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my $glass = " \t"x8;
sub reflect { local $_ = unpack "b*", pop; tr/01/ \t/; s/(.{9})/$1\n/g; $glass.$_ }
sub deflect { local $_ = pop; s/^$glass|[^ \t]//g; tr/ \t/01/; pack "b*", $_ }
sub opaque  { $_[0] =~ /\S/ }
sub deep    { $_[0] =~ /^$glass/ }

open 0 or print "Can't open '$0'\n" and exit;
(my $thought = join "", <0>) =~ s/.*^\s*use\s+Acme::MJD\s*;\n\n(?:.*?--\s+Mark\s+Jason\s+Dominus.*?\n)?//sm;

local $SIG{__WARN__} = \&opaque;
do {eval deflect $thought; exit} unless opaque $thought and not deep $thought;

my $DeepThought = '';
{
    my $rand = int rand 66;
    while($rand > 0){
        $DeepThought = <DATA>;
        $rand--;
    }
    close DATA;
    chomp $DeepThought;
    $DeepThought =~ s/^\#\d+\s//;

    require Text::Wrap;
    local $Text::Wrap::columns = 72;

    my @lines = Text::Wrap::wrap('', '', $DeepThought);

    if(length $lines[-1] < 63 ){
        $lines[-1] .= "  --  Mark Jason Dominus";
    } else {
        push @lines, "        --  Mark Jason Dominus";
    }

    $DeepThought = join "\n",@lines;
}

open 0, ">$0" or print "Cannot ponder '$0'\n" and exit;
print {0} "use Acme::MJD;\n\n$DeepThought\n", reflect $thought and exit;

=head1 NAME

Acme::MJD - Mark Jason Dominus does perl


=head1 SYNOPSIS

    use Acme::MJD;
    print "Hello world";

=head1 DESCRIPTION

The first time you run a program under C<use Acme::MJD>, the module
removes all the unsightly printable characters from 
your source file. The code continues to work exactly as it did before, 
but now it contains a profound nugget of wisdom from the man himself,
Mark Jason Dominus (E<lt>http://perl.plover.com/E<gt>).

These nuggets were mined from a comp.lang.perl.misc 
post by MJD entitled "Good Advice and Maxims for Programmers"
(E<lt>http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=a6ukat%24a4b%241%40plover.comE<gt>).

=head1 BUGS

Please don't report bugs ;)
But if you really really need to, go to 
E<lt>http://rt.cpan.org/NoAuth/Bugs.html?Dist=Acme-MJDE<gt>
or send mail to E<lt>bug-Acme-MJD#rt.cpan.orgE<gt>


=head1 AUTHOR

	D. H. (PODMASTER)

=head1 COPYRIGHT

This program is free software; you can redistribute
it and/or modify it under the same terms as Perl itself.

The full text of the license can be found in the
LICENSE file included with this module distribution.


=head1 SEE ALSO

L<Acme::Bushisms|Acme::Bushisms>, L<Acme::Bleach|Acme::Bleach>, L<Acme::DeepThoughts|Acme::DeepThoughts>.

=cut

__DATA__
#11900 You cannot just paste code with no understanding of what is going on and expect it to work.
#11901 You can't just make shit up and expect the computer to know what you mean, Retardo!
#11902 You said it didn't work, but you didn't say what it would have done if it *had* worked.
#11903 What are you really trying to accomplish here?
#11904 Who the fuck cares which one is faster?
#11905 Now is the time in our program where you look at the manual.
#11906 Look at the error message!  Look at the error message!
#11907 Looking for a compiler bug is the strategy of LAST resort.  LAST resort.
#11908 Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
#11909 Bad programmer!  No cookie!
#11910 I see you omitted $! from the error message.   It won't tell you what went wrong if you don't ask it to.
#11911 You wrote the same thing twice here.  The cardinal rule of programming is that you never ever write the same thing twice.
#11912 Evidently it's important to you to get the wrong answer as quickly as possible.
#11913 Gee, I don't know.  I wonder what the manual says about that?
#11914 Well, no duh.  That's because you ignored the error message, dimwit.
#11915 Only Sherlock Holmes can debug the program by pure deduction from the output.  You are not Sherlock Holmes.  Run the fucking debugger already.
#11916 Always ignore the second error message unless the meaning is obvious.
#11917 Read.  Learn.  Evolve.
#11918 Well, then get one that *does* do auto-indent.  You can't do good work with bad tools.
#11919 No.  You must believe the ERROR MESSAGE.  You MUST believe the error message.
#11920 The error message is the Truth.  The error message is God.  
#11921 It could be anything.  Too bad you didn't bother to diagnose the error, huh?
#11922 You don't suppress error messages, you dumbass, you PAY ATTENTION and try to understand them.
#11923 Never catch a signal except as a last resort.
#11924 Well, if you don't know what it does, why did you put it in your program?
#11925 Gosh, that wasn't very bright, was it?
#11926 That's like taking a crap on someone's doorstep and then ringing the doorbell to ask for toilet paper.
#11927 A good approach to that problem would be to hire a computer programmer.
#11928 First get a book on programming.  Then read it.  Then write the program.
#11929 First ask yourself `How would I do this without a computer?'  Then have the computer do it the same way.