Alt-Sex-INGY
view release on metacpan or search on metacpan
srand; # More exciting this way.
use vars qw($VERSION);
$VERSION = '0.12';
my @Grunts = ('Does it get bigger?',
'I thought eight inches was longer than that.',
'Baseball...',
"Let's talk about our relationship.",
'Wrong hole, dear.',
qw(Yes!
Oh!
Harder!
YEAH!
YES!
OOOooooh...
Baby.
MORE!
Mmmmmm...
There!
)
);
sub import {
local $| = 1;
my($class) = shift;
my($caller) = caller;
if( !@_ ) {
die "It takes two to tango, babe.\n";
}
elsif( @_ == 1 ) {
if( $_[0] eq $caller ) {
die <<MASTURBATION;
masturbation
n : manual stimulation of the genital organs (of yourself or
another) for sexual pleasure [syn: {onanism}, {self-abuse}]
MASTURBATION
}
else {
die "Parthenogenesis isn't currently supported by ".
__PACKAGE__ . "\n";
}
}
my @modules = map { /^\?$/ ? volunteer() : $_ } @_;
my %zygote = ();
my $call_sym_table = \%{$caller.'::'};
foreach my $gamete (@modules) {
eval "use $gamete(); 1" or next;
while( my($chromo, $rna) = each %{$gamete.'::'} ) {
push @{$zygote{$chromo}}, $rna;
}
}
while( my($chromo, $rna) = each %zygote ) {
$call_sym_table->{$chromo} = $rna->[rand @$rna];
print $Grunts[rand @Grunts], "\n";
#select(undef, undef, undef, 0.45);
}
# push @{$caller.'::ISA'}, @modules;
print "\n";
return 'Harry Balls who?';
}
sub volunteer {
my @volunteers = map {s/\.pmc?$//;s!/!::!g;$_} keys %INC;
$volunteers[rand @volunteers];
}
return 'Harry balls anyone he wants!';
( run in 1.931 second using v1.01-cache-2.11-cpan-39bf76dae61 )