view release on metacpan or  search on metacpan

lib/Acme/Phlegethoth.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

package Acme::Phlegethoth;

use warnings;
use strict;

our $VERSION  = '1.05';
my $hear_me   = "ia ia! ";
my $amen      = " [Text ends abruptly.]\n";
my @pre       = qw( c f' h' na nafl ng nnn ph' y );
my @suf       = qw( agl nyth og or oth yar );
my @word      = qw(
	ah 'ai athg 'bthnk bug ch' chtenff ebumna ee ehye ep 'fhalma fhtagn
	fm'latgh ftaghu geb gnaiih gof'nn goka gotha grah'n hafh'drn hai
	hlirgh hrii hupadgh ilyaa k'yarnak kadishtu kn'a li'hee llll lloig
	lw'nafh mg mnahn' n'gha n'ghft nglui nilgh'ri nog nw ooboshu orr'e
	phlegeth r'luh ron s'uhn sgn'wahl shagg shogg shtunggli shugg sll'ha
	stell'bsna syha'n tharanak throd uaaah uh'e uln vulgtlagln vulgtm
	wgah'n y'hah ya zhro
);

sub summon {
	my $old_one = unpack "b*", shift;
	my $prayer  = $hear_me;
	my $chant   = "";

	foreach my $tentacle (split //, $old_one) {
		$chant = reverse(
			((rand() < 0.25) ? $pre[rand @pre] : "") .
			$word[rand @word] .
			((rand() < 0.25) ? $suf[rand @suf] : "") .
			((rand() < 0.1) ? "! " : "") .
			" "
		) unless length $chant;
		$prayer .= $1, redo if $chant =~ s/([^a-z])$//;
		$prayer .= chop $chant;
		substr($prayer, -1, 1) =~ tr[a-z][A-Z] if $tentacle;
	}

	$prayer .= $amen;
}

sub banish {
	local $_ = shift;
	s/^\Q$hear_me//; s/\Q$amen\E$//; tr[a-zA-Z][]cd; tr[a-z][0]; tr[A-Z][1];
	pack "b*", $_;
}

sub see { $_[0] =~ /\S/ }
sub comprehend { $_[0] =~ /^\Q$hear_me/ }
sub roll_sanity_check { &see }

sub import {
	no strict 'refs';
	open 0 or warn "Can't summon '$0'\n" and exit;
	(my $old1 = join "", <0>) =~ (
		s/(.*^\s*)use\s+Acme('|::)Phlegethoth\s*;\s*\n//sm
	);
	my $harbinger = $1 || "";
	local $SIG{__WARN__} = \&roll_sanity_check;
	do {eval banish $old1; exit} unless see $old1 and not comprehend $old1;
	open 0, ">$0" or warn "Can't banish '$0'\n" and exit;
	print {0} "${harbinger}use Acme'Phlegethoth;\n", summon $old1 and exit;
	print "${harbinger}use Acme'Phlegethoth;\n", summon $old1 and exit;
}

__END__

=head1 NAME

Acme::Phlegethoth - Improve your code's readability, if you're an Ancient One

=head1 SYNOPSIS

	use Acme::Phlegethoth;
	print "goodbye, world!\n";

=head1 DESCRIPTION

Acme::Phlegethoth improves the readability of your Perl programs to
the Elder Gods.  This may accelerate a debugging session where you
feel compelled to invoke them.  After all, if you're outsourcing
development to Cthulhu, you'd better damn well be sure He can read
your code.

Acme::Phlegethoth translates your code to Aklo the first time your
program uses it.  From that point on, your program continues to work
as before, but it now looks something like this:

	use Acme'Phlegethoth;
	ia ia!  mnahN' NAflHriI R'LuHnyTh BUgoR SLl'HAog gOf'NN Hai ron
	gOf'nn Nnn'aIog FHTagN LlLL YHlIRgHOG GoF'Nn naCh'!  nNNvuLgtlAGlN
	thROD!  PhLeGetH StelL'BsNaoth sll'Ha!  aH NAfL'AIyAR H'EbUMna
	HliRGHog eHYeOG nnnSgn'WAhL fm'laTgh ah ILYaA h'zHRO iLYaa