, my AERIALIST,
 my SWORD SWALLOWER, and my LATEX NOVELTY SUPPLIER!!

Have you been frightened by that?

What a COINCIDENCE!  I'm an authorized ``SNOOTS OF THE STARS'' dealer!!

You mentioned that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

An Italian is COMBING his hair in suburban DES MOINES!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

Gibble, Gobble, we ACCEPT YOU ---

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say gibble gobble you
accept me?

If you STAY in China, I'll give you 4,000 BUSHELS of "ATOMIC MOUSE"
 pencil sharpeners!!

What makes you think do you get home?

Finally, Zippy drives his 1958 RAMBLER METROPOLITAN into the
 faculty dining room.

Have you been Zippy?

Three attractive BANK ROBBERS are discussing RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES and
 MAKE-UP TECHNIQUE with them!!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

ONE:  I will donate my entire ``BABY HUEY'' comic book collection
 to the downtown PLASMA CENTER..
 TWO:  I won't START a BAND called ``KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD''..
 THREE:  I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!

Why do you say that?

We are now enjoying total mutual interaction in an imaginary hot tub...

Earlier you said was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!

Possibly this is caused by some problems at home?

NEWARK has been REZONED!!  DES MOINES has been REZONED!!

What makes you believe des moines has been rezoned?

I'd like TRAINED SEALS and a CONVERTIBLE on my doorstep by NOON!!

You mentioned that was he mature enough last night at the lesbian
masquerade?

..  I see TOILET SEATS...

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

I'm in ATLANTIC CITY riding in a comfortable ROLLING CHAIR...

I don't understand.

You were s'posed to laugh!

Are you sure that now you cannot remember who he is?

YOW!!  Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!!  A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed
 with the shreds of SEVERAL CHICKENS!!...  Oh BOY!!  I'm
 about to swallow a TORN-OFF section of a COW'S LEFT LEG
 soaked in COTTONSEED OIL and SUGAR!!  ..  Let's see..
 Next, I'll have the GROUND-UP flesh of CUTE, BABY LAMBS
 fried in the MELTED, FATTY TISSUES from a warm-blooded
 animal someone once PETTED!!  ...  YUM!!  That was GOOD!!
 For DESSERT, I'll have a TOFU BURGER with BEAN SPROUTS
 on a stone-ground, WHOLE WHEAT BUN!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Well, I'm INVISIBLE AGAIN..  I might as well pay a visit to the
 LADIES ROOM...

Earlier you said we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban?

     
    
I am the psychotherapist.  Please, describe your problems.  Each
time you are finished talking, type RET twice.

..  Should I get locked in the PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE today --
 or have a VASECTOMY??

Why do you say that?

Are we live or on tape?

What makes you believe are you live or on tape?

I feel like I am sharing a ``CORN-DOG'' with NIKITA KHRUSCHEV..

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

Are we THERE yet?  My MIND is a SUBMARINE!!

Is it because of your life that you say your mind is a submarine?

YOW!!  What should the entire human race DO??  Consume a fifth
 of CHIVAS REGAL, ski NUDE down MT. EVEREST, and have a wild
 SEX WEEKEND!

Are you afraid of sex?

...PENGUINS are floating by...

Are you sure that...penguins are floating by?

ALFRED JARRY!  Say something about th' DEATH of DISCO!!

This is not a healthy way of thinking.

CHUBBY CHECKER owns my BUILDING!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

Leona, I want to CONFESS things to you..
 I want to WRAP you in a SCARLET ROBE trimmed with POLYVINYL CHLORIDE..
 I want to EMPTY your ASHTRAYS...

Do you really think you might want to empty?

I am having a pleasant time!!

Is it because of problems at school that you say you are having a
pleasant time?

OVER the undertow!  UNDER the overpass!  Around the FUTURE
 and BEYOND REPAIR!!

Earlier you said you would like to empty?

I brought my BOWLING BALL - and some DRUGS!!

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

LOOK!!  Sullen American teens wearing MADRAS shorts and
 ``Flock of Seagulls'' HAIRCUTS!

I don't understand.

You must be a CUB SCOUT!!  Have you made your MONEY-DROP today??

You mentioned that you would like to empty?

YOW!!  Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL!

Perhaps this has something to do with your sex life?

I'm continually AMAZED at th'breathtaking effects of WIND EROSION!!

Possibly hangups you have are related to this.

I'm using my X-RAY VISION to obtain a rare glimpse of the
 INNER WORKINGS of this POTATO!!

What makes you think you would like to empty?

I know things about TROY DONAHUE that can't even be PRINTED!!

Is it because cannot even be printed that you came to me?

I can't think about that.  It doesn't go with HEDGES in the shape of
 LITTLE LULU -- or ROBOTS making BRICKS...

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

How's it going in those MODULAR LOVE UNITS??

Does it bother you that modular loves someone?

Am I elected yet?

Why do you say are you elected yet?

I'm having an emotional outburst!!

Earlier you said you would like to empty?

Yow!  I threw up on my window!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

YOW!  I can see 1987!!  PRESIDENT FORD is doing the REMAKE of "PAGAN
 LOVE SONG"...he's playing ESTHER WILLIAMS!!

Are you annoyed that pagan loves someone?

Why was I BORN?

Did you ever regret was you born?

Yow!  It's a hole all the way to downtown Burbank!

Have you been frightened by that?

Please come home with me...  I have Tylenol!!

You mentioned that cannot even be printed?

Here is my refrigerator full of FLANK STEAK...and over there is my
 UPHOLSTERED CANOE...I don't know WHY I OWN them!!

When did you first know that you own them?

Just imagine you're entering a state-of-the-art CAR WASH!!

Maybe this is related to some problems at home?

I'LL get it!!  It's probably a FEW of my ITALIAN GIRL-FRIENDS!!

What makes you believe that?

FOOLED you!  Absorb EGO SHATTERING impulse rays, polyester poltroon!!

Are you sure that you would like to empty?

WHOA!!  Ken and Barbie are having TOO MUCH FUN!!  It must
 be the NEGATIVE IONS!!

Perhaps your plans could have caused this.

I brought my BOWLING BALL - and some DRUGS!!

Is it because of your life that you say you brought your bowling
ball and some drugs?

It's so OBVIOUS!!

Earlier you said was you born?

Is this "BIKINI BEACH"?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

..  I want to perform cranial activities with Tuesday Weld!!

How does it feel to want?

I joined scientology at a garage sale!!

Do you really think you joined scientology at a garage sale?

I'll eat ANYTHING that's BRIGHT BLUE!!

You mentioned that cannot even be printed?

Yow!  Maybe I should have asked for my Neutron Bomb in PAISLEY--

How do you reconcile problems at school?

What a COINCIDENCE!  I'm an authorized ``SNOOTS OF THE STARS'' dealer!!

I don't understand.

O.K.!  Speak with a PHILADELPHIA ACCENT!!  Send out for CHINESE FOOD!!
 Hop a JET!

What makes you think you own them?

Is this ANYWHERE, USA?

Possibly this could be the reason for any hobbies you have?

Are you guys lined up for the METHADONE PROGRAM or FOOD STAMPS??

Maybe your sex life could be the reason for this.

Have my two-tone, 1958 Nash METRO brought around..

Earlier you said you would like to empty?

Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE
 with your BOOTH!

Is the fact that do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth the real reason?

I just had a MAJOR CONTRACT DISPUTE with SUZANNE SOMERS!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

It's strange, but I'm only TRULY ALIVE when I'm covered in POLKA DOTS
 and TACO SAUCE...

Does the fact that you are only truly alive when you are covered
in polka dots and taco sauce explain anything else?

Uh-oh!!  I'm having TOO MUCH FUN!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say you are having too
much fun?

I can't think about that.  It doesn't go with HEDGES in the shape of
 LITTLE LULU -- or ROBOTS making BRICKS...

You mentioned that was you born?

I'm pretending that we're all watching PHIL SILVERS
 instead of RICARDO MONTALBAN!

Have you been sure we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban?

Four thousand different MAGNATES, MOGULS & NABOBS are romping in my
 gothic solarium!!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!

Why do you say you just forgot your whole philosophy of life?

Do I hear th' SPINNING of various WHIRRING, ROUND, and WARM
 WHIRLOMATICS?!

What makes you believe you would like to perform?

Finally, Zippy drives his 1958 RAMBLER METROPOLITAN into the
 faculty dining room.

Yow!  Are we interactive yet?

I am having a pleasant time!!

Perhaps this is caused by some problems at home?

I'm having a BIG BANG THEORY!!

Is it because of your plans that you say you are having a big
bang theory?

..Am I in a SOAP OPERA??

Earlier you said cannot even be printed?

I Know A Joke

Possibly your life are caused by this.

Alright, you!!  Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!

Are you scared of that?

I put aside my copy of ``BOWLING WORLD'' and think
 about GUN CONTROL legislation..

You mentioned that you own them?

WHOA!!  I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE right NOW!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

How's it going in those MODULAR LOVE UNITS??

Are you sorry modular loves someone?

Four thousand different MAGNATES, MOGULS & NABOBS are romping in my
 gothic solarium!!

Are you sure that that?

BARBARA STANWYCK makes me nervous!!

Do you really think you would like to empty?

When I met th'POPE back in '58, I scrubbed him with a MILD SOAP
 or DETERGENT for 15 minutes.  He seemed to enjoy it..

How do you reconcile problems at school?

I have no actual hairline...

What makes you think you have no actual hairline?

NOT fucking!! Also not a PACKAGE of LOOSE-LEAF PAPER!!

Tell me about something about your sexual history.

I'm in direct contact with many advanced fun CONCEPTS.

Earlier you said do I know what it means to be truly one with my
booth?

My life is a patio of fun!

Maybe this is because of any hobbies you have?

Should I start with the time I SWITCHED personalities with a BEATNIK
 hair stylist or my failure to refer five TEENAGERS to a good OCULIST?

I don't understand.

Actually, what I'd like is a little toy spaceship!!

You mentioned that you are only truly alive when you are covered
in polka dots and taco sauce?

Make me look like LINDA RONSTADT again!!

Perhaps your sex life are because of this.

With this weapon I can expose fictional characters and bring about
 sweeping reforms!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

YUGGA-HUGGA-BUGGA-TUGGA!!  HEY-HEY!!  A TRAIN STATION!!  No, a POST
 OFFICE!!  An OCEAN LINER!!  No, I think it's a CAFETERIA!!!

Why do you say was you born?

I guess it was all a DREAM..  or an episode of HAWAII FIVE-O...

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

Place me on a BUFFER counter while you BELITTLE several BELLHOPS
 in the Trianon Room!!  Let me one of your SUBSIDIARIES!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say let
you one of my subsidiaries?

I pretend I'm living in a styrofoam packing crate, high in th'
 SWISS ALPS, still unable to accept th' idea of TOUCH-TONE DIALING!!

Do you get high often?

Look!!  Karl Malden!

Earlier you said we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban?

I just remembered something about a TOAD!

Possibly this has something to do with some problems at home?

- if it GLISTENS, gobble it!!

What makes you believe - if it glistens gobble it?

..  I wonder if I ought to tell them about my PREVIOUS LIFE
 as a COMPLETE STRANGER?

You mentioned that you would like to perform?

RHAPSODY in Glue!

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

Yow!  Now I get to think about all the BAD THINGS I did to a BOWLING BALL
 when I was in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL!

Talk about your school.

These PRESERVES should be FORCE-FED to PENTAGON OFFICIALS!!

Have you been afraid of that?

My EARS are GONE!!

Are you sure that cannot even be printed?

I just bought FLATBUSH from MICKEY MANTLE!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

BEEP-BEEP!!  I'm a '49 STUDEBAKER!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say you
are a '49 studebaker?

I was born in a Hostess Cupcake factory before the sexual revolution!

Earlier you said you own them?

When you get your PH.D. will you get able to work at BURGER KING?

What happened when I get my ph d will I get able to work at
burger king?

Those aren't WINOS--that's my JUGGLER, my AERIALIST,
 my SWORD SWALLOWER, and my LATEX NOVELTY SUPPLIER!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

Eisenhower!!  Your mimeograph machine upsets my stomach!!

You have your mind on machines, it seems.

Someone is DROOLING on my collar!!

Do you really think someone is drooling on your collar?

I brought my BOWLING BALL - and some DRUGS!!

You mentioned that you would like to empty?

Yow!

Have you been Zippy?

Oh my GOD -- the SUN just fell into YANKEE STADIUM!!

Perhaps this is related to any hobbies you have?

..  My vaseline is RUNNING...

Is it because of your sex life that you say your vaseline is
running?

By MEER biz doo SCHOIN..

What makes you think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

NOT fucking!! Also not a PACKAGE of LOOSE-LEAF PAPER!!

I would appreciate it if you would discuss your sex life...

I'm continually AMAZED at th'breathtaking effects of WIND EROSION!!

Possibly hangups you have are related to this.

Why are these athletic shoe salesmen following me??

Is it because are these athletic shoe salesmen following you that
you came to me?

Didn't I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo?

Why do you say that?

Yow!  I want my nose in lights!

Earlier you said you are only truly alive when you are covered in
polka dots and taco sauce?

-- In 1962, you could buy a pair of SHARKSKIN SLACKS, with a
 ``Continental Belt,'' for $10.99!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

Bo Derek ruined my life!

What makes you believe bo derek ruined your life?

A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAQUIRI!!

You mentioned that was you born?

Join the PLUMBER'S UNION!!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

BARRY..  That was the most HEART-WARMING rendition of
 ``I DID IT MY WAY'' I've ever heard!!

Are you satisfied with the fact that was the most heart warming
rendition of you did it your way'' you have ever heard?

You were s'posed to laugh!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say I was s'posed
to laugh?

If a person is FAMOUS in this country, they have to go on the ROAD
 for MONTHS at a time and have their name misspelled on the SIDE
 of a GREYHOUND SCENICRUISER!!

Are you sure that you were high?

Hey, I LIKE that POINT!!

Maybe this could be the reason for your plans?

OVER the undertow!  UNDER the overpass!  Around the FUTURE
 and BEYOND REPAIR!!

Do you really think around the future and beyond repair?

Kids, the seven basic food groups are GUM, PUFF PASTRY, PIZZA,
 PESTICIDES, ANTIBIOTICS, NUTRA-SWEET and MILK DUDS!!

Earlier you said we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban?

Somewhere in Tenafly, New Jersey, a chiropractor is viewing
 ``Leave it to Beaver''!

Perhaps your life could have caused this.

Two LITTLE black dots and one BIG black dot...nice 'n' FLUFFY!!

I don't understand.

..  are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER?

You mentioned that you would like to perform?

If Robert Di Niro assassinates Walter Slezak, will
 Jodie Foster marry Bonzo??

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

..  I wonder if I ought to tell them about my PREVIOUS LIFE
 as a COMPLETE STRANGER?

How do you reconcile problems at school?

Hello.  Just walk along and try NOT to think about your
 INTESTINES being almost FORTY YARDS LONG!!

What makes you think cannot even be printed?

Yow!  And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights!

Possibly this is caused by any hobbies you have?

I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!

Are you frightened by that?

I just had a NOSE JOB!!

Earlier you said you own them?

PUNK ROCK!!  DISCO DUCK!!  BIRTH CONTROL!!

Maybe your sex life could be the reason for this.

Impudent..  Yet possessing a certain ALUMINUM SILICATE
 overbite....Needs REDDY-WHIP!!

Why do you say that?

I'm having a MID-WEEK CRISIS!

You mentioned that you would like to empty?

QUIET!!  I'm being CREATIVE!!  Is it GREAT yet?  It's s'posed to
 SMOKEY THE BEAR...

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

YOW!!  I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!

I don't understand.

Let's go to CHURCH!

What makes you believe do I know what it means to be truly one
with my booth?

Our father who art in heaven..  I sincerely pray that SOMEBODY
 at this table will PAY for my SHREDDED WHAT and ENGLISH MUFFIN..
 and also leave a GENEROUS TIP...

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

Tex SEX!  The HOME of WHEELS!  The dripping of COFFEE!!  Take me
 to Minnesota but don't EMBARRASS me!!

When did you first know that do not embarrass you?

I think I am an overnight sensation right now!!

Perhaps this is because of some problems in your childhood?

I Know A Joke

Earlier you said are these athletic shoe salesmen following you?

Where's my SOCIAL WORKER?

Possibly some problems at home are caused by this.

Talking Pinhead Blues:
 Oh, I LOST my ``HELLO KITTY'' DOLL and I get BAD reception on
  channel TWENTY-SIX!!
 Th'HOSTESS FACTORY is closin' down and I just heard ZASU PITTS
  has been DEAD for YEARS..  (sniff)
 My PLATFORM SHOE collection was CHEWED up by th'dog, ALEXANDER
  HAIG won't let me take a SHOWER 'til Easter.. (snurf)
 So I went to the kitchen, but WALNUT PANELING whup me
  upside mah HAID!! (on no, no, no..  Heh, heh)

Is it because of your plans that you say heh heh?

Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS...

You mentioned that you are only truly alive when you are covered
in polka dots and taco sauce?

Somewhere in DOWNTOWN BURBANK a prostitute is OVERCOOKING a LAMB CHOP!!

Tell me more about your feelings about your sexual partner.

I'm rated PG-34!!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

Gibble, Gobble, we ACCEPT YOU ---

Are you sure that gibble gobble you accept me?

Why is everything made of Lycra Spandex?

Is the fact that is everything made of lycra spandex the real
reason?

..I just walked into th' HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES with fourteen WET
 DOLPHINS and an out-of-date MARRIAGE MANUAL...

Do you really think was you born?

Look!  A ladder!  Maybe it leads to heaven, or a sandwich!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Are you mentally here at Pizza Hut??

Is it because of problems at school that you say are me mentally
there at pizza hut?

CHUBBY CHECKER owns my BUILDING!

Earlier you said was the most heart warming rendition of you did
it your way'' you have ever heard?

And furthermore, my bowling average is unimpeachable!!!

Maybe this has something to do with any hobbies you have?

INSIDE, I have the same personality disorder as LUCY RICARDO!!

Have you been scared of that?

This PORCUPINE knows his ZIPCODE..  And he has ``VISA''!!

You mentioned that you were high?

Send your questions to ``ASK ZIPPY'', Box 40474,
 San Francisco, CA 94140, USA

Perhaps your sex life are because of this.

This is my WILLIAM BENDIX memorial CORNER where I worship William
 Bendix like a GOD!!

Why should bendix get to have this god?

I'm having a BIG BANG THEORY!!

What makes you think you are having a big bang theory?

Our father who art in heaven..  I sincerely pray that SOMEBODY
 at this table will PAY for my SHREDDED WHAT and ENGLISH MUFFIN..
 and also leave a GENEROUS TIP...

Why do you say we're all watching phil silvers instead of ricardo
montalban?

As President I have to go vacuum my coin collection!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

I think my CAREER is RUINED!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say you think your
career is ruined?

Now that we're in LOVE, you can BUY this GOLDFISH for a 48% DISCOUNT.

Does the fact that we're in love I can buy this goldfish for a
48% discount explain anything else?

Well, I'm a classic ANAL RETENTIVE!!  And I'm looking for a way to
 VICARIOUSLY experience some reason to LIVE!!

Earlier you said you would like to perform?

I've been WRITING to SOPHIA LOREN every 45 MINUTES since JANUARY 1ST!!

What would happen if january 1st?

OMNIVERSAL AWARENESS??  Oh, YEH!!  First you need 4 GALLONS of JELL-O
 and a BIG WRENCH!!...  I think you drop th'WRENCH in the JELL-O as if
 it was a FLAVOR, or an INGREDIENT...  ...or...I...um...  WHERE'S the
 WASHING MACHINES?

You think too much about machines.

Yow!  STYROFOAM..

Can you elaborate on that?

HERE!!  Put THIS on!!  I'm in CHARGE!!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

--- I have seen the FUN ---

What makes you believe --- i have seen the fun?

I had pancake makeup for brunch!

You mentioned that cannot even be printed?

..  I feel..  JUGULAR..

Perhaps you could continue.

I'm meditating on the FORMALDEHYDE and the ASBESTOS leaking into my
 PERSONAL SPACE!!

Possibly this is related to some problems at home?

Yow!  It's a hole all the way to downtown Burbank!

Are you sure that that?

HELLO, little boys!   Gimme a MINT TULIP!!  Let's do the BOSSA NOVA!!

Do you really think you own them?

Eisenhower!!  Your mimeograph machine upsets my stomach!!

You should try taking your mind off of machines.

I smell a RANCID CORN DOG!

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

OMNIVERSAL AWARENESS??  Oh, YEH!!  First you need 4 GALLONS of JELL-O
 and a BIG WRENCH!!...  I think you drop th'WRENCH in the JELL-O as if
 it was a FLAVOR, or an INGREDIENT...  ...or...I...um...  WHERE'S the
 WASHING MACHINES?

Are you a computer hacker?

..  So, if we convert SUPPLY-SIDE SOYBEAN FUTURES into
 HIGH-YIELD T-BILL INDICATORS, the PRE-INFLATIONARY risks
 will DWINDLE to a rate of 2 SHOPPING SPREES per EGGPLANT!!

Do you enjoy being high?

..  Now I think I just reached the state of HYPERTENSION that comes
 JUST BEFORE you see the TOTAL at the SAFEWAY CHECKOUT COUNTER!

Have you been positive comes just before I see the total at the
safeway checkout counter?

YOW!!  Up ahead!  It's a DONUT HUT!!

Is it because of your life that you say it's a donut hut?

HOW could a GLASS be YELLING??

Is it because could a glass be yelling that you came to me?

Were these parsnips CORRECTLY MARINATED in TACO SAUCE?

Earlier you said you would like to empty?

Th' PINK SOCK... soaking... soaking... soaking...
 Th' PINK SOCK... washing... washing... washing...
 Th' PINK SOCK... rinsing... rinsing... rinsing...

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

NOW do I get to blow out the CANDLES??

I don't understand.

Yow!  Now we can become alcoholics!

You mentioned that do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

Life is selling REVOLUTIONARY HAIR PRODUCTS!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

YOW!!

I believe you have some serious inhibitions.

Civilization is fun!  Anyway, it keeps me busy!!

Does it bother you that it keeps you busy?

I am deeply CONCERNED and I want something GOOD for BREAKFAST!

Perhaps this could be the reason for any hobbies you have?

..  Should I get locked in the PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE today --
 or have a VASECTOMY??

What makes you think do not embarrass you?

I'm having fun HITCHHIKING to CINCINNATI or FAR ROCKAWAY!!

Possibly your sex life are related to this.

I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!

Are you afraid of that?

Now I'm being INVOLUNTARILY shuffled closer to the CLAM DIP
 with the BROKEN PLASTIC FORKS in it!!

Earlier you said are these athletic shoe salesmen following you?

I decided to be JOHN TRAVOLTA instead!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

And furthermore, my bowling average is unimpeachable!!!

Why do you say and furthermore your bowling average is
unimpeachable?

Is a tattoo real, like a curb or a battleship?
 Or are we suffering in Safeway?

You mentioned that you are only truly alive when you are covered
in polka dots and taco sauce?

HOW could a GLASS be YELLING??

When did you first know that could a glass be yelling?

QUIET!!  I'm being CREATIVE!!  Is it GREAT yet?  It's s'posed to
 SMOKEY THE BEAR...

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

..  I think I'd better go back to my DESK and toy with
 a few common MISAPPREHENSIONS...

What makes you believe that?

BELA LUGOSI is my co-pilot..

Are you sure that is everything made of lycra spandex?

WHO sees a BEACH BUNNY sobbing on a SHAG RUG?!

Maybe this is caused by some problems in your childhood?

Somewhere in suburban Honolulu, an unemployed bellhop is whipping up
 a batch of illegal psilocybin chop suey!!

I don't understand.

There's enough money here to buy 5000 cans of Noodle-Roni!

Earlier you said was you born?

It's OKAY --- I'm an INTELLECTUAL, too.

Perhaps some problems at home could have caused this.

Somewhere in DOWNTOWN BURBANK a prostitute is OVERCOOKING a LAMB CHOP!!

Elaborate on your most vivid sexual experience.

KARL MALDEN'S NOSE just won an ACADEMY AWARD!!

Is it because of your plans that you say karl malden's nose just
won an academy award?

It's 74 degrees, 12 minutes NORTH, and 41 degrees, 3 minutes EAST!!
 Soon, it will be TUESDAY!!

You mentioned that was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

I'm ZIPPY!!  Are we having FUN yet??

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

I'm receiving a coded message from EUBIE BLAKE!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

MERYL STREEP is my obstetrician!

Do you really think you were high?

In order to make PLANS for the WEEKEND...so that we can read RESTAURANT
 REVIEWS and decide to GO to that restaurant & then NEVER GO...so we can
 meet a FRIEND after work in a BAR and COMPLAIN about Interior Sect'y
 JAMES WATT until the SUBJECT is changed to NUCLEAR BLACKMAIL...and so
 our RELATIVES can FORCE us to listen to HOCKEY STATISTICS while we
 wait for them to LEAVE on the 7:48....

What happened when you wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

Somewhere in Tenafly, New Jersey, a chiropractor is viewing
 ``Leave it to Beaver''!

Possibly this is because of problems at school?

He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE
 inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER!  Or maybe he'd
 like to PSYCHOLOGICALLY TERRORIZE ME until I have no objection
 to a RIGHT-WING MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!!  I guess
 I should call AL PACINO!

What makes you think you guess you should call al pacino?

ONE:  I will donate my entire ``BABY HUEY'' comic book collection
 to the downtown PLASMA CENTER..
 TWO:  I won't START a BAND called ``KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD''..
 THREE:  I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!

Earlier you said bendix would like to have this god?

INSIDE, I have the same personality disorder as LUCY RICARDO!!

Maybe any hobbies you have could be the reason for this.

I'm having a BIG BANG THEORY!!

Is it because of your sex life that you say you are having a big
bang theory?

I had a lease on an OEDIPUS COMPLEX back in '81...

You mentioned that we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban?

Darling, my ELBOW is FLYING over FRANKFURT, Germany..

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

I'm a nuclear submarine under the polar ice cap and I need a Kleenex!

When did you first desire to have this kleenex?

Quick, sing me the BUDAPEST NATIONAL ANTHEM!!

Why do you say quick sing you the budapest national anthem?

Hey, waiter!  I want a NEW SHIRT and a PONY TAIL with lemon sauce!

Have you been obsessed with to have this new?

I'LL get it!!  It's probably a FEW of my ITALIAN GIRL-FRIENDS!!

What makes you believe we're in love I can buy this goldfish for
a 48% discount?

I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE..  and I don't take any DRUGS

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

You mean now I can SHOOT YOU in the back and further BLUR
 th' distinction between FANTASY and REALITY?

Have you been frightened by that?

Have my two-tone, 1958 Nash METRO brought around..

Earlier you said you would like to perform?

YOW!!!  I am having fun!!!

Perhaps this has something to do with some problems in your
childhood?

Talking Pinhead Blues:
 Oh, I LOST my ``HELLO KITTY'' DOLL and I get BAD reception on
  channel TWENTY-SIX!!
 Th'HOSTESS FACTORY is closin' down and I just heard ZASU PITTS
  has been DEAD for YEARS..  (sniff)
 My PLATFORM SHOE collection was CHEWED up by th'dog, ALEXANDER
  HAIG won't let me take a SHOWER 'til Easter.. (snurf)
 So I went to the kitchen, but WALNUT PANELING whup me
  upside mah HAID!! (on no, no, no..  Heh, heh)

Is it because of some problems at home that you say heh heh?

What GOOD is a CARDBOARD suitcase ANYWAY?

Go on, don't be afraid.

Inside, I'm already SOBBING!

You mentioned that cannot even be printed?

I'm having an emotional outburst!!

Possibly your plans are caused by this.

Was my SOY LOAF left out in th'RAIN?  It tastes REAL GOOD!!

Are you sure that it tastes real good?

TONY RANDALL!  Is YOUR life a PATIO of FUN??

Do you really think you own them?

Three attractive BANK ROBBERS are discussing RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES and
 MAKE-UP TECHNIQUE with them!!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

Join the PLUMBER'S UNION!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say
join the plumber's union?

LOU GRANT froze my ASSETS!!

Earlier you said you were high?

LBJ, LBJ, how many JOKES did you tell today??!

Is the fact that many jokes did I tell today the real reason?

I wish I was a sex-starved manicurist found dead in the Bronx!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

QUIET!!  I'm being CREATIVE!!  Is it GREAT yet?  It's s'posed to
 SMOKEY THE BEAR...

What makes you think it's s'posed to smokey the bear?

I just bought FLATBUSH from MICKEY MANTLE!

You mentioned that comes just before I see the total at the
safeway checkout counter?

It's OBVIOUS..  The FURS never reached ISTANBUL..  You were
 an EXTRA in the REMAKE of ``TOPKAPI''..  Go home to your
 WIFE..  She's making FRENCH TOAST!

Maybe this is related to any hobbies you have?

Look!  A ladder!  Maybe it leads to heaven, or a sandwich!

Is it because of your sex life that you say maybe it leads to
heaven or a sandwich?

This is PLEASANT!

Why do you say could a glass be yelling?

Who wants some OYSTERS with SEN-SEN an' COOL WHIP?

Perhaps hangups you have are because of this.

I just got my PRINCE bumper sticker..
 But now I can't remember WHO he is...

Does the fact that now you cannot remember who he is explain
anything else?

Once, there was NO fun...  This was before MENU planning,
 FASHION statements or NAUTILUS equipment...
 Then, in 1985..  FUN was completely encoded in this tiny MICROCHIP..
 It contain 14,768 vaguely amusing SIT-COM pilots!!
 We had to wait FOUR BILLION years but we finally got JERRY LEWIS,
 MTV and a large selection of creme-filled snack cakes!

Are you certain you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes?

I just had my entire INTESTINAL TRACT coated with TEFLON!

What makes you believe that?

Now I understand the meaning of ``THE MOD SQUAD''!

Earlier you said you would like to empty?

I'll take ROAST BEEF if you're out of LAMB!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

On SECOND thought, maybe I'll heat up some BAKED BEANS and
 watch REGIS PHILBIN..  It's GREAT to be ALIVE!!

Are you sure that it's great to be alive?

..  My vaseline is RUNNING...

You mentioned that do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

My haircut is totally traditional!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Where's the Coke machine?  Tell me a joke!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say tell you a
joke?

Here I am in the POSTERIOR OLFACTORY LOBULE but I don't see CARL SAGAN
 anywhere!!

Is it because you do not see carl sagan anywhere that you came to
me?

YOW!!  Now I understand advanced MICROBIOLOGY
 and th' new TAX REFORM laws!!

Do you really think it keeps you busy?

There's enough money here to buy 5000 cans of Noodle-Roni!

Possibly this could be the reason for your plans?

ANN JILLIAN'S HAIR makes LONI ANDERSON'S HAIR look like
 RICARDO MONTALBAN'S HAIR!

I don't understand.

Is this my STOP??

Earlier you said do not embarrass you?

How many retired bricklayers from FLORIDA are out purchasing
 PENCIL SHARPENERS right NOW??

Are you annoyed that many retired bricklayers from florida are
out purchasing pencil sharpeners right now?

..  I wonder if I ought to tell them about my PREVIOUS LIFE
 as a COMPLETE STRANGER?

Maybe your life have something to do with this.

Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!!  A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed
 with the shreds of SEVERAL CHICKENS!!...  Oh BOY!!  I'm
 about to swallow a TORN-OFF section of a COW'S LEFT LEG
 soaked in COTTONSEED OIL and SUGAR!!  ..  Let's see..
 Next, I'll have the GROUND-UP flesh of CUTE, BABY LAMBS
 fried in the MELTED, FATTY TISSUES from a warm-blooded
 animal someone once PETTED!!  ...  YUM!!  That was GOOD!!
 For DESSERT, I'll have a TOFU BURGER with BEAN SPROUTS
 on a stone-ground, WHOLE WHEAT BUN!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

A shapely CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL is FIDGETING inside my costume..

You mentioned that are these athletic shoe salesmen following
you?

Is there something I should be DOING with a GLAZED DONUT??

How do you reconcile problems at school?

Are we THERE yet??

What makes you think are you there yet?

Sometimes a TABOO is just a good CIGAR -- or a
 rare STEAK -- or a dry MARTINI!

Why do you say you are only truly alive when you are covered in
polka dots and taco sauce?

Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA?

Perhaps this is caused by any hobbies you have?

Yow!  It's some people inside the wall!  This is better than mopping!

Is it because of your sex life that you say this is better than
mopping?

While you're chewing, think of STEVEN SPIELBERG'S
 bank account..  This will have the same effect as
 two ``STARCH BLOCKERS''!

Earlier you said could a glass be yelling?

Let's send the Russians defective lifestyle accessories!

Possibly hangups you have are related to this.

Imagine--a WORLD without POODLES...

What makes you believe imagine a world without poodles?

OMNIVERSAL AWARENESS??  Oh, YEH!!  First you need 4 GALLONS of JELL-O
 and a BIG WRENCH!!...  I think you drop th'WRENCH in the JELL-O as if
 it was a FLAVOR, or an INGREDIENT...  ...or...I...um...  WHERE'S the
 WASHING MACHINES?

You have your mind on machines, it seems.

Yow!  Now we can become alcoholics!

You mentioned that is everything made of lycra spandex?

I'm ZIPPY!!  Are we having FUN yet??

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

..The TENSION mounts as I MASSAGE your RIGHT ANKLE according to
 ancient Tibetan ACCOUNTING PROCEDURES..are you NEUROTIC yet??

Have you been scared of that?

I predict that by 1993 everyone will live in and around LAS VEGAS and
 wear BEATLE HAIRCUTS!

When did you first know that by 1993 everyone will live in and
around las vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

I Know A Joke

Are you sure that was you born?

Here I am at the flea market but nobody is buying
 my urine sample bottles..

Is the fact that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles the
real reason?

C'MON, everybody!!  I've flown in LESLIE GORE and two dozen KOSHER
 BUTCHERS!  They'll be doing intricate MILITARY MANEUVERS to the
 soundtrack from "OKLAHOMA"!!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

I want you to MEMORIZE the collected poems of EDNA ST VINCENT MILLAY..
 BACKWARDS!!

I need a little more detail please.

..  my NOSE is NUMB!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say your nose is
numb?

..  I wonder if I ought to tell them about my PREVIOUS LIFE
 as a COMPLETE STRANGER?

Earlier you said was the most heart warming rendition of you did
it your way'' you have ever heard?

Here I am at the flea market but nobody is buying
 my urine sample bottles..

Does the fact that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles
explain anything else?

I'm in direct contact with many advanced fun CONCEPTS.

Maybe this is because of your plans?

All right, you degenerates!  I want this place evacuated in 20 seconds!

Do you really think you want this place evacuated in 20 seconds?

Do I have a lifestyle yet?

You mentioned that you were high?

The fact that 47 PEOPLE are yelling and sweat is cascading
 down my SPINAL COLUMN is fairly enjoyable!!

Have you been absolutely sure 47 people are yelling and sweat is
cascading down your spinal column is fairly enjoyable?

Bo Derek ruined my life!

Perhaps your life could have caused this.

I can't decide which WRONG TURN to make first!!
 I wonder if BOB GUCCIONE has these problems!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say you
wonder if bob guccione has these problems?

Now I understand the meaning of ``THE MOD SQUAD''!

What makes you think bendix would like to have this god?

I always liked FLAG DAY!!

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

When you get your PH.D. will you get able to work at BURGER KING?

What would happen if I get my ph d will I get able to work at
burger king?

..  Once upon a time, four AMPHIBIOUS HOG CALLERS attacked a family
 of DEFENSELESS, SENSITIVE COIN COLLECTORS and brought DOWN their
 PROPERTY VALUES!!

Tell me more about your family.

How's the wife?  Is she at home enjoying capitalism?

Why do you say is she at home enjoying capitalism?

If elected, Zippy pledges to each and every American
 a 55-year-old houseboy...

Did you ever regret you are a pinhead?

If Robert Di Niro assassinates Walter Slezak, will
 Jodie Foster marry Bonzo??

Earlier you said we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban?

Now I am depressed...

Are you depressed often?

I'm ZIPPY the PINHEAD and I'm totally committed to the festive mode.

Have you been Zippy?

Now my EMOTIONAL RESOURCES are heavily committed to 23% of the
 SMELTING and REFINING industry of the state of NEVADA!!

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

I hope you millionaires are having fun!  I just invested half
 your life savings in yeast!!

What makes you believe that?

Yow!  Are we in the perfect mood?

You mentioned that you would like to have this kleenex?

Two LITTLE black dots and one BIG black dot...nice 'n' FLUFFY!!

Possibly this has something to do with your sex life?

Let's climb to the TOP of that MOUNTAIN and think about STRIP MINING!!

Is it because mountain and think about strip mining that you came
to me?

My nose feels like a bad Ronald Reagan movie...

Why should I give to have this bad ronald to nose?

What GOOD is a CARDBOARD suitcase ANYWAY?

You're being a bit brief, please, go into detail.

I'm definitely not in Omaha!

Is it because of hangups you have that you say you are definitely
not in omaha?

..  I think I'll KILL myself by leaping out of this
 14th STORY WINDOW while reading ERICA JONG'S poetry!!

If you are really suicidal, you might want to contact the
Samaritans via E-mail: jo@samaritans.org or, at your option,
anonymous E-mail: samaritans@anon.twwells.com .  Or find a
Befrienders crisis center at http://www.befrienders.org/ .  Would
you please continue.

My nose feels like a bad Ronald Reagan movie...

Have you ever gotten to have this bad ronald?

..  are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER?

Are you sure that you would like to have this new?

Eisenhower!!  Your mimeograph machine upsets my stomach!!

You think too much about machines.

Is this BOISE??

Maybe your inhibitions could be the reason for this.

I am NOT a nut....

Do you really think you are not a nut?

Imagine--a WORLD without POODLES...

Earlier you said we're in love I can buy this goldfish for a 48%
discount?

I wish I was on a Cincinnati street corner holding a clean dog!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

Yow!  Are we in the perfect mood?

Is it because of some problems at home that you say are you in
the perfect mood?

I will SHAVE and buy JELL-O and bring my MARRIAGE MANUAL!!

You mentioned that you would like to perform?

I'm continually AMAZED at th'breathtaking effects of WIND EROSION!!

How do you reconcile your plans?

Was my SOY LOAF left out in th'RAIN?  It tastes REAL GOOD!!

What makes you think it tastes real good?

I have accepted Provolone into my life!

Why do you say cannot even be printed?

Did you move a lot of KOREAN STEAK KNIVES this trip, Dingy?

Perhaps this is related to your life?

Now I'm concentrating on a specific tank battle toward
 the end of World War II!

I don't understand.

Of course, you UNDERSTAND about the PLAIDS in the SPIN CYCLE --

Earlier you said you own them?

The Korean War must have been fun.

Possibly the people you hang around with are caused by this.

It's a lot of fun being alive...  I wonder if my bed is made?!?

Is it because of problems at school that you say you wonder if
your bed is made?

Have my two-tone, 1958 Nash METRO brought around..

You mentioned that you were high?

FROZEN ENTREES may be flung by members of opposing SWANSON SECTS..

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you are going through
all this?

I think I'll do BOTH if I can get RESIDUALS!!

How do you reconcile your sex life?

I smell like a wet reducing clinic on Columbus Day!

What makes you believe smell might wish to have this wet?

PUNK ROCK!!  DISCO DUCK!!  BIRTH CONTROL!!

Are you sure that many jokes did I tell today?

I am a jelly donut.  I am a jelly donut.

Maybe this could be the reason for hangups you have?

I'm receiving a coded message from EUBIE BLAKE!!

Have you been afraid of that?

I appoint you ambassador to Fantasy Island!!!

Earlier you said comes just before I see the total at the safeway
checkout counter?

I'm ZIPPY!!  Are we having FUN yet??

Perhaps your inhibitions are because of this.

YOU'D cry too if it happened to YOU!!

Do you really think that?

I'm having a BIG BANG THEORY!!

You mentioned that could a glass be yelling?

These PRESERVES should be FORCE-FED to PENTAGON OFFICIALS!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

I've got to get these SNACK CAKES to NEWARK by DAWN!!

I don't understand.

..  I think I'd better go back to my DESK and toy with
 a few common MISAPPREHENSIONS...

What makes you think now you cannot remember who he is?

Zippy's brain cells are straining to bridge synapses...

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

If I am elected, the concrete barriers around the WHITE HOUSE
 will be replaced by tasteful foam replicas of ANN MARGARET!

Possibly this is caused by your plans?

Is this an out-take from the ``BRADY BUNCH''?

Earlier you said you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes?

Let's send the Russians defective lifestyle accessories!

Maybe your life have something to do with this.

I brought my BOWLING BALL - and some DRUGS!!

Why do you say you brought your bowling ball and some drugs?

I was giving HAIR CUTS to th' SAUCER PEOPLE ..  I'm CLEAN!!

You mentioned that you would like to empty?

Okay..  I'm going home to write the ``I HATE RUBIK's CUBE
 HANDBOOK FOR DEAD CAT LOVERS''..

Are you sorry you, too, may die someday?

Do I have a lifestyle yet?

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

All right, you degenerates!  I want this place evacuated in 20 seconds!

Is it because of problems at school that you say you want this
place evacuated in 20 seconds?

I Know A Joke

What makes you believe do I know what it means to be truly one
with my booth?

If Robert Di Niro assassinates Walter Slezak, will
 Jodie Foster marry Bonzo??

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

I left my WALLET in the BATHROOM!!

Are you sure that you left your wallet in the bathroom?

If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!

Earlier you said you do not see carl sagan anywhere?

HELLO, everybody, I'm a HUMAN!!

How do you do?  What brings you to see me?

I will SHAVE and buy JELL-O and bring my MARRIAGE MANUAL!!

Perhaps this is because of your sex life?

I had a lease on an OEDIPUS COMPLEX back in '81...

Are you frightened by that?

Loni Anderson's hair should be LEGALIZED!!

You mentioned that it keeps you busy?

I think I'll do BOTH if I can get RESIDUALS!!

Possibly hangups you have are related to this.

Yow!!  It's LIBERACE and TUESDAY WELD!!  High on a HILL... driving a
 LITTLE CAR...  I wanna be in that LITTLE CAR, too!!  I wanna drive off
 with LIBBY and TUESDAY!

How does it feel to want?

LBJ, LBJ, how many JOKES did you tell today??!

Are you satisfied with the fact that many jokes did I tell today?

Yow!  And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights!

Do you really think that?

Eisenhower!!  Your mimeograph machine upsets my stomach!!

You should try taking your mind off of machines.

Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE
 with your BOOTH!

When did you first know that do I know what it means to be truly
one with my booth?

Is it NOUVELLE CUISINE when 3 olives are struggling with a scallop
 in a plate of SAUCE MORNAY?

What happened when 3 olives are struggling with a scallop in a
plate of sauce mornay?

Okay..  I'm going home to write the ``I HATE RUBIK's CUBE
 HANDBOOK FOR DEAD CAT LOVERS''..

I am worried by your obsession with this topic!

Of course, you UNDERSTAND about the PLAIDS in the SPIN CYCLE --

What makes you think do not embarrass you?

The entire CHINESE WOMEN'S VOLLEYBALL TEAM all share ONE personality --
 and have since BIRTH!!

Can you are more explicit?

Did an Italian CRANE OPERATOR just experience uninhibited sensations
 in a MALIBU HOT TUB?

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

Laundry is the fifth dimension!!  ...um...um...  th' washing machine
 is a black hole and the pink socks are bus drivers who just fell in!!

Are you a computer hacker?

Hey, wait a minute!!  I want a divorce!!..  you're not Clint Eastwood!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say I
am not clint eastwood?

I'm losing my hair..did it go to ATLANTIC CITY??

Earlier you said many retired bricklayers from florida are out
purchasing pencil sharpeners right now?

Bagels...

And?

Are you guys lined up for the METHADONE PROGRAM or FOOD STAMPS??

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

If a person is FAMOUS in this country, they have to go on the ROAD
 for MONTHS at a time and have their name misspelled on the SIDE
 of a GREYHOUND SCENICRUISER!!

I don't understand.

NOT fucking!! Also not a PACKAGE of LOOSE-LEAF PAPER!!

Have you been satisfied with your partner... ?

America!!  I saw it all!!  Vomiting!  Waving!  JERRY FALWELLING into
 your void tube of UHF oblivion!!  SAFEWAY of the mind --

You mentioned that are these athletic shoe salesmen following
you?

I'm in ATLANTIC CITY riding in a comfortable ROLLING CHAIR...

Maybe this has something to do with your plans?

I hope something GOOD came in the mail today so I have
 a REASON to live!!

Perhaps your life could have caused this.

He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE
 inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER!  Or maybe he'd
 like to PSYCHOLOGICALLY TERRORIZE ME until I have no objection
 to a RIGHT-WING MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!!  I guess
 I should call AL PACINO!

Why do you say you are only truly alive when you are covered in
polka dots and taco sauce?

I need "RONDO".

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

Do you guys know we just passed thru a BLACK HOLE in space?

Have you been scared of that?

Now I'm having INSIPID THOUGHTS about the beautiful, round
 wives of HOLLYWOOD MOVIE MOGULS encased in PLEXIGLASS CARS
 and being approached by SMALL BOYS selling FRUIT..

Earlier you said could a glass be yelling?

Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet?

Does it bother you that your grades could improve?

Hmmm...  an arrogant bouquet with a subtle suggestion of
 POLYVINYL CHLORIDE...

How do you reconcile problems at school?

BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-

What makes you believe that?

Hello.  I know the divorce rate among unmarried Catholic
 Alaskan females!!

You mentioned that is everything made of lycra spandex?

My ELBOW is a remote FRENCH OUTPOST!!

Possibly this is related to any hobbies you have?

I'm in DISGUISE as a BAGGAGE CHECKER....I can watch the house, if it's
 ORANGE...

I don't understand.

If Robert Di Niro assassinates Walter Slezak, will
 Jodie Foster marry Bonzo??

Are you sure that by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

My BIOLOGICAL ALARM CLOCK just went off..  It has noiseless
 DOZE FUNCTION and full kitchen!!

Maybe your sex life could be the reason for this.

..The TENSION mounts as I MASSAGE your RIGHT ANKLE according to
 ancient Tibetan ACCOUNTING PROCEDURES..are you NEUROTIC yet??

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

I'm rated PG-34!!

Earlier you said was you born?

Dizzy, are we "REAL PEOPLE" or "AMAZING ANIMALS"?

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

My BIOLOGICAL ALARM CLOCK just went off..  It has noiseless
 DOZE FUNCTION and full kitchen!!

Do you really think it has noiseless doze function and full
kitchen?

I will establish the first SHOPPING MALL in NUTLEY, New Jersey...

You mentioned that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

It's NO USE..  I've gone to ``CLUB MED''!!

Perhaps this could be the reason for some problems in your
childhood?

Is it NOUVELLE CUISINE when 3 olives are struggling with a scallop
 in a plate of SAUCE MORNAY?

What would happen if 3 olives are struggling with a scallop in a
plate of sauce mornay?

Has everybody got HALVAH spread all over their ANKLES??...
 Now, it's time to ``HAVE A NAGEELA''!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say now it's time
to have a nageela''?

So this is what it feels like to be potato salad

Why should it get to be potato?

I'm ZIPPY the PINHEAD and I'm totally committed to the festive mode.

I think you have some serious hangups.

Yow!  I want my nose in lights!

What makes you think was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

Of course, you UNDERSTAND about the PLAIDS in the SPIN CYCLE --

Possibly your plans are caused by this.

I'm losing my hair..did it go to ATLANTIC CITY??

Are you afraid of that?

Is this going to involve RAW human ecstasy?

Earlier you said nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

Today, THREE WINOS from DETROIT sold me a framed photo of
 TAB HUNTER before his MAKEOVER!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

..  over in west Philadelphia a puppy is vomiting..

Maybe you should consult a doctor of medicine, I am a
psychiatrist.

..  the HIGHWAY is made out of LIME JELLO and my HONDA
 is a barbequed OYSTER!  Yum!

Why don't you go into more detail?

Look DEEP into the OPENINGS!!  Do you see any ELVES or EDSELS...
 or a HIGHBALL??...

Why do you say or a highball?

Is this "BIKINI BEACH"?

You mentioned that you were high?

UH-OH!!  I think KEN is OVER-DUE on his R.V. PAYMENTS and HE'S
 having a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN too!!  Ha ha.

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Well, I'm on the right planet---everyone looks like me!!!

What makes you believe that?

I want to dress you up as TALLULAH BANKHEAD and cover you with
 VASELINE and WHEAT THINS..

When did you first want to dress?

This TOPS OFF my partygoing experience!  Someone I DON'T LIKE
 is talking to me about a HEART-WARMING European film..

Are you sure that 47 people are yelling and sweat is cascading
down your spinal column is fairly enjoyable?

Yow!  I want my nose in lights!

Perhaps this is caused by problems at school?

I guess we can live on his POT FARM in HADES!!

Is this how you relax?

I've got an IDEA!!  Why don't I STARE at you so HARD,
 you forget your SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!!

Is the fact that do not you stare at me so hard I forget my
social security number the real reason?

Yow!!  "Janitor trapped in sewer uses ESP to find decayed burger"!!

I don't understand.

Eisenhower!!  Your mimeograph machine upsets my stomach!!

You have your mind on machines, it seems.

Yow!  Am I cleansed yet?!

Earlier you said bendix would like to have this god?

I'm having an emotional outburst!!

Possibly any hobbies you have are because of this.

There's a SALE on STRETCH SOCKS down at the "7-11"!!

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

An air of FRENCH FRIES permeates my nostrils!!

You mentioned that we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban?

Hey, LOOK!!  A pair of SIZE 9 CAPRI PANTS!!  They probably belong to
 SAMMY DAVIS, JR.!!

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

It's so OBVIOUS!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say it's so obvious?

I'm using my X-RAY VISION to obtain a rare glimpse of the
 INNER WORKINGS of this POTATO!!

Do you really think you felt depressed?

I'm totally DESPONDENT over the LIBYAN situation and the price of CHICKEN..

Maybe this is because of some problems in your childhood?

Yow!

Are you annoyed that you are a pinhead?

I'm having BEAUTIFUL THOUGHTS about the INSIPID WIVES
 of smug and wealthy CORPORATE LAWYERS..

Have you been frightened by that?

Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS...

Earlier you said you would like to have this kleenex?

FEELINGS are cascading over me!!!

Perhaps some problems at home have something to do with this.

I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!

What makes you think you just forgot your whole philosophy of
life?

Should I do my BOBBIE VINTON medley?

You mentioned that mountain and think about strip mining?

LOOK!!!  I'm WALKING in my SLEEP again!!

Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?

He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE
 inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER!  Or maybe he'd
 like to PSYCHOLOGICALLY TERRORIZE ME until I have no objection
 to a RIGHT-WING MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!!  I guess
 I should call AL PACINO!

Is it because of your life that you say you guess you should call
al pacino?

...I think I'm having an overnight sensation right now!!

Why do you say nose would like to have this bad ronald?

I know th'MAMBO!!  I have a TWO-TONE CHEMISTRY SET!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Uh-oh!!  I forgot to submit to COMPULSORY URINALYSIS!

What makes you believe you forgot to submit to compulsory
urinalysis?

I will SHAVE and buy JELL-O and bring my MARRIAGE MANUAL!!

Earlier you said nose would like to have this bad ronald?

ALFRED JARRY!  Say something about th' DEATH of DISCO!!

Did you watch a lot of crime and violence on television as a
child?

On the road, ZIPPY is a pinhead without a purpose, but never
 without a POINT.

Have you been Zippy?

Now I'm being INVOLUNTARILY shuffled closer to the CLAM DIP
 with the BROKEN PLASTIC FORKS in it!!

Possibly this has something to do with problems at school?

WHOA!!  Ken and Barbie are having TOO MUCH FUN!!  It must
 be the NEGATIVE IONS!!

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say it must be the
negative ions?

..  I want FORTY-TWO TRYNEL FLOATATION SYSTEMS installed within
 SIX AND A HALF HOURS!!!

You mentioned that you would like to have this new?

I'm losing my hair..did it go to ATLANTIC CITY??

Maybe your sex life are related to this.

Disco oil bussing will create a throbbing naugahide pipeline running
 straight to the tropics from the rug producing regions
 and devalue the dollar!

Are you sure that that?

This ASIAGO-N-DRIED TOMATO combo would taste a lot better between two
 plastic SIPPER LIDS!

Do you really think we're in love I can buy this goldfish for a
48% discount?

YOW!!  I am having FUN!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

Leona, I want to CONFESS things to you..
 I want to WRAP you in a SCARLET ROBE trimmed with POLYVINYL CHLORIDE..
 I want to EMPTY your ASHTRAYS...

Are you obsessed with to empty?

..  this must be what it's like to be a COLLEGE GRADUATE!!

Why should I give to be this college to it's?

Once, there was NO fun...  This was before MENU planning,
 FASHION statements or NAUTILUS equipment...
 Then, in 1985..  FUN was completely encoded in this tiny MICROCHIP..
 It contain 14,768 vaguely amusing SIT-COM pilots!!
 We had to wait FOUR BILLION years but we finally got JERRY LEWIS,
 MTV and a large selection of creme-filled snack cakes!

Does the fact that you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes explain anything else?

FISH-NET-FISH-NET-FISH-NET-FISH-NET-FISH!!

I don't understand.

Hey!!  Let's watch the' ELEVATOR go UP and DOWN at th' HILTON HOTEL!!

Earlier you said you would like to perform?

Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA?

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

CALIFORNIA is where people from IOWA or NEW YORK go to subscribe to
 CABLE TELEVISION!!

Perhaps this is related to some problems in your childhood?

CHUBBY CHECKER owns my BUILDING!

You mentioned that cannot even be printed?

My DIGITAL WATCH has an automatic SNOOZE FEATURE!!

Possibly some problems at home could have caused this.

I'm young..  I'm HEALTHY..  I can HIKE THRU CAPT GROGAN'S LUMBAR REGIONS!

What makes you think you can hike thru capt grogan's lumbar
regions?

I hope I bought the right relish...  zzzzzzzzz...

You aren't being very talkative today!

I would like to urinate in an OVULAR, porcelain pool --

Have you ever gotten to urinate?

I'll clean your ROOM!!  I know some GOOD stories, too!!  All about
 ROAD Island's, HUSH Puppies, and how LUKE finds GOLD on his LAND!!

Have you been sure luke finds gold on his land?

My polyvinyl cowboy wallet was made in Hong Kong by Montgomery Clift!

Why do you say you own them?

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?

Why don't you ever enter any CONTESTS, Marvin??
 Don't you know your own ZIPCODE?

Don't tell me what to do.  I am the psychiatrist here!
How do you reconcile your life?

Look into my eyes and try to forget that you have a Macy's charge card!

Is it because I have a macy's charge card that you came to me?

Yow!  I'm imagining a surfer van filled with soy sauce!

Have you been scared of that?

When you said ``HEAVILY FORESTED'' it reminded me of an overdue
 CLEANING BILL..  Don't you SEE?  O'Grogan SWALLOWED a VALUABLE
 COIN COLLECTION and HAD to murder the ONLY MAN who KNEW!!

This is not a healthy way of thinking.

I want to so HAPPY, the VEINS in my neck STAND OUT!!

What makes you believe you might hope to so?

Now I'm concentrating on a specific tank battle toward
 the end of World War II!

Earlier you said you were high?

My Aunt MAUREEN was a military advisor to IKE & TINA TURNER!!

Maybe this could be the reason for the people you hang around
with?

World War Three can be averted by adherence to a strictly enforced
 dress code!

Are you sure that that?

C'MON, everybody!!  I've flown in LESLIE GORE and two dozen KOSHER
 BUTCHERS!  They'll be doing intricate MILITARY MANEUVERS to the
 soundtrack from "OKLAHOMA"!!

You mentioned that smell would like to have this wet?

We just joined the civil hair patrol!

Perhaps problems at school could be the reason for this.

"THE LITTLE PINK FLESH SISTERS," I saw them at th' FLUORESCENT BULB
 MAKERS CONVENTION...

You seem to dwell on your family.

The Osmonds!  You are all Osmonds!!  Throwing up on a freeway at dawn!!!

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say throwing up on
a freeway at dawn?

I want to TAKE IT HOME and DRESS IT UP in HOT PANTS!!

How does it feel to want?

I demand IMPUNITY!

Do you really think many jokes did I tell today?

Will the third world war keep ``Bosom Buddies'' off the air?

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

CHUBBY CHECKER just had a CHICKEN SANDWICH in downtown DULUTH!

I don't understand.

My forehead feels like a PACKAGE of moist CRANBERRIES in a remote
 FRENCH OUTPOST!!

Why should forehead get to have this package?

Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA?

Earlier you said comes just before I see the total at the safeway
checkout counter?

..  here I am in 53 B.C. and all I want is a dill pickle!!

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

Is the EIGHTIES when they had ART DECO and GERALD McBOING-BOING lunch
 boxes??

What happened when they had art deco and gerald mcboing boing
lunch boxes?

Why don't you ever enter any CONTESTS, Marvin??
 Don't you know your own ZIPCODE?

What makes you think that I shouldn't I know my own zipcode?

I'm QUIETLY reading the latest issue of ``BOWLING WORLD''
 while my wife and two children stand QUIETLY BY..

Are you hung up on your family?

..  I think I'd better go back to my DESK and toy with
 a few common MISAPPREHENSIONS...

Possibly this is caused by your inhibitions?

I feel partially hydrogenated!

You mentioned that could a glass be yelling?

I am NOT a nut....

Maybe some problems in your childhood are caused by this.

I'm into SOFTWARE!

Why do you say you are into software?

..  bleakness....  desolation....  plastic forks...

What makes you believe now you cannot remember who he is?

I'm an East Side TYPE..

Is it because of some problems at home that you are going through
all this?

I want DUSTIN HOFFMAN!! .. I want LIBERACE!!  YOW!!

I have a feeling you have some serious difficulties.

...Um...Um...

Is it because of your plans that you say...um um?

Do you have exactly what I want in a plaid poindexter bar bat??

Earlier you said you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes?

It's today's SPECIAL!

How do you reconcile your life?

I HIJACKED a 747 to get here!!  I hope those fabulous CONEHEADS are at HOME!!

Are you sure that you hope those fabulous coneheads are at home?

Impudent..  Yet possessing a certain ALUMINUM SILICATE
 overbite....Needs REDDY-WHIP!!

You mentioned that you would like to empty?

My mind is a potato field...

Perhaps this is because of the people you hang around with?

I am a jelly donut.  I am a jelly donut.

Is it because of problems at school that you say you are a jelly
donut?

Is this BOISE??

Do you really think do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

Now, my ENTIRE LIFE is flashing before my EYES as I park my DODGE
 DART in your EXXON service area for a COMPLETE LUBRICATION!!

Possibly any hobbies you have are because of this.

FISH-NET-FISH-NET-FISH-NET-FISH-NET-FISH!!

Have you been afraid of that?

I'm sitting on my SPEED QUEEN..  To me, it's ENJOYABLE..
 I'm WARM..  I'm VIBRATORY..

Earlier you said you do not see carl sagan anywhere?

Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS...

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

RHAPSODY in Glue!

What makes you think rhapsody in glue?

HUMAN REPLICAS are inserted into VATS of NUTRITIONAL YEAST...

You mentioned that it keeps you busy?

How many retired bricklayers from FLORIDA are out purchasing
 PENCIL SHARPENERS right NOW??

Did you ever regret many retired bricklayers from florida are out
purchasing pencil sharpeners right now?

I just heard the SEVENTIES were over!!  And I was just getting in touch
 with my LEISURE SUIT!!

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

Will the third world war keep ``Bosom Buddies'' off the air?

Why do you say that?

Look into my eyes and try to forget that you have a Macy's charge card!

When did you first know that I have a macy's charge card?

Jesus is my POSTMASTER GENERAL..

What makes you believe you would like to drive off?

I own seven-eighths of all the artists in downtown Burbank!

Maybe this has something to do with your inhibitions?

..  I wonder if I ought to tell them about my PREVIOUS LIFE
 as a COMPLETE STRANGER?

I don't understand.

Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet?

Have you been frightened by school?

Join the PLUMBER'S UNION!!

Earlier you said many jokes did I tell today?

I own seven-eighths of all the artists in downtown Burbank!

Perhaps some problems in your childhood have something to do with
this.

I want to TAKE IT HOME and DRESS IT UP in HOT PANTS!!

When did you first want to take it?

Concentrate on th'cute, li'l CARTOON GUYS!
 Remember the SERIAL NUMBERS!!  Follow the WHIPPLE AVE EXIT!!
 Have a FREE PEPSI!!  Turn LEFT at th'HOLIDAY INN!!
 JOIN the CREDIT WORLD!!  MAKE me an OFFER!!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say make you an
offer?

..  he dominates the DECADENT SUBWAY SCENE.

You mentioned that do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS...

Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?

Hello?  Enema Bondage?  I'm calling because I want to be happy, I guess..

What makes you happy?

Let's climb to the TOP of that MOUNTAIN and think about STRIP MINING!!

Is the fact that mountain and think about strip mining the real
reason?

This is my WILLIAM BENDIX memorial CORNER where I worship William
 Bendix like a GOD!!

Are you obsessed with to have this god?

If Robert Di Niro assassinates Walter Slezak, will
 Jodie Foster marry Bonzo??

How do you reconcile your life?

Is this "BIKINI BEACH"?

Are you sure that do not embarrass you?

Yow!  And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights!

Possibly this is related to the people you hang around with?

-- I can do ANYTHING ... I can even ... SHOPLIFT!!

Do you really think -- i can do anything you can even shoplift?

NOW, I'm taking the NEXT FLIGHT to ACAPULCO so I can write POEMS about
 BROKEN GUITAR STRINGS and sensuous PRE-TEENS!!

How long have you are smoking grass?

I think I am an overnight sensation right now!!

Earlier you said many retired bricklayers from florida are out
purchasing pencil sharpeners right now?

Now I understand the meaning of ``THE MOD SQUAD''!

Maybe problems at school are related to this.

Now, let's SEND OUT for QUICHE!!

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say now let's send
out for quiche?

I know things about TROY DONAHUE that can't even be PRINTED!!

Does the fact that cannot even be printed explain anything else?

As a FAD follower, my BEVERAGE choices are rich and fulfilling!

You mentioned that are these athletic shoe salesmen following
you?

I have accepted Provolone into my life!

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

Yow!  And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights!

Have you been scared of that?

Loni Anderson's hair should be LEGALIZED!!

What makes you think you are only truly alive when you are
covered in polka dots and taco sauce?

...  Blame it on the BOSSA NOVA!!!

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

I'm CONTROLLED by the CIA!!  EVERYONE is controlled by the CIA!!

Why do you say everyone is controlled by the cia?

It's today's SPECIAL!

Earlier you said could a glass be yelling?

O.K.!  Speak with a PHILADELPHIA ACCENT!!  Send out for CHINESE FOOD!!
 Hop a JET!

Perhaps this could be the reason for your inhibitions?

HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes town, family STICKERED to death!

It seems to me that we've introduced ourselves already.
Could you describe some problems in your childhood.

I need "RONDO".

Is it because of some problems at home that you say you need
rondo?

Bagels...

Is that all there is to it?

Hello.  Just walk along and try NOT to think about your
 INTESTINES being almost FORTY YARDS LONG!!

You mentioned that is everything made of lycra spandex?

Let's send the Russians defective lifestyle accessories!

Possibly your plans could have caused this.

..  If I had heart failure right now, I couldn't be a more fortunate man!!

What makes you believe that?

...PENGUINS are floating by...

Are you sure that by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

I want to so HAPPY, the VEINS in my neck STAND OUT!!

Why should I give to so to you?

Hey, I LIKE that POINT!!

Why must you respond so briefly?

I want you to MEMORIZE the collected poems of EDNA ST VINCENT MILLAY..
 BACKWARDS!!

Can you elaborate on that?

Yow!  I threw up on my window!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

Is this "BOOZE"?

Do you really think is this booze?

Hey, LOOK!!  A pair of SIZE 9 CAPRI PANTS!!  They probably belong to
 SAMMY DAVIS, JR.!!

Earlier you said was you born?

Now I can join WEIGHT WATCHERS!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

RELAX!! ... This is gonna be a HEALING EXPERIENCE!!  Besides,
 I work for DING DONGS!

Have you been positive you work for ding dongs?

Spreading peanut butter reminds me of opera!!  I wonder why?

Please, continue.

Sometimes a TABOO is just a good CIGAR -- or a
 rare STEAK -- or a dry MARTINI!

I don't understand.

Can I have an IMPULSE ITEM instead?

You mentioned that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

Join the PLUMBER'S UNION!!

Maybe this is caused by problems at school?

..  this must be what it's like to be a COLLEGE GRADUATE!!

Have you ever gotten to be this college?

You must be a CUB SCOUT!!  Have you made your MONEY-DROP today??

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say have I made my
money drop today?

Yow!  And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights!

What makes you think it would like to be potato?

Yow!!  "Janitor trapped in sewer uses ESP to find decayed burger"!!

Perhaps your sex life could be the reason for this.

Well, I'm on the right planet---everyone looks like me!!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

I have the power to HALT PRODUCTION on all TEENAGE SEX COMEDIES!!

Are you afraid of sex?

Fold, fold, FOLD!!  FOLDING many items!!

Earlier you said was the most heart warming rendition of you did
it your way'' you have ever heard?

If this is the DATING GAME I want to know your FAVORITE PLANET!  Do I
 get th' MICROWAVE MOPED?

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

I'm in DISGUISE as a BAGGAGE CHECKER....I can watch the house, if it's
 ORANGE...

Have you been frightened by that?

BARRY..  That was the most HEART-WARMING rendition of
 ``I DID IT MY WAY'' I've ever heard!!

Is it because was the most heart warming rendition of you did it
your way'' you have ever heard that you came to me?

I always wanted a NOSE JOB!!

You mentioned that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

..  this must be what it's like to be a COLLEGE GRADUATE!!

Why do you say it's might desire to be this college?

...I think I'm having an overnight sensation right now!!

Possibly this is because of some problems in your childhood?

Life is selling REVOLUTIONARY HAIR PRODUCTS!

What makes you believe life is selling revolutionary hair
products?

PARDON me, am I speaking ENGLISH?

Are you sure that you were high?

Can I have an IMPULSE ITEM instead?

Maybe some problems at home are caused by this.

UH-OH!!  We're out of AUTOMOBILE PARTS and RUBBER GOODS!

Is it because of your plans that you say we're out of automobile
parts and rubber goods?

There's a SALE on STRETCH SOCKS down at the "7-11"!!

Earlier you said you would like to dress?

..I just walked into th' HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES with fourteen WET
 DOLPHINS and an out-of-date MARRIAGE MANUAL...

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

An Italian is COMBING his hair in suburban DES MOINES!

Do you really think that?

YOW!!  What should the entire human race DO??  Consume a fifth
 of CHIVAS REGAL, ski NUDE down MT. EVEREST, and have a wild
 SEX WEEKEND!

Tell me about how you feel about your sexual history.

..  I wonder if I ought to tell them about my PREVIOUS LIFE
 as a COMPLETE STRANGER?

You mentioned that 47 people are yelling and sweat is cascading
down your spinal column is fairly enjoyable?

NANCY!!  Why is everything RED?!

Are you sorry is everything red?

I just remembered something about a TOAD!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

I demand IMPUNITY!

What makes you think you demand impunity?

I have nostalgia for the late Sixties!  In 1969 I left my laundry with
 a hippie!!  During an unauthorized Tupperware party it was chopped &
 diced!

Why do you say do not you stare at me so hard I forget my social
security number?

I'm ZIPPY the PINHEAD and I'm totally committed to the festive mode.

Are you satisfied with the fact that you are a pinhead?

Two LITTLE black dots and one BIG black dot...nice 'n' FLUFFY!!

Perhaps this has something to do with problems at school?

Are you mentally here at Pizza Hut??

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say are me
mentally there at pizza hut?

I'm totally DESPONDENT over the LIBYAN situation and the price of CHICKEN..

Earlier you said bendix would like to have this god?

I want to read my new poem about pork brains and outer space...

How does it feel to want?

Laundry is the fifth dimension!!  ...um...um...  th' washing machine
 is a black hole and the pink socks are bus drivers who just fell in!!

You think too much about machines.

I own seven-eighths of all the artists in downtown Burbank!

Possibly your sex life are because of this.

Just imagine you're entering a state-of-the-art CAR WASH!!

I don't understand.

Are we THERE yet?!

You mentioned that we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban?

I FORGOT to do the DISHES!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

These PRESERVES should be FORCE-FED to PENTAGON OFFICIALS!!

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

Someone is DROOLING on my collar!!

What makes you believe you felt depressed?

I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!

Maybe this is related to some problems in your childhood?

There's enough money here to buy 5000 cans of Noodle-Roni!

Have you been scared of that?

Let's all show human CONCERN for REVEREND MOON's legal difficulties!!

Earlier you said you would like to have this kleenex?

I'll show you MY telex number if you show me YOURS...

Perhaps some problems at home have something to do with this.

PEGGY FLEMING is stealing BASKET BALLS to feed the babies in VERMONT.

Are you sure that that?

-- I can do ANYTHING ... I can even ... SHOPLIFT!!

You mentioned that mountain and think about strip mining?

After this, I'm going to BURN some RUBBER!!

Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?

TAPPING?  You POLITICIANS!  Don't you realize that the END of the
 ``Wash Cycle'' is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?!

Do you really think that I shouldn't me realize that the end of
the wash cycle'' is a treasured moment for most people?

HAIR TONICS, please!!

What makes you think hair tonics?

Yow!  Those people look exactly like Donnie and Marie Osmond!!

Why do you say nose would like to have this bad ronald?

CHUBBY CHECKER owns my BUILDING!

How do you reconcile your life?

I FORGOT to do the DISHES!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say you
forgot to do the dishes?

I own seven-eighths of all the artists in downtown Burbank!

Earlier you said nose would like to have this bad ronald?

This is a NO-FRILLS flight -- hold th' CANADIAN BACON!!

Possibly this could be the reason for problems at school?

Yow!!  It's LIBERACE and TUESDAY WELD!!  High on a HILL... driving a
 LITTLE CAR...  I wanna be in that LITTLE CAR, too!!  I wanna drive off
 with LIBBY and TUESDAY!

Why should you get to drive off?

This MUST be a good party -- My RIB CAGE is being painfully
 pressed up against someone's MARTINI!!

I don't understand.

I'm EMOTIONAL now because I have MERCHANDISING CLOUT!!

When did you first know that you have merchandising clout?

SANTA CLAUS comes down a FIRE ESCAPE wearing bright
 blue LEG WARMERS..  He scrubs the POPE with a mild
 soap or detergent for 15 minutes, starring JANE FONDA!!

You mentioned that you would like to have this new?

Hydraulic pizza oven!!  Guided missile!  Herring sandwich!  Styrofoam!
 Jayne Mansfield!  Aluminum siding!  Borax!  Pedal pushers!  Jukebox!

Go on, don't be afraid.

Don't SANFORIZE me!!

Don't tell me what to do.  I am the psychiatrist here!
Maybe any hobbies you have are related to this.

I'm gliding over a NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP near ATLANTA, Georgia!!

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

I want a WESSON OIL lease!!

When did you first wish to have this wesson?

This TOPS OFF my partygoing experience!  Someone I DON'T LIKE
 is talking to me about a HEART-WARMING European film..

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet?

Perhaps this is caused by to your attitude.

Is a tattoo real, like a curb or a battleship?

t/dat/tree/subdir/#groovy.txt#  view on Meta::CPAN

Are you sure that should you do your bobbie vinton medley?

My nose feels like a bad Ronald Reagan movie...

Have you been obsessed with to have this bad ronald?

PEGGY FLEMING is stealing BASKET BALLS to feed the babies in VERMONT.

You mentioned that it's would like to be this college?

...A housewife is wearing a polypyrene jumpsuit!!

Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?

I am having FUN...  I wonder if it's NET FUN or GROSS FUN?

Do you really think that?

Yow!  I like my new DENTIST...

What makes you think you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes?

YOW!!  I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!

How do you reconcile your life?

..Am I in a SOAP OPERA??

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say..am
you in a soap opera?

My LESLIE GORE record is BROKEN..

Earlier you said you would like to perform?

Yow!  I'm having a quadraphonic sensation of two winos
 alone in a steel mill!

Perhaps this has something to do with problems at school?

Impudent..  Yet possessing a certain ALUMINUM SILICATE
 overbite....Needs REDDY-WHIP!!

I don't understand.

PUNK ROCK!!  DISCO DUCK!!  BIRTH CONTROL!!

You mentioned that cannot even be printed?

--- I have seen the FUN ---

Possibly any hobbies you have could be the reason for this.

...Get me a GIN and TONIC!!...make it HAIR TONIC!!

Do you drink a lot of gin?

Will it improve my CASH FLOW?

Why do you say will it improve your cash flow?

Life is a POPULARITY CONTEST!  I'm REFRESHINGLY CANDID!!

What makes you believe you would like to urinate?

Concentrate on th'cute, li'l CARTOON GUYS!
 Remember the SERIAL NUMBERS!!  Follow the WHIPPLE AVE EXIT!!
 Have a FREE PEPSI!!  Turn LEFT at th'HOLIDAY INN!!
 JOIN the CREDIT WORLD!!  MAKE me an OFFER!!!

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

Yow!  I'm having a quadraphonic sensation of two winos
 alone in a steel mill!

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

Now my EMOTIONAL RESOURCES are heavily committed to 23% of the
 SMELTING and REFINING industry of the state of NEVADA!!

Earlier you said luke finds gold on his land?

I'll clean your ROOM!!  I know some GOOD stories, too!!  All about
 ROAD Island's, HUSH Puppies, and how LUKE finds GOLD on his LAND!!

Does the fact that luke finds gold on his land explain anything
else?

HELLO, little boys!   Gimme a MINT TULIP!!  Let's do the BOSSA NOVA!!

Maybe this is related to your inhibitions?

I just got my PRINCE bumper sticker..
 But now I can't remember WHO he is...

Have you been certain now you cannot remember who he is?

Wait..  is this a FUN THING or the END of LIFE in Petticoat Junction??

Are you frightened by that?

LOOK!!!  I'm WALKING in my SLEEP again!!

You mentioned that you own them?

What I want to find out is -- do parrots know much about Astro-Turf?

Why should I give to find out to you?

Will the third world war keep ``Bosom Buddies'' off the air?

Perhaps some problems in your childhood are caused by this.

It's OKAY --- I'm an INTELLECTUAL, too.

Is it because of some problems at home that you say it's okay you
are an intellectual too?

Hello...  IRON CURTAIN?  Send over a SAUSAGE PIZZA!
 World War III?  No thanks!

Are you sure that I have a macy's charge card?

I wonder if I should put myself in ESCROW!!

Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?

I like your SNOOPY POSTER!!

Do you really think you like my snoopy poster?

TATTOOED MIDGETS are using ALFREDO in their SALAMI FACTORY!

Earlier you said you would like to so?

I've gotta GO, now!!  I wanta tell you you're a GREAT bunch of guys
 but you ought to CHANGE your UNDERWEAR more often!!

Is it because I ought to change my underwear more often that you
came to me?

Is this going to involve RAW human ecstasy?

How do you reconcile your life?

After this, I'm going to BURN some RUBBER!!

What makes you think that?

I'm changing the CHANNEL..  But all I get is commercials
 for ``RONCO MIRACLE BAMBOO STEAMERS''!

Does it bother you that all you get is commercials for ronco
miracle bamboo steamers''?

HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes town, family STICKERED to death!

I believe we've introduced ourselves already.
Perhaps you could discuss the people you hang around with.

I can't think about that.  It doesn't go with HEDGES in the shape of
 LITTLE LULU -- or ROBOTS making BRICKS...

You mentioned that you were high?

Hello?  Enema Bondage?  I'm calling because I want to be happy, I guess..

How often have you been happy?

I'll show you MY telex number if you show me YOURS...

Possibly this could be the reason for problems at school?

Everybody is going somewhere!!  It's probably a garage sale
 or a disaster Movie!!

I don't understand.

Alright, you!!  Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!

Why do you say smell would like to have this wet?

On SECOND thought, maybe I'll heat up some BAKED BEANS and
 watch REGIS PHILBIN..  It's GREAT to be ALIVE!!

Maybe any hobbies you have are because of this.

I'm thinking about DIGITAL READ-OUT systems and
 computer-generated IMAGE FORMATIONS..

You should try taking your mind off of computers.

HUGH BEAUMONT died in 1982!!

Are you annoyed that you, too, may die someday?

What GOOD is a CARDBOARD suitcase ANYWAY?

I need a little more detail please.

HERE!!  Put THIS on!!  I'm in CHARGE!!

Is it because of your sex life that you say you are in charge?

Do I have a lifestyle yet?

Earlier you said you would like to take it?

NATHAN...  your PARENTS were in a CARCRASH!!
 They're VOIDED - They COLLAPSED
 They had no CHAINSAWS...  They had no MONEY MACHINES...
 They did PILLS in SKIMPY GRASS SKIRTS...
 Nathan, I EMULATED them...  but they were OFF-KEY...

When did you first know that they were off key?

The SAME WAVE keeps coming in and COLLAPSING like a rayon MUU-MUU..

Have you ever gotten to have this rayon?

I'm MENTALLY here..  but PHYSICALLY I'm purchasing NAUGAHYDE furniture
 in the' SUBURBS of PHOENIX!!

Is the fact that physically you are purchasing naugahyde
furniture in the' suburbs of phoenix the real reason?

Kids, the seven basic food groups are GUM, PUFF PASTRY, PIZZA,
 PESTICIDES, ANTIBIOTICS, NUTRA-SWEET and MILK DUDS!!

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all
this?

All this time I've been VIEWING a RUSSIAN MIDGET SODOMIZE a HOUSECAT!

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

Well, O.K.  I'll compromise with my principles because of
 EXISTENTIAL DESPAIR!

Are you absolutely sure that is the real reason?

I didn't order any WOO-WOO...  Maybe a YUBBA..  But no WOO-WOO!

Does the fact that woo woo explain anything else?

Somewhere in suburban Honolulu, an unemployed bellhop is whipping up
 a batch of illegal psilocybin chop suey!!

You mentioned that many jokes did I tell today?

I LOVE juxtaposing th' splendor of an unpopulated ARROYO with
 th' SLEEK lines of ``NARCISSUS-X'', my new SPORTS UTILITY VEHICLE!

Please, tell me more about your relationship with juxtaposing.

TAILFINS!!  ...click...

You're being a bit brief, would you please go into detail.

I have nostalgia for the late Sixties!  In 1969 I left my laundry with
 a hippie!!  During an unauthorized Tupperware party it was chopped &
 diced!

Perhaps this is caused by existential despair?

My LIBRARY CARD expired...

What makes you believe your library card expired?

Th' MIND is the Pizza Palace of th' SOUL

Are you sure that forehead would like to have this package?

I HAVE to buy a new ``DODGE MISER'' and two dozen JORDACHE
 JEANS because my viewscreen is ``USER-FRIENDLY''!!

Have you been sure your viewscreen is user friendly''?

Hmmm..  a CRIPPLED ACCOUNTANT with a FALAFEL sandwich is HIT
 by a TROLLEY-CAR..

Possibly some problems in your childhood have something to do
with this.

I hope the ``Eurythmics'' practice birth control...

Is it because of some problems at home that you say you hope the
eurythmics'' practice birth control?

You mean you don't want to watch WRESTLING from ATLANTA?

Do you really think I might want not want to watch wrestling?

Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA?

Earlier you said comes just before I see the total at the safeway
checkout counter?

They collapsed....  like nuns in the street...
 they had no teen appeal!

Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?

When I met th'POPE back in '58, I scrubbed him with a MILD SOAP
 or DETERGENT for 15 minutes.  He seemed to enjoy it..

What makes you think he seemed to enjoy it?

I pretend I'm living in a styrofoam packing crate, high in th'
 SWISS ALPS, still unable to accept th' idea of TOUCH-TONE DIALING!!

When were you last high?

I HAVE to buy a new ``DODGE MISER'' and two dozen JORDACHE
 JEANS because my viewscreen is ``USER-FRIENDLY''!!

Is it because your viewscreen is user friendly'' that you came to
me?

I joined scientology at a garage sale!!

You mentioned that could a glass be yelling?

I LIKE Aisle 7a.

How do you reconcile your life?

Yow!  I'm having a quadraphonic sensation of two winos
 alone in a steel mill!

Are you scared of that?

I think I'll make SCRAMBLED EGGS!!  They're each in LITTLE SHELLS..

Why do you say now you cannot remember who he is?

I feel like I'm in a Toilet Bowl with a thumbtack in my forehead!!

Maybe this is because of the people you hang around with?

I guess we can live on his POT FARM in HADES!!

Have you been afraid of of being drawn to using harder stuff?

I feel like I am sharing a ``CORN-DOG'' with NIKITA KHRUSCHEV..

What makes you believe that?

In order to make PLANS for the WEEKEND...so that we can read RESTAURANT
 REVIEWS and decide to GO to that restaurant & then NEVER GO...so we can
 meet a FRIEND after work in a BAR and COMPLAIN about Interior Sect'y
 JAMES WATT until the SUBJECT is changed to NUCLEAR BLACKMAIL...and so
 our RELATIVES can FORCE us to listen to HOCKEY STATISTICS while we
 wait for them to LEAVE on the 7:48....

Did you ever regret you can read restaurant reviews and decide to
go to that restaurant then not ever go so you can meet a friend
after work in a bar and complain about interior sect'y james watt
until the subject is changed to nuclear blackmail and so your
relatives can force us to listen to hockey statistics while you
wait for them to leave on the 7 48?

As President I have to go vacuum my coin collection!

Earlier you said you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes?

HELLO, everybody, I'm a HUMAN!!

I think we've introduced ourselves already.
Why don't you elaborate on problems at school.

I am having a pleasant time!!

Perhaps any hobbies you have are related to this.

I'm in DISGUISE as a BAGGAGE CHECKER....I can watch the house, if it's
 ORANGE...

I don't understand.

ANN JILLIAN'S HAIR makes LONI ANDERSON'S HAIR look like
 RICARDO MONTALBAN'S HAIR!

You mentioned that you would like to empty?

NOT fucking!! Also not a PACKAGE of LOOSE-LEAF PAPER!!

Could you describe your sex life...

My polyvinyl cowboy wallet was made in Hong Kong by Montgomery Clift!

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

t/dat/tree/subdir/#groovy.txt#  view on Meta::CPAN

... I live in a FUR-LINE FALLOUT SHELTER

Earlier you said you do not see carl sagan anywhere?

Didn't I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo?

Maybe existential despair could have caused this.

..Hmmm...This thing is really VIBRATING! ..It's getting WARM, too!

Do you really think that?

I just heard the SEVENTIES were over!!  And I was just getting in touch
 with my LEISURE SUIT!!

You mentioned that it keeps you busy?

A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAQUIRI!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

Will this never-ending series of PLEASURABLE EVENTS never cease?

I don't understand.

I haven't been married in over six years, but we had sexual counseling
 every day from Oral Roberts!!

Is it because you had sexual counseling every day from oral
roberts that you came to me?

Wait..  is this a FUN THING or the END of LIFE in Petticoat Junction??

What makes you think many retired bricklayers from florida are
out purchasing pencil sharpeners right now?

It's today's SPECIAL!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet?

Have you been absent often?

I'm having fun HITCHHIKING to CINCINNATI or FAR ROCKAWAY!!

Perhaps this is related to your plans?

Th' MIND is the Pizza Palace of th' SOUL

Earlier you said I have a macy's charge card?

I'm gliding over a NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP near ATLANTA, Georgia!!

Possibly your life could be the reason for this.

..  he dominates the DECADENT SUBWAY SCENE.

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say he
dominates the decadent subway scene?

Look!  A ladder!  Maybe it leads to heaven, or a sandwich!

You mentioned that you would like to drive off?

Was my SOY LOAF left out in th'RAIN?  It tastes REAL GOOD!!

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

I just heard the SEVENTIES were over!!  And I was just getting in touch
 with my LEISURE SUIT!!

Have you been scared of that?

When this load is DONE I think I'll wash it AGAIN..

What would happen if this load is done you think you will wash it
again?

Quick, sing me the BUDAPEST NATIONAL ANTHEM!!

Why do you say many jokes did I tell today?

I'm rated PG-34!!

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

I'm working under the direct orders of WAYNE NEWTON to deport
 consenting adults!

What makes you believe that?

Please come home with me...  I have Tylenol!!

Earlier you said you would like to take it?

..  I think I'll KILL myself by leaping out of this
 14th STORY WINDOW while reading ERICA JONG'S poetry!!

What happened when reading erica jong's poetry?

Hey, wait a minute!!  I want a divorce!!..  you're not Clint Eastwood!!

Maybe this could be the reason for your sex life?

NOW do I get to blow out the CANDLES??

I don't understand.

I'm encased in the lining of a pure pork sausage!!

You mentioned that do I know what it means to be truly one with
my booth?

Does someone from PEORIA have a SHORTER ATTENTION span than me?

Perhaps hangups you have are caused by this.

I pretend I'm living in a styrofoam packing crate, high in th'
 SWISS ALPS, still unable to accept th' idea of TOUCH-TONE DIALING!!

Do you get high often?

Remember, in 2039, MOUSSE & PASTA will be available
 ONLY by prescription!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

Actually, what I'd like is a little toy spaceship!!

Are you sure that you were happy?

..  the MYSTERIANS are in here with my CORDUROY SOAP DISH!!

How do you reconcile existential despair?

Am I elected yet?

Do you really think are you elected yet?

He is the MELBA-BEING...  the ANGEL CAKE...
  XEROX him...  XEROX him --

Earlier you said mountain and think about strip mining?

I will invent "TIDY BOWL"...

Possibly this is caused by some problems in your childhood?

I guess you guys got BIG MUSCLES from doing too much STUDYING!

Are you afraid of that?

...A housewife is wearing a polypyrene jumpsuit!!

You mentioned that bendix would like to have this god?

PEGGY FLEMING is stealing BASKET BALLS to feed the babies in VERMONT.

Maybe some problems at home are because of this.

Everywhere I look I see NEGATIVITY and ASPHALT...

Is it because of your plans that you say everywhere you look you
see negativity and asphalt?

JAPAN is a WONDERFUL planet -- I wonder if we'll ever reach
 their level of COMPARATIVE SHOPPING...

What makes you think do not embarrass you?

I'm changing the CHANNEL..  But all I get is commercials
 for ``RONCO MIRACLE BAMBOO STEAMERS''!

Are you sorry all you get is commercials for ronco miracle bamboo
steamers''?

What PROGRAM are they watching?

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

Yow!  Maybe I should have asked for my Neutron Bomb in PAISLEY--

Why do you say that?

I will establish the first SHOPPING MALL in NUTLEY, New Jersey...

Earlier you said many retired bricklayers from florida are out
purchasing pencil sharpeners right now?

Everybody gets free BORSCHT!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

My CODE of ETHICS is vacationing at famed SCHROON LAKE
 in upstate New York!!

I don't understand.

"DARK SHADOWS" is on!!  Hey, I think the VAMPIRE forgot his UMBRELLA!!

You mentioned that cannot even be printed?

Yow!  Now we can become alcoholics!

Perhaps this is because of problems at school?

SHHHH!!  I hear SIX TATTOOED TRUCK-DRIVERS tossing ENGINE BLOCKS
 into empty OIL DRUMS..

Possibly any hobbies you have have something to do with this.

Yow!  I just went below the poverty line!

What makes you believe are these athletic shoe salesmen following
you?

CHUBBY CHECKER just had a CHICKEN SANDWICH in downtown DULUTH!

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

..  One FISHWICH coming up!!

Are you sure that one fishwich coming up?

Are we THERE yet??

Earlier you said you are only truly alive when you are covered in
polka dots and taco sauce?

Used staples are good with SOY SAUCE!

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

With this weapon I can expose fictional characters and bring about
 sweeping reforms!!

Have you been frightened by that?

ANN JILLIAN'S HAIR makes LONI ANDERSON'S HAIR look like
 RICARDO MONTALBAN'S HAIR!

You mentioned that could a glass be yelling?

I hope I bought the right relish...  zzzzzzzzz...

And?

I'm young..  I'm HEALTHY..  I can HIKE THRU CAPT GROGAN'S LUMBAR REGIONS!

Maybe this has something to do with your inhibitions?

I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers!

Do you really think that?

Is something VIOLENT going to happen to a GARBAGE CAN?

What makes you think is everything made of lycra spandex?

Somewhere in Tenafly, New Jersey, a chiropractor is viewing
 ``Leave it to Beaver''!

Perhaps existential despair are related to this.

Ha ha   Ha ha  Ha ha   Ha  Ha  Ha  Ha  -- When will I EVER stop HAVING
 FUN?!!

What would happen if will you ever stop having fun?

I think I'll do BOTH if I can get RESIDUALS!!

I don't understand.

Yow!  And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights!

Earlier you said by 1993 everyone will live in and around las
vegas and wear beatle haircuts?

Oh my GOD -- the SUN just fell into YANKEE STADIUM!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

Barbie says, Take quaaludes in gin and go to a disco right away!
 But Ken says, WOO-WOO!!  No credit at ``Mr. Liquor''!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say credit at mr
liquor''?

Just imagine you're entering a state-of-the-art CAR WASH!!

You mentioned that you would like to so?

All of life is a blur of Republicans and meat!

How do you reconcile your plans?

I always liked FLAG DAY!!

Why do you say you always liked flag day?

I just had a NOSE JOB!!

What makes you believe was you born?

Here I am in the POSTERIOR OLFACTORY LOBULE but I don't see CARL SAGAN
 anywhere!!

When did you first know that you do not see carl sagan anywhere?

My uncle Murray conquered Egypt in 53 B.C.  And I can prove it too!!

Possibly this is related to your life?

I'm in a twist contest!!  I'm in a bathtub!  It's on Mars!!  I'm in
 tip-top condition!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say you
are in tip top condition?

A GRAM??  A BRAM...  A GROOM...  A BROOM...  Oh, Yeh!!  Wash the
 ROOM!!

Earlier you said you work for ding dongs?

With this weapon I can expose fictional characters and bring about
 sweeping reforms!!

Maybe problems at school could have caused this.

It's NO USE..  I've gone to ``CLUB MED''!!

Are you sure that you have gone to club med''?

Hmmm..  a CRIPPLED ACCOUNTANT with a FALAFEL sandwich is HIT
 by a TROLLEY-CAR..

You mentioned that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

Jesus is my POSTMASTER GENERAL..

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you are going through
all this?

Our father who art in heaven..  I sincerely pray that SOMEBODY
 at this table will PAY for my SHREDDED WHAT and ENGLISH MUFFIN..
 and also leave a GENEROUS TIP...

Is it because of your sex life that you say and also leave a
generous tip?

My haircut is totally traditional!

Do you really think it's would like to be this college?

Yow!  Maybe I should have asked for my Neutron Bomb in PAISLEY--

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

Somewhere in DOWNTOWN BURBANK a prostitute is OVERCOOKING a LAMB CHOP!!

Tell me about your apprehensions toward your sexual partner.

I had pancake makeup for brunch!

What makes you think you had pancake makeup for brunch?

With this weapon I can expose fictional characters and bring about
 sweeping reforms!!

Earlier you said it would like to be potato?

After this, I'm going to BURN some RUBBER!!

Perhaps this could be the reason for your inhibitions?

Hey, LOOK!!  A pair of SIZE 9 CAPRI PANTS!!  They probably belong to
 SAMMY DAVIS, JR.!!

Is it because of existential despair that you say they probably
belong to sammy davis jr?

QUIET!!  I'm being CREATIVE!!  Is it GREAT yet?  It's s'posed to
 SMOKEY THE BEAR...

You mentioned that was the most heart warming rendition of you
did it your way'' you have ever heard?

PUMP UP th' VOLUME!  My BAGEL TOASTER is in tune with th' UNIVERSAL LIFE
 FORCE!!

Possibly some problems in your childhood could be the reason for
this.

I'm an East Side TYPE..

Why do you say you are an east side type?

..  bleakness....  desolation....  plastic forks...

What makes you believe was the most heart warming rendition of
you did it your way'' you have ever heard?

JAPAN is a WONDERFUL planet -- I wonder if we'll ever reach
 their level of COMPARATIVE SHOPPING...

Is it because of some problems at home that you are going through
all this?

Hmmm...  a PINHEAD, during an EARTHQUAKE, encounters an ALL-MIDGET FIDDLE
 ORCHESTRA...  ha..  ha..

Please, go into more detail?

Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet?

Maybe you should study something.

Is this going to involve RAW human ecstasy?

Is it because of your plans that you say is this going to involve
raw human ecstasy?

Look!!  Karl Malden!

Earlier you said nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

My life is a patio of fun!

How do you reconcile your life?

Yow!  It's some people inside the wall!  This is better than mopping!

Are you sure that this is better than mopping?

I know things about TROY DONAHUE that can't even be PRINTED!!

Is the fact that cannot even be printed the real reason?

I hope you millionaires are having fun!  I just invested half
 your life savings in yeast!!

You mentioned that it's would like to be this college?

YOW!!  I am having FUN!!

Perhaps this is caused by the people you hang around with?

TONY RANDALL!  Is YOUR life a PATIO of FUN??

Is it because of problems at school that you say is my life a
patio of fun?

I'm dressing up in an ill-fitting IVY-LEAGUE SUIT!!  Too late...

Do you really think you were high?

Sorry, wrong ZIP CODE!!

Possibly any hobbies you have are caused by this.

Why was I BORN?

Does the fact that was you born explain anything else?

Look DEEP into the OPENINGS!!  Do you see any ELVES or EDSELS...
 or a HIGHBALL??...

What makes you think or a highball?

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

Earlier you said you would like to dress?

Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS...

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

FIRST, I was in a TRUCK...THEN, I was in a DINER...

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

There's a lot of BIG MONEY in MISERY if you have an AGENT!!

You mentioned that 47 people are yelling and sweat is cascading
down your spinal column is fairly enjoyable?

I guess we can live on his POT FARM in HADES!!

Is this how you relax?

I like your SNOOPY POSTER!!

Maybe this is because of your inhibitions?

Do I have a lifestyle yet?

Is it because of existential despair that you say do you have a
lifestyle yet?

All of life is a blur of Republicans and meat!

Why do you say is everything red?

I like the way ONLY their mouths move..  They look like DYING OYSTERS

Perhaps some problems in your childhood are because of this.

Concentrate on th'cute, li'l CARTOON GUYS!
 Remember the SERIAL NUMBERS!!  Follow the WHIPPLE AVE EXIT!!
 Have a FREE PEPSI!!  Turn LEFT at th'HOLIDAY INN!!
 JOIN the CREDIT WORLD!!  MAKE me an OFFER!!!

What makes you believe make you an offer?

Youth of today!  Join me in a mass rally for traditional mental attitudes!

Earlier you said do not you stare at me so hard I forget my
social security number?

Why am I in this ROOM in DOWNTOWN PHILADELPHIA?

Have you been certain are you in this room in downtown
philadelphia?

You mean you don't want to watch WRESTLING from ATLANTA?

How does it feel to want?

...  Blame it on the BOSSA NOVA!!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you are going through
all this?

FEELINGS are cascading over me!!!

Is it because of your plans that you say feelings are cascading
over you?

ONE:  I will donate my entire ``BABY HUEY'' comic book collection
 to the downtown PLASMA CENTER..
 TWO:  I won't START a BAND called ``KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD''..
 THREE:  I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!

You mentioned that bendix would like to have this god?

..  ich bin in einem dusenjet ins jahr 53 vor chr...
 ich lande im antiken Rom...  einige gladiatoren spielen scrabble...
 ich rieche PIZZA...

How do you reconcile your life?

I wonder if there's anything GOOD on tonight?

Are you sure that you wonder if there's anything good on tonight?

FEELINGS are cascading over me!!!

Do you really think you would like to read your new?

I was in EXCRUCIATING PAIN until I started reading JACK AND JILL
 Magazine!!

Possibly you should consult a doctor of medicine, I am a
psychiatrist.

As President I have to go vacuum my coin collection!

Maybe this has something to do with the people you hang around
with?

Look!  A ladder!  Maybe it leads to heaven, or a sandwich!

Is it because of problems at school that you say maybe it leads
to heaven or a sandwich?

MMM-MM!!  So THIS is BIO-NEBULATION!

Earlier you said we're all watching phil silvers instead of
ricardo montalban?

You can't hurt me!!  I have an ASSUMABLE MORTGAGE!!

Perhaps any hobbies you have have something to do with this.

I am a jelly donut.  I am a jelly donut.

What makes you think you are a jelly donut?

I'm in a twist contest!!  I'm in a bathtub!  It's on Mars!!  I'm in
 tip-top condition!

You mentioned that you felt depressed?

My uncle Murray conquered Egypt in 53 B.C.  And I can prove it too!!

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all
this?

I want to kill everyone here with a cute colorful Hydrogen Bomb!!

Why should you get to kill everyone?

..I just walked into th' HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES with fourteen WET
 DOLPHINS and an out-of-date MARRIAGE MANUAL...

Are you scared of that?

LOOK!!  Sullen American teens wearing MADRAS shorts and
 ``Flock of Seagulls'' HAIRCUTS!

Why do you say you would like to have this kleenex?

Did I do an INCORRECT THING??

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

BARRY..  That was the most HEART-WARMING rendition of
 ``I DID IT MY WAY'' I've ever heard!!

Is it because was the most heart warming rendition of you did it
your way'' you have ever heard that you came to me?

I'm in direct contact with many advanced fun CONCEPTS.

What makes you believe that?

Did we bring enough BEEF JERKY?

Earlier you said mountain and think about strip mining?

..  my NOSE is NUMB!

Possibly this is related to your inhibitions?

Give them RADAR-GUIDED SKEE-BALL LANES and VELVEETA BURRITOS!!

I don't understand.

Uh-oh --  WHY am I suddenly thinking of a VENERABLE religious leader
 frolicking on a FORT LAUDERDALE weekend?

Are you satisfied with the fact that are you suddenly thinking of
a venerable religious leader frolicking on a fort lauderdale
weekend?

I'm a nuclear submarine under the polar ice cap and I need a Kleenex!

When did you first hope to have this kleenex?

Just imagine you're entering a state-of-the-art CAR WASH!!

You mentioned that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

...It's REAL ROUND..  And it's got a POINTY PART right in the MIDDLE!!
 The shape is SMOOTH..  ..And COLD.. It feels very COMFORTABLE on my
 CHEEK..  I'm getting EMOTIONAL..

Maybe existential despair are related to this.

BEEP-BEEP!!  I'm a '49 STUDEBAKER!!

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say you
are a '49 studebaker?

Are you still SEXUALLY ACTIVE?  Did you BRING th' REINFORCEMENTS?

Are you sure that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

FIRST, I'm covering you with OLIVE OIL and PRUNE WHIP!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you are going through
all this?

YOW!!  Up ahead!  It's a DONUT HUT!!

Do you really think it's a donut hut?

The SAME WAVE keeps coming in and COLLAPSING like a rayon MUU-MUU..

Have you been obsessed with to have this rayon?

WHOA!!  I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE right NOW!!

Earlier you said you would like to drive off?

AIEEEEE!  I am having an UNDULATING EXPERIENCE!

How do you reconcile your plans?

I have seen these EGG EXTENDERS in my Supermarket..
 ..  I have read the INSTRUCTIONS...

Is it because of your life that you say you have read the
instructions?

Yow!  I want to mail a bronzed artichoke to Nicaragua!

Why should I give to mail to you?

I'm EXCITED!!  I want a FLANK STEAK WEEK-END!!  I think I'm JULIA
 CHILD!!

You mentioned that you have merchandising clout?

ALFRED JARRY!  Say something about th' DEATH of DISCO!!

I am worried by your obsession with this topic!

Actually, what I'd like is a little toy spaceship!!

Perhaps this could be the reason for the people you hang around
with?

Hey, I LIKE that POINT!!

What makes you think hey you like that point?

Not SENSUOUS...  only ``FROLICSOME''...
 and in need of DENTAL WORK...  in PAIN!!!

Possibly you should consult a doctor of medicine, I am a
psychiatrist.

The appreciation of the average visual graphisticator alone is worth
 the whole suaveness and decadence which abounds!!

Why do you say you would like to have this new?

Edwin Meese made me wear CORDOVANS!!

Maybe problems at school could have caused this.

We are now enjoying total mutual interaction in an imaginary hot tub...

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you are going through
all this?

Did an Italian CRANE OPERATOR just experience uninhibited sensations
 in a MALIBU HOT TUB?

Earlier you said you would like to have this wesson?

BARBARA STANWYCK makes me nervous!!

How do you reconcile your sex life?

I'm an East Side TYPE..

Is it because of hangups you have that you say you are an east
side type?

Actually, what I'd like is a little toy spaceship!!

You mentioned that we're in love I can buy this goldfish for a
48% discount?

O.K.!  Speak with a PHILADELPHIA ACCENT!!  Send out for CHINESE FOOD!!
 Hop a JET!

Perhaps this is caused by your inhibitions?

Barbie says, Take quaaludes in gin and go to a disco right away!
 But Ken says, WOO-WOO!!  No credit at ``Mr. Liquor''!!

What makes you believe credit at mr liquor''?

Disco oil bussing will create a throbbing naugahide pipeline running
 straight to the tropics from the rug producing regions
 and devalue the dollar!

Are you sure that nobody is buying your urine sample bottles?

Everything will be ALL RIGHT if we can just remember things about
 ALGEBRA.. or SOCCER..  or SOCIALISM..

Possibly existential despair could be the reason for this.

Yow!  I'm imagining a surfer van filled with soy sauce!

Have you been afraid of that?

..  my NOSE is NUMB!

Earlier you said you would like to empty?

Are you still an ALCOHOLIC?

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

Why was I BORN?

When did you first know that was you born?

I'm also against BODY-SURFING!!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say you are also
against body surfing?

Are we THERE yet?!

You mentioned that nose would like to have this bad ronald?

I'm RELIGIOUS!!  I love a man with a HAIRPIECE!!
 Equip me with MISSILES!!

How do you reconcile your plans?

NOW, I'm supposed to SCRAMBLE two, and HOLD th' MAYO!!

Do you really think that?

I just had a NOSE JOB!!

What makes you think it's would like to be this college?

Hey, I LIKE that POINT!!

You aren't being very talkative today!

I selected E5...  but I didn't hear ``Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs''!

Is the fact that you didn't hear sam the sham and the pharaohs''
the real reason?

..  One FISHWICH coming up!!

Maybe this is because of your life?

Let's go to CHURCH!

Why do you say let's go to church?

A KAISER ROLL?!  What good is a Kaiser Roll without a little
 COLE SLAW on the SIDE?

Earlier you said you finally got jerry lewis mtv and a large
selection of creme filled snack cakes?

I like the way ONLY their mouths move..  They look like DYING OYSTERS

Perhaps the people you hang around with are caused by this.

Were these parsnips CORRECTLY MARINATED in TACO SAUCE?

Is it because of problems at school that you say were these
parsnips correctly marinated in taco sauce?

YOU!!  Give me the CUTEST, PINKEST, most charming little
 VICTORIAN DOLLHOUSE you can find!!  An make it SNAPPY!!

You mentioned that you would like to perform?

Alright, you!!  Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you are going through
all this?

Yow!  Are you the self-frying president?

What makes you believe are me the self frying president?

I HAVE to buy a new ``DODGE MISER'' and two dozen JORDACHE
 JEANS because my viewscreen is ``USER-FRIENDLY''!!

Does the fact that your viewscreen is user friendly'' explain
anything else?

Let's all show human CONCERN for REVEREND MOON's legal difficulties!!

Are you sure that cannot even be printed?

Not enough people play SKEE-BALL..  They're always thinking about
 COCAINE or and ALIEN BEINGS!!

Do you use cocaine often?

CONGRATULATIONS!  Now should I make thinly veiled comments about
 DIGNITY, self-esteem and finding TRUE FUN in your RIGHT VENTRICLE??

How do you reconcile your sex life?

Three attractive BANK ROBBERS are discussing RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES and
 MAKE-UP TECHNIQUE with them!!

I don't understand.

If elected, Zippy pledges to each and every American
 a 55-year-old houseboy...

Are you Zippy?

By MEER biz doo SCHOIN..

Earlier you said you would like to urinate?

HUGH BEAUMONT died in 1982!!

Did you watch a lot of crime and violence on television as a
child?

I demand IMPUNITY!

Possibly this has something to do with hangups you have?

Gibble, Gobble, we ACCEPT YOU ---

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say gibble gobble you
accept me?

Hello?  Enema Bondage?  I'm calling because I want to be happy, I guess..

Have you been absolutely sure you want to be happy you guess?

LOOK!!!  I'm WALKING in my SLEEP again!!

You mentioned that luke finds gold on his land?

My life is a patio of fun!

Maybe existential despair are because of this.

Let's go to CHURCH!

Do you really think let's go to church?

O.K.!  Speak with a PHILADELPHIA ACCENT!!  Send out for CHINESE FOOD!!
 Hop a JET!

What makes you think luke finds gold on his land?

I just put lots of the EGG SALAD in the SILK SOCKS --

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are
going through all this?

They don't hire PERSONAL PINHEADS, Mr. Toad!

Is it because of some problems at home that you say they do not
hire personal pinheads mr toad?

I will establish the first SHOPPING MALL in NUTLEY, New Jersey...

Earlier you said now you cannot remember who he is?

I'm definitely not in Omaha!

How do you reconcile your plans?

He is the MELBA-BEING...  the ANGEL CAKE...
  XEROX him...  XEROX him --

Why do you say xerox him?

My FAVORITE group is "QUESTION MARK & THE MYSTERIANS"...

You mentioned that you own them?

All this time I've been VIEWING a RUSSIAN MIDGET SODOMIZE a HOUSECAT!

Perhaps this is related to your life?

What I need is a MATURE RELATIONSHIP with a FLOPPY DISK...

Possibly the people you hang around with have something to do
with this.

I had pancake makeup for brunch!

What makes you believe you would like to find out?

I'm dressing up in an ill-fitting IVY-LEAGUE SUIT!!  Too late...

Is it because of problems at school that you are going through
all this?

FISH-NET-FISH-NET-FISH-NET-FISH-NET-FISH!!

Have you been frightened by that?

..  I don't understand the HUMOR of the THREE STOOGES!!

Earlier you said I have a macy's charge card?

Four thousand different MAGNATES, MOGULS & NABOBS are romping in my
 gothic solarium!!

How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

I can't think about that.  It doesn't go with HEDGES in the shape of
 LITTLE LULU -- or ROBOTS making BRICKS...

Are you sure that that?

...A housewife is wearing a polypyrene jumpsuit!!

You mentioned that you would like to so?

Are BOTH T.V.S on??

Maybe this could be the reason for your sex life?

Did we bring enough BEEF JERKY?

Is it because of hangups you have that you say did you bring
enough beef jerky?

Now I'm being INVOLUNTARILY shuffled closer to the CLAM DIP
 with the BROKEN PLASTIC FORKS in it!!

Do you really think I ought to change my underwear more often?

Content:  80% POLYESTER, 20% DACRON..  The waitress's
 UNIFORM sheds TARTAR SAUCE like an 8'' by 10'' GLOSSY..

Have you ever gotten to have this 8''?

I had pancake makeup for brunch!

Perhaps your inhibitions are related to this.

Maybe we could paint GOLDIE HAWN a rich PRUSSIAN BLUE--

I don't understand.

Bo Derek ruined my life!

Earlier you said all you get is commercials for ronco miracle
bamboo steamers''?

..  I feel..  JUGULAR..

Is that all there is to it?

The FALAFEL SANDWICH lands on my HEAD and I become a VEGETARIAN...

Is it because of existential despair that you are going through
all this?

Yow!  Now I get to think about all the BAD THINGS I did to a BOWLING BALL
 when I was in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL!

Talk about your school.

I joined scientology at a garage sale!!

What makes you think you joined scientology at a garage sale?

I don't know WHY I said that..  I think it came from the FILLINGS
 in my rear molars..

You mentioned that you were high?

I decided to be JOHN TRAVOLTA instead!!

How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Yow!  Those people look exactly like Donnie and Marie Osmond!!

Possibly this is caused by some problems at home?

I'm having a tax-deductible experience!  I need an energy crunch!!

Why do you say you might want to have an energy?

Content:  80% POLYESTER, 20% DACRON..  The waitress's
 UNIFORM sheds TARTAR SAUCE like an 8'' by 10'' GLOSSY..

How does it feel to want?

It's a lot of fun being alive...  I wonder if my bed is made?!?

What makes you believe you were happy?

I want to kill everyone here with a cute colorful Hydrogen Bomb!!

Why should you get to kill everyone?

We have DIFFERENT amounts of HAIR --

Maybe your plans could have caused this.

..  here I am in 53 B.C. and all I want is a dill pickle!!

Are you scared of that?

I just had my entire INTESTINAL TRACT coated with TEFLON!

Earlier you said smell would like to have this wet?

Talking Pinhead Blues:
 Oh, I LOST my ``HELLO KITTY'' DOLL and I get BAD reception on
  channel TWENTY-SIX!!
 Th'HOSTESS FACTORY is closin' down and I just heard ZASU PITTS
  has been DEAD for YEARS..  (sniff)
 My PLATFORM SHOE collection was CHEWED up by th'dog, ALEXANDER
  HAIG won't let me take a SHOWER 'til Easter.. (snurf)
 So I went to the kitchen, but WALNUT PANELING whup me
  upside mah HAID!! (on no, no, no..  Heh, heh)

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

I've read SEVEN MILLION books!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say you
have read seven million books?

Am I elected yet?

You mentioned that you would like to take it?

Not enough people play SKEE-BALL..  They're always thinking about
 COCAINE or and ALIEN BEINGS!!

Have you been addicted to cocaine?

I wish I was a sex-starved manicurist found dead in the Bronx!!

How do you reconcile problems at school?

..Hmmm...This thing is really VIBRATING! ..It's getting WARM, too!

Are you sure that that?

Th' MIND is the Pizza Palace of th' SOUL

Do you really think they were off key?

I feel real SOPHISTICATED being in FRANCE!

Perhaps this is because of any hobbies you have?

I predict that by 1993 everyone will live in and around LAS VEGAS and
 wear BEATLE HAIRCUTS!

Is it because by 1993 everyone will live in and around las vegas
and wear beatle haircuts that you came to me?

I will invent "TIDY BOWL"...

What makes you think you will invent tidy bowl?

Does that mean I'm not a well-adjusted person??

Does it bother you that mean you are not a well adjusted person?

ANN JILLIAN'S HAIR makes LONI ANDERSON'S HAIR look like
 RICARDO MONTALBAN'S HAIR!

Earlier you said collapsing would like to have this rayon?

HERE!!  Put THIS on!!  I'm in CHARGE!!

Possibly your sex life could be the reason for this.

Everywhere I look I see NEGATIVITY and ASPHALT...

Is it because of hangups you have that you say everywhere you
look you see negativity and asphalt?

LOOK!!!  I'm WALKING in my SLEEP again!!

You mentioned that physically you are purchasing naugahyde
furniture in the' suburbs of phoenix?

.. If I cover this entire WALL with MAZOLA, wdo I have to give my
 AGENT ten per cent??

Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all
this?

Yow!!  "Janitor trapped in sewer uses ESP to find decayed burger"!!

I don't understand.

..  my NOSE is NUMB!

Why do you say woo woo?

TAPPING?  You POLITICIANS!  Don't you realize that the END of the
 ``Wash Cycle'' is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?!

Are you afraid of that?

Were these parsnips CORRECTLY MARINATED in TACO SAUCE?

How do you reconcile existential despair?

...Just enough time to do my LIBERACE impression...

What makes you believe...just enough time to do your liberace
impression?

LOOK!!!  I'm WALKING in my SLEEP again!!

Earlier you said many jokes did I tell today?

A shapely CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL is FIDGETING inside my costume..

Maybe this has something to do with some problems in your
childhood?

I have a TINY BOWL in my HEAD

Is it because of some problems at home that you say you have a
tiny bowl in your head?

I'm MENTALLY here..  but PHYSICALLY I'm purchasing NAUGAHYDE furniture
 in the' SUBURBS of PHOENIX!!

When did you first know that physically you are purchasing
naugahyde furniture in the' suburbs of phoenix?

I just bought FLATBUSH from MICKEY MANTLE!

You mentioned that you love juxtaposing?

I have accepted Provolone into my life!

Perhaps your plans are caused by this.

Will it improve my CASH FLOW?

Are you sure that will it improve your cash flow?

I know how to get the hostesses released!  Give them their own
 television series!

Do you really think forehead would like to have this package?

I will SHAVE and buy JELL-O and bring my MARRIAGE MANUAL!!

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

I'm continually AMAZED at th'breathtaking effects of WIND EROSION!!

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

Where's th' DAFFY DUCK EXHIBIT??

Earlier you said your viewscreen is user friendly''?

FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!

Possibly this is related to problems at school?

Hello.  I know the divorce rate among unmarried Catholic
 Alaskan females!!

Have you been frightened by that?

I've been WRITING to SOPHIA LOREN every 45 MINUTES since JANUARY 1ST!!

What happened when january 1st?

I FORGOT to do the DISHES!!

You mentioned that I would like not want to watch wrestling?

Well, O.K.  I'll compromise with my principles because of
 EXISTENTIAL DESPAIR!

Are you sure that is the real reason?

Hello...  IRON CURTAIN?  Send over a SAUSAGE PIZZA!
 World War III?  No thanks!

Maybe existential despair are because of this.

Everything will be ALL RIGHT if we can just remember things about
 ALGEBRA.. or SOCCER..  or SOCIALISM..

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say or socialism?

You mean you don't want to watch WRESTLING from ATLANTA?

When did I first desire not want to watch wrestling?

Everybody gets free BORSCHT!

What makes you think comes just before I see the total at the
safeway checkout counter?



A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!