Bot-BasicBot-Pluggable-Module-Fun

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lib/Bot/BasicBot/Pluggable/Module/Excuse.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

Change your language to Finnish.
Fluorescent lights are generating negative ions. If turning them off doesn't work, take them out and put tin foil on the ends.
High nuclear activity in your area.
What office are you in? Oh, that one.  Did you know that your building was built over the universities first nuclear research site? And wow, aren't you the lucky one, your office is right over where the core is buried!
The MGs ran out of gas.
The UPS doesn't have a battery backup.
Recursivity.  Call back if it happens again.
Someone thought The Big Red Button was a light switch.
The mainframe needs to rest.  It's getting old, you know.
I'm not sure.  Try calling the Internet's head office -- it's in the book.
The lines are all busy (busied out, that is -- why let them in to begin with?).
Jan  9 16:41:27 huber su: 'su root' succeeded for .... on /dev/pts/1
It's those computer people in X {city of world}.  They keep stuffing things up.
A star wars satellite accidently blew up the WAN.
Fatal error right in front of screen
That function is not currently supported, but Bill Gates assures us it will be featured in the next upgrade.
wrong polarity of neutron flow
Lusers learning curve appears to be fractal
We had to turn off that service to comply with the CDA Bill.
Ionization from the air-conditioning
TCP/IP UDP alarm threshold is set too low.

lib/Bot/BasicBot/Pluggable/Module/Excuse.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

Computers under water due to SYN flooding.
The vulcan-death-grip ping has been applied.
Electrical conduits in machine room are melting.
Traffic jam on the Information Superhighway.
Radial Telemetry Infiltration
Cow-tippers tipped a cow onto the server.
tachyon emissions overloading the system
Maintenance window broken
We're out of slots on the server
Computer room being moved.  Our systems are down for the weekend.
Sysadmins busy fighting SPAM.
Repeated reboots of the system failed to solve problem
Feature was not beta tested
Domain controller not responding
Someone else stole your IP address, call the Internet detectives!
It's not RFC-822 compliant.
operation failed because: there is no message for this error (#1014)
stop bit received
internet is needed to catch the etherbunny
network down, IP packets delivered via UPS
Firmware update in the coffee machine

lib/Bot/BasicBot/Pluggable/Module/Excuse.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

Daemon escaped from pentagram
crop circles in the corn shell
sticky bit has come loose
Hot Java has gone cold
Cache miss - please take better aim next time
Hash table has woodworm
Trojan horse ran out of hay
Zombie processes detected, machine is haunted.
overflow error in /dev/null
Browser's cookie is corrupted -- someone's been nibbling on it.
Mailer-daemon is busy burning your message in hell.
According to Microsoft, it's by design
vi needs to be upgraded to vii
greenpeace free'd the mallocs
Terrorists crashed an airplane into the server room, have to remove /bin/laden. (rm -rf /bin/laden)
astropneumatic oscillations in the water-cooling
Somebody ran the operating system through a spelling checker.
Rhythmic variations in the voltage reaching the power supply.
Keyboard Actuator Failure.  Order and Replace.

lib/Bot/BasicBot/Pluggable/Module/Zippy.pm  view on Meta::CPAN

BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI- ... bleakness ... desolation ... plastic forks ...
Bo Derek ruined my life!
Boy, am I glad it's only 1971...
Boys, you have ALL been selected to LEAVE th' PLANET in 15 minutes!!
But they went to MARS around 1953!!
But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?
Can I have an IMPULSE ITEM instead?
Can you MAIL a BEAN CAKE?
Catsup and Mustard all over the place!  It's the Human Hamburger!
CHUBBY CHECKER just had a CHICKEN SANDWICH in downtown DULUTH!
Civilization is fun!  Anyway, it keeps me busy!!
Clear the laundromat!!  This whirl-o-matic just had a nuclear meltdown!!
Concentrate on th'cute, li'l CARTOON GUYS!  Remember the SERIAL NUMBERS!!  Follow the WHIPPLE AVE. EXIT!!  Have a FREE PEPSI!!  Turn LEFT at th'HOLIDAY INN!!  JOIN the CREDIT WORLD!!  MAKE me an OFFER!!!
CONGRATULATIONS!  Now should I make thinly veiled comments about DIGNITY, self-esteem and finding TRUE FUN in your RIGHT VENTRICLE??
Content:  80% POLYESTER, 20% DACRONi ... The waitress's UNIFORM sheds TARTAR SAUCE like an 8" by 10" GLOSSY ...
Could I have a drug overdose?
Did an Italian CRANE OPERATOR just experience uninhibited sensations in a MALIBU HOT TUB?
Did I do an INCORRECT THING??
Did I say I was a sardine?  Or a bus???
Did I SELL OUT yet??
Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA?