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Sleepin' on the street in a cardboard box He's better off drinkin' than
smokin' the rocks Johnny Ryall He drinks where he lies He's covered with
flies He's got the hand me down Pumas and the tie dyes Go upstate and get
your head together Thunderbird is the word and you're light as a feather
Detox at the flop house no booze allowed Remember the good old days with
the rockabilly crowd Memphis is where he's from He lives in the street but
he's no bum A rockabilly star from the days of old He used to have teeth
all filled with gold A platinum voice but only gold records On the bass was
boots on the drums was checkers Luis Vuitton with the Gucci guitar Johnny
Ryall *Who do you think you are* Johnny Ryall Donald Trump Donald Tramp
living in the Men's Shelter Wonder Bread bag shoes and singing Helter
Skelter He asks for a dollar you know what it's for Bottle after bottle
he'll always need more He's no less important than you working class stiffs
Drinks a lot of liquor but he don't drink piss Paid his dues playing the
blues He claims that he wrote the Blue Suede Shoes Elvis shaved his head
when he went into the army *That's right y'all his name is* Johnny Johnny
Ryall I looked out the window and seen his bald head I ran to the fridge
        and pulled out an egg Scoped him with my scopes he had no hair
        Launched that shot and he was caught out there Saw the convertible
driving by Loaded up the slingshot and let one fly He went for his to find
he didn't have one Put him in check correct with my egg gun The egg a
symbol of life Go inside your house and bust out your wife Pulled out the
jammy he thought it was a joke The trigger I pulled his face the yoke
Reached in his pocket took all his cash Left my man standing with an egg
moustache Suckers they come a dime a dozen And when I say dozen you know
what I'm talking about Humpty Dumpty was a big fat egg He was playing the
wall and then he broke his leg Tossed it out the window three minutes hot
Hit the Rastaman he said *bloodclot* Which came first the chicken or the
egg I egged the chicken then I ate his leg Riding the trains in between
cars When I pull out the station *you're gonna get yours* Drive by eggings
plaguing L.A. *Yo they just got my little cousin ese* Sometimes hard boiled
sometimes runny It comes from a chicken not a bunny dummy People laugh it's
no joke My name's Yauch and I'm throwing the yoke *Now they got me in a
cell* but I don't care It was then that I caught catching people out there
We all dressed in black we snuck up around the back We began to attack the
eggs did crack on Haze's back Sam I am down with the program Green eggs and
ham Yosemite Sam Come Halloween you know I come strapped I throw it at a
sucker K-pap You made the mistake you judge a man by his race You go
through life with egg on your face You woke up in the morning with a
peculiar feeling You looked up and saw egg dripping from the ceiling
Families puck rocks the businessman I'll dog anybody with an egg in my hand
Not like the crack that you put in a pipe But crack on your forehead here's
a towel now wipe They can't catch me never gonna find me They're never
gonna know that I'm the High Plains Drifter Pulled over to the
river to take a rest Pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled the
bullet out of my chest Fear and loathing across the country listening to my
8 track Reached behind the seat and grabbed a Kool from the pack Long
distance from my girl and I'm talking on the cellular She said that she was
sorry and I said yeah the hell you were Check my rear view mirror check the
gold tooth display Check the odometer and I was on my way Cause I'm a high
plains drifter the best that you can get A strapped shoplifter a pirate on
cassette Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed Don't
step to me or you're gonna get mushed Doing 120 plowing over mail boxes
Radar detector to tell me where the cops is Spend another night at the
Motel 6 It's five dollars extra get the porno flicks Concoct a black and
tan in my brandy snifter I'm a kleptomaniac K-Mart shoplifter Cash flow
getting low so I had to pull a job I found a nice place to visit but a
better place to rob Left the car outside with the engine still revvin' Time
to get busy at 7-Eleven Went inside to make my withdrawal I would've took
what he had had had I had to take it all Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me
on the price So I clocked him off the turban with the bag of ice Mellow
like Jell-O cool like lemonade Made my getaway and I thought that I had it
made I feel like Steve McQueen a former movie star Look in my rearview
mirror seen a police car Ballantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap I
couldn't help but notice I was caught in a speed trap Dirty Mary Crazy
Larry on the run from Dirty Harry Stash the cash in the dash but my gun I
did carry I'm seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night I got my alibi
straight and I pulled over to the right Cop knocked on my window and said
Boy where's the fire you've got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front
tire *Outta the car longhair* your goose is cooked Read me my rights
fingerprinted and booked Makin' like a D.T. driving a Gran Fury Wherever I
hang my hat's my home and my past is kind of blurry Every dog will have its
day and mine will be in front of a jury I'm the High Plains Drifter and I'm
never in a hurry Read me my rights as if I didn't know this Threw me in the
tank with the drunk called Otis With his five o' clock shadow he smelled of
3-day old beer My man turned to me and said why are you here? I said I'm
charming and dashing I'm rental car bashing Phony paper passing at Nix
Check Cashing Went before the judge he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D.
He said you behave son or we'll throw away the key Harry Houdini'd out the
cuffs I kicked the screw in the knee Took the bailiff's wallet and went
straight to O.T.B. I had a good feeling easy come easy go I bet on one
horse to win and your mother to show And sure enough that nag came in
Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win Broke into my new car
with a wire coat hanger Hot wired hot wheeled and *Suzy is a headbanger*
Now here we go dropping science dropping it all over Like bumping
around the town like when you're driving a Range Rover Expanding
the horizons and expanding the parameters Expanding the rhymes of sucker
M.C. amateurs Naugels, Isaac Newton Scientific E.Z. Ben Franklin with the
kite getting over with the key Rock shocking the mic as many times times
the times tables Rock well to tell dispel all of the old fables I've been
dropping the new science and kicking the new knowledge An M.C. to a degree
that you can't get in college The dregs of the earth and the eggs that I
eat I've got pegs through my hands and one through my feet Shea Stadium the
radium E M D squared Got kicked out of the Palladium you think that I cared
It's the sound of science Public service announcement time and money for
girls covered with honey You lie and aspire to be as cunning Reeling and
rockin' and rollin' B size D cup Order the quarter deluxe why don't you
wake up My mind is kinda flowin like an oil projector Had to get up to get
the Jimmy protector Went berserk and worked and exploded She woke up in the
morning and her face was coated Buddy you study the man on the mic D. do
what you like Drunk a skunk am I from the celebration To peep that freak
unique penetration I figured out who makes the crack It's the suckers with
the badges and the blue jackets A professor of science cause I keep
droppin' it I smell weak cause you keep poppin' it People always asking
what's the phenomenon Yo what's up know what's going on No one really knows
what I'm talking about Yeah that's right my name's Yauch Ponce De Leon
constantly on The fountain of youth not Robotron Peace is a word I've heard
before So move and move and move upon the dance floor I'm gonna die gonna
die one day Cause I'm goin and goin and goin this way Not like a roach or a
piece of toast I'm going out first class not going out coach Rock my Adidas
never rock Fila *I do not sniff the coke I only smoke sinsemilla* With my
nose I knows and with my scopes I scope What I live I write and that is
strictly rope I've got science for any occasion Postulating theorems
formulating equations Cheech wizard in a snow blizzard Eating chicken
gizzards with a girl named Lizzy Dropping science like when Galileo dropped
his orange Stay up all night go to sleep watching Dragnet Never sleep alone
because Jimmy's the magnet I'm so rope they call me Mr. Roper When
the troubles arise I'm the cool coper On the mic I score just like
the Yankees Get over on Ms. Crabtree like my main man Spankee Excuse me
young lady I don't mean to trouble ya But you're looking mighty fine inside
your B.M.W. I got lucky I brought home a kitten Before I got busy I