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Jack Bauer doesn't wait for the bus, the bus waits for Jack Bauer.
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Jeeves asks Jack Bauer.
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Jack Bauer does not need eyes, he can smell a terrorist 15 miles away, and can hear the fear in their heads from 2 miles away.
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Every morning, Jack Bauer stares at a basket of kittens and electrocutes himself if he thinks of petting one.
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Jack Bauer saved the day. Twice. In one day.
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Since 2001, the year 24 premiered, terrorist deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
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If Jack Bauer has sex with you, you won't stand straight for a week.
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Jack Bauer's penis was the inspiration for the Washington Monument.
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You've heard of one man bands. Jack Bauer is a one man orchestra.
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Jack Bauer makes his own clothes out of the stomach lining of former terrorists.
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Jack Bauer didn't pull the wings off flies when he was a child.  He pulled the arms off the boys who pulled the wings off flies.