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	19   => [ qr/COVID/,             '19 is the coronavirus number' ],
	24   => [ qr/TINTIN/,            'There are 24 Tintin comics' ],
	33   => [ qr/MASON/,             '33 is associated with the masons' ],
	35   => [ qr/ELVIS/,             'Elvis was born in 1935' ],
	44   => [ qr/OBAMA/,             'Barack Obama was the 44th President of the USA' ],
	45   => [ qr/TRUMP|QANON|USA/,   'Donald Trump was the 45th President of the USA',
	          qr/UNITEDNATIONS/,     'The United Nations was founded in 1945' ],
	46   => [ qr/BIDEN/,             'Joe Biden was the 46th President of the USA' ],
	47   => [ qr/THECIA/,            'The CIA was founded in 1947',
	          qr/SILVER/,            'Silver has atomic number 47' ],
	49   => [ qr/NATO/,              'NATO was founded in 1949' ],
	51   => [ qr/KFC/,               'Area 51 is the fifty-first area' ],
	52   => [ qr/KFC/,               'KFC was founded in 1952' ],
	55   => [ qr/BIGMAC|MCDONALDS/,  'McDonalds was founded in 1955' ],
	63   => [ qr/JFK|OSWALD/,        'JFK was shot in 1963' ],
	79   => [ qr/GOLD/,              'Gold has the atomic number 79' ],
	81   => [ qr/HIV/,               'AIDS was discovered in 1981' ],
	82   => [ qr/COKE/,              'Diet Coke first came out in 1982' ],
	86   => [ qr/RADON/,             'The atomic number for radon is 86' ],
	92   => [ qr/URANIUM/,           'The atomic number for uranium is 92' ],
	322  => [ qr/SKULL/,             'Skull and Bones is Order 322' ],
	666  => [ qr/DEVIL|DEMON|SATAN/, '666 is the number of the beast' ],
);

sub numerology {
	my $redstring = shift // {};
	
	my @strings = List::Util::uniq(
		grep { length }
		map { my $letters = uc( $_ ); $letters =~ s/[^A-Z0-9]//g; $letters }
		map {
			/^(the )(.+)$/i ? $2 : $_
		}
		map {
			ref( $_ ) ? grep( defined, $_->{name}, $_->{shortname}, $_->{title}, $_->{author} ) : $_
		}
		values( %$redstring )
	);
	
	my %calcs;
	foreach my $string ( @strings ) {
		next if length($string) >= 20;
		my @letters = split //, $string;
		my @numbers = map /[A-Z]/ ? ( ord($_) - 0x40 ) : $_, @letters;
		my $sum     = List::Util::sum( @numbers );
		
		push @{ $calcs{$sum} ||= [] }, sprintf(
			'%s = %s = %s',
			join( '+', @letters ),
			join( '+', @numbers ),
			$sum,
		);
	}
	
	foreach my $key ( %special_numbers ) {
		if ( $calcs{$key} ) {
			my @copy = @{ $special_numbers{$key} };
			while ( @copy ) {
				my ( $test, $statement ) = splice( @copy, 0 , 2 );
				next unless "@strings" =~ $test;
				push @{ $calcs{$key} }, "And guess what? " . $statement;
			}
		}
	}
	
	my @wow = map { @$_ > 1 ? @$_ : () } values %calcs;
	
	if ( @wow ) {
		return sprintf(
			"%s %s",
			_RANDOM_(
				'The numbers never lie.',
				'Trust the numbers.',
				'You can see the truth in the numbers.',
			),
			join(
				'',
				map( "$_. ", @wow ),
			)
		);
	}
	
	return '';
}

sub bad_punctuation {
	my ( $string, $cancel ) = @_;
	unless ( $cancel ) {
		$string =~ s/ ([A-Za-z]) ([,!?]) / $1 . _RANDOM_(    $2, " $2", " $2", " $2$2") /exg;
		$string =~ s/ ([A-Za-z]) ([.])   / $1 . _RANDOM_($2, $2, " $2", " ", " $2$2$2") /exg;
		$string =~ s/\!/_RANDOM_('!', '!', '!!',  "!!!!")/ex;
	}
	return $string;
}

1;

__END__

=pod

=encoding utf-8

=head1 NAME

Acme::ConspiracyTheory::Random - random theories

=head1 SYNOPSIS

  use feature 'say';
  use Acme::ConspiracyTheory::Random -all;
  
  say bad_punctuation( theory() );

=head1 DESCRIPTION

This module exports a function, C<< theory() >> which returns a string.

=for html <p><img src="https://raw.githubusercontent.com/tobyink/p5-acme-conspiracytheory-random/master/assets/pepe-silvia.jpeg" alt=""></p>

There is also a function C<< bad_punctuation >> which, given a string, might