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Now you can pick up the phone and dictate it to someone else
and they can type it in to a computer and run it with much
less chance of confusion or error.

This is also a security feature. It is expected that a government
official who has wire-tapped your line will be laughing too hard
to be able to recover the source code.

=cut

=head1 DIAGNOSTICS

=over 4

=item C<zownt thlip spoosh>

Something weird happened.

=back

=head1 BUGS

None known.

Please report any bugs or feature requests to
C<bug-acme-donmartin@rt.cpan.org>, or through the web interface at
L<http://rt.cpan.org/NoAuth/ReportBug.html?Queue=Acme-DonMartin>.

=head1 SEE ALSO

L<Acme::Bleach>,
L<Acme::Buffy>,
L<Acme::Bushisms>,
L<Acme::Morse>,
L<Acme::Ook>,
L<Acme::Phlegethoth>,
L<Acme::Pony>,
L<Acme::Python>,
etc. etc. and of course
L<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Martin>

=head1 AUTHOR

Copyright (C) 2005-2006, David Landgren, all rights reserved.

=head1 LICENSE

This library is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify
it under the same terms as Perl itself.

=cut

package Acme::DonMartin;

use strict;
use vars qw/ $VERSION /;

$VERSION = 0.09;

use vars qw/ $thud $thuk $thump $thwa $thwak $thwat $thwip %thwip $thwit $thwock
$thwop %thwop @thwop/; $thwit=length$thwop[length($thwop[$thwat=$thwa=0])-length
($thwop[1])];$thwop=map{$thwat+=length}@thwop[do{$thwop+=length for@thwop[$thwit
..$thwit+length($thwop[6])];$thwop}..do{$thwop&=$thwa;$thwop+=length$_ for@thwop
[3..14.1592645];$thwop}];$thwa=($thwop>>length$thwop[5])<<($thwip=1<<1+1)+1;open
$thwit=undef,"+<$0" or die q=zownt thlip spoosh\n=;$thwa=chr$thwa;while(<$thwit>
){$thump.=$_;last if/^\s*use +@{[__PACKAGE__]}/}$thwak=$thump;$thud=<$thwit>;use
Compress::Zlib;$thud=~s/\s+$//;push @{$thwop{$thwip{$_}=$thwop++%$thwat}},qq{$_}
while $_=shift @thwop;$thuk=do{$thwat=$thwip^4; @thwop=split / /, $thud;!@thwop?
length($thwak):do{exists$thwip{$_}&&++$thwat for@thwop;$thwat!=@thwop}};$thwop=!
$thuk;if($thuk){for(split//,compress($thud.do{@thwop=();local$/=undef,<$thwit>})
){$thwock=$thwop{ord$_}[rand$thwip];if(length join($thwa,@thwop,$thwock)>$thwip{
q{thwak}}-$thwip{thwit}){$thwak.=join($thwa,@thwop).$/;@thwop=( );$thump=''}push
@thwop, $thwock} @thwop and do{seek $thwit, $thwop=$thwip-$thwip, $thwip=$thwop-
$thwop;print$thwit($thwak,$thump,join($thwa,@thwop),$/);seek$thwit,$thwip,$thwop
;}} else {$thwop=$thwip{qq{shpork}}-$thwip{q{shklink}};eval uncompress do{while(
<$thwit>){$thwock.=chr for map{$thwip{$_}}(/(s(?:h(?:k(?:l(?:i(?:z(?:z(?:ortch|i
tz)|(?:ort|i)ch)|k(?:sa)?|tza|nk)|o(?:(?:(?:rbbado)?r)?p|ort)|u(?:r(?:ch|tz|k)|n
k)|a(?:zitch|kle))|alo?ink|witz)?|l(?:o(?:o[kp]|r[kp]|ip)|i(?:k(?:le)?|pp)|ur[kp
]|ak)|p(?:l(?:(?:oi|e)p|iple)|i(?:kk|sh)le|o(?:oosh|rk))|a(?:[fk]|sh(?:wik)?|zza
tz|bamp)?|o(?:o(?:ka?|ga|o)|(?:mpa|ss)h)|n(?:i(?:kkle|p)|orkle)|i(?:f(?:fle)?|ka
?)|t(?:o(?:in|r)|i)k|u(?:ffle|ka)|muzorft|wika?)|p(?:l(?:a(?:z(?:[ai]tc|oos)h|p(
?:idy|ple)?|d(?:ish|unk)|sh(?:idy)?|t(?:ch)?|k)?|o(?:r(?:p(?:le)?|t(?:ch)?|k)|yd
oing|o?sh|it|p)|i(?:sh(?:idy|le)?|tch|p)|esh|urp)|r(?:o(?:in(?:g(?:(?:acho|doi)n
k)?|k)|wmmm|p)|i(?:z(?:aw|z)itz|t(?:sits|z))|a(?:zo)?t)|a(?:(?:(?:ma)?m)?p|z(?:o
osh|at)|sh(?:le)?|loosh|tz|k)?|o(?:o(?:sht?|f)|p(?:ple)?)|wa(?:p(?:po)?|ko|ng|t)
|u(?:kkonk|tz?|sh)|ma(?:mp?|p)|itza?)|k(?:r(?:o(?:i(?:nch|k)|n(?:ch|k)|o(?:ok|m)
|tch)|a(?:k(?:it)?|z[ai]tz|wk)|i(?:bble|cha?|tch|nk)|ee(?:k(?:le)?|ch|e)|uncha?)
|l(?:o(?:r(?:(?:tc|s)h|k)|shitty|osh|p)|i(?:(?:zzor|t)ch|(?:sh)?k)|u(?:k(?:le)?|
rk|sh)|azoncho|erch)|a(?:p(?:(?:lun|as)ch|roing)|z(?:ee|oo)ch)|w(?:a(?:(?:pp|k)o
)?|(?:ee|on|i)k)|n(?:i(?:(?:ff|k)le|tch)|osh))|w(?:i(?:[ft]|z(?:za[kt]|ap)|padda
|sh)|o(?:osh|rf))|c(?:h(?:l(?:oo[pt]|[ae]p|i[pt])|klurt)|reeeezt)|t(?:o(?:o(?:pf
t|ng|f)|ink)|roinggoink|amp)|l(?:o(?:(?:bb|op)le|tch)|ur[kp]|apth|ice)|n(?:i(?:k
ker|p)|a[pt]|uffle|ork)|i(?:t(?:tzle|z)?|zz(?:otz|le))|m(?:a(?:c?k|sh)|ek)|(?:s(
?:li|ss)|u)t|(?:azzik|ree)k|o(?:und|b))|g(?:a(?:s(?:h(?:k(?:litz(?:ka)?|utzga)|p
lutzga|likt|ook)|(?:m[ai]t|kroo)ch|p(?:l(?:oo|u)sh)?)|d(?:o(?:i?ng|on)|a(?:ff|ng
)|i(?:ff|nk))|r(?:(?:un)?k|rargh|oof)|z(?:o[ow]nt|ikka|ap)|l(?:oo(?:om|n)|ink)|h
(?:o(?:ff|rk)|ak)|(?:plo[nr]|c)?k|flor|mop)?|l(?:o(?:o(?:[kt]|(?:ch|d)le|p(?:le)
?)|r(?:[pt]|k(?:le)?|gle)|(?:ydoi|m)p|i(?:ng|p)|n [gt])|u(?:r(?:k(?:le)?|gle)|k(
?:k?le)?|t(?:ch)?|nk|p)|a(?:n(?:gadang|k)|(?:kk|rg)le|(?:din|w)k|p)|i(?:k(?:ity|
le|a)?|t(?:ch)?|nk|sh|p)|ee[pt])|r(?:o(?:wr(?:rooom)?|ink|on)|eedle|aw?k|unch|in
g)|i(?:(?:shkl[ou]r|kkadi)k|(?:gazi )? ng)|o(?:o(?:glooom|ma|sh)|rshle|yng|nk)|u
(?:(?:kgu|w)k|r(?:gle|n))|(?:hom|wa)p)|f(?:l(?:i(?:[kt]|f(?:f(?:l(?:aff|e))?)?|(
?:badi)?p|n[gk]|zaff)|o(?:[fk]|o(?:[mnt]|f(?:ity)?)|r[fk]|ba)|a(?:(?:fflif)?f|d(
?:at|ip)|badap|k)|eedle|u[kt])|w(?:i(?:zz(?:a(?:ch|p)|ish)?|sk(?:itty)?|p(?:ada)
?|t)|a(?:(?:bada|ddap)p|p(?:ada)?|s ?k|ch|m)|o(?:[fp]|o(?:sh|f))|ee[np]?|ump)|a(
?:g(?:roo(?:osh|n)|woosh|lork)|(?:sh(?:klor|un))?k|ba(?:dap)?|p(?:adda)?|roolana
|zzat)|i(?:zz(?:azzit|itz)|tz(?:rower)?|d(?:dit|ip)|ff|p)|u(?:sh(?:shklork)?|rsh
(?:glurk)?|nk(?:ada)?|mp|t)|o(?:o(?:[fnp]|sht?|woom|mp?)|ing|m?p|wm)|r(?:ugga|ac
k|oom|it)|err[ai]p|sssh)|k(?:a(?:ch(?:u(?:nka?|gh)|o(?:nk|o)|aah)|p(?:oooshshish
|la[km]|f)|sh(?:(?:in|oo)k|prit za)?|t(?:oo(?:n[gk]|f)|y)|z(?:a(?:sh|k)|ik|op)|(
?:doon|rra|w)k|l(?:loon|oong)|k(?:roosh|a)?|bo(?:omm|ff)|h(?:eeee|ak))?|l(?:i(?:
n(?:g(?:dinggoon)?|(?:kadin)?k)|(?:krun)?k)|o(?:o(?:n[gk]?|bada|onn)|n[gk]|ink|m
?p)|a(?:k(?:kle)?|n[gk]|dwak)|u(?:m(?:ble|p)|pada|n?k))|r(?:u(?:nch(?:le)?|gazun
ch)|a(?:k(?:kle)?|rkle|sh)|i(?:k(?:it)?|dit)|eek)|i(?:(?:ttoo)?ng|(?:kati)?k|pf)
|w(?:o(?:n[gk]|i?p)|ee[ek]|app)|o(?:o(?:kook|ng)|ff)|(?:erack|u)k)|t(?:h(?:o(?:o
(?:noonn|mp?|f)?|ip(?:oing)?|m?p|rk|t)|w(?:i(?:[pt]|zzik)|o(?:c?k|p)|a[kpt]?|uk)
|u(?:(?:gawun|nc)?k|(?:balu|m)p|rch|d)|l(?:u(?:ck|p)|i[kp]|oop)|a(?:p(?:loof)?|f
f|k)|h(?:h[hu]t|lorp)|i(?:koosh|z))|i(?:k(?:a(?:tik)?|kak?)?|n(?:g(?:alinga)?|k)
|p(?:pity)?)|o(?:o(?:[df]|w(?:it|oo)|n[gk]?|ong|mp)|n[gk]|ing|k)|w(?:ee(?:(?:dl)
?e|n)|o(?:[kp]|ng))|a(?:k(?:ka)?|gak|p)?|z(?:o?o|wa|i)ng|(?:r[ou]m|ff)p|e(?:eoo|
ar)|ubba)|p(?:l(?:o(?:o(?:[mp]|(?:badoo)?f|sh)|r(?:[fk]|tch)|bble|i?p|nk)|a(?:[f
km]|pf?)|i(?:pple|nk|f)|u(?:nk|rp|f))|i(?:t(?:t(?:w(?:ee|oo)n|oo(?:ie)?)|ooie)|n
[gk]|k)|a(?:[fkm]|t(?:w(?:eeee|ang))?|(?:da)?p)|w(?:o(?:(?:mp)?f|ing|k)|a(?:dak|
m)|een)|o(?:[kpw]|i(?:n[gk]|t)|ffisss|ong)|h(?:oo[mno ]|lakffa|elop|wam)|u(?:ff(
?:le|a)?|cka|tt)|f(?:fft|lap)|rawk|sssh)|b(?:l(?:o(?:o(?:[fp]|ma?|oot)|r[fpt]|bb
le|it|nk|p)|a(?:p(?:ple)?|mp?|tch)|i(?:[bf]|(?:di)?t|nk)|ee(?:ble|gh|p)|u(?:[bt]
|ka))|r(?:ee(?:(?:bee)?p|(?:dee)?t)|(?:(?:ood)?oo|nng)t|a(?:[kp]|vo)|rrapp|ing)|
o(?:o(?:m(?:er|a)?|ng)|mbah|rfft|il|ng)|a(?:[kmp]|r(?:ramm|f)|hoo|ng|sh)?|(?:ee[
dy]oo|wee)p|z(?:own|z)t|u(?:mp|r)|ing)|d(?:o(?:o(?:(?:(?:tbwee)?|o)t|b(?:ad)?a|m
[ap]?|n[kt]|dle|p)|i(?:[pt]|nk)|kka|ng?|mp|w)|a(?:k(?:k(?:a(?:dak)?|itydak)|dik)
?|b(?:omp|wak|a)|p(?:ad?da)?|ng)?|i(?:[gt]|n(?:g(?:aling?a)?|k)?|k(?:ka)?|pad?da