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disguised as ours.

=item C<breaks>

Another claim is that our work breaks up to 10% of the time.  This is a lie
that we shall not dignify any further.

=item C<breaks_when_needed>

The third claim is that our products somehow detect your hour of need and
suddenly fail to work immediately.  This is clearly a coincidence; our minds
love to see patterns even when they are not present.  Think of all of the times
ourproducts have worked perfectly and you will see that, even if our products
ever broke, you merely see coincidences.

=item C<empty_box>

One particularly disturbing claim is that we occasionally ship empty boxes.  If
this ever happens, please return the box for a full one.

=item C<out_of_stock>

It's true; sometimes a product proves so popular that we temporarily run out of
stock.  In this case, we will ship you a raincheck to redeem when we can finish