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Amethyst/Brain/Infobot/Module/Zippy.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

Either CONFESS now or we go to "PEOPLE'S COURT"!!
Everybody gets free BORSCHT!
Everybody is going somewhere!!  It's probably a garage sale or a disaster Movie!!
Everywhere I look I see NEGATIVITY and ASPHALT ...
Excuse me, but didn't I tell you there's NO HOPE for the survival of OFFSET PRINTING? FEELINGS are cascading over me!!!
Finally, Zippy drives his 1958 RAMBLER METROPOLITAN into the faculty dining room.
First, I'm going to give you all the ANSWERS to today's test ...  So just plug in your SONY WALKMANS and relax!!
FOOLED you!  Absorb EGO SHATTERING impulse rays, polyester poltroon!! for ARTIFICIAL FLAVORING!!
Four thousand different MAGNATES, MOGULS & NABOBS are romping in my gothic solarium!!
FROZEN ENTREES may be flung by members of opposing SWANSON SECTS ... 
FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!
Gee, I feel kind of LIGHT in the head now, knowing I can't make my satellite dish PAYMENTS!
Gibble, Gobble, we ACCEPT YOU ...
Give them RADAR-GUIDED SKEE-BALL LANES and VELVEETA BURRITOS!!
Go on, EMOTE!  I was RAISED on thought balloons!!
GOOD-NIGHT, everybody ... Now I have to go administer FIRST-AID to my pet LEISURE SUIT!!
HAIR TONICS, please!!
Half a mind is a terrible thing to waste!
Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard -- I'm living for today!
Has everybody got HALVAH spread all over their ANKLES?? ...  Now, it's time to "HAVE A NAGEELA"!! ... he dominates the DECADENT SUBWAY SCENE.
He is the MELBA-BEING ... the ANGEL CAKE ... XEROX him ... XEROX him -- He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER!  Or maybe he'd like to PSYCHOLIGICALLY TERRORISE ME until I have no ...
HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes town, family STICKERED to death!
HELLO, everybody, I'm a HUMAN!!
Hello, GORRY-O!!  I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!
Hello.  I know the divorce rate among unmarried Catholic Alaskan females!!
Hello.  Just walk along and try NOT to think about your INTESTINES being almost FORTY YARDS LONG!!
Hello...  IRON CURTAIN?  Send over a SAUSAGE PIZZA!  World War III?  No thanks!
Hello?  Enema Bondage?  I'm calling because I want to be happy, I guess ...
Here I am at the flea market but nobody is buying my urine sample bottles ...
Here I am in 53 B.C. and all I want is a dill pickle!!
Here I am in the POSTERIOR OLFACTORY LOBULE but I don't see CARL SAGAN anywhere!!
Here we are in America ... when do we collect unemployment?
Hey, wait a minute!!  I want a divorce!! ... you're not Clint Eastwood!!
Hey, waiter!  I want a NEW SHIRT and a PONY TAIL with lemon sauce!
Hiccuping & trembling into the WASTE DUMPS of New Jersey like some drunken CABBAGE PATCH DOLL, coughing in line at FIORUCCI'S!!
Hmmm ... a CRIPPLED ACCOUNTANT with a FALAFEL sandwich is HIT by a TROLLEY-CAR ...
Hmmm ... A hash-singer and a cross-eyed guy were SLEEPING on a deserted island, when ...
Hmmm ... a PINHEAD, during an EARTHQUAKE, encounters an ALL-MIDGET FIDDLE ORCHESTRA ... ha ... ha ...
Hmmm ... an arrogant bouquet with a subtle suggestion of POLYVINYL CHLORIDE ...
Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS ...
HOORAY, Ronald!!  Now YOU can marry LINDA RONSTADT too!!
How do I get HOME?
How do you explain Wayne Newton's POWER over millions?  It's th' MOUSTACHE ...  Have you ever noticed th' way it radiates SINCERITY, HONESTY & WARMTH?
It's a MOUSTACHE you want to take HOME and introduce to NANCY SINATRA!
How many retured bricklayers from FLORIDA are out purchasing PENCIL
SHARPENERS right NOW??
How's it going in those MODULAR LOVE UNITS??
How's the wife?  Is she at home enjoying capitalism?
hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub.
HUGH BEAUMONT died in 1982!!
HUMAN REPLICAS are inserted into VATS of NUTRITIONAL YEAST ...
I always have fun because I'm out of my mind!!!
I am a jelly donut.  I am a jelly donut.
I am a traffic light, and Alan Ginzberg kidnapped my laundry in 1927!
I am covered with pure vegetable oil and I am writing a best seller!
I am deeply CONCERNED and I want something GOOD for BREAKFAST!
I am having FUN...  I wonder if it's NET FUN or GROSS FUN?
I am NOT a nut....
I appoint you ambassador to Fantasy Island!!!
I brought my BOWLING BALL -- and some DRUGS!!
I can't decide which WRONG TURN to make first!!  I wonder if BOB GUCCIONE has these problems!
I can't think about that.  It doesn't go with HEDGES in the shape of LITTLE LULU -- or ROBOTS making BRICKS ...
I demand IMPUNITY!
I didn't order any WOO-WOO ... Maybe a YUBBA ... But no WOO-WOO!
I don't believe there really IS a GAS SHORTAGE.. I think it's all just a BIG HOAX on the part of the plastic sign salesmen -- to sell more numbers!!
... I don't know why but, suddenly, I want to discuss declining I.Q. LEVELS with a blue ribbon SENATE SUB-COMMITTEE!
I don't know WHY I said that ... I think it came from the FILLINGS in my read molars ...
... I don't like FRANK SINATRA or his CHILDREN. I don't understand the HUMOUR of the THREE STOOGES!!
I feel ... JUGULAR ...
I feel better about world problems now!
I feel like a wet parking meter on Darvon!
I feel like I am sharing a ``CORN-DOG'' with NIKITA KHRUSCHEV ...
I feel like I'm in a Toilet Bowl with a thumbtack in my forehead!!
I feel partially hydrogenated!
I fill MY industrial waste containers with old copies of the "WATCHTOWER" and then add HAWAIIAN PUNCH to the top ...  They look NICE in the yard ...
I guess it was all a DREAM ... or an episode of HAWAII FIVE-O ...
I guess you guys got BIG MUSCLES from doing too much STUDYING!
I had a lease on an OEDIPUS COMPLEX back in '81 ...
I had pancake makeup for brunch!
I have a TINY BOWL in my HEAD
I have a very good DENTAL PLAN.  Thank you.
I have a VISION!  It's a RANCID double-FISHWICH on an ENRICHED BUN!!
I have accepted Provolone into my life!
I have many CHARTS and DIAGRAMS.. 
... I have read the INSTRUCTIONS ...
-- I have seen the FUN --
I have seen these EGG EXTENDERS in my Supermarket ... I have read the INSTRUCTIONS ...
I have the power to HALT PRODUCTION on all TEENAGE SEX COMEDIES!!
I HAVE to buy a new "DODGE MISER" and two dozen JORDACHE JEANS because my viewscreen is "USER-FRIENDLY"!!
I haven't been married in over six years, but we had sexual counseling every day from Oral Roberts!!
I hope I bought the right relish ... zzzzzzzzz ...
I hope something GOOD came in the mail today so I have a REASON to live!!
I hope the ``Eurythmics'' practice birth control ...
I hope you millionaires are having fun!  I just invested half your life savings in yeast!!
I invented skydiving in 1989!
I joined scientology at a garage sale!!
I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!
I just got my PRINCE bumper sticker ... But now I can't remember WHO he is ...
I just had a NOSE JOB!!
I just had my entire INTESTINAL TRACT coated with TEFLON!
I just heard the SEVENTIES were over!!  And I was just getting in touch with my LEISURE SUIT!!
I just remembered something about a TOAD!
I KAISER ROLL?!  What good is a Kaiser Roll without a little COLE SLAW on the SIDE?
I Know A Joke!!
I know how to do SPECIAL EFFECTS!!
I know th'MAMBO!!  I have a TWO-TONE CHEMISTRY SET!!
I know things about TROY DONAHUE that can't even be PRINTED!!
I left my WALLET in the BATHROOM!!
I like the way ONLY their mouths move ...  They look like DYING OYSTERS
I like your SNOOPY POSTER!!
-- I love KATRINKA because she drives a PONTIAC.  We're going away now.  I fed the cat.
I love ROCK 'N ROLL!  I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT" in 1965!!
I need to discuss BUY-BACK PROVISIONS with at least six studio SLEAZEBALLS!!
I once decorated my apartment entirely in ten foot salad forks!!
I own seven-eighths of all the artists in downtown Burbank!
I put aside my copy of "BOWLING WORLD" and think about GUN CONTROL legislation...
I represent a sardine!!
I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers!
... I see TOILET SEATS ...
I selected E5 ... but I didn't hear "Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs"!
I smell a RANCID CORN DOG!

Amethyst/Brain/Infobot/Module/Zippy.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

Toes, knees, NIPPLES.  Toes, knees, nipples, KNUCKLES ... Nipples, dimples, knuckles, NICKLES, wrinkles, pimples!! TONY RANDALL!  Is YOUR life a PATIO of FUN??
Uh-oh -- WHY am I suddenly thinking of a VENERABLE religious leader frolicking on a FORT LAUDERDALE weekend?
Uh-oh!!  I forgot to submit to COMPULSORY URINALYSIS!
UH-OH!!  I put on "GREAT HEAD-ON TRAIN COLLISIONS of the 50's" by mistake!!!
UH-OH!!  I think KEN is OVER-DUE on his R.V. PAYMENTS and HE'S having a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN too!!  Ha ha.
Uh-oh!!  I'm having TOO MUCH FUN!!
UH-OH!!  We're out of AUTOMOBILE PARTS and RUBBER GOODS!
Used staples are good with SOY SAUCE!
VICARIOUSLY experience some reason to LIVE!!
Vote for ME -- I'm well-tapered, half-cocked, ill-conceived and TAX-DEFERRED!
Wait ... is this a FUN THING or the END of LIFE in Petticoat Junction??
Was my SOY LOAF left out in th'RAIN?  It tastes REAL GOOD!!
We are now enjoying total mutual interaction in an imaginary hot tub ...
We have DIFFERENT amounts of HAIR --
We just joined the civil hair patrol!
We place two copies of PEOPLE magazine in a DARK, HUMID mobile home. 45 minutes later CYNDI LAUPER emerges wearing a BIRD CAGE on her head!
Well, here I am in AMERICA..  I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE it.  I
HATE it.  I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE ... EMOTIONS are SWEEPING over me!!
Well, I'm a classic ANAL RETENTIVE!!  And I'm looking for a way to VICARIOUSLY experience some reason to LIVE!!
Well, I'm INVISIBLE AGAIN ... I might as well pay a visit to the LADIES  ROOM ...
Well, O.K.  I'll compromise with my principles because of EXISTENTIAL DESPAIR!
Were these parsnips CORRECTLY MARINATED in TACO SAUCE?
What a COINCIDENCE!  I'm an authorized "SNOOTS OF THE STARS" dealer!!
What GOOD is a CARDBOARD suitcase ANYWAY?
What I need is a MATURE RELATIONSHIP with a FLOPPY DISK ...
What I want to find out is -- do parrots know much about Astro-Turf?
What PROGRAM are they watching?
What UNIVERSE is this, please??
What's the MATTER Sid? ... Is your BEVERAGE unsatisfactory?
When I met th'POPE back in '58, I scrubbed him with a MILD SOAP or DETERGENT for 15 minutes.  He seemed to enjoy it ...
When this load is DONE I think I'll wash it AGAIN ...
When you get your PH.D. will you get able to work at BURGER KING?
When you said "HEAVILY FORESTED" it reminded me of an overdue CLEANING
BILL ... Don't you SEE?  O'Grogan SWALLOWED a VALUABLE COIN COLLECTION and HAD to murder the ONLY MAN who KNEW!!
Where do your SOCKS go when you lose them in th' WASHER?
Where does it go when you flush?
Where's SANDY DUNCAN?
Where's th' DAFFY DUCK EXHIBIT??
Where's the Coke machine?  Tell me a joke!!
While my BRAINPAN is being refused service in BURGER KING, Jesuit priests are DATING CAREER DIPLOMATS!!
While you're chewing, think of STEVEN SPIELBERG'S bank account ...  his will have the same effect as two "STARCH BLOCKERS"!
WHO sees a BEACH BUNNY sobbing on a SHAG RUG?!
WHOA!!  Ken and Barbie are having TOO MUCH FUN!!  It must be the NEGATIVE IONS!!
Why are these athletic shoe salesmen following me??
Why don't you ever enter any CONTESTS, Marvin??  Don't you know your own ZIPCODE?
Why is everything made of Lycra Spandex?
Why is it that when you DIE, you can't take your HOME ENTERTAINMENT CENTER with you??
Will it improve my CASH FLOW?
Will the third world war keep "Bosom Buddies" off the air?
Will this never-ending series of PLEASURABLE EVENTS never cease?
With YOU, I can be MYSELF ...  We don't NEED Dan Rather ...
World War III?  No thanks!
World War Three can be averted by adherence to a strictly enforced dress code!
Wow!  Look!!  A stray meatball!!  Let's interview it!
Xerox your lunch and file it under "sex offenders"!
Yes, but will I see the EASTER BUNNY in skintight leather at an IRON MAIDEN concert?
You can't hurt me!!  I have an ASSUMABLE MORTGAGE!!
You mean now I can SHOOT YOU in the back and further BLUR th' distinction between FANTASY and REALITY?
You mean you don't want to watch WRESTLING from ATLANTA?
YOU PICKED KARL MALDEN'S NOSE!!
You should all JUMP UP AND DOWN for TWO HOURS while I decide on a NEW CAREER!!
You were s'posed to laugh!
YOU!!  Give me the CUTEST, PINKEST, most charming little VICTORIAN DOLLHOUSE you can find!!  An make it SNAPPY!!
Your CHEEKS sit like twin NECTARINES above a MOUTH that knows no BOUNDS -- Youth of today!  Join me in a mass rally for traditional mental attitudes!
Yow!
Yow!  Am I having fun yet?
Yow!  Am I in Milwaukee?
Yow!  And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights!
Yow!  Are we laid back yet?
Yow!  Are we wet yet?
Yow!  Are you the self-frying president?
Yow!  Did something bad happen or am I in a drive-in movie??
Yow!  I just went below the poverty line!
Yow!  I threw up on my window!
Yow!  I want my nose in lights!
Yow!  I want to mail a bronzed artichoke to Nicaragua!
Yow!  I'm having a quadrophonic sensation of two winos alone in a steel mill!
Yow!  I'm imagining a surfer van filled with soy sauce!
Yow!  Is my fallout shelter termite proof?
Yow!  Is this sexual intercourse yet??  Is it, huh, is it??
Yow!  It's a hole all the way to downtown Burbank!
Yow!  It's some people inside the wall!  This is better than mopping!
Yow!  Maybe I should have asked for my Neutron Bomb in PAISLEY --
Yow!  Now I get to think about all the BAD THINGS I did to a BOWLING BALL when I was in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL!
Yow!  Now we can become alcoholics!
Yow!  Those people look exactly like Donnie and Marie Osmond!!
Yow!  We're going to a new disco!
YOW!!  Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL!
YOW!!  I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!
YOW!!  Now I understand advanced MICROBIOLOGY and th' new TAX REFORM laws!!
YOW!!  The land of the rising SONY!!
YOW!!  Up ahead!  It's a DONUT HUT!!
YOW!!  What should the entire human race DO??  Consume a fifth of
CHIVAS REGAL, ski NUDE down MT. EVEREST, and have a wild SEX WEEKEND!
YOW!!!  I am having fun!!!
Zippy's brain cells are straining to bridge synapses ...